DISCLAIMER: I do not own InuYasha or Yu Yu Hakusho
A/N: Hey, I'm finally back. Jeez, that took forever but life happens and there's really nothing you can do about some things. But, to reiterate, I am PoisonGurl and I used to be SadBrokenWings so all the stories that I'll be posting here will be rewritten versions of my older stories. And then I'll add some new ones. Hope you all enjoy them!
Originally this was a one-shot, my very first, now it's been rewritten and expanded into a two-shot.
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Summary: Keiko left Yusuke, and the heartbroken Detective rescues the woman who turns out to be exactly what he was looking for. Kagome/Yusuke
oOo
Yusuke had thought he had known pain. But what he was feeling now, after he had seen Keiko for the last time late last night, felt like he was dying inside. Okay, maybe that was a little over-dramatic, it wasn't like Keiko had died last night, all she did was completely shatter his heart. After a particularly gruesome battle that Keiko had somehow gotten mixed up in, she pulled Yusuke aside and ruthlessly tore his heart out.
"I can't do this anymore Yusuke, what if we had kids? I just can't let them live their lives in danger all the time, we can't do it. I need a normal life, where I can raise my kids without worrying about them being attacked, and you can't give me that. I'm so sorry!"
That moment played over and over again in Yusuke's mind, the anguished look on Keiko's face just before she ran down the street and back home. He knew that it was true, what she had said, his children would never be safe and he would always be protecting them. But he thought she understood, he would always protect them dammit! She had every right to want to leave, it was slightly surprising that she had stuck with him for so long, but he thought that...that she loved him. He loved her, even now, despite her outburst.
And now, walking down a deserted street in the very beginnings of what seemed like a horrible rainstorm, Yusuke cried. He didn't bawl or make any sounds that would lead to the conclusion that he was crying, even if you looked at his face you wouldn't be able to tell because of the rain. All the pent-up emotion was driving him insane and he slammed his fist into the nearest building repeatedly, letting out one choked sob that was filled with anguish. He fell to his knees and bowed his head, tears falling to the sidewalk as thunder sounded from above.
To be rejected by someone he had loved, a friend he had had for so long and a lover he would have made his wife, it hurt. His mother loved him, but she didn't really know the truth, which he couldn't possibly explain to her and now he didn't want to ever risk that. The one person who knew, the one person he loved with all her faults and quirks, the one he had chosen: she hadn't loved him in return. And, with every beat of his heart, he felt the pain that came from being told you weren't good enough and that you weren't meant to have what you so desperately wanted. He wanted a family, he had even thought about what his kids would be like, he had wanted…her.
He didn't know quite how long he stayed like that before he heard a chilling scream that sent shivers up and down his spine. It was close, only a block or two away if he judged it correctly. Glad to have something that distracted him from his emotional torment, Yusuke sprung up and ran in the direction that he had heard the scream.
oOo
Kagome ran, pushing her body to its limits, slipping and sliding in the rain as she tried to escape the rather large demon that was chasing her. It had been this way ever since she came home from the Feudal Era, she was constantly being hounded by demons that were after the Shikon no Tama. It was so much pressure to defend herself and her family that Kagome had moved out of the shrine and into a small, shabby apartment downtown. She called her family often to make sure that everyone was okay, being constantly reminded that they missed her. Of course she missed them too but she just couldn't go back and endanger their lives, she had already ruined the lives of her friends in the Feudal Era, she didn't want to do the same to everyone else. She thought almost daily about the loss of her friends and the choice InuYasha made that had broken her heart.
Had she not suffered the trials of fixing the Shikon and fighting Naraku, Kagome would have never met her friends or fallen in love for the first time. And she wouldn't have traded that experience for the world. Of course, because she now carried the Shikon within herself, she would never truly be free of her ongoing battle for balance. That posed a problem and now Kagome did not get close to just anyone, leaving all her old friends in the dust as she lived for fighting and not much more.
She found it took a lot of effort to avoid people, her soul thrived on the interaction with others, but she was dangerous to be around. She knew it. So she found herself adopting traits from InuYasha and even Sesshomaru, keeping her outward personality off-putting was so hard but worth it when she reminded herself how many lives she had saved just by being alone. It didn't change who she was on the inside though; she was still the soft, sweet, and caring person she had always been.
She had considered leaving the world of the living and found herself held back by the Shikon's reluctance to give her up. She had been so destroyed by the loss of her friends, especially little Shippo, that all she had wanted to do was join them. But her few attempts proved fruitless, all they left her was scarred. So nothing was left except to defeat all the demons that came after her and to hone her skills as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama. Which is where she was now.
Because she had gotten caught up in her thoughts, Kagome did not see where she was going until it was too late and she found herself cornered in a rather rank-smelling alley. The rain didn't help much with the smell…can you say "Eww!" Of all the times to forget her weapons Kagome found this to be the worst time and she had to work with what she had around her. There was a dumpster (not useful), a couple garbage bags (also not useful) and a small pipe connected to a building used for Gods only know what.
Deciding that she would rather use the pipe than take her chances with the demon weaponless, Kagome used all the strength she could muster and let out a scream as she yanked it away from the wall and rammed it into the demon's stomach. She tried to pull it back out but found it stuck and was, once again, left defenseless. Before she could process a new plan she was snatched up by the huge demon and she felt its long claws digging painfully into her side.
She watched, in some sort of trance-like fascination, as her blood ran down the knuckles of the demon and dripped to the ground below. Strange, there seemed to be more of it than she thought her small body could hold. While her mind went numb she was still slightly aware of what happened around her, especially when a bright light came flying toward her out of nowhere.
It went past her and straight into the chest of the demon, sending her flying back to the ground to land right smack on her back. She sat up, wincing at the pain that radiated throughout her body and glared in the direction that the ball of light had come from. There, in the mouth of the alley, stood a silhouette of a guy looking completely laid-back. She couldn't tell his age just by looking at him, but he was built quite nicely and had an air of a punkish attitude the radiated off of him. Kagome also caught something else; demon blood flowed through his veins, though he seemed to be entirely human.
She stood up and strode over to the demon that attacked her, completely forgetting her injuries for the moment, and put her hand to its twitching body and purified it into ash. As she did so, Kagome said a small prayer for his soul before turning around and storming toward the young man that had helped her out. If you call nearly killing her "helping her out." Well, not that she could die, but that was beside the point.
"What the Hell did you think you were doing, I could have handled that on my own!" Kagome shouted, knowing that it was a lie but still upset. Partially because she had been in such a vulnerable position, but also because she had appearances to keep up and didn't want him to make this a habit of his.
"Holy shit, chick! I just saved your life!" Yusuke shouted back, confused and angry at the same time. He was not expecting that kind of reaction from her, that's for sure.
Kagome took a step toward him and, in an almost growling tone, stated, "I didn't need your help; I could have easily taken care of it!"
