"I just think, sometimes, you're so focused on the people you love that you forget to see that there are people who love you."
Ray isn't meant to hear this. He doesn't mean to watch Felicity say goodbye to Roy, and then Oliver, but try as he might, he can't quite focus on Roy getting into one of his cars that he's (permanently) loaned to him and speeding off.
No, instead, Ray watches as John quietly walks away from his two friends. He watches as Felicity squeezes Oliver's arm, and even though they both have their backs to Ray, it's not exactly hard to picture the expression that is surely on Oliver's face right now.
Really, Ray shouldn't be surprised. Not after awkward, sorry, boundaries and I know him better than almost anyone and it's nice to see you... here. Not after all the times Ray takes a step closer to Felicity and feels her – ever so slightly, imperceptibly – stepping back. He's always wondered what it is that's held her back, but he's known in the back of his mind exactly what – and who – was standing in her way.
He barely realises that he's opening the door for her to his car, let alone him kind of staring blankly in the space where Felicity had been – but then he snaps out of it, goes around to the other side of his car and gets in.
"You... really care about him, don't you?" Ray says quietly.
Felicity's eyes move from side to side behind her glasses and her eyebrows crease in the middle. "Who? You mean Roy?"
And he's not sure why. Maybe it's because they've all had a long day, or because she almost died a few hours ago, or because he wants just a little longer with her before he says anything – but Ray finds himself nodding. "Yeah," he says with effort. "Roy. He... uh, must have been close with all of you."
"He's part of the team," Felicity replies, but then her shoulders sink. "Was part of the team."
"You okay?" Ray asks.
She nods. "Yeah, it's just – been a long day. Thank you, Ray, for all your help. We couldn't have done this without you. Any of it."
Ray tries to smile. "Perks of having a billionaire as a boyfriend, right?"
When Felicity chuckles lightly at his words her eyes light up and he can't help but kiss her. "Thank you," she says again.
"It's nothing, honestly," he replies, and he means it. He gladly provided Roy with money and a car, and he's just grateful that together with his new identity Roy will be safe. He hopes.
"I meant for saving my life earlier, actually," Felicity says.
But Ray shakes his head. "You can thank Oliver for that."
"I did," Felicity says firmly. "Doesn't mean I can't thank you too."
And any objections Ray has (the words "I was only returning the favour") are silenced with Felicity's kiss. Despite himself he can't help but be lost in the warm, sweet taste of Felicity, the faint whiff of her perfume as she cradles his cheek with her palm and runs her tongue along his lower lip.
"You're welcome," he murmurs against her mouth.
She insists on going with him on his jet to Central City, to drop off the metahuman to Star Labs' makeshift pipeline prison. They don't stay long there, though – there's something about the wan greeting Felicity gives Cisco and Caitlin that makes him plead exhaustion with Cisco when he asks Ray to stay for a drink.
"Another time, yeah?" Ray says to him apologetically. Cisco nods, pats Ray's shoulder in understanding, and minutes later Ray is back on the jet with Felicity.
"It's strange, what Cisco said," Felicity remarks as she sits down and wraps a nearby blanket over her shoulders. "You know, about this meta not being in Central City when the particle accelerator went online. Makes you wonder how he got his powers."
"Yeah," Ray agrees. "I'm sure there's an explanation, though. What matters is that he won't be able to hurt anyone ever again."
"Ever the optimist, you are," Felicity says fondly. There's silence for a minute as they take off, and finally it's too much for Ray.
"You okay?" Ray asks again. She nods.
"I know it could be worse. This isn't like Sara."
"Sara?"
"You remember Laurel Lance?"
"The Black Canary," he says. "Also a pretty scary lawyer even without all that leather."
"Sara was her sister," Felicity explains. "She was the Black Canary's – predecessor, you could say."
"Ah, the other blonde woman in black leather who liked to kick the crap out of criminals," Ray says, and his heart soars when he manages to elicit a smile from her. It fades pretty quickly, though.
"She… died earlier this year. She was murdered."
It clicks in Ray's brain, now. "The friend you lost in October." Felicity nods. "I'm sorry," he says softly.
"She was one of the team. And losing her was hard. And I know Roy's still alive, but the world thinks he's dead, and that means he's going to have to live like a ghost for a while. Which won't be easy."
"He's a tough kid," Ray says, trying to reassure her. "At least, he seems to be."
"He is. He's been through a lot."
"So has Oliver," Ray says after a moment. There's a shift in Felicity's expression when Ray says the name, and he can see the tension in her shoulders as she sits up a little.
"He doesn't really talk about it, to be honest. I know – bits and pieces, but there is so much he's never told anyone about when he was on the island. Not with me, not with anyone."
Something you two have in common, Ray wants to say. But he doesn't. He shakes his head. "He doesn't have to. After today… I can see that you were right. He is a hero, and I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me that."
Felicity smiles. "You apologised already. And – for what it's worth? It took me a while to trust him, too. When I first started helping Oliver, he lied right to my face again and again, and he knew I knew it, too."
Ray raises his eyebrows. "Like what?"
And there's something about the way Felicity's eyes light up properly for the first time in what feels like forever, as she tells him about supposed spilt lattes and bullets and laptops, that confirms what Ray has in the back of his mind suspected for a while now. He wants to say something, but he can't quite bring himself to say anything. And it's now, really, that he realises it's not because his private jet is probably not the best place to break up with his girlfriend, or his place (he offers to drop her off at her apartment if she wants, but she mutters something about not wanting to be alone and he's not exactly going to argue with that).
No, it's because Ray would rather pretend, just for a little while longer, that the two of them are okay, that Felicity isn't in love with someone else, that for them to work she would have to make her heart feel something it won't.
As soon as they're in Ray's room Felicity kicks off her heels and takes off her coat. She collapses unceremoniously, fully clothed, on Ray's bed, and Ray follows suit, getting into the bed too while Felicity takes off her glasses.
Neither of them speak as Ray uses a remote to turn off the lights, and he lets out a sigh as Felicity buries her face into his neck. He holds her close, in the dark, and Felicity falls asleep in his arms. Ray lies awake, though, unable to sleep knowing that her heart will never be something he will truly be privy to – and that when morning comes, he'll do what's right for both of them.