Silent Reception
SheriLovingLecter
M rated for a reason, I have warned you. This is a one-shot to help me get back into the swing of writing Hannibal after I've been writing other things for the last year.
Every night it happened, though she was never completely certain it was him; but who needed certainty when she could feel his presence on the other end of the phone? It started exactly a year after the night at the Chesapeake; she remembered the moment so clearly.
A high pitched trill rang through the previously peaceful air of her home, she had just hopped out of the shower, a towel her only cover as she dived for the phone. She wasn't sure why she didn't let it ring through to the answer machine, for some reason she knew she had to answer.
"Starling." It was her customary answer, why begin with 'Hello?' when most people who called her were rarely bothered for pleasantries?
Nothing but the quiet hum of the connected phone line answered her, she pulled her face away from the screen of the receiver; checking that the numbers were still counting the time she had been on the phone; signalling that the other person was still connected.
She frowned before balancing the receiver between a raised shoulder and a tilted head as she ran a small towel through the ends of her hair.
"Hello?..." She asked again, annoyance stirring within her as she gritted her teeth and made a move to hang up the phone. That was when she heard it.
One shuddering breath, and she was immediately sat before Hannibal Lecter in her mind's eye, he had just drank the wine she had asked for but did not want. He was looking at her with such intensity; he released a shuddering breath; a rare moment of uncontrolled emotion as he asked her.
"Given the chance, you would deny me my life wouldn't you?"
She blinked and swallowed reflexively as the static from the open phone line crackled somewhat. She whispered what she had hoped would sound strong.
"Dr Lecter?"
Nothing. No reply, no breath, nothing to signal anyone was on the other end of the phone; yet she didn't hang up.
Clarice smiled unknowingly as she thought of that evening, she had remained on the phone; waiting for any sign. At first she had asked questions, the usual 'Where are you Doctor' followed by silence. She couldn't fathom why he wasn't speaking, she still to this day had doubts as to his identity; but she clung to that shuddered breath with something like misplaced hope.
She had spent the whole evening on the phone to no one, sighing in irritation as she looked at the timer on her phone, it read 3 hours 46 minutes 18 seconds by the time she got into bed; she had thought herself officially mad, staying on the phone to no one for nearly 4 hours. Chances were someone rolled on their phone by accident and she was listening to them sleeping soundly, imagining it to be him like a complete maniac. Throughout the entire evening she had told 'him' to hang up, saying that there was very little point to calling someone and then not talking to them.
And yet every evening she waited, wondering if perhaps 'he' would say something.
If it truly was Dr Lecter on the other end of the phone, she fell asleep to him listening to her soft breathing every evening and woke up to the disconnected phone line and the buttons of the phone digging into her face each morning.
She had wondered for a moment if she snored, then wrinkled her nose in distaste at the shallow tone of her thoughts. So what if she did? It was his own fault for not speaking or hanging up when she fell asleep, let him listen to her snore.
Clarice sighed as she wondered what he would do if she didn't answer, she went through this mantra every evening; "I will not pick up the phone, I will not pick up the phone." Yet, every evening as the familiar trill rang through her house; she jumped up to answer it, not even letting it get to its third ring.
She had tried a spell of silence once, not talking as he did so easily; yet nothing changed, the call still remained connected until she had fallen asleep; only the occasional noise to be heard over the static indicating someone's presence. She was never sure whether to be 'freaked out' or flattered. She had inevitably gone back to talking, after all if someone was going to listen to her talk shit; she should take advantage of it, right?
Her head snapped up as the phone rang again; at exactly 8pm, she took a deep breath as she picked it up; answering it differently to usual. Tonight she was going to try and provoke a reaction from him; tonight she wasn't going to sleep without some indication that it was Hannibal Lecter on the other side of her phone line.
"Hello, Dr Lecter."
She heard nothing but something was different, she didn't know how to explain it other than she sensed a subtle shift on the other side of the phone.
"I would ask how you were if I thought you would answer me."
"..."
"Well I would guess you are doing well, I suppose the only way I know is the regularity with which you call me."
"..."
"You know Doctor; I sure would appreciate some sign that I'm not talking to some madma- ... Oh."
"..."
"Forget I said that."
Clarice sighed at the all too familiar silence as she sat curled in her armchair, imagining him in some distant country merely listening to her.
"I don't know what you get out of this you know, other than a ridiculous phone bill."
She bit her lip as she frowned.
"If... If I could be sure it was you... I would... Oh hell I don't know."
"..."
"I... I hope your hand is alright."
There it was again! That slight shift, it wasn't her imagination at all, but it wasn't in the phone line; it was fabric. She could hear the rustle of fabric.
"I can hear you, you know."
It stopped.
"Of course you know, it's your way of telling me it is you isn't it Doctor Lecter?"
"..."
