So CW showed the How I Met Your Mother rerun, "Rebound Bro" today, and something Barney said had me going "OH MY COW BIG BANG THEORY!" So I decided to write a crossover where Barney goes out West to teach someone about being a good bro. This won't be insanely long, but at least a few more chapters. I have a good idea of how it's going to go in my mind; just a matter of writing it out.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, both shows belong to CBS.
Warnings: possible sexual jokes, word-play, but nothing worthy of an M rating. Possible (and tiny, if there) Ted/Robin and/or Barney/Robin undertones. Probable Leonard/Penny, but not sure yet.
"I am heading to Pasadena, California!"
The announcement should have taken them by surprise. It didn't. Not really. "Okay, why?" Ted asked, speaking slowly. He glanced at Robin, who moved her shoulders a fraction to tell him that she had no idea either.
"Because," Barney said. He looked as if he'd been waiting for them to ask. "Robin challenged me to train a bro on the west coast."
"Yeah…no, I didn't," Robin said, shaking her head.
"Yes, you did. Down at the bar," Barney said, pointing downward, as if Ted and Robin didn't know where the bar was. "You said, and I quote 'Barney, I think after Randy, you're the best bro-trainer in the East'."
"I think I said 'Hey, there's Randy. I'm still impressed that you managed to get him laid'."
"See? That's exactly what I just said, Ted, she remembers!" Barney grinned excitedly.
Ted rolled his eyes. "So why Pasadena, California?"
Barney shrugged. "I asked Marshal and Lily to name a city on the West Coast that I've never been to. So, I'm heading for Cali…wait." Barney sat down in the wooden chair. "That wasn't dramatic enough. So, I'm heading for…" he jumped up. "California! Tomorrow!"
"To find a bro?" Ted asked, still speaking slowly and with his brow furrowed.
"Ted," Robin said, "keep up, here."
"Thank you, Robin," Barney said, nodding. "Yes, Ted. To find…a bro! And then, I am going to train said bro in my ways, and then I will return to my New York City abode knowing that my California bro will be wowing California with his skills for picking up women."
"Is this an ego thing?" Ted asked.
"Or he just wants someone to read his blog," Robin said.
"You want his blog readers to rival your show's viewership?" Ted said. "And as he writes his blog that would technically be considered an ego thing."
"My show has more viewers than Barney's blog has readers!" Robin protested.
"I don't know about that, Robin," Barney said. "People read my blog."
"Three, maybe." She said.
"That still proves my point," he said. He looked at Ted and they snickered.
"So what does this mean, Barney?" Ted asked. "I'm not a good enough wingman anymore?"
"Nah," Barney said, waving a hand dismissively. "You're as decent as ever. I just like a challenge. Remember when I hooked up with a twenty two year old while dressed in my old man makeup? He assumed the stiff, old man stance. "Reprise of the arthritis five!"
Ted rolled his eyes, leaning forward to tap Barney's curled fingers. "What kind of target are you going for?" He asked.
"Ah," Barney said, "this, my friends, is going to be a true challenge. Like Randy was." He pointed to Robin, "since, you know, it's your challenge."
"I didn't challenge you to…"
"I am going," Barney said, talking loudly until Robin stopped. "To find the man the least suited – and I mean, seriously, no suit – to be my California bro. And I am going to turn him into you, Ted. An accomplished bro, who can get anyone laid, no matter how socially stunted they are."
"Well," Ted said, raising his glass of water toward Barney prior to taking a drink. "Good luck with that one, buddy."
"I won't need luck," Barney said, gazing dramatically off into the distance. I just need time. And how socially stunted can California guys be?"
I'll update my other IP fic very soon, then that one will be done and this will be my only WIP. It'll probably be done soon, too, though. I already know what's going to happen, I just need to get the specifics. Hope you enjoyed it so far; sorry it's short.