DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from TF&TF. I'm just using them to amuze myself!! I do however claim Danni as all mine.

Note: This is the third installment in my "Broken Heart" series, and sugeest you read Rain on me, and Kiss your love goodbye before reading this one to understand.

Walk Away

It's lonely here. I have no one anymore. All I have are my thoughts and memories of a life that I left behind. A life where once I was happy. A life where naïve and simple minded me thought that I had found the one thing that we crave, love. I had a man, a partner, a soul mate. I had friends, a family and I was happy. Now I sit in this house, with nothing but my mind and the ocean to keep me company.

I can't mend
This torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn

Two years ago, I walked away from the perfect life. I had it all; I even had a baby on the way. My baby, Joshua. They let me and Dom hold him for a while after he was cleaned up and brought to the morgue. I just remember staring at that sweet little precious face. He looked exactly like his father. He had his nose, his chin and the shape of his face. He was so small, so delicate. When Joshua appeared I was in a fragile state. I knew that Dom had been messing around on the side; hell a blind person could have seen the signs. He would come home at all hours of the night, and smell of different woman. Nevertheless, I never said anything because it was me that he was coming home to every night. I was the one that he would cuddle with and wake up with the next morning. I thought that was enough for me, I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I threw up one night at dinner. Poor Mia thought that it was her food. Dom took me to the bathroom to get cleaned up and there is where I told him.

Part of me wants to place the pain and blame somewhere else, but truth be told that I don't think that would help anyone, including me. It wasn't Letty's fault that I couldn't love Dom anymore. It wasn't Dom's fault that I was numb inside. I pushed the two of them together whether I can admit it to anyone else is a different story.

No matter what I tried, I couldn't get Joshua out of my system. I tried to let him go, and every time I tried the pain just got worse because a part of me knew that he was my last link to Dom. My last hope that Dom would settle down and be a family man. I never wanted him to stop racing, racing was in his blood and it's what drove him. I wanted him to stop the cheating. I wanted him to realize that with me and Joshua is where home was.

And it hurts my soul
Cause I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control

I created this world where I didn't want to feel or love anymore. I shut down hard. Every time Dom would take me in his arms I would close my eyes and try to go numb because when I felt it hurt, it was like the pain intensified ten times more and I couldn't stand it. I had no control over my emotions; I was this shell of a person who drove the only man she has ever loved away. I need him, I needed Dom more then the air in my lungs but I didn't know how to have him. Inside I was screaming, begging Dom to hold me, but when he did, it hurt. I could stand the way it felt to feel. I was desperately hanging on to Joshua because I knew that I had already lost Dom. I didn't know what to do. In addition, as much as the team tried to be there for me, it didn't help. Their looks of pity and sadness made me feel even worse. I know they meant for the best, but it only made it worse. The only one who knew what to do was Jesse.

Jesse would come into our room late at night, and I don't know how he knew that I was crying because I never made a sound, the tears would just flood from my eyes. He would come in, sit down on the floor next to the bed and hold my hand. He never said a word, just sat there and hummed songs that his mother used to use to sing him to sleep before she died. He would stroke the top of my hand and just hum. It calmed me down and helped me to fall a sleep, and clam down. He never judged me, he never told me that I needed to let go and move on with my life, he would just sit there with me and silently told me everything I needed to know. That it was okay to cry, it was okay to miss Joshua and that he knew why I couldn't walk away from Dom and his lies. Jesse was there when things were good between Dom and saw how happy we really were with one another.

I need to get away from ya
I need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away

Jesse knew that I needed to walk away if I wanted any kind of sanity or a normal life that I needed to walk away and soon before there was, nothing left.

"If he loves you or ever did truly loved you, he will understand." He would always tell me right before he placed a kiss on my forehead and walked out. He thought I was sleeping but I was really just enjoying the comfort. Something I hadn't felt in a really long time, not since the first time I caught Dom and Letty. I was with Jesse when we caught them the first time.

It was one of the Sunday dinners we always had. Mia, Vince and Leon went on a last minute run for things that we were missing which was usually beer and meat. And Jesse and I were on ice and salad run. We were talking in the car about his latest "kick ass creation" that he wanted to put on my car. He had been fighting with himself for months now on what he wanted to put on my car for a decal. It had been one wrong decal after another. I was afraid the boy would never be satisfied. Dom and Letty stayed behind, Mia had put Letty in charge of chopping up the rest of the veggies and Dom was manning the grill as usual. Jess and I pulled up in the driveway. He got out and raced a head of me as I struggled with the bag of ice that were melting all over my backseat. I was walking up the driveway to the stairs when Jesse came back out a blank look on his face.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He tired to get me to go back to the store or to wait for others outside. I laughed him off and made my way past him. I walked through the house with the bags starting to drip from the melted water I was carrying around. I was in the living room almost to the kitchen when I saw them. I stopped dead in my tracks all I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears, and the sound of me still breathing. I felt like Vince had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't move. There on the counter, Dom with his pants down around his ankles and Letty with hers down around one ankle and the other wrapped around Dom's waist. I lost all strength and almost dropped the bags. That is when Jesse showed up and took the bags. He pushed me up stairs and then went back down the stairs to slam the front door to let Dom and Letty know someone else was home.

"Hey Jess, where's my girl?" Dom asked wiping his mouth As Letty was smirking cutting the carrots up. Her hair was messed up and her pants were crooked.

"She had a headache, she's up stairs sleeping." Jesse said throwing the bags in the freezer and shutting the door.

"I better go check on my baby. Thanks Jess." Dom said slapping Jess on the back and heading out of the kitchen. He brought his ass up stairs. I heard the bedroom door open and I shut my eyes, I didn't want to see him, not now. He walked around to my side of the bed. I heard him whisper my name, when I didn't move; he placed a simple kiss on my forehead and walked out. As soon as I heard that old click my eyes shot open because all I could see was them on the counter, fucking. Before finding the two of them, I was faking my happiness and now I could no longer. I was finally at rock bottom and I couldn't pretend anymore.

I don't know what to do
My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each beat reminds me of you

I started sleeping in Jesse's room and then wake up in Dom's bed. I couldn't sleep there. Everything felt so dirty there, the sheets, the pillows, the curtains, everything smelled like her and him and I couldn't stomach it. My chest hurt all the time, and I cried all the time when the team wasn't around. Jesse's room is the only place that I felt I could breathe. And I lived that way for months, but it was only now, I noticed little things I didn't before I caught them.

The way they would both take the long way home after the races, or the way they would both be missing at the same time. That is around the time I found out that I was three months along with Joshua. Finally, the last hope for me to get Dom back, I didn't know why but I wanted him back. I wanted us to be happy, the way we were.

I leaned my head against the cold glass window and watched the rain make patterns on my window. The rain these days often comforted me, I felt like someone else felt my pain and was crying with me, someone understood. It's lonely here, I am alone but I need to heal, I left to heal and move on. I needed to get over Dom and make peace with Joshua.

I get smothered in dispair, it's never over, over
Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare,
I let out a silent prayer
that it be over, over
Inside I'm screaming
Begging, pleading no more

Still to this day, I cannot let it go yet. My life here is simple and lonely. My own little prison that I cannot seem to get myself out of, not yet. I'm not ready. But I do, I want to leave this behind, but I know that I can never go back. I can never go back and right the wrongs that I have done. What I did two years ago was the only thing I could do to survive....

I had to walk away....