A/N - Bioware owns the rights to all things Dragon Age. I just play in their universe.
Fenris silently watched his sister run out of the Hanged Man, his face a mask pain. "I thought discovering my past would bring a sense of belonging. But I was wrong. Magic has tainted that too. There is nothing for me to reclaim. I am alone."
Evleen Hawke stepped in closer to him. "I'm here Fenris."
He looked into the emerald depths of her eyes and for the briefest of moments he let down his guard. The tenderness in his gaze took her breath away. He reached out and lightly brushed her cheek with his bloodied fingers. Then the walls went up and he turned away from her. He lifted up his tattooed arms. "You heard what Verania said. I wanted these. I fought for them." His lip curled up in disgust. "I feel unclean. Like this magic is not only etched into my skin, but has also stained my soul." He turned back to her, his expression one of self-loathing. "Let's go. I need to get out of here."
As they were leaving they heard the bartender shout, "Who's gonna clean this up?" Hawke turned back and saw Varric take out a small leather pouch and put it on the bar. She shook her head. She would have to pay him back. She couldn't let him pick up the whole tab.
Outside the bar the sun was shining brightly. As the group made to go their separate ways for the day, a battle-weary Anders stumbled into Fenris. The elf shoved the mage. "Get away from me, abomination!"
Anders would have fallen if Sebastian hadn't been there to catch him. "Fenris, what's gotten into you?" the young prince asked.
"I'm sick to death of mages," he replied as he stalked away.
"I'm beginning to think we should have given him to that Magister after all," Anders muttered.
"I'll talk to him," Hawke said. She lengthened her stride to catch up to the long-legged elf. "Fenris wait." He stopped at the base of the stairs that led to Hightown. "What was that all about?"
"I didn't want that abomination touching me," he growled.
Evleen paused to let some people past them up the stairs. She moved in closer to the elven warrior. "Are you even listening to yourself? That abomination kept us all alive while we helped you kill your former master."
Fenris turned away from her and started to walk up the stairs. "I didn't ask for his help."
Hawke kept pace beside him. "But you did ask for my help and I asked our friends to help. If they hadn't been there we both would have died or been taken by Denarius. They all risked their lives to save you from slavery. Doesn't that count for something?"
He stopped and glared at her. "What do you want me to say?"
She returned his glare. "How about thank you, for a start?"
"What, say thank you to the blood mage and the abomination?" he sneered.
"No damn it! Say thank you to Merill and Anders. They didn't have to come. With the horrible way you treat them, I'm surprised that they did. They're people Fenris." She closed her eyes and bowed her head. Her voice lowered to just above a whisper. "Just like Bethany."
Fenris saw a single tear slide from beneath her eyelids. His heart faltered. He had only ever seen her cry once before—when her mother died. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Hawke…"
Evleen lifted her head and met his gaze, her eyes bright with unshed tears. When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. "I thought when you came to me this time that maybe, just maybe we had a chance. If we killed Denarius then you could finally find peace. Then you would let me in and we could be together." A soft sob escaped her lips before she clenched her jaw and angrily wiped away her tears. "But I can't do this. You keep saying magic has tainted your soul." She shook her head. "It's not magic that's tainted you—it's hatred. It colors everything around you. You see every mage through that tarnished glass and they all look the same to you. I can't live like that. These people are my friends and I love them, in spite of their flaws." A sad smile touched her lips. She reached out and gently brushed back a stray lock of his silver-white hair. "I love you, Fenris. I always will. But I think it's time for us to move on." Her voice sank to a whisper. "Goodbye."
When Evleen turned away from him, Fenris felt like she was taking his heart with her. "Hawke." She turned back, a small spark of hope in her eyes. His throat constricted. Everything he wanted to say suddenly became stuck behind the great wall of his bitterness. He shook his head and looked away from her. "I'm sorry."
She nodded and closed her eyes against the pain. "So am I."
Fenris stood frozen in place while he watched the woman he loved walk away from him, the warm sun shining brightly on her auburn hair. Resentment filled him. Magic had even tainted his love for her.
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