DOUBLE WHAMMY
AUTHOR: LittleMouse
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing. 'Nuff said.
WARNINGS: Character bashing, maybe language, silliness
SUMMARY: A one-shot side fic to 'Alone' Basically, Relena finds out. I don't *think* you need to read 'Alone' first to understand this one. I hope.
"Heero, I have something very important to tell you." Relena Peacecraft smoothed the skirt of her pink suede suit and smiled sadly at the calm boy sitting across from her. She hid a thrill at finally having her beloved in her house, sitting in her own living room! She'd had to call in a lot of favors to get him assigned to her security detail today, and she intended to take full advantage.
And it was so going to be worth it - soon he would be hers!
There was nothing wrong with catching someone on the rebound, after all. She knew some perfectly wonderful couples who had started out that way. Her Heero would be upset for a while, but he'd soon realize that the terrible boy he thought he cared for wasn't worth his time... and she would be there to pick up the pieces!
He would finally realize how much he loved her!
She snapped out of her blissful daze to see him still gazing at her, brilliant blue eyes as calm as ever. She cleared her throat, blushing a little, and smoothed her skirt again.
"Well... I really don't like to tell you this, Heero. You know I care about you, and I want you to be happy?" She waited for a response, but he still just watched her, impassive. "Ahem... well, I just happened to come across - I mean, some friends saw - er... well, here. I'm very sorry, Heero, darling." She handed him a flat manila envelope.
Heero accepted it and she watched avidly while he opened it, sliding out the eight-by-ten glossy it contained. He studied it for a long moment, a flicker of some unknown emotion going through his eyes. After a moment he slid it back into the envelope and looked at her. "Relena..." he trailed off, his eyes suspiciously shiny.
'He's going to cry! How sweet! And how dare that terrible boy do this to him! But if he hadn't, Heero would never leave him. My darling is just too loyal and honorable for his own good. Poor baby... oh, wait, he's waiting for me to say something.'
"Oh, Heero, I really am sorry to have to show you that. But, really, it's all for the best. At least you found out now, right?"
"Relena - how did you get this picture?"
What?! He wasn't supposed to ask that! He was supposed to be too broken-hearted to think of that!
"Oh, well, like I said, some friends were... and they know your, um, friend... and they saw... and the camera was just..." She trailed off, hoping she wasn't blushing. She didn't like lying to her beloved, but she couldn't admit she'd hired a private detective to follow the terrible boy around! Heero would never forgive that, even if she had gotten what she was after!
"Hn." was all Heero said in reply, turning the envelope over and over in his hands. He looked thoughtful for a long moment, then raised his eyes to her again, sudden determination shining in their depths. "Relena - would you come home with me? Would you be there when I show this to Duo?"
Joy flooded Relena's heart. Heero needed her!
"Of course I will, Heero! I understand why you need support at a time like this! Shall we have dinner first? And then we can..."
"No. Now."
"Oh... well, I suppose you're right. The sooner, the better. Then you can put it all behind you." She nodded, satisfied with her logic, and stood up, smoothing down her skirt for the umpteenth time that day.
The limousine ride to Heero's apartment seemed to take forever. Heero sat wrapped in silence, turning the envelope over and over in his hands. Occasionally he shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. Relena filled the silence with the brightest chatter she could come up with, hoping to alleviate her poor hurting beloved's pain. She talked about anything and everything, on and on. He gave her no response beyond the occasional mild glance, but she was sure she saw gratitude behind the obvious pain in his eyes.
When they finally arrived at the little apartment building next to Preventer's HQ, Relena insisted on taking his arm. Moral support was very important right now, Heero was going to need it as he told that terrible boy exactly what he thought of him!
And she wouldn't miss this for the world!
They took the elevator up, and Heero was still silent. He hadn't shaken her hand off his arm like he usually did though, sending rivers of joy through Relena's heart. She had always known all her hard work would pay off! All the times she followed him during the war, all the times she insisted on having him assigned to her security detail, all the gifts she showered on him and the special places she took him to...
Oh, they were there.
