Late night questionings
They had fallen asleep on the couch. WhiteJo's head was resting on Darryl's shoulder. Suddenly, a cry woke them up. WhiteJo moved away from Darryl.
"Sorry." He said.
"Don't worry." He replied, forgetting for a fraction of a second about his child and focusing on the man beside him.
"Do you need any help?" WhiteJo asked.
"No, no, I don't think so. Thank you." Darryl said as he stood up, hitting his toe with the table in front of them. A groan of pain escaped him, but he continued his way to the bedroom where his newborn child was sleeping just a few minutes ago.
Two weeks had passed and he had not gotten used to being a single father taking care of such a tiny human. But he was working on it. Unfortunately, he had a lot in his mind with Rebecca going to jail and WhiteJo. He did not know where they were on their relationship: they weren't officially back, but they had been spending much time together since he went to visit to the hospital. Darryl found out through his friends that since their breakup, the trainer had gone to Mexico and also adopted a dog; he heard he hadn't been in a very good place lately. Not that he was to blame but… he couldn't help but feel sorry for the man he still loved.
Once in the bedroom, he took the baby in his arms and started cooing her. The cries didn't stop until Darryl gave her milk. He started humming a lullaby to calm her.
Josh walked in quietly; Darryl looked at him and smiled. Josh smiled back, thinking about how peaceful both the baby and him looked. They didn't talk, they just stood there in silence until the little girl was sleeping again. Darryl put her back in her crib as gently as he could; she shifted at first, but didn't wake up. He put his hands on the crib and watched his child breathe softly. Josh was staring at Darryl's hands and decided to place his left hand on top of his right one. They entangled their fingers for a moment.
Said moment was broken by the sudden roll of the baby, which took them off guard and made them separate their hands. Since she didn't seem to be waking up, they walked out of the room.
"Hey so… hmm." Josh began as soon as they were outside, but keeping his voice down. "I should get going, it's really late and I'm probably a distraction, you have your baby and I know parenting is not precisely easy. Thanks for tonight, D." He said with half a smile.
"Yeah, yeah." Darryl answered. "Although, you're not really a distraction, you know? I like having you around." He paused and stared at the floor. "You could… stay here if you want to, driving right now could be quite dangerous. Besides, we dank a little."
"Oh no, no! You've done too much already, seriously. And I'm fine, it was just a glass of wine, I believe that I can make it to my place with that little 'nap' we took." He said, heading to the door.
"Fine, if you say so. Just be careful, please." He begged and followed Josh. "And thank you for coming and just being here. It was nice."
At this point, the door was opened and Josh was standing right outside Darryl's apartment. The very same place where he had given the owner a kiss on the cheek after a party.
"Goodnight Darryl." Josh said as he walked towards the hallway.
"Bye Josh." The older man replied, closed the door and went to his bed.
Once he was driving home, Josh thought about Darryl's offer. He could go back, knock on his door and told him he had changed his mind about staying. He probably wouldn't mind. But no, he couldn't do that, not now at least. He still had to work out some stuff on his own and the questions that had been bothering him for almost a year, reappeared. Did he really didn't want kids or was he just too afraid to raise one with someone else? He loved Madison, but it was Darryl's daughter. Of course it had been his at some point and in a way but… what if he was just scared? Seeing Darryl with his baby always brought a smile upon his face, so what was the problem? And he obviously still loved Darryl, of course he had pushed him with the whole baby thing and it made sense back then that they separated, but did it made sense now? All he wanted was to be next to him again, to hold his hand and make him croissants, to listen to him talk about his day at the office and to tell him what had happened at the gym, to kiss him, to sleep with him. To be with him.
Meanwhile, Darryl was having a similar discussion with himself, lying in bed and his baby monitor next to him. Why did he have to push Josh with starting a family? Why couldn't he listen for once and not be so self-centered? What if his effort to make a move on Josh was too soon? What if instead, he should have kissed him? No, no, that would have just been plain wrong. He didn't know what to expect from the future, but what he did know was that he missed Josh.