The Horns Hold Up the Halos
There are times in a young girl's life when you're feeling really great. There are those moments when nothing can bring you down and everything makes you soar higher. There are even times when you can see yourself putting on your favorite pair of boxing gloves and removing a good number of teeth from your alleged nemesis. Of course, that last one only really applies to people as truly insane and violent as me and a dear friend with whom I had brought with me on one of the days completely opposite the kind mentioned above.
And, God knows it wasn't about to end at a simple "bad day". Because that would just be too easy, wouldn't it?
Let's rewind for a second. Somehow, I had managed to get my self either so completely stressed and depressed that my parents finally decided to send me away for a while, or they needed a break from my nagging. I'll admit it. I am a nag when I'm ticked off. And, it doesn't take much to tick me off. And, you know, that might be fine if my parents weren't living, breathing invasions of my privacy. So, all of this ended and began with my being sent to work with my uncle for a while. He wasn't really my uncle, more like a dear family friend who I had often wished to be with in place of my parents whenever I was bored. Surely, there was nothing more interesting in the whole world than traveling from land to land to kill demons. And, not to mention it was the great Froi Tiedoll himself that was the exorcist in question. The whole event was just marvelous in every way! I even got to bring an equally (or more) miserable one of my very dear companions with me for comfort and enjoyment. What could possibly make it bad? Nothing!
Other than that time of the month of course.
And, so there we were, walking a freaking million miles with a couple of freaking weirdoes to a freaking insane organization filled with freaks; all accompanied by my stomach cramps. Joy, oh joy! If gym class couldn't drive me into insanity, this could. And would. And was.
I ought to, perhaps, wisely tell you about me and my friend. I'm a freak. Simple. I'm too smart, too tall, too strong, and too creative. Naturally, that makes friendship a difficult thing to acquire. It's people like me who are very flawed underneath but supposedly perfect on the outside that have such a hard time living that negativity is a serious issue. Everybody expects MORE of you, even if you can't give that. As "wonderful" as people think I am, I'm self-centered, annoying, short-tempered, and a crybaby. See, I even admit my faults so clearly confidence is an issue too!
But my friend Jamie was just different from the average person in every way I was and more. I was smart, but she was smart and fast. I was strong, but she was stronger. I was short-tempered, and if you so much as looked at her the wrong way she's kill you so fast it would take a while for you to even realize you were dead. In short, she was one of the few people who could understand me, keep up with me, outrun me, and make me feel like I wasn't a total living mistake. And, I'm fairly sure she felt somewhat the same.
Of course, I did have other friends, but I didn't really think any of them cared to come with us after I mentioned the possibility that we'd be killed by Akuma before even reaching the destination. Perhaps that would have been nice to leave out?
But, even so, it could NOT get any better. Not a chance.
Unless, you know, it had been on any other day of the month.
Obviously.
The first thing we saw when we reached the end of the climb was a huge gothic-style building that was easily, EASILY the biggest building I'd ever seen. But, I live in a puny and pitiful little town where the biggest building is a three-story hospital. It's not exactly as if I'd have much chance to see a building I wouldn't be able to drop-kick a soccer ball over. Or decapitated doll heads supplied by Jamie. Both seem to work wonderfully.
If I tried to kick ANYTHING over that building, I'd crack the window on the first floor and be working the rest of my life to pay for a pane of glass that damned big.
"Uncle Tiedoll," I whined pathetically. "PLEASE tell me this is the right place?"
"Of course! Welcome to the Black Order girls!" I was amazed that somebody so plagued by so many horrible events could always be so happy and so peaceful. And all of that didn't change the fact that I felt so much less than so-so. So there.
I was coming just about as close as I could to clinging to Jamie without her whacking me in the head as I could. Along with my other faults, I hate people. Where there's a big building, there's a big crowd. Rule of thumb. You know, unless you're dealing with those snooty rich people who never leave their home after they move in. But, seeing as it was the Headquarters of a major organization, it was safe to bet there would be plenty of people there. It would be difficult to work with an army of one person.
And that is why the American Army motto was killed off.
I strode uncomfortably behind my uncle, not really paying attention to anything but the dead drop-off that we had somehow managed to get up even though I couldn't climb to save my life. I said I was strong, not athletic. And, I was very much regretting not having my head forward to see where I was going.
"EH?!?" I heard Jamie squeak a little bit. I ignored it mostly, but blinked a few times and about-faced.
That was the biggest eye I'd ever seen. "HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!!" I felt my heart stop as I cursed my lungs out in surprise. I ran right behind Jamie and grasped her shoulders for support as I felt my entire body wavering and quivering from shock. She jabbed me with an elbow, but I suppose she gave up on it only a moment later.