"Then why did I hear you scream from two blocks away? And what the Hell did you do to that demon?" Yusuke demanded, now getting up in her face.
Kagome hesitated a bit, "Nothing that you need to concern yourself with. Now leave me alone before I do the same to you!" She shouted before giving him a rather rough shove on the shoulder and storming past him.
Yusuke watched her leave from his position against the alley wall, a little shocked that the girl he had just saved had yelled at him for it. She was definitely something different, but what did that matter, he was probably never going to see her again. In some ways she reminded him of Keiko, her "constant PMS" attitude with him whenever he would fight. But this girl was angry that he had jumped in on her fight, whereas Keiko would have been angry because he could have gotten hurt.
He shook his head and left the alley, taking his mind off of Keiko with thoughts of the strange girl he had just encountered. She obviously knew about demons, she had done something to the demon earlier, leaving no trace of it. Yusuke wondered if he should inform Koenma of the weird girl with the even weirder powers. She didn't look to be a demon, but Hell if he knew; he couldn't sense the difference between a demon and a regular human that was Kuwabara's and Hiei's job. Yusuke dragged a hand through his hair in frustration and pushed himself away from the building he had been leaning on, intent on following the girl and questioning her some more.
It didn't take him long to find her, her injuries were terrible and she had lost a lot of blood. She was lying, barely conscious, in the middle of the deserted street not 10 yards from the alley. Yusuke cursed and jogged over to her, not at all happy about the way his night was turning out.
"Damn girl, if I wasn't such a nice guy I would leave you here on your own. You're more trouble than Koenma's worth, though that's not sayin' much." Yusuke muttered as he easily picked Kagome's bleeding form up and carried her back to his apartment, no longer thinking about Keiko.
oOo
When Kagome woke up she found herself in a very comfortable bed that smelled quite nice. She snuggled her face into the pillow and breathed deep, taking in the musky scent that seemed vaguely familiar. At first she was content but then realized that she didn't remember her bedroom smelling quite like this and she also didn't remember ever getting home. She sat up quickly, causing herself to get a major head rush and she fell back down on the bed.
Muttering curses, Kagome slowly forced herself up, ignoring the pain that seemed to be everywhere in her body. The room was dark and she looked around for something she would find familiar but was disappointed by her lack of results. Before she started panicking, Kagome took a few deep breaths, noting the rain that she heard hitting the window off to her left and the voices she heard, presumably from the next room. Silently she crept from the bed and toward the direction the voices came from, and gently turned the knob on the door.
She eased it open just a crack and listened in to what the voices were talking about, keeping her aura and scent masked just in case.
"Damn, I already told the toddler, I don't know what the hell she did. One minute the demon was layin' there and the next minute he was dust." Yusuke all but shouted at his teammates, getting frustrated with their persistence that he repeat the story.
Kurama flipped a bit of his red hair behind his shoulder as he readjusted his position in a rather uncomfortable chair before speaking, "Is it possible that the girl you are talking about is a priestess?"
Yusuke sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "Huh? Well, she might be but I thought they were all basically powerless now. Besides, wouldn't the toddler have already had us after her if she had a lot of power?"
Kuwabara took that moment to add his two-cents into the conversation, "I can't believe you let a girl get hurt, Urameshi! You are supposed to protect girls, they need defending!"
Kagome, tired of listening to this inane conversation, took the opportunity to make her presence known, "I know plenty of boys who needed to be protected more than I ever have so excuse me if I take offense to your statement. Chauvinist pig."
A full minute passed, the guys were all staring at her in silence as she was staring at them. Eventually the stress of getting up so soon after being injured got to Kagome and she started to sink to the ground. Kurama, being the swift demon that he is, caught her before she hit the floor and carried her to the couch. She was still conscious but her body was exhausted.
"Now, what is going on and who are all of you? Wait a second," Kagome said before anyone could respond, "I recognize you." She was staring at Yusuke.
"Keh, so what?" Yusuke oh-so-smartly replied.
"You nearly killed me when you barged in on my fight!" She exclaimed angrily, almost lunging at him, but Kurama had a steady arm around her shoulders to prevent her from doing so.
Yusuke got angry, "I heard you scream and came to help, Gods, I should have let you die!"
Kuwabara was appalled, "Urameshi, but she's a girl!" No one seemed to pay attention to the hybrid who sat on the windowsill, eyes dancing with amusement.
Kagome turned her anger toward the unattractive guy with a glare that caused him to faint on the spot. Satisfied with the effect she had on the guy, Kagome turned her glare back toward Yusuke, and the two had a staring contest of sorts. Kurama, feeling rather dissatisfied with the current situation, cleared his throat loudly, catching the attention of Kagome and Yusuke. The attention he received, however, wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. Now the temperamental duo was glaring at him!
He sighed and spoke, "If you two are finished with your childish games I believe we should continue our earlier conversation. Is that alright with you Miss…"
"Cinammon, that's my name!" Kuwabara said in a high-pitched voice while he was still unconscious.
They all stared at him, dazed by the outburst, but Kagome shook it off quickly and gave Kurama her name, "Kagome Higurashi."
"Ah, Miss Higurashi, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you would so kindly inform us as to what happened with the demon you and our friend Yusuke encountered we would be most grateful." Kurama said, laying on some of his charm.
Kagome quickly pushed herself out of Kurama's arms and sat on the opposite end of the couch, making sure that he wasn't touching her anymore. Kurama and Yusuke thought she was insane while Hiei thought it was amusing that she ran from the fox's appeal.
"Oh no, don't you try that with me!" Kagome said in an accusing tone to Kurama before her features became more angry and less paranoid as she spoke again, "I'll tell you what happened, that dumbass over there tried to barge in on my fight!"
"I saved your life, what the hell is wrong with that?" Yusuke fired back, "If I hadn't come when you screamed you would be dead right now!"
"I could have handled it!" Kagome seethed, angry that he was more or less right.
"As if! You were bleeding all over the place!" Yusuke's statement caused Kagome to pause for a second. She had been bleeding, but why wasn't she now? That was when she noticed the tight feel of bandages wrapped around her torso and the pull of what she supposed were stitches, every time she moved.
"Who fixed me up?" Kagome asked, slipping easily from her dramatic anger into a rather neutral emotive state.
"I did." Kurama answered.
Kagome nodded in his direction, "I appreciate it."
"You thank him for bandaging you up but do I get a thank you for saving your life or bringing you here so Kurama could fix you up in the first place? Nooooooo…" He was on his feet now, obviously upset. He was letting his feelings about Keiko mix with the current situation.
Kagome could tell that something was up and reined in her temper, "Okay okay, I'm sorry. Thanks for the help, I was just being a little difficult with you, but I'm really grateful."
Yusuke calmed down a bit, a little ashamed that he had let himself get so worked up. He sat back down in his chair and cast a sorrowful look her way before staring into nothingness, leaving a strange silence in the room.
"What's the matter Yusuke, did something else happen that you want to talk about?" Kurama questioned. He was looking to Hiei, hinting at him to take a peek in the Toushin's mind.
