"I'm worried about you."
"Why do you have to worry about me?"
Slow Down
Chapter One
His graduation was a heartrending event. The drama club had insisted on throwing him and the other seniors an after party which consisted mainly of really loud clatter at a really good restaurant. There were the expected tears and confessions that came with the ending of their high school years along with the need to take countless photos as means to preserve their final memories.
He was tired. It would be a lie to say he was unaffected by the whole scenario- it was his last day as a high schooler after all (or maybe that had already passed)- but he secretly wished he was laying in a warm futon dozing off to sleep rather than put up with the rowdy kids. He took another sip of the soda in front of him, hoping the sugary drink would keep him awake long enough till it was appropriate for him to head home.
Masayuki's eyes scanned the group. He really would miss everyone there- even the girls in the corner who did nothing but fawn over Yuu Kashima all day. He let out a sigh.
Where was Kashima anyway?
As if he had subconsciously summoned her, the tall girl ran into the private room. Her hair was a mess and she was panting hard, but her flushed face seemed to glow with excitement. Upon meeting eyes with the upperclassman, she grinned.
"Hori-senpai!" she exclaimed as came over. Her long legs made the distance within a matter of seconds and the next thing he knew, his hands were held in hers. "Thank goodness, I thought you left already!"
"I've been considering it but it would be rude to just leave," Masayuki replied. Surprisingly, the crowd around the brown haired male seemed to quiet down a bit more just at her presence.
"Well, if you haven't left yet, do you wanna go now?" Yuu asked with a wide grin. He looked around as he removed his calloused hands away from hers. Everyone seemed to be preoccupied or ignoring them- a vast difference to how it had been the past two years with the underclassman. She attracted attention no matter where she went, and yet right now no one was looking in their direction. "No one would mind if you did. Let's just sneak out!"
"But what for?"
"I have something I want to show you! Don't worry, don't worry, we can come back later!" The taller female took hold of his hand again and lead him towards the exit. Still, no one seemed to notice.
The air outside was chilly and the sky was dark. Masayuki took note of the time, 21:30. The stars were peaking out behind the clouds of the March twilight.
He was being led by the hand by the green eyed girl who was running to who knows where. The thought that this might be the last time seeing this back and this uniform and feel the warm hand encasing his made him wish he had his camera with him.
When Yuu finally stopped, the two were panting. She had lead him to a river that ran parallel to the road they took from the station to school.
"Kashima, what is this?" he asked, crossing his arms as he caught his breath. She smiled a beautifully cheeky grin at him in response.
"Tada! The riverside!"
Masayuki raised an eyebrow at her and watched as she danced down the stairs that lead closer to the water and walked up to the railing that prevented civilians from falling into it's cold depths. After another sigh, he shoved his hands in his pockets and followed her.
"What did you bring me here for?" he asked. Yuu was silent for a moment. Then she laughed.
"No reason!"
"Wha- idiot. What are you a dog? Did you just want to go for a walk or something?"
There was no response, only her light laughter as he softly hit her arm.
The following silence wasn't too bad. Masayuki leaned back against the metal fence and looked up at the starry sky above them. It was really beautiful.
After a minute or so, Yuu quietly asked, "Senpai, what are you planning to do after this?"
Masayuki looked at her. Her eyes were covered by the shadow of her bangs. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.
Her hair was growing longer again. Her bangs fell down the length of her cheek and the back she seemed to constantly trim to keep her princely image was starting to reach the bottom of her collar. He wondered when the last time she cut it was.
"I'm guessing you mean after today, right? In the future? ...Honestly, I'm not really sure," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Obviously I'm going to college. That's already been decided. As for goals and dreams, I don't know if I have any right now," he groaned. "I didn't think I'd make it this far."
Yuu laughed lightly and rested her head upon her arms that were folded atop the railing. "Congratulations, Hori-senpai," she whispered.
He snickered and ruffled her blue hair. "Why are you acting so down now? I'm not going to be leaving until the end of this month. Anyway, the college I'm going to is pretty close, you know! Just about two to three hours away."
The girl pouted and protested, "That's not close at all!" Masayuki laughed again.