"You know it is rather sad that my evenings have come to consist of trying to get a response from my phantom phone caller."
"..."
"You also know I won't ever be fully sure it's you until I hear your voice, don't you?"
"..."
"Well, they do say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, perhaps I have gone mad."
Another shift on the other side of the phone, Clarice smiled.
"You find me questioning my sanity amusing I suppose, hell; I find it amusing."
She sighed and stood, glancing at the clock again before heading upstairs.
"I think I'm going to go to bed early Doctor Lecter, are you going to hang up or continue to hold the line and listen to me snore?"
"..."
"Has this become some sort of hobby for you? I don't imagine your usual amusements are accessible at the moment."
"..."
"You are singularly the most irritating man I've ever met."
"..."
"Well, maybe not the most irritating; but certainly the only one who has ever managed to irritate me like this."
"..."
"What has my life come to, talking to no one in an empty house with only my gun for company."
"..."
"You know I almost want to hear you say 'I told you so'..."
A terrifying thought hit her and it almost took her breath away.
"You are alright aren't you? You aren't not speaking to me because you can't are you?"
"..."
"Doctor Lecter?"
"..."
Panic started setting in and seeping through her like ice water.
"Please let me know you are alright, why won't you DAMN WELL TALK TO ME?"
She let her head fall into her hands her, breathing laboured as she tried to calm down, biting her lip to stop the frustrated tears from flowing. He had never seen or heard her cry; she wasn't about to let him either.
"If you are doing this to torture me, it's working."
"..."
"Well I won't be part of your games, I'm done. Find a new toy Doctor Lecter, goodnight."
She had hung up. A deep release of breath left her as she realised she had hung up on him, on whoever it was; for the first time since the calls started. Then she frowned, what if he really wasn't able to talk to her? What if she was right and he couldn't?
She looked at the phone warily, suddenly regretting her moment of rash action. So much so that the phone didn't get through its first right this time before she picked it up.
"I'm sorry..."
"..." She could almost hear him in her head 'Have you finished your temper tantrum Agent Starling, or would you like a few more moments on the naughty step?"
She sighed and rubbed her temples. "I'm not used to you not talking to me..."
Again she heard the minute shuffle at the other end of the phone.
"I do hope you are alright..."
"..."
"Which I suppose you think is perfect irony considering the harm I have caused you."
"..."
"I am sorry for what happened at the Chesapeake that night, I never expected you to... To do what you did.
"..."
"I hope you managed to get it fixed, I can't imagine you without both hands."
Something in her head whispered to her 'Why are you imagining his hands Clarice?'
She groaned in self pity and irritation, laying her head back against a pillow.
"You told me once it 'pleases' you to watch me talk to you, I don't quite know where you are but I wonder if it would still please you to watch me talk to you now. I've often wondered how close you were, how much or how little you watched me. The truth is Doctor Lecter I fear I have gone from thinking of you for at least 30 seconds of everyday; to thinking about little else for at least 30 seconds."
She bit her lip and shut her eyes as she whispered down the receiver.
"Would you do something for me Doctor Lecter? If you won't speak to me, would you tap the phone three times?"
"..."
Her heat settled in her stomach as she gulped.
"Please Doctor Lecter, please."
Nothing, she heard nothing; she sighed, not being able to help the small sniff as she pulled the blankets around her, not saying another word as she shut her eyes and continued to hold the receiver. As usual she soon began to fall into sleep, the sound of the open phone line her ironic lullaby as she let out a sigh.
"... Tap... Tap... Tap"
Her eyes shot open as the click and low beep signalled the line disconnected, still she called his name down the phone; her heart pounding. When she spoke it was aloud and to no one but her and her empty bedroom.
"It is him..."
-o-
She'd been watching the clock all evening trying to get rid of him, he wasn't having it and insisted on 'spending the evening taking care of her', not that she needed her ex boss to take care of her when it was mostly his fault she was this fucked up in the first place.
Her heart stopped at the first ring, then picked up as she heard him shout from the lounge "I'll get it Clarice!"
She had jumped up from her place at the table where she had been pressing her forehead against the cool of her glass.
"No, don't worry Mr Crawford I can get I-"
"Hello, Clarice's phone?"
She stopped dead in the doorway as she watched him frown.
"Hello?"
She moved forward "Mr Crawford, I know who it is, don't worry, go and finish your drink."
She took the phone from him and moved into the kitchen, shutting the door behind her.
"Hello..."
She thought perhaps he might speak to her having heard that Crawford was in her home, but he didn't. She sighed and looked at the clock.
"I'm sorry but I don't think Mr Crawford is going anywhere, I've been trying to get rid of him for the best part of an hour..."
The line rang dead as he hung up; Clarice fought back the sudden overwhelming urge to cry. He never hung up...