Hiei "hn"ed and complied, easily coming across a flicker of what seemed to be bothering the detective, but there was suddenly a mental barrier in his way. Outwardly he growled, puzzled by the barrier that he had encountered, noticing it wasn't the same type of energy that Yusuke gave off. The energy felt like…
"Woman, what do you think you are doing?" Hiei growled at Kagome, watching her blink all too innocently.
"Whatever are you talking about?" Kagome asked, letting a false mask of confusion fall over her face as she tilted her head to the side.
"You know what it is I speak of, give me an answer before I dig it out of you with my sword!" Hiei demanded coldly, glaring at her.
Kagome, after figuring out that Hiei was not one to be taken lightly and was also not stupid, dropped the façade and looked him straight in the eye with a look that could kill.
"I believe that he should be able to tell you what he wants you to know and not have you pry through his mind for any answer you wanted. You should wait until he's ready to talk about it and not invade his privacy like that!" Kagome responded, getting defensive even though she had no ties to the young man before her.
"Hn." Hiei gave her another cold glare before turning away and glaring out the window. Kagome gave a huff at his attitude and turned her head away, until she heard the chuckle of the fox next to her.
"And don't you start laughing; I know you were in on that." Kagome said in a motherly tone, very nearly wagging her finger at him. "Firecracker over there doesn't seem like the type to care so you must have persuaded him somehow." Hiei growled at the nickname.
Kurama was abashed that she had caught on and was modest enough to let a light blush stain his cheeks as he looked away. He had only been worried about his friend but Kagome was right, he should have waited until Yusuke was ready to talk about it.
"Hey!" Yusuke yelled, finally fed up with trying to catch their attention a nicer way, "What the Hell are you all talking about?"
Kagome snorted and answered, much like a tattling sister would, "That short fella over there decided that he was going to try and peek at your mind, but only after the fox talked him into it."
He went a little ashy but caught her phrasing and asked, "What do you mean by 'try and peek?'"
"I mean," Kagome said in an aggravated tone, "I blocked him from your mind. He had no right to see what you didn't want to share."
"So, does that mean you took a look?" Yusuke asked accusingly.
"Hell no, I don't care about your problems. I just don't like it when someone gets messed with without their consent, is all."
Yusuke wasn't sure if he could trust her but decided to give her a shot and grunted a thanks. Kurama, seeing that all the death glares and hatred toward one another had died, decided that now was as good as any time to discuss the demon.
Sadly, Botan took that time to pop in and shock them all of them out of their pants with her appearance. Kagome stared at her and Botan stared back, her mouth hanging slightly open as she rapidly blinked, believing that she was hallucinating. Once she realized that she wasn't seeing things, Botan snapped her jaw shut and bowed deeply to Kagome.
"Lady Kagome, I had no idea you were the girl Yusuke had summoned me about."
"Please don't call me Lady, I don't deserve it. Would you mind explaining who you are and what is going on?" Kagome eyes were hard and something behind them seemed to be cracking.
"Oh, forgive my rudeness M'Lady!" Botan chirped before introducing herself, "I am Botan, one of the deities of Death. The boys summoned me to bring them and a girl to Koenma's office. Am I right in assuming that you are the girl Yusuke saved?"
"Yes, though I hate to admit it. I should have paid more attention to the fight." She grudgingly acknowledged, wanting nothing more than to get away and disappear from the situation.
Botan nodded, understanding that she didn't want to talk about it and instead said, "Well, come on! Lord Koenma wants to talk to you guys. And I think he'd like to have a word with you as well, Lady."
Before Kagome could respond, Yusuke loudly demanded, "What the Hell are you calling this chick Lady for?"
Appalled by the way Yusuke was acting in the presence of such a well-known and respected individual, Botan smacked him over the head with her oar and shoved him through the portal. The guys followed, Kurama dragging Kuwabara as Hiei sped into the portal, leaving Botan looking at Kagome with such an expectant and innocent look that Kagome knew she would be going through that portal. Sighing and glancing down at her bloody and torn clothes, Kagome gave a snort, wondering why she would be concerned about how she looked just because she was going to see a Lord. As she stepped through the portal she felt the world spin and turn upside down and, before she got to the other side, she got her bearings and that allowed her to enter Koenma's office rather gracefully. That is, until she tripped over Kuwabara's still unconscious body.
WHAM! She landed right on her face to the amusement of her new 'friends' and found herself amused when the ferrygirl Botan smacked the fox and the detective upside their heads and glared at them. After she stood back up Kagome took in her surroundings and her eyes almost automatically landed on the toddler sitting at the desk. At first she thought it was cute but something told her she shouldn't approach it.
Once it started talking, however, she was torn between laughter and plain exhaustion from the absurdity of her situation this evening. She couldn't hold back her small burst of laughter in the end.
Koenma was glaring down at the girl that had dared to laugh at him and gestured for Botan to come closer so he could demand to know just who that girl was.
"That is the girl Yusuke saved, the one he called us about? She also just happens to be Lady Kagome, Lord Koenma sir. You know, the Guardian, Kagome Higurashi?" Botan answered perkily, happy to help any way she could.
Koenma gaped at Botan and then at Kagome, his pacifier dropping out of his mouth and landing on his desk with a small thud. He nearly wet himself. The Kagome Higurashi, The Guardian, was in his office.
"Hey, why are you staring at me like that?" Kagome demanded. It was unsettling, the way he was practically worshipping her with his eyes.
Koenma regained his composure and snatched up his pacifier before speaking, ignoring the Spirit Detectives in place of Kagome.
"Lady Kagome, forgive me for being so rude, I would personally like to welcome you to the Spirit World. I truly can't believe that you're here, if there is anything you desire I know my father would not hesitate to give it to you." Koenma said, still in awe of her presence.
"Oi! Toddler, can we get this stuff over with?" Yusuke said, frustrated at being ignored by the baby ruler.
"Huh?" Koenma looked up from Kagome and realization dawned on him, he had needed to speak to the detective group and get all the details from the incident this evening, "That's right, I need to get all the details from tonight from you, Yusuke. And whatever else the rest of you might have to add."
Botan, realizing that they were about to get down to business, turned toward Kagome, "M'Lady, would you mind coming with me down to the healers and I can answer any questions you might have."
Kagome fought the urge to return the girl's friendly smile and simply nodded. It would do good to get some information about this other world, and she had some questions about the demon population as well. She had been home for about a year now and was still a little baffled about the demons she sensed every now and again, they would disappear before she could get a lock on them. Botan was very forth-coming, explaining the barriers and the three worlds and what Yusuke and the others did as Spirit Detectives. Kagome found it very difficult to remain detached and unaffected by Botan's easy-going personality, she didn't want to let the girl get too close and potentially end up hurt. She was just so damn friendly.