Another silence ensued. The short male closed his eyes.
"It's weird. High school is already over for me, but I don't feel any different," he mumbled.
"Do you have to be different?" the younger teen asked. Masayuki shrugged.
"Well. I guess not. But I feel like it should be more… climactic I guess. Like something should happen. Ah- not that this isn't nice. Standing here is great. It's like time has slowed down. Stopped just for us."
Kashima let out a low humm in response. "Hori-senpai, I don't think you should change. I like you the way you are." The female then straightened herself up and made a show of dusting off her skirt. "Not that change is bad, though."
The female then extended her hand to him once again. "Let's go back!"
He took her hand. It was 22:00.
Now, it was 9:00 and rather than the end of March, it was the beginning of April. A year later and Masayuki still didn't feel like he had changed. The simple beaded bracelet in his hand hung limply as he gazed up at it. He had been laying in bed for the past few hours remembering that day.
After he and Yuu had visited the river, she lead him back to the venue. Before they made their re-entrance, she let go of his hand only to place the bracelet in his palm. Strung upon it were a series of clear, blue, and white beads, with a small silver hand-crafted piece with his name on in. She had assured him it didn't cost too much, and gently pulled his hand through it. Then, they walked back in, and the club members made a deal of congratulating him specifically for leading the club for the past year.
It was a joyful celebration.
Masayuki rolled over.
The silver bead shone in the light streaming through his window. The bed sheets smelled of sweet vanilla, and he felt himself falling asleep.
As the bracelet finally slipped out of his hand and onto the floor, his phone started ringing.
"Shit," he cursed as he quickly got up. Why did he offer to work a shift that day?
His job wasn't so bad. He actually juggled two part-times while attending school and working backstage at the university's drama club. He worked part time at the campus library, usually organizing books and magazines and helping students find the material they needed. Masayuki tended to pick up a few hours a week when working there and always made sure to take some time to stop and read some playwrights.
After his usual librarian shift, he often would have to take a bus over to his second job: a short internship with a small light technician group. He took his experiences from there and brought it to the drama club, letting him master other areas of the art he hadn't been acquainted with in high school.
Today was Saturday, what he liked to call his off day. However, he didn't have any big tests or papers due next week, so when he was asked to come in and work the information desk for at least an hour or two, he had accepted.
Masayuki quickly changed shirts, opening the drawer closest to him, then automatically closing it after remembering his girlfriend had moved his keys to a table near their front door.
His girlfriend… Ever since college had started, Masayuki wasn't too scared about fitting in, but he was slightly worried about how weird and lonely he might feel. For the first week or so, he would long for those simple days in high school where his schedule was relatively set and easy to remember, and he would always have Kashima or Nozaki or even classmates to talk to.
After a month or so, he had joined the drama club. He didn't bother acting; no one assumed he could act anyway. He just casually signed up to work with the crew backstage. The first one he had met in that club was another freshman, a cute girl named Ami.
Her long hair was always held back in a braid or a bun and she always wore a delicate necklace with a blue gemmed pendant. She specialized in audio and tech, and encouraged him to try something new: hence the whole reason he now worked with lights.
They had clicked almost instantly. Somehow, it was always easy for him to talk to her. After three months of knowing her, they started going out. A year later, she had agreed to move in with him.
With the thought of his girlfriend in mind, Masayuki's job went by quicker, and he was excited to meet her at their usual cafe for their usual weekly date.
"Masayuki!" The brunette boy stopped on the stairs to turn around at the voice. There she was, rushing down the library's entrance stairs to catch up with him.
She didn't always wait outside the library for him, but seeing her a few minutes early was always a pleasant surprise for him.
"Ami!" he called out, extending his arms wide for a hug. However, when she finally reached him, she didn't leap into his arms like she always did. Instead, she took his hands in hers and guided them back down beside him.
Confused, he just squeezed her hands and smiled brightly.
"Masayuki… I have something to tell you…" she muttered quietly, avoiding eye contact. Her petite hands we shaking slightly. He could tell something was wrong.
"Yes?"