She waited in a quiver of delighted anticipation as Heero slid his key card through the lock and opened the door. They stepped inside and Relena took a quick look around. She'd never been in Heero's apartment and she expected a cold, graceless environment, just begging for a woman's touch.
Her mouth fell open.
The apartment was - well, not gorgeous, or elegant - but, it was pretty. Cozy. Nice furniture, a little mismatched, a throw across the back of the couch, pictures on the wall and an expensive entertainment center.
And a very happy Duo Maxwell bouncing out of the kitchen to throw himself at Heero.
"Hee-chan! You're home early! Did she let you go or did you sneak away from the bi... oh, hi, Relena." His happy tones went abruptly sour.
"Hello, Duo." she said sweetly, and waited for Heero to speak. She didn't have to wait long.
"Explain this." Heero said shortly, shoving the innocent-looking manila envelope into Duo's hands. Duo frowned, puzzled, and opened it, sliding the photo out.
He blushed.
'And well you should!' Relena thought smugly, remembering exactly what that photo showed. Duo Maxwell, official boyfriend of one Heero Yuy, standing on a sidewalk outside a pretty new ice cream café that had just opened downtown, the ice cream cone in his left hand melting, dripping vanilla all over the sidewalk as his right hand cradled the back of a dark head, pulling someone who definitely wasn't Heero Yuy into a passionate kiss.
The other person was small, delicately made, with glossy black hair long and loose and shining almost blue in the sunlight, dressed in blue jeans cut off mid-thigh to make shorts, exposing slim, beautifully muscled bronze legs. A blue tank top did the same for slender arms, one thrown around Duo's shoulders while the other held a chocolate cone safely out of the way, dripping sweet drops of its own in the glaring sun.
Duo was wearing shorts, too, and a tight t-shirt that showed off every smooth curve of muscle on his lean body, his braid swinging around him, a gleaming ribbon of fiery gold as it caught the summer sun. It was a pose made for lovers, a picture they would probably treasure, but it was Heero's boyfriend not with Heero, so why was the terrible boy grinning so broadly?!
"Oh, man... he's gonna die... can we get this framed? Where did you get it? Who took it?!"
"What?!" Relena squawked.
"Relena gave it to me." Heero said calmly, taking the picture back and gazing at it. "Duo. Do you have any idea how this made me feel?"
"Hot and bothered?" Duo asked, grin getting even broader.
Relena gasped, looking to Heero, waiting for the explosion.
She got a blush, instead.
'What... the... hel... er, heck?!'
"What do you mean?! That picture is... is terrible! You're - you're cheating on poor Heero!"
Duo's face darkened, the happy grin faded. Before he or Heero could open their mouths to reply, another voice broke in.
"What's going on?"
Relena turned sharply to the side to see Chang Wufei standing in the entrance to the hall, a small laundry basket full of fluffy towels held in his hands. She could smell the warm aroma of fabric softener - the towels were just out of the dryer.
Agent Chang was doing Heero's laundry?!
She knew he was staying with the two - temporarily, of course - since he came back from being stationed in some remote post. She did think it rather extreme that he would impose on Heero's hospitality for three months, but Heero would never tell a war comrade to get out. She'd been planning on doing that herself, as soon as they were together.
Nicely, of course.
Or better yet, he could stay here while Heero moved into her mansion with her... She shook herself quickly. Now was not the time to zone out. Her psychiatrist had warned her about those little 'episodes.' She got back to the subject at hand.
Agent Chang and Heero's laundry.
Certainly, it was nice of him to help out around the place, but laundry was so intimate! She sincerely hoped the man wasn't planning on muscling in on her territory once she'd gotten Duo out of the way! She'd put a rapid stop to that!
"Wu-man, c'mere and look at this!" Duo said, humor quickly restored. Wufei shot a wary look at Relena's glare and set the laundry basket down, stepping closer to the braided boy. Duo shoved the picture under his nose and he took a pair of gold-rimmed reading glasses from his pocket and set them on the same small nose, peering through them at the picture.
Relena wondered idly why that made Heero and Duo take a step closer to him?
And why the sudden pink that spread across high bronze cheekbones made them step closer again?!