What she didn't know was that, while she and Botan were talking, Koenma had finished getting his information and was sharing some with the Detectives. Including the legend surrounding Kagome and the Shikon no Tama, leaving them a little speechless as they tried to take it all in.
By the time they had made their way back to the office, the boys looked more than ready to leave, all of them were leaning or sitting in the silent place.
"You may open the portal home for them, Botan." Koenma stated and then turned to Kagome, "Lady Kagome? If you would be so kind as to come forward, I have a small matter to discuss with you and something to give you. It will be only a moment and then you can follow them out."
With a sigh, she stepped forward while the guys marched dutifully through the portal after Botan, "What it is?"
"First, I am truly sorry for your loss. Your friends were true heroes to be remembered for all time." He saw the steel in her eyes and cleared his throat, "Anyway, now that we have finally met I would like to be able to contact you easier, and make it easier for you to get in touch with us as well. So I want you to have this communication device." He held it out and watched as she took it with a little hesitance.
"Why have you given me this? Why would you need to contact me?"
Koenma looked her in the eyes, "Demons tend to break through the barriers and into the Human World from the Demon World, and I would be lying if I said that Yusuke and his team covered all of our issues. I was hoping that you would be willing to help keep the peace in the Human World, you would work on your own and you would be helping to save many innocent lives." He hoped his sincerity would be enough to get her to agree.
Lucky for him, it was. Kagome wasn't known for letting innocents go unprotected when she was in the position to do something about it. So he had earned himself another protector for the barrier. And then she was gone without so much as a goodbye.
oOo
Yusuke had been making idle chat with Botan, but she was just too damn perky and he was too damn heartbroken to be anything but irritated by her smile. Sure, he hadn't been with Keiko long, but he had been attached to her for a very long time. He had thought that she was all he had ever wanted, so pretty and she had just always been there in his life…and now she wasn't. By her own choice, she was gone and he was more than a little lost.
"Lady Kagome!" Botan exclaimed, drawing Yusuke out of his reverie and his attention instantly went to the beat up priestess standing outside of the portal in his living room.
She looked so small now that he had a moment to just look at her, he couldn't believe that this little woman was the stuff of legends. She was short, but not in a ridiculous fashion, at the very least her legs were long enough that it didn't matter. And, where so many women had little body shape, Kagome's was well-defined and appeared to be all muscle. She had an hourglass figure that was visible underneath her torn up sweatshirt and all the bandages. Her hair was quite long as well, quite the opposite of most women and the trends of today…a trend that Keiko had followed.
He shook his head a bit, trying to remove the thoughts, 'Why did everything lead back to her?'
Botan looked his way and shot him a huge smile before announcing, "Well, I'm off! It was nice to finally meet you Lady Kagome."
As Kagome opened her mouth to correct her about calling her Lady, the portal popped shut and she just kind of trailed off quietly, "…don't call me that?"
Yusuke watched her, she looked so damn uncomfortable in his place and just around people in generally, and almost sad standing there by herself. It gave him a strange comfort to know he wasn't the only one with problems.
"Uh, hey."
She had taken a few steps closer to him; he saw how stiffly walked and assumed it was from the injuries. He cursed himself a bit for not getting there sooner and preventing it altogether, and then wondered at himself. She was stronger than she appeared, and tougher, if Koenma's story was anything to go by…so why did he feel bad that she was hurt?
Kagome fidgeted a bit, "Yeah, so listen: I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I shouldn't have been so angry at you for helping me. I'm not used to having someone else fight my battles for me anymore."
He could tell she was trying to make amends, and she absolutely owed him that apology from earlier, but he felt like it was awkward for her. He wasn't going to make it all that much easier on her, either. Maybe he was lashing out because of his feelings, but right now he didn't care and wasn't looking to make friends.
"Whatever," he replied and shrugged.
Did she look…relieved? He had all but blown off her apology, so what was she doing relaxing now that he more or less made it known that he wasn't looking for friends? She was one strange lady.
"Well, I guess…I'll be going now." She took the longest way around him to the door, not even wanting to get close to him, and she was walking awkwardly. She was trying to hide the pain but it was impossible.
Yusuke cursed under his breath before saying, "You can crash here, I know you are hurt and I won't make you walk home tonight. Besides that, it's raining."
She didn't even glance back at him, just opened the door and said, "No thank you, I'm leaving."
And then she was gone.
oOo
Kagome was walking around the downtown area; she didn't have anything to do at the moment and was almost wishing Koenma would call her up with a demon to fight. It had been about three months since she had met the demi-god for the first time, and he had only summoned her twice to assist in a barrier breech. Once was a solo mission and the second was as support for Yusuke's team. She was in and out before any of them got in so much as a "Hey." But both times Koenma had seemed hesitant to call her in and she didn't like that at all, he acted like he wasn't the authority figure and she was. Somehow, she was going to have to fix that.
"Hey, Kagome! What are you doing out here?"
She tensed, she knew that voice. One of the few she recognized from back home, one of the people she had thought she left behind. But, no, the Gods had some kind of sick sense of humor because there was Hojo. And he had spotted her, if the waving and name-shouting was anything to go by. In an attempt to escape before he got too close, she tried to cut through a thick crowd of people and once she was safely on the other side, didn't even get a chance to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Didn't you hear me calling your name?" Hojo was now right next to her, looking down at her with his big innocent eyes.
Her heart thudded, her stomach clenched, this is what she thought she was avoiding by leaving without telling any of her friends. This confrontation, the one where she had to push away these innocent people because they cared about her too much, it made her sick to think about it. She wasn't ready for this. He was always sweet to her, always had a smile for her, always cared about her health and she…didn't want to hurt him. But she had to.
"Uhm…Kagome? Are you feeling alright?" There was that look, that concerned look she remembered so well.
Taking a deep breath, she readied herself and unleashed a cold stare to rival Sesshomaru, "I'm fine." She then attempted to push past him, but he stopped her by grabbing her hand. And she was stunned, no one had made such intimate contact with her in over a year.
He pulled her around, "Is something the matter? Did I do something to offend you? I have been waiting for you to come back home so I could talk to you, but you've been gone so long and I couldn't get a straight answer from your family. But, Kagome, now that I have you here I want to tell you how I feel."
Here it was, the moment she had dreaded, "What feelings? The ones that had you pining after me, following me around like a lost puppy?" She gave a cruel laugh, "I knew, I always knew, it was pathetic to see you day after day looking at me the way you did. And, did you honestly believe I was sick all those times my mom turned you away so politely? No, I just didn't want to be around you." She gave him a disgusted up and down look.
Hojo was shocked and hurt, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were shining with unshed tears. She felt sick as she watched him release her hand and turn away from her. There were tears in her own eyes as well, she felt them but refused to let them fall. She knew it had to be done.
"Damn, the first time I see you since we met and you've come across as an even bigger bitch than I remember." Yusuke said as he stepped forward from the crowd.
'Great, just what I needed! How could my day get any worse?' Kagome thought as she moved to wipe at her eyes.
