"Without You"
I can make a mess of a good thing.
Try to think it through, think of everything.
I'll never get engaged with a mood ring.
That's why I need you.
Camelot was quiet. Camelot was never quiet. Guinevere realized this and decided not to take her time gathering water at the well as she usually did.
The wind was starting to swirl faster and the air was growing more intense with a sort of icy chill. Gwen wrapped her shawl tighter around her petite shoulders and held the bucket closer. Her fingers clutched the wooden handle firmly but nervously. She sensed something was wrong in the kingdom, and she didn't want to be caught outside when whatever was happening came to a boil.
Once she was inside the safety of her cozy cottage, she placed the bucket on the table and collapsed into her favorite chair. The busy day of assisting the Lady Morgana with her archery had taken its toll and now, as the day was winding down, Gwen just wanted to curl up in her tiny bed and sleep. However, that nagging feeling didn't leave her mind. When she had resolved to wait up another few hours to see if anything happened, she heard a sharp rapt on the old wooden door.
"Who is it?" She called through the thick oak, wary of whatever might be on the other side.
"It's Arthur," Morgana's brother and the future king of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, said hastily. Gwen opened the door and smiled at the sight of her friend.
Arthur was a nice guy when he wasn't being arrogant and prince-like. Gwen quite liked him, if she was being totally honest with herself. She'd never tell him, though. And while Arthur fully returned the sentiments in his own mind, the friendly relationship couldn't go any further. Arthur was nobility, and if he were to be with a servant girl, the kingdom would surely erupt in chaos.
"I come with bad news," Arthur announced upon entering Gwen's home. The door was still open, letting in the frosty air. He looked down at his hands, clearly uncomfortable; he hated bringing Gwen unhappiness. "My sister is ill."
I'll never look for love, it will find me.
Take me by surprise, it will bind me.
I never knew it could be right behind me.
And that's why I need you.
Darling, I need you.
"Wha- What is wrong with her, My Lord?" Gwen stammered.
"She's fallen into a deep sleep only this evening…" Arthur trailed off, not sure how much to tell Gwen. "We fear that she will not wake."
After a few moments of disbelief, Gwen threw herself into Arthur's arms. He embraced her and held her tightly, not saying a word. She buried her face in his broad shoulder and whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Arthur."
He brushed her hair back from her face and just looked at her. He'd forgotten how beautiful she was, even with tears streaming down her face. He brushed one away, and she looked up at him. He swallowed quickly, realizing that he was encroaching upon dangerous territory.
"Do you want to come back to the castle with me?" He asked abruptly. He knew that she'd want to stay with Morgana for the next few days until something, good or bad, happened. He felt the same way but, as he had royal duties to attend to, he wouldn't be able to stay with her as often he'd like. He'd rather leave his sister in good hands than alone in her sickness.
"Of course," Gwen nodded solemnly. She left Arthur standing by the door and went to pack a few things into a rucksack. As she walked around the small cabin, he smiled to himself. Even though his feelings for Gwen were inappropriate, to say the least, he enjoyed seeing her in her home. She was at peace and could handle any situation thrown at her. She would make a lovely wife for someone one day, and Arthur knew that. Even though it broke his heart to think of her with someone other than himself, he only wanted Gwen to be happy.
He thought of all these things as he leaned against the frame of the heavy door, resting his head on the wood and watching the girl he loved but who could never love him back.
She don't know what to do,
She won't call me.
I'll never know everything,
But I know you love me.
And I don't ever lose to you,
I can't do a thing without you.
Never ever lose to you,
Can't do a thing without you.
Gwen stayed by Morgana's bed for two days without leaving once. She'd barely slept any at all and Morgana hadn't stirred once. It was the third day, and as Arthur's servant Merlin entered the chambers to sit with Morgana, Gwen's need for sleep was growing.
"Nice to see you, Merlin," Gwen smiled thoughtfully when the skinny boy walked over to stand beside her.
"How is she?" Merlin asked with a worried look on his face.
"About the same," she admitted, watching Morgana's pale face. Her eyes were closed and she looked as though she were sleeping, even though both Merlin and Gwen knew that it was something much worse.
"You look bad, Gwen," Merlin noted, taking a seat on the other side of Morgana's bed, opposite from Gwen. "No offense," he added with a small smile. Gwen managed a quiet laugh.
"It's just that I haven't had very much sleep over the past few days. I've been so… worried," she said.
He pointed to an armchair across the room and told her, "Why don't you get some rest? I can watch the Lady for a few hours." When Gwen didn't move, he got stern. "You won't be any help if she wakes up, now, will you? You're so tired that your eyes are nearly closed right now. Go on," he smiled, knowing that sleep would ease her mind about these last few days.
Begrudgingly, Gwen stood and walked over to the armchair. She plopped down into it, too tired to remember her manners. She instantly fell asleep in the comfortable armchair, and it wasn't too long after that she started murmuring in her unconsciousness.
"Arthur," she whispered, unaware that Merlin could hear her dreams. "Arthur…."
Well, I could fight a war like a veteran.
Give you a little more like a gentleman.
Learning from before, I'll be a better man.
I know I need to.