"Well?" Heero said suddenly, glaring at the other two boys. "I'm still waiting for an explanation. Duo?" The braided boy kept gazing at Wufei, grinning, and didn't answer. "Wufei?"
"Heero..." Wufei looked confused and slightly worried. "It was just..." He darted a glance at Duo, who was looking a little confused himself, finally tearing his eyes away from Wufei in his reading glasses - kawaii! - and looking back at Heero.
"A hot day in the park, Hee-chan. You were gone on that mission to L3..."
Relena waited for an explosion again, wondering why he was including Wufei in this discussion, anyway?
This time, she got her explosion.
"I can't believe you already went to Baskin-Robbins without me! I thought we were going together?! Is the ice cream as good as they say it is?"
Duo and Wufei exchanged long looks and both burst out laughing.
"Sure, Hee-chan. It's great! And we didn't actually go, we just got cones at the outside window! We're waiting for you to go with us to try out the sundaes!"
"Well. That's all right, then." Heero said, mollified.
"What?!" Relena made a noise like a strangled duck. "Heero! What do you mean, 'that's all right?!' He cheated on you with some girl!"
"Girl?!" Wufei cried, outraged, and Heero and Duo whooped with laughter.
Relena just stared.
Heero finally got himself under control and grabbed Wufei, who was glaring, red with anger, and jerked the tie out of his hair. He ran his fingers through the black silk for a moment, then shoved him at Duo. The other boy, realizing what he wanted and more than happy to help out, pulled their struggling Dragon into another passionate kiss, mimicking the pose in the photograph as closely as he could.
Wufei stopped struggling almost immediately, both arms going around Duo's neck.
Relena just stared.
After a moment Heero pulled Wufei back, hugging him tight against his chest with one arm while he caught Duo's braid in his free hand, pulling the boy into a kiss of his own. Duo smirked against his lips and kissed him soundly in return. Wufei leaned his cheek against Heero's sturdy chest and watched them, still blushing faintly.
Relena just stared.
Finally she snapped out of it, and the noise she made this time sounded more like the duck was stepped on by an elephant. "I... what... I...?!"
"Both of them, Relena." Heero said, trying to make it sound gentle. It wasn't her fault the girl was an obsessed lunatic, after all.
"You... no... both? Can't... you... what...?!"
"Geez, Relena, take a breath." Duo muttered, stealing 'Fei from Heero and hugging him close. Relena gaped at them for another long moment, doing a remarkable impression of a goldfish, then she whirled around, staring at the apartment again.
Pictures on the wall of five Gundam pilots during the war, of Lady Une and that doctor that sometimes trailed along behind her, sharing space with newer pictures of three particular pilots in casual poses.
A beautifully polished katana on the coffee table, next to a catalog of security systems.
Three vastly different sets of shoes stacked together near the door.
Three places set on the table she could just catch a glimpse of through the open dining room door.
The sudden remembrance that this apartment only had one bedroom.
The knowledge that the couch in the living room was not the fold-out kind.
Three calm faces watching her assessment.
Her bottom lip wobbled for a second as tears filled her big blue eyes. Then she took a deep breath, straightened her spine, and glared at them.
And they, who had been on the receiving end of glares from Oz generals, torturers, Lady Une, and each other without wavering, nearly whimpered.
"I'm not giving up!" she snapped, "No matter how many of you there are!"
"Oh, for gods sake! You..." Duo started, but Relena turned and started marching for the door. Duo almost took a step after her, but Heero caught him. He had taken another look at the picture, remembered why he'd been shifting uncomfortably in the car - beyond Relena's annoying chatter, of course - and decided it was time to do something about it.
"YeahwhateverRelenaseeyoulaterbye!" Heero did an impressive imitation of Duo, letting go of his kois long enough to shove the girl all the way out the door and slamming it behind her.
Relena stared at the blank wall across the hall.
She heard the lock click.
Then she heard giggles.
She frowned, then wandered off down the hall, reminding herself that she would need to call that detective and see if he had an assistant. Someone would have to start following Agent Chang, too. She climbed into the pink limo and gestured for the driver to pull out, going over her stalking 'to-do' list in her mind.
She was nearly home before it occurred to her to wonder why those boys were giggling?
~owari~