"Like I care what you think of me," she said, nearly cringing at the watery sound of her voice.
Yusuke shrugged but noted how close she was to crying himself, strange considering she was the one who dealt out all the damage, "Did you have to tear into him like that? What did he do to deserve it?"
Kagome sat down on the nearby bench and just put her head in her hands, "He was my friend."
"And that's how you treat your friends?" Yusuke asked with a hint of irritation in his voice, he sat beside her on the bench.
"I don't expect you to understand and I don't care how you judge me, but it was the best thing I could do for him. He will never get why I did it, and he will probably hate me for a long time, but I had to do it." She didn't know why she was telling him this, perhaps part of her wanted him to understand.
Leaning back into a more comfortable position, Yusuke looked over at Kagome in a curious fashion, "How was ripping his heart out and laughing at him what was best for him? How you could have any friends at all with the attitude you have is beyond me."
She looked over at him and said simply, "I don't. Not anymore."
And Yusuke didn't really have anything to say after that, he really wasn't expecting her to say something like that and he was certain there was more heartbreak in those few words than what that fella was feeling right now.
"I am a danger to everyone. I don't visit my family, I don't have friends, and it's for the best. They could die." She shrugged like it was no big deal, but he could tell it was.
Looking at the small woman next to him as she stared into the crowded streets, he felt pain. What he had felt when Keiko had left him was painful, but he still had his friends and he could find another girlfriend if he was ready for that step…but to have no one?
He sighed and leaned forward to look at her, "Now should I have hurt feelings too? Because I thought we were friends." The look she gave him was hysterical, "What? You didn't know that I considered you a friend?"
"So, do you call all your friends bitches and grill them about their life choices? Or am I just special?" She still looked shocked.
"Well, you are certainly special considering we've only ever argued and never hang out and never have conversations…except for now I suppose. And I do believe you called me a bastard first."
Kagome let out a surprised laugh before she could stop herself, and he smiled a little in return. She covered her mouth and looked away, this wasn't supposed to happen and especially not with this guy that she was certain didn't like her.
"And who said I wanted a friend anyway?" She said quietly, not once looking back at him.
He reached out and gave a lock of her hair a small yank, "I never said it was a choice. Now, I'm supposed to be meeting with the guys for lunch and you are coming with us. This is also not a choice and it's very clear that you aren't meeting with any of your other friends so you aren't busy."
Before she could really respond, he grabbed her by the back of her large sweater and hefted her to her feet. When she didn't start walking on her own, he dragged her by her sweater to the burger joint and pushed her into one of the large booths. Where he made sure she sat and ate and forced her to participate in the conversation, though she only spoke the bare minimum.
And Yusuke was surprised at just how much better he felt now that he had made friends with her.
oOo
"Kurama! What should we do here?" Yusuke asked a bit too loudly.
Wincing, Kurama evaluated the situation: they were in the middle of the Demon World at the moment, having followed a band of demons that took off with a group of kids from a park. One kid had much too big a mouth and was yelling at the demons and had gotten himself smacked around more than once. All of the kids were a little beaten up, there were bruises and small cuts all over them and one of the little girls was crying. Kurama counted four kids, two boys and two girls and a pair of them looked like siblings, and there were seven demons.
What he couldn't figure out was why they had taken the kids, were they planning on making a meal of them? He wasn't sure, but he was sure that those kids were in danger and there were too many demons to deal with without risking further injury to the children. How to proceed?
Suddenly, there was a 'pop' and Kagome walked through the portal that had appeared. There was a fierceness and determination in her eyes that they had no idea her soul held, and she walked with purpose.
"Hey Kagome. What are you doing here?" Kuwabara asked, voicing the question they all wanted the answer to, "Why would Koenma send you too?"
She didn't even bother looking at him, she kept her eyes on the situation ahead of them, "He didn't, I invited myself along."
"Admit it, you just wanted to hang out with us." Yusuke taunted, smiling at her with his cocky grin and a little shine in his eyes.
"As if, Urameshi," she threw back, her lips tilting in a small smile, "I'm not all that attached to you guys, I just like a good fight."
But something told them there was more to it than fighting, that look in her eyes and the power in her stance said that something was personal, "So, how long did you idiots plan on standing here doing nothing? Trying to make a plan will just waste time because there is no way to plan for this situation. There are four innocent kids down there that need help, there are seven monsters that need putting down, those are the facts. That's all we need, that's all I need, to know."
And, before anybody could stop her, she was taking off down the hill in the direction of the danger with a charge in the air around her. They stood, stunned for a moment, before Yusuke led them in pursuit. He just couldn't believe what she was doing! That small girl was charging towards demons that towered over her, showing no fear and only determination. There was a spark in her that he hadn't seen in the 6 months of knowing her, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. But now wasn't the time for feelings, now was the time for kicking some demon ass.
In they charged, following Kagome into battle, all doing what they could to incapacitate the demons and lead them away from the kids. However, Kagome's goal was to get herself closer to the kids and keep them safe. With her purifying touches, she burned her way through the group, not lingering long enough to do killing damage but she did weaken the ones she touched. And then she was there with the kids and then they were her focus. Kneeling down in front of them, she gave them a smile in hopes of comforting them.
"It's okay guys, we're going to get you out of here. You all are so brave, now I want you to get real close to me so I can protect you, okay?" Her voice was gentle but loud enough to be heard over the fighting.
Yusuke glanced over and he almost tripped over his own feet, he had never seen her smile like that before. And the way she spoke to those kids, he had never heard her speak like that. He could have sworn his heart just skipped a beat as he looked her over, this was a new side of her and it was one he liked. But, as he was busy looking her over, he got caught off-guard by one of the demon and found himself tossed into a tree a distance away. He cursed and pushed himself up before charging back in, how could he let himself get distracted like that? As he got closer, he saw her hug the four kids in a tight group and watched the barrier appear around them just as she got ripped away by a demon. She burned it and landed on her feet before he could get close enough to help, not that she would have let him do anything.
As he got up next to her he said, "Well, you are just full of surprises."
"You think this is a good time to have this conversation?" She snapped, not even throwing him a look before lobbing herself at the demon.
She grabbed hold with both hands and filled the demon with her energy, turning him into ash, while Yusuke used his Spirit Gun on another which left only one still standing. Kagome decided that the others could handle that one on their own so she made her way back to the kids, followed by Yusuke who wasn't done hassling her about her friendly side. Six months they had known each other and she had never hinted that this soft and sweet side of her existed…he was pissed and he wasn't sure why.
"Hey! Excuse me, sweetheart, but you can't just ignore me. I believe we had started a conversation over there-hey!"
Kagome glared at him before touching the barrier and dropping it, she was on her knees in an instant and all four kids were in her arms or at least trying to be. One was on her back, two were clinging to her sides and the fourth was in her lap snuggling into her chest. She was talking softly to them, telling them that they were going to be okay now and that they were safe and Yusuke watched as a pink glow emanated from her and embraced the kids. And then his jaw dropped a bit as all their bruises faded and their cuts disappeared, since when could she do that?