"Merlin, what are you-" Arthur started when he barged into his sister's chambers, but he fell silent when Merlin held up a finger to his lips, miming the 'Be Quiet' sign. His servant was sitting on the floor in front of a sleeping Guinevere, and he had a huge smile playing on his lips. Arthur stomped over to find out just what was going on.
"What are you doing, you-" But this time, Arthur stopped talking of his own accord. He'd been planning to berate Merlin for not maintaining a closer watch on his sister, but that was when he'd heard it- Gwen, saying his name softly in her sleep.
Arthur knelt down beside Merlin, the only person in whom he'd confided his true feelings for Guinevere.
"How long has she been… doing this?" He asked slowly. Merlin shrugged, trying not to laugh.
"About five minutes," he grinned. He looked up at the future king who, after hearing their sleeping friend say his name once more, was unable to stop a smirk from forming on his lips.
"Well, we should allow Guinevere here some much needed sleep. Let us disturb her no more," Arthur stood up. "I trust that you can keep watch over Morgana for a while?"
"Ah, of course, Sire," Merlin chuckled, not meeting his master's eye as he strolled out of the chambers, still.
I know I need a heart like the one you have.
I know I need a love like my Mom and Dad's.
I'll try to stay cool when things get bad,
And that's why I have you.
Oh, darling, I have you.
It was nighttime when Gwen awoke. She sat up in her armchair and found Merlin still sitting beside Morgana's bed. She cleared her throat and stood to let him know that she was awake.
"Sleep well?" He smiled, standing up himself. Gwen nodded and asked if anything had happened while she'd been asleep.
"Well… Morgana's pretty much the same," he said, looking around the room and anywhere but Gwen. She sensed that something was different.
"Anything else?" She searched his face for any hints as to what he was hiding.
"Oh, Arthur stopped by," he feigned remembering. Gwen raised one eyebrow. "He left these for Morgana," he motioned to a vase of fresh daisies that were sitting on the dressing table.
"Ah, I see," Gwen smiled softly. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if Arthur had seen her sleeping and about what she looked like when she was sleeping, but she pushed these vain thoughts from her mind.
"You're free to go, Merlin," she said, moving over to her previous spot beside the bed. Merlin began crossing the room to the door when he stopped and turned around.
"Perhaps you should… rearrange the flowers, hmm?" He remarked with a grin and left the room. Unsure what he could be talking about, Gwen walked over to the bright flowers and began feeling about them. Her hands struck a small slip of parchment with a few messy words scribbled on it, and her heart began to beat faster as she read them.
Meet me in front of the castle tomorrow at sunrise.
She don't know what to do,
She won't call me.
I'll never know everything,
But I know you love me.
And I don't ever lose to you,
I can't do a thing without you.
Never ever lose to you,
I can't do a thing without-
I can't do a thing without you.
Arthur had been walking back and forth along the same patch of grass in front of the castle for the last hour. It wasn't that Guinevere was late, but that he was early. It was still dark outside and quite frigid. The sun wouldn't rise for another fifteen minutes, but he was beginning to wonder if Gwen was coming at all.
He'd arranged everything so that Merlin would be able to watch Morgana when Gwen left. She wouldn't even be gone that long, but he didn't want anything to keep her from meeting him. He had several things that he needed to say to her and, as it got closer to the time when she would come and meet him, they were all fleeing from his head.
"Guinevere," he began practicing to himself. "You are the most stunning and beautiful girl that I have ever-" Arthur stopped before he could finish his sentence. His breath had been taken away for the second time in 24 hours as he saw Gwen walking down the castle steps, bundled up snugly in a coat. Her hair fell gently about her face, and her skin seemed to glow with the first light of the day.
As she walked up and stood quietly before Arthur, he was sure that nothing he had planned to say could possibly be good enough for this radiant young lady. So, he pushed all of it from his mind, all of his planning and speeches and promises that he had stayed up the entire night before creating, and kissed her.
No matter where we are,
No matter where we are,
You know everything about me.
That moment was the single greatest moment of Arthur Pendragon's life. As he pulled himself apart from his friend who could finally become so much more, he realized how much he had been missing. He had been hiding all of these feelings from everyone, from Guinevere, from himself, and now they felt as though they were going to burst out of him.
"Gwen, I can't- I don't even know what to say," he whispered. He was through hiding, and that feeling was enough to cause him to kiss her again.
"Arthur," she began after a few moments, but he quickly stopped her.
"We can do this. We can be together," he grinned, softly grabbing her shoulders. "I don't care what anyone thinks, not my father, not the people here, not anyone." She grinned and her face lit up as she leaned into him, happy.
"I swear to you, if you want this, we can do this. I've waited too long for it, and now I don't think I can go back to living without you. You mean too much to me," Arthur placed his hand on the side of Gwen's face and she reached up, holding it there.
With tears in her eyes, she nodded and embraced the boy she loved, the boy who would one day be king, the boy who would, someday, change things. He shouted out loud into the clear morning air and threw his arms around her, picking her up and spinning her around.
This was what they had both been waiting for. This was the rest of their lives.
She don't know what to do,
She'll never call me.
I'll never know everything,
But I know you love me.
And I don't ever lose to you,
I can't do a thing without you.
Never, never lose to you,
Can't do a thing without you.
I can't do a thing without you.