Oh good god what was she, some love sick teen? She flinched as her inner self gained a high pitched girly voice 'You hang up.' 'No YOU hang up.'
She shook her head and moved into the lounge to suffer an evening of Jack Crawford and 'Die Hard'.
-o-
He hadn't called, it had been a whole week and he hadn't called. First she had been worried, then angry, then confused, then angry again. Now she was living in complete nonchalance, she refused to admit she'd moved the second phone into her bedroom so that she could pick it up should he change the time he called her.
She didn't know why she clung to his call so much, she had gone so long without anyone to listen to her and now she had found someone who only listened and had lost them; the silence was deafening.
She had gone back to her previous way of life, if you could call it that; her eyes still flickered to the phone every evening at 8. Then at 8.02, then 8.05... You get the point.
Until one evening she put it from her mind, deciding to have an evening to indulge for once. She had ran a hot bath and soaked for 30 minutes; a luxury for her compared to her usual quick necessary showers. When she had got out she'd decided on just an old t-shirt before burrowing into the warmth of her sheets, a content feeling spreading through her as she relaxed.
Though 10 minutes later she was starting to wonder if relaxing was such a good idea after all, because when she relaxed she was no longer stressed, and when she wasn't stressed the more... Demanding side of her libido surfaced to make itself known.
She shrugged to herself, why not? It had been a long time since she had been in the mood to... Well, yes. Closing her eyes Clarice shut the 'agent' part of herself away, as she always had to in such moments; she couldn't have her inner voice ruining the moment for her.
Biting her lip Clarice let her hand glide under her shirt and over the smooth expanse of her tummy, travelling downward whilst she created a scene in her head. It would always be him, there was nothing she could do to change that and had realised many years ago; she remembered the first time she had climaxed moaning the title of the most famous cannibalistic serial killer alive. She had been thoroughly ashamed of herself, but she had learnt to live with it; after all he was the best she'd ever had... Metaphorically.
A soft moan left her as she envisioned his large hands moving in place of hers, stroking gently through her curls before parting her and caressing surely, purposefully. Clarice arched to her own hand, her other busy at her breasts as she teased her own nipples, all the while thinking of that kiss, the way his strong body had felt against her, his smell...
A loud ring snapped her eyes open and to the side table, where they then narrowed as she withdrew her hands.
She sat up feeling breathy and picked up the receiver.
"Brilliant timing, Dr Lecter." She said, still breathing heavily. She heard movement on the other end of the phone and shut her eyes at the indecent images assaulting her lust addled mind.
"I'm sorry Dr Lecter but I was in the middle of something."
"..."
"Something I would very much like to continue..."
"..."
"Goodnight Dr Lecter."
She ended the call and placed the phone back on the side, sighing as she shifted; preparing to continue. The phone had barely hit the side before it rang out again; she swore and picked up the phone.
"What?" She didn't bother to hide the annoyance in her tone.
"..."
She hung up again, eyeing the phone as she waited in anticipation, as expected it rang again.
"You can really be an annoying s.o.b you know that? The ONE time I actually... Wait."
She frowned as she thought.
"You know don't you..."
She heard movement again, the sound of something being placed down on a table.
Clarice swallowed as lust spiked in her stomach again, smirking she cleared her throat.
"Like I said, goodnight Dr Lecter."
Again she hung up, watching the phone in her hand with excitement and uncertainty. Would he persist?
Of course he would.
"Anyone would think you WANT me to ... Whilst I'm on the pho- ... Oh you dirty son of a-"
She nearly dropped the phone as he cleared his throat; he'd made a noise... He'd communicated with her using his voice, admittedly not the way she had wanted, but she knew it was him.
She sat there stunned for a moment not knowing what to do as her heart raced, she whispered down the phone.
"I can't..."
She almost heard him in her head. 'Oh come now Clarice, what is a bit of masturbation over the phone among friends?'
She laughed to herself shaking her head.
"If you would just talk to me..."
She heard a tap against the phone, like a drum of fingers against the mouthpiece. She was momentarily breathless.
"Two taps for yes, one for no, are you angry with me?" She asked.
" Tap."
"No... Then why won't you talk to me... Do you want to talk to me?"
"Tap, tap."
She frowned "Are you physically able to talk to me?"
"Tap, tap."
"So you are choosing not to."
"Tap, tap."
Now it was her turn to be silent, her heart constricting as he as good as told her he didn't want to talk to her.
"Oh..."
"..."
"Are you calling me because you want to?"
"Tap, tap."
"Because it pleases you?"
"Tap, tap."
"Are you not talking to me because I've displeased you?"
"Tap."
"Because I don't deserve it?"
"Tap."
"Because... Because you've always spoken to me before?"
"Tap, tap."
"Because now without you speaking to me, I can resolve my own problems without feeling reliant on, or like I can blame you. For all you are simply doing is being here."