At her hesitance, he brought a hand up to her forehead. She flinched. Worried Masayuki asked, "Are you okay? You look a little pale…"
"Hori, I'm very sorry, but I can't do this anymore."
All the heat felt like it was being sucked out of his body. "What? Do what anymore?"
"Date. I can't go out with you anymore."
"I'm sorry?"
"Hori… I just… I don't love you. Just… not as much as you love me."
And instantly, Masayuki felt like his world was crashing down.
"Oh. You… You don't…" The male coughed out an awkward sorry before taking a hesitant step back. "I… I guess I'll… We'll end here, then."
On instinct, the short boy broke out in a sprint away from the girl and away from the building and away from the situation.
Almost ironically, rain started falling from the sky. As it poured, Masayuki noted the road he usually turned right at to get back to his apartment. He turned left.
The brunette's mind was spinning. It was absolute chaos. He couldn't stop wondering where or where did he go wrong? He was kind enough, wasn't he? He wasn't violent- the female seemed to suck out all of his irritability out of him. He made sure to remind her how he felt about her and to treat her as wonderfully as possible. So what had happened?
Maybe if he didn't take that job at the library. Or maybe if he focused on audio rather than lighting. Maybe he was too short. Maybe she didn't actually like his hair wax. He should've spent more time with her. When did she realize she didn't like him anymore? When did she decide to break up? Was he not paying enough attention to her? Could he have noticed when she stopped wanting him?
He wasn't crying he absolutely wasn't crying. The salty water that somehow made it's way into his mouth was probably just the rain. That's definitely it.
God, Masayuki, you are so so so so stupid, is all he could manage to process in his brain.
Eventually, he got tired of running. It'd been about ten minutes. He's breathing hard and he's in an unfamiliar place and he's soaking wet and it's starting to get cold. He had a job the next morning, and it's not like he can get sick.
Masayuki slowly made his way to find shelter. Nearby, he saw a coffee shop with a relatively nice ambiance. He glanced at his watch. 21:30. It should still be open.
As he started to make a motion to open the door, it seemed to pull itself backward and he almost collided with a warm cashmere sweater.
"Oops, sorry, were you about to make your way in?"
At the voice, the male's hand twitches. He slowly glances up as the only thought he can hear is the mantra, 'oh god not this not right now this cannot be happening why is this happening'.
Brown eyes meet bright vibrant green, and his breath catches in his throat.
"Kashima…" he manages to whisper, barely heard over the rain pouring around them.
Masayuki tries to push past her, pretending that moment never happened and pretending he never noticed her. However, Yuu stays in place, and he ends up knocking over the cup in her hand.
They both flinch as it falls and as the hot drink stains her shirt. However, the tall girl seems to ignore this and her pale hands are instantly on his shoulders and she's leveling herself with him.
"Senpai? Oh my god, Senpai, are you alright? You look exhausted, what happened?"
As the handsome female shakes him by his shoulders, Masayuki can almost feel tears well up. She's almost exactly as he remembers her. Loud, tall, and as amazingly stunning as ever. Stupidly ignoring the fact it's only been a minute since they ran into each other and he physically hurt her again (he's absentmindedly patting down the coffee stain, pretending not to hear the concern in her voice). It had been a full year and a half since he had last saw her, and the blurry memory he had been remembering that morning was renewed, but this time he didn't want to forget how her face curved or how her eyelashes clumped together or how deep green her eyes are.
With the male's lack of reply, Yuu understood there was definitely something wrong with him, and promptly calls a taxi over. She insisted on taking him to her place so he can dry off.
"Hori-senpai, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened?" the girl prompted again when they were safe inside the yellow car. Hori wiped his face with his sleeve- not that it did any good. His clothes were all wet too.
"I just…" the older boy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. What excuse could he come up with? He was running and when it started raining he panicked and got lost? He's meeting up a friend and they gave him the wrong address? He's training for a new play and wants to know what absolutely cold and wet and miserable feels like?
"I don't want to talk about it now," he mumbled, feeling the eyes of the driver glance back at the two of them. The tall girl nodded in understanding, and they stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.