He huffed, "Damn it woman, would you just talk to me?"
"Watch your language around the kids!" She said in a scolding tone, giving him a look that could kill.
One of the kids giggled before climbing off of Kagome's back and stepping toward Yusuke, "Thanks for saving us," he said before hugging his leg. The other kids follow suit, save the one in Kagome's lap that had passed out.
Yusuke looked down and his stomach clenched, those little faces looking up at him with adoration in their eyes only reminded him of the kids he would never have and what Keiko had said before she left him. Kagome noticed that sad look and called the kids back over,
"So who wants to ride on my back on the way home?"
All the kids ran back over and attempted to climb onto her together, and she somehow managed to stand up with 3 kids clinging to her and one in her arms. And then she started walking back toward the portal where Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara were waiting with Botan. Yusuke shook off his memories and caught up with Kagome to snatch two kids off of her and carry them himself. They laughed and one climbed onto his shoulders and smiled down at him. And, surprising Kagome, he smiled back. She looked at him and realized that, here in this moment, he looked exactly like everything she was never allowed to have. This smiling guy, with a kid on his shoulders and one in his arms, this was something she would never allow herself to want because she couldn't have it. Not without putting their lives at risk every day.
She felt the little girl in her arms shift and adjusted her hold with a soft, sad smile. Such a sweet face, it made her heart ache.
When they made it through the portal and back into the park, Kagome gave the little girl a jostle to wake her up, "Come on, pretty little girl. It's time to get up and go play with your friends."
Heavy green eyes opened and the cutest smile spread across her face as Kagome put her on her feet, "Are you going to play with us too?"
They guys were looking at her like she had grown a second head, this was not the Kagome they had become acquainted with. This person that carried kids and smiled with ease and was gentle and soft, this was a new person. And this person bent over and softly told them that she would play with them later, but first she wanted them to come over one at a time so she could tell them a special secret. And, one-by-one, the kids stepped forward and she brought them into a hug, whispered in their ear and kissed their foreheads. And, as they stepped back from her, they began to look confused and ran back to the play area of the park.
She then stood, gave a quiet sniffle, and turned toward the guys, "They won't remember any of this now, and if they do it will just be a vague idea more like a dream. Now, if you will follow me, I'll get you all patched up back at my place."
Tired as she was, and bloody as she may have been, she was true to her word and patched each of them up. Regardless of how they may have objected and protested, she got it done and then kicked them out. And none of them had wanted to ask her any more questions, even Yusuke was quiet. Because she had tears in her eyes the entire time.
oOo
Yusuke made a habit of coming over every day and knocking on Kagome's door until she let him in. For two straight weeks he came and tried to start conversations that she would deflect with idle chat and answers that weren't really answers. He would sit on her couch for an hour or so, and he knew he was irritating her, but he also knew that they had something in common. The pain of loss and knowledge that you are a danger to those around you, it was something they shared. So every day, for two weeks, he had showed up. And every day he was sure she was answering the door a little faster, like she had been looking forward to seeing him.
And today, after two weeks, he decided he was going to push it further and try to get answers. He was curious about her and something made him want to share things with her, so he had every intention of getting her to talk more. He wasn't sure how, but he would do it.
So he knocked on her door, and she didn't answer. He knocked again, surprised that she hadn't answered or shouted at him, and got no response again. So he waited a minute and decided to try the knob and found out that the door was unlocked, so he went in. Kagome might hit him for it, but she has always been home when he came over and he was a little curious and maybe…worried?
"I know, I really miss you too…I'm sorry I can't be there…"
He followed her voice through the tiny apartment and saw her standing out on her open patio, leaning on the balcony with her phone to her ear. He stood on the other side of the glass, watching her and curious about who she was talking to on the phone.
She sighed, "Souta, you know that you mean to world to me and I love you, that's why I left." She listened as he begged her to come home, her heart hurting as she heard the tears in his voice, "I've gotta go, please don't cry anymore, I'll call you again another time."
Yusuke was confused, who was she on the phone with? Her boyfriend? Why did that thought make his stomach hurt? He thought that she had been just like him, as alone as he was, but here she was making calls to some guy that she knew well enough to say 'I love you' to. He was mad at first, but then he heard her try to choke back a sob and saw her shoulders shaking and he had to do something.
Stepping up next to her on the balcony, he leaned back on the railing and said, "The night I met you for the first time, in that alley, my girlfriend had just left me. I loved her for years, whether I had been willing to admit it to her or not, and that night she decided that we weren't going to work anymore."
He sighed, not wanting to look over at her but he couldn't hear her crying anymore and figured she was listening, "I am an ancestor of the demon Raizen, his blood is in my veins and for that I am constantly being hunted and challenged. Raizen was one of the 3 kings in the Demon World, and being his ancestor, I was given his position. Keiko knew that, she found out when I did, and it didn't seem to affect our relationship. But as time went on and we started to think about the future, she realized that she didn't want that with me. She wanted kids, hell so did I, but she didn't want them to be in danger all the time. So, she left me."
Turning around, he faced her, "But you have someone, right? That guy you were talking to, the guy you love, he still wants you to come back and be with him even though he knows you are dangerous. So why are you crying? Why aren't you with him?" He supposed that came out a little more like an accusation than he intended but he was irritated.
She looked at him in surprise and then laughed, a short humorless bark of a laugh, "You really shouldn't make assumptions about people, Yusuke. It makes you look like an ass almost every time.
That guy I was on the phone with was my fifteen year old brother. He wants me to come home for his sixteenth birthday and I can't. Just like I couldn't go home when my grandfather died 4 months ago." She got angry then, and poked him in the chest, "And the guy that I love, he's dead too. He's been dead for a while now, he made the choice to leave me in the worst way possible. I will never be able to get him back, I will never see him again, and every day it hurts. So don't you dare talk to me like you know me, Yusuke Urameshi!"
He watched her turn and go, more than a little ashamed of himself but he followed her anyways. He knew that the best thing for her would be to talk some of it out, she hadn't had anybody to talk to this whole time. He wouldn't have been able to tell, just looking at her, she looked so strong whenever he saw her and didn't share anything. No one would know that she hadn't seen her family in over a year or that she had lost someone she had loved.
"Kagome, listen…I'm sorry." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "I didn't know and I shouldn't have just jumped to conclusions."
She scooted over on the couch and patted the cushion, "I'm sorry too. I didn't know either. Sit down, let's…let's talk.
You have been so persistant, more in the past couple weeks than the entire time we've known each other, to get me to talk to you. Why? Why do you need to know this stuff and why can't you just take what I'm offering as is?"
Sitting at the farthest end of the couch, Yusuke replied, "Because I saw something in you in the Demon World, something that I felt in myself. And, I just want to get to know you better, we are friends and that's what friends do. Friends also don't just sit back and watch their friends suffer alone."