"They're safe," the huge face growing from the door said bluntly. "But they're REALLY weird…"
Jamie used her right-hook-of-terror right on the Gatekeeper's nearest eye.
"GYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He screamed out in horrible pain. I have to admit, it was impressive to see a girl like Jamie who might appear completely normal face down a giant without hesitation. With her bare hands. You know, or a shotgun, but that wasn't handy at the time being. "NOOOOOO!!!! GET HER AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Tiedoll sighed and redrew that indestructible of his right back where it had been. "Sorry about that Gatekeeper. The two of them just got a little surprised."
"SURPRISED?!?! I'M BLIND!!!"
"… I barely touched you."
"EEEEEEEEEIIIII!!!!" It shrieked in all of its feminine terror. At a girl. And, I'm going to bet that everybody watching the security camera right then was having a "wtf" moment. But hey, somebody has to do it. And so, with the frightened head still bawling, we entered into the building.
And I couldn't even believe that it looked BIGGER form the inside. How is that even possible?
And, the welcoming party was right there too! Just wonderful! I take two steps inside and Jamie's already making faces clearly expressing the thoughts of, these people of INSANE, and I would know! And we would. Ask anybody who knows either of us if we're insane and you'll have an instantaneous "YESS!!! They tried to kill me!!!! Waaaahhh!!" And we enjoyed every minute of it, I'm sure.
The first in the freak-show was this really, what's the word I'm looking for? Um… Prissy-looking dude with a burette-type hat thing and shiny glasses. He was grinning his ass off. Why? Who knows?
And it wasn't about to end at harmless smiling either. Now, I'm normally pretty civil, especially compared to Jamie. But, if you can recall the problem I was having with the date, I think you'll understand.
"HELLO!" He waved his arms around, much as if he was attempting to fly. This was a very entertaining thought for me. Can you see that? "I'm Komui Lee! So very nice to meet you two! I've heard a lot about you from Sir Tiedoll!"
Jamie's urge to maim was rising with every one of his syllables. And, on any other day, I might have considered stopping her before anything happened. Not today. No way.
He struck out his hand pleasantly, and I just glared at him like he was nuts… or the plague. I have different faces for every thought. No poker-face though. Kinda sucks.
"Hi," I replied shortly and timidly. Like I said, I don't like people. People scare me. Scary people like Jamie scare the people away though. Of course, those people should really get their eyes checked if they don't get a response form her infamous "I'll murder you" glare. Perhaps even with those crescent glasses of his he was blind. Hard to say.
"Ah! You must be Ellie!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me out from behind my friend, far away from my circle of comfort. FAR away. "It's SOOO nice to finally meet you!!!"
"… Eh?" I could feel my arm starting to get dislocated. "What did you hear exactly…?"
"Oh, lots of wonderful, WONDERFUL things! Your fighting skills, your smarts, and all about that beautiful writing!!! WONDERFUL!!!"
Yeah, somebody has found the word of the day. "Um… Thanks… I think?"
"Oh not a problem at all, my dear!!" My eye twitched. Nobody in the entire world talked to me like that. And, I honestly preferred it that way. Especially because there were at least ten other people I didn't know watching.
"AND THIS MUST BE JAMIE!!!" He bounded over to my violent, sadistic, manic friend in the style that reminded me of a ballerina.
"If you touch me," she warned with an icy aura dripping off of her ever word. "I. Will. Kill. You."
"… Right then!" He twirled around on a dime, never losing that annoying beam on his mug. "General, you'd better get to the Board Room, and I'll make sure these two get safely up to their rooms!!"
"All right then." Tiedoll nodded lightly. "I'll see you two in a while. Stay out of trouble, all right Ellie?"
"Yes sir," I replied monotonously. How many times had I heard that from my folks? I couldn't count it on the fingers of all my friends and their friends and so on put together. He walked away, clearly admiring the architecture of the building. Jamie and I walked behind the fairy-man and his cohorts. I felt my chest grow heavy. I had hoped for excitement, not people instantly respecting me for something I did without really even trying to. Lord knows this was going to be an equally painful vacation as all the others before me. But hey, at least I wouldn't be stuck at home alone or have to go to school. Plus and plus! And, on top of that, I was going to get killed by Akuma, bothered every moment I was still breathing, and get lost so many time I'd never tell up from down the same way again! So, that about ruins it.
"Pst," Jamie got my attention.
"Hm?"
She whispered quietly in my ear. "Let's ditch them."
And just like that, I was actually having fun.