Yuu insisted on paying the taxi man. The brunette had thought of arguing with her about it, but it was still raining outside and he was starting to get cold again. She quickly rushed him inside, up all the stairs to her rather large apartment complex.
"We have to get you dry!" she cried, throwing a large blue towel at him before running to the bathroom. "I'll draw the bath! Please remove your clothes and start to towel down! My room is down this hall, first room on the right."
Masayuki watched her rush out down the hall before he looked around for some sort of guest room. She didn't actually expect him to undress in the middle of the foyer, did she?
The first room he wandered into was obviously her own. The bed sheets were a mess and there were combs and hair products all along her dresser. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he stripped of his soaking wet shirt. Despite how small the room was, it was comforting.
Her presence was comforting.
Yuu walked in from behind him while announcing, "Okay! The bath is all set!" She rummaged through her dressers before picking out a shirt and some loose shorts. "Here, take these to change into."
"Oh… Thanks."
The taller girl then guided him to the bathroom herself.
"Senpai… I know you said you didn't want to talk about it though but… Are you really okay?" she asked after he simply stood there staring at the loaned clothes in his hands.
Masayuki stayed silent for a moment.
"I was dumped," he muttered, and then proceeded to shut the door in her face.
When he reemerged from the bathroom, now fully warm and clean, the first thing he noticed was how quiet it was.
Masayuki sighed and shook his hair out- even if he expect Yuu to be waiting outside the door and start to bombard him with questions, it was their first meeting in a full year, so why would she?
He started to wander and found himself in her kitchen where she was setting the table.
"Oh! You're done already! You know, if you wanted to soak a little longer, I wouldn't have minded," she smiled, " But it's a good thing you're here! Now the food won't get cold."
Masayuki stared at the food she placed before him. It was strange. Did she not hear him before he closed the bathroom door?
"Ah… You know, I'm not really hungry… I appreciate the offer and stuff, but I really should get going…" he tried to decline. Yuu crossed her arms.
"It's still raining outside, Hori-senpai. All you're going to do is just get wet and sick again."
"I wouldn't want to impose, and I'm seriously not in the mood to eat right now."
"Since when are you stubborn about eating?" Yuu asked before continuing, "You know, I remember you treating me to dinner a few times back in high school. You told me if I didn't eat I couldn't perform well. Just take this as a way to pay you back for all those times." Masayuki rubbed his neck and before he could reply, the girl scolded, "You're gonna have to eat if you want to grow taller!"
"Oi, who said anything about my height, Kashima," he growled. He sat down at the table. "Besides, my height doesn't even matter anymore. I've officially stopped growing."
Yuu was pleased to watch him say thanks before he ate. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself." She rested her head upon her palm. "You know, senpai, I was worried about you."
Masayuki paused. "Who said you needed to worry about me? I'm fine, Kashima." The boy took a few more bites. "And drop the senpai, we're no longer in the same club or the same school anymore, right?"
"Are you no longer into drama?" Yuu asked, surprised.
"Well… Not specifically the acting arts. I'm in my school's drama club, but I've started to move more into lighting… Anyway, we're not in the same field anymore, so there's no need for it, right?"
Yuu pouted. "Hori-chan, you're so weird… Not only did you almost cry when you saw me at the coffee shop, you acted stubborn about the meal, you didn't hit me after I mentioned your height, you're telling me not to worry about you, and now you're telling me you don't want to act anymore."
The boy snickered before reaching over to mess with her hair. "Me? Cry? Upon seeing you? As if, Kashima." He leaned back. "It's not that I don't want to act, I've just gathered a new interest, that's all… I guess I've changed."
"Not that change isn't bad though," she instantly followed up.
At his quizzing look, she cheekily grinned and ate her own food.
(A/N): Thank you for reading!
Should I be starting a new series? No. Am I going to? Sadly, yes.
This series will be on both FF and AO3! I'll also be uploading it onto my sideblog on tumblr: horisexual. Please check it out!
I've been working on this draft since forever and it didn't even reach the end of the planned outline lol… I reread it again after like a full month and my tenses were all over place… it gave me such a headache…
Anyway now to work on Roommates !
I hope you enjoyed reading. If you have any feedback or criticism, I would appreciate it!