"Tell me about yourself, Yusuke. Tell me about your life and don't leave out anything, I doubt you could shock me," Kagome said, relaxing back into her corner of the couch and resting her head in a place that allowed her to look at him.
Kagome was exhausted, emotionally drained, he had been persistently visiting and trying to pull information out of her and he just kept using the word 'friend.' And right now, after breaking her little brother's heart and spending over a year alone with no one to talk to, she was done. She would be open to friendship with him, but it would be on her terms. And Yusuke, he was actually a little surprised at how easily she seemed to have caved in. But he most certainly hadn't expected her to want to listen to him talk about his life, his whole goal was to learn more about her. He supposed it had to go both ways.
Taking a deep breath and settling into the couch, a little too embarrassed to look at her for some reason, he looked straight ahead at the blank wall. And he started his story. Every once in a while she'd ask a question and interrupt him and sometimes she'd shift on the couch, but eventually she was still and quiet and just listened. When he had finished he waited for a response, but didn't get one, so he looked over at her and sighed. Was his life really that boring that it put her to sleep? He ran his fingers through his hair and stood up to stretch before looking at the clock in the kitchen, it was pretty late, about midnight. But what was he supposed to do now?
He could leave her on the couch and get her a blanket, or he could put her to bed, or he could just leave and not let it be his problem. But, it was his problem, he was trying to establish a friendship here. So he poked around the apartment to find the bedroom and then went back to pick her up, only slightly surprised by how light she was, and put her in bed. Yusuke pulled the covers up over her and pushed her hair out of her face before taking a look around. It might have been invasive, but he really didn't care.
The walls were bare, just like the rest of the apartment, no pictures or paintings just white walls which came across more sad than anything else. She had a small basket of laundry in the corner of the room, and there was a trash can next to the nightstand full of old bandages, some random clothes laying around on the floor and one book of old Japanese myths and legends. She did have a small bookshelf out in the living room, full of paperback fiction and historical non-fiction, but this was the only hardcover book and it was right there on the nightstand. He saw something sticking out of the pages and picked up the book, opening to the page where the thing was. Of course it was her story, the story of the Shikon, and held in the pages of the story was a set of photobooth pictures, a 3x5 picture and a red piece of cloth.
The 3x5 picture, Yusuke assumed, was of Kagome's family. She was standing in a school uniform next to a small boy, both grinning happily, they were in front of a friendly-looking older woman and an old man that he assumed was her grandfather. Looking at her in the picture and comparing her to the girl…no, woman, he has known all this time was unreal. That smile, the light in her eyes, how carefree and glad she looked…he had never seen her look so happy. And the photobooth pictures, now that was the odd piece. She was in that same uniform, smiling and sitting next to a boy with silver hair and dog ears. He did not look as amused as she was, but he did get caught with a small smile in the last panel where he was looking over at Kagome who was making a goofy face into the camera. The fabric in the book looked like what he was wearing in the photos, so he assumed that's what it was. This guy, demon, whatever he was, he was the guy she loved. The long silver hair, the amber eyes, and the fangs and the 'whatever' attitude he seemed to have…Yusuke couldn't see the girl in the picture with her normal family falling in love with this mix-up of human and demon that clearly had an attitude. But that look he was giving her in the picture, that little smile, he knew that there was something there. So where was the bastard now?
He closed the book and put it back down on the nightstand before turning out the light and leaving for the night.
oOo
Kagome was waiting for Yusuke outside of the apartment the next day, she had her book in her lap on the steps and looked…different somehow. There was something about her energy and her appearance, she didn't look like the hardass she usually was. She looked…scared? Insecure and awkward, and smaller than he remembered sitting there alone on the steps.
"Hey," he said, stepping in front of her, "what are you doing out here?"
She looked up at him and squinted against the sun, "I was thinking we could go over to the park, I don't feel much like being home today."
He went to offer her a hand up, but she ignored him and pushed herself up off the steps and led him in the direction of the nearest park. It was deserted, schools hadn't let out yet so there were no kids and so Kagome sat on a swing. Yusuke dropped into the one next to her and just waited, casually pushing himself back and forth.
"Thank you for putting me in my bed. You shouldn't have done that." Her fingers tightened on her book, "You looked in my book."
It wasn't a question, Yusuke knew that, but his first reaction was to deny it. He was a little ashamed, he hadn't wanted her to know that he had looked at her most personal treasures, "I'm sorry. Actually, damn, I'm not all that sorry. I'm sorry you found out but I was curious and I looked. I can't take it back."
She shot him a look, an unhappy one, "So, I know you know the legend, my history, just ask me questions and I'll answer them. What do you want to know?"
"How did you get involved in this story? This took place five hundred years in the past, how were you even there?" It was best to start at the beginning, he supposed.
She sighed, "I was fifteen when it started, I went into the wellhouse on my family's shrine because I thought I heard my cat in there, I fell in looking down and climbed out five hundred years in the past. Because I had the Shikon and a deep connection to that time, I was pulled through by the magic in the well. I was involved in the story before I was even born in this time, my soul is a reincarnation of the priestess who was burned with the Shikon when she died and I was born with it in my body. I didn't ask for it, I didn't choose this story, I had no say. But then I was there, in the past, fifteen years old being chased by a centipede demon and then releasing Inu-Yasha so he could save me and try to kill me to get the Shikon for himself. But then I shattered it because the people there assumed I could shoot a bow and kill the bird demon who flew off with it. I hit the Jewel and shattered it. That's how I got involved, that's how I got there, I started it all."
Kagome looked over at him, she had done her best to not be emotional but it wasn't quite good enough. Even she had heard the stressed tone in her voice, and this wasn't even the hardest part to explain.
"You fell down a magic well, looking for your cat?" Yusuke asked, more than a little shocked. She was a young girl basically playing hide-and-seek with her cat never suspecting another world existed full of monsters waiting for her. She was just living with her family, her happy family, and then she was pulled out of that into a new reality.
"Yes. What kind of answer were you expecting? I wasn't looking for it to happen and I wasn't trying to time-travel, I didn't even know that the Jewel existed. What fifteen year old girl expects or hopes for a world full of demons and to be away from their family fighting for weeks on end?" She scoffed, and turned to face him, "Any other questions?"
He let her attitude slide, that's just how she was sometimes, "The legend said that everyone died in the end, but you didn't. How did it really end?"
She hesitated, this part hurt a lot, "That's how they summed it up, it's almost a perfect way to end it. Sango and Miroku died, but then again one wouldn't have lived without the other, I had tried to hide Shippo because he was so little but Naraku had taunted me saying that he found him and killed him," her knuckles turned white as she held the book tight, "he told me exactly where I had hid him, so he couldn't have been bluffing. InuYasha and I were pretty beat up but we won, we buried Sango and Miroku and I went to look for Shippo but I couldn't find him."