"Tap, tap."
Again she heard his voice in her head 'Clever girl, Clarice.'
"Must we do this now, I was... Doing something."
"Tap, tap."
She sighed. "Yes, of course we must do it now." She mumbled to herself.
"I bet it kills you sitting there in silence when you probably have so many clever quips just waiting to burst out."
"Tap, tap."
She laughed at him, smiling as she shook her head.
"Ok then, I'll say it. You know me better than I even know myself, and I hated it for a long time. Hated what you made me feel, hated that it was you I measured any man against and they always came up short. Hated it was you that I thought about when I..."
"Tap, tap." He wanted her to say it, aloud to herself and him. She took a shaking breath and shut her eyes.
"That I thought about you whilst trying to reach sexual climax."
Silence for a moment, and then a sigh. Her eyes widened as she swallowed.
"Are you going to talk to me yet?"
"Tap."
"Why not...?"
She realised it was a stupid question, one he couldn't answer with tapping the phone. She could almost see him rolling his eyes.
She cleared her throat and took a steadying breath; it was all or nothing now. He was all she had left to lose; it was time for her to be more forthright.
"Do you like that I think about you in that way?"
Silence for a moment, she had surprised him.
"Tap, tap."
She smiled.
"It pleases you?"
"Tap."
She frowned before remembering what he had said previously.
"It excites you?"
"Tap, tap."
She exhaled a shuddering breath as she shifted, shutting her eyes as arousal coursed through her, what was she doing?
"You know that it excites me to know you're listening?"
"Tap, tap."
"Have you ever imagined me-" She took a deep breath to repeat his words from many years ago. "Have you ever imagined scenarios, exchanges..."
She heard him take a breath in anticipation of what she was going to say, she smiled as she said it, listening for his reaction.
"Fucking me?"
She heard a noise, like a soft cough. The line crackled as a puff of breath was expelled over the receiver at his end.
"Tap, tap."
She couldn't stop the soft moan that left her if she wanted to, her breathing quickened.
"You know, phone sex is supposed to be a two way thing, or so I was led to believe."
She heard him chuckle and she smiled, knowing he was getting closer to speaking to her with each sound he made.
"Well then, perhaps I should curl up and go to sleep like a good girl, don't you think?"
She waited, wondering if he would take the very obvious bait hanging before him.
"Tap."
"No? What else am I supposed to do at such an hour, unless I was right in my assumption that you want to listen to what I was doing?"
Another puff of breath against the receiver, she licked her lips.
"Tap, tap."
"I was right? What makes you think that I would do that over the phone to you Dr Lecter?"
The voice in her head whispered to her 'Because you want to Clarice.'
Her hand moved downward, stroking her outer lips softly, biting her lip as she closed her eyes and listened for any noise he might make. She gasped as she brushed over her clitoris, speaking to him in a breathy moan.
"You know I'm touching myself?"
"Tap, tap."
"Do you want to touch me?"
"... Tap, tap."
She whimpered and raised her hips, hearing him let out another breath, one that sounded suspiciously like a moan.
"Are you excited right now Dr Lecter?"
"Tap, tap."
She swallowed and inserted a finger inside herself, moaning as she curled and hit the soft wall and her sweet spot.
"Are you touching yourself?"
"... Tap, tap."
"Oh my God..."
Another finger and she began pumping, using the heel of her hand to grind against her clitoris, she could feel the fire burning and spreading within her, biting her lip as she heard him clearly breathing heavily on the other side of the phone.
"Doctor Lecter... Hannibal."
She heard him take a deep breath and hiss, sending a pulse through her as she imagined him stroking himself, she licked her lips as she moaned low; she was almost there, if he would just...
"Come for me, Clarice." He drew her name out perfectly, as he always did. His low metallic tone making her drop the phone as she came hard; just as he had told her to; loudly calling out his name. When the stars receded from her vision she warily felt around for the phone, swallowing as she found and picked it up to see only the time and date... The line had been disconnected.
Clarice threw her head back and shut her eyes, swallowing her laughter as she shook her head. Falling asleep as she imagined him in some warm country, an extravagant hotel room, his hand stroking his hard length as he heard her come; that night she fell asleep with a smile on her face and her phone held tightly in her hand.
Unbeknownst to her maroon eyes watched from the house opposite, she really should be more careful about closing her curtains. He smirked as he raised his left hand to his mouth, tracing his lower lip as he let out another shuddered breath. She was ready. His right hand placed the phone back on its hook, he stroked the unremarkable receiver with something akin to fondness as he stood and glanced out the window once more. He wondered how receptive she would be to waking up with him next to her...
So, let me know what you think. I've had this in my head completely jumbled up for a LONG time, so I thought it was time to write it all down. Drop me a review and let me know what you think. It is so good to be back to Lecterphilia ha-ha.