Yusuke was confused, "If you and InuYasha survived then why would they say everyone died?"
Kagome took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, "Because, technically we all did. There are little stories in all big stories, and one story you'll never be able to read is how my incarnation, Kikyo, was brought back from the dead. In one of the few legends of the Shikon, there is the story of the priestess who fell in love with a half-demon and wanted him to wish on the Jewel to become fully human so they could be together. But Naraku, evil as he was, attacked her in the half-demon's form so she believed he betrayed her and then pinned her real lover to the God Tree with an arrow before she died, her body was burned with the Shikon and that was how it ended. Kikyo was the priestess and InuYasha was the half-demon, some kind of tragic Romeo and Juliet story, they never got the life they truly deserved with each other.
"Anyway, on one of our travels, I had gotten stolen away and so did some of Kikyo's remains and graveyard soil, in order to revive her they needed her soul. The soul I had." Yusuke was staring at her with a look of pure fascination on his face, "It was a success at first, Kikyo's body was formed and she was alive again but I apparently pulled back most of my soul and she became something in-between alive and dead. She seemed to have no feeling, she worked only toward getting what she wanted which was the Shikon and…and InuYasha. She wouldn't return to the land of the dead until he agreed to go with her back to Hell."
Kagome fidgeted, her butt going numb, and took another deep breath before finishing her story, "So, after the battle, Kikyo made herself known. She approached me alone and wanted to challenge me for our soul and the Jewel, but InuYasha came back before either of us had gotten started. He took her aside and I watched them talk before he came over to tell me his decision. I knew before he had gotten close, I knew what he was going to say, he was leaving with her. Giving up his life and the future he could have had if he would have stayed…" She felt a tear drop and quickly wiped it away, "and since he was gone, I had nothing else to do but go home. Why would I have stayed?"
He sat and absorbed everything she had said, this answer was far longer than he expected and more complicated too. After all the fighting they did, all the traveling together, winning that final fight and surviving, the idiot threw away his life on his dead love? And Kagome disappeared out of that time forever, nothing left to hold her there, all her friends were gone. So she has been carrying the burden alone, their stories and lives and journeys.
"InuYasha, he was the one in the pictures? In your book, you and that guy, that was him?" He asked, more for confirmation and to continue the conversation than anything else.
She slid the photos out of the book and looked down at them, a sad smile on her face, "Yeah. That's him. He could come through the well too, he was always trying to drag me back with him to find more shards and finish the Jewel. I had tests to take that day and he followed me to make sure I came back right after, I used to tell myself he just wanted to spend time with me because he missed me. I pulled him into the booth because I wanted something to always remember that day."
"He's the guy you loved, the one that left you." It was a statement, not a question, he knew the answer, "So why did he leave you? Why did he go with her to Hell if he could have stayed with you?"
"He didn't love me, no matter how it may have looked to anyone else. He was my first love though, he was my hero and I spent so much time with him that I was sure I understood everything going on in that head of his. Being a half-demon, he wasn't really loved by humans or demons so he was always pushy and could be quite the bastard when he wanted to be, but I knew he was just trying to protect himself. I loved him unconditionally, in a way he had never been loved before and I think it came across more like a mother's love than what he had with Kikyo. He learned that I would always be there no matter what, when he would run off to visit her I'd be there to offer him a smile when he came back. And when he would lose control of himself, when he'd lash out and hurt me, I would always come back to him. But what he had with Kikyo, the romance and the drama and the history, he felt he owed her his life because he blamed himself for her death. So he left with her."
Yusuke reached out and grabbed her hand, "He loved you. I could see it in those pictures you have. And I can tell you that he didn't pick her over you, that wasn't his reason for it. He may have thought he owed her his life, but I can guarantee you that part of it was that he wanted to protect you. His first love, that Kikyo, she died and he blames himself. He didn't want something similar to happen to you, he loved you. I know it."
With a bit of a smile, she gave his hand a little squeeze, "Thanks Yusuke. I never thought of it that way, it was definitely something I needed to hear."
Releasing her hand, he sat back, "One last question: What happened after you came home?"
"Alright, last one. You promise? I haven't talked about this at all and it's surprisingly draining. I'm tired." And she looked it, dark circles under her eyes and she looked like something was weighing her down. He nodded.
"When I got home, I spent about one week with my family, that's all I got with them before the attacks started. Demons would show up demanding my power, the Jewel, and time and again I'd have to fight them. I couldn't count the times they showed up and hurt one of my family, or tried to use them against me somehow, it got so bad that I couldn't leave the house and they couldn't either. I couldn't watch them if they separated. So, one day, I packed up what I wanted to take with me and some essentials and told them goodbye. I told them they'd never see me again, that I was moving away to a place where no one I knew was around. It was a lie, at first." She looked away from him then, and began tugging at the end of one of her sleeves, pulling it down over her hand.
"How was it a lie?" He asked, getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Still looking away she said, "I was going away, but I had planned on going away for good. I-I tried to kill myself. I cut my wrists and just waited to die. While I was bleeding out in the bathroom of this empty apartment, I regretted nothing. I didn't wish I would live, I didn't regret my choice, I just waited. But I didn't die, I couldn't. I kept bleeding until I blacked out, I woke up a couple hours later in this huge puddle of my blood, I could feel the pain and I felt lightheaded but I was being kept alive by the Shikon. I knew it then, so I had to drag myself into the bathtub, really hard to do with damage done to your wrists, and turned the shower on. Healing was a bitch, I may heal fast but it still hurts and I can't heal myself with my own energy so it was an ordeal.
But, when I realized I had no choice but to live, I found myself a way to bring in some money to live off of and then I ran into you."
Yusuke knew that right now, after admitting something like that to him, she would need reassurance. She needed a friend. But he couldn't move, couldn't speak. He'd never known somebody who had wanted to die, but he also had never known somebody who had gone through all she'd been through. He actually felt a little sick just thinking about it all, she had spent years away from her family fighting demons, lost all her friends in the end, had to leave her family and was so destroyed by it all that she hadn't wanted to live anymore. And she had no one, for a year she had no one, and she had been living with all of this stuff inside. His heart hurt just thinking about her laying in all her blood, alone on the floor.
What do you say to someone in this situation? Do you apologize? Do you pretend you didn't hear it? Uncertain and a little frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair, he could bet that Kuwabara would know what to say since was always so in-tune with how others felt. He'd react in a way that would make her feel better.
He stood, unsure but it was all he knew to do, moved in front of where she sat and pulled her up into a hug. The book hit the ground when it fell from her lap, but neither of them moved to pick it up.
"It's okay. It's okay because you didn't ask for any of this, so it's okay that you wanted to give up. And I will be here for you, so will the guys, we're your friends now and we aren't gotten rid of so easy," he said rather quietly, relaxing a bit when she finally started to return the hug.
"Yeah, I have friends now." She relaxed against him and gave into the hug, she hadn't been held like that in a long time and it was nice to feel the warmth of another person.