a/n this was a total spur of the moment thing. Haven't seen the hobbit (irrelevant but still mentioned) is it good? this story is Merry and Pippin's handbook to a hobbit's life. don't worry if you've only heard of lord of the rings or the hobbit as in this fanfic it really dosen't matter. Sorry if i spell their name's wrong. Please dont rat me out for a being a rule-breaker. THE ONLY WAY FOR THIS STORY TO BE WRITTEN WAS CHAT/SCRIPT FORMAT! I do not own the name audi, however there is no other hobbit name that really suits. i do not own lord of the rings. apart from that both enjoy and remember: what's wrote in the shire stays in the shire. ;)

Merry: This is the tale of how to survive as a Hobbit.
Pippin: Many people think being a hobbit is easy but it really, really isn't.
Merry: Not when your us anyway.
Pippin: Introduction aside merry, we've got to tell them about second breakfast. And the daring adventure we have everyday to get it.
Merry: Let's get on with it then!
Pippin: Alright, alright.
/HOBBIT'S GUIDE TO:
SECOND BREKFAST\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Farmer audi is up at exactly 9:00am everyday. (Or at least he was.) He lives in the forest on the outbrink of the Shire. To get there before he wakes up (please remember not to do the same mistake your authors did. when you get up everyday and see your kitchen is robbed, you kind of notice footprints. Merry: I will never and have never seen a cow the same way since *shudders*) you will need:
Wood
Wheels
Tools
Bilbo Baggins.
Someone with skilled crafsmanship and is up at 5:00am every morning.

When the following have helped\made a reliable, sturdy contraption get on it and do not stop going till you are on brier road. When you see a massive hill, remember to make breaks, a steering wheel, and something to help you get up that hill the next morning. Possibly rope. Climb the hill. Your kind and considerate authors have placed a sun dial at the top of it. You possibly have 3 hours left. Smash your way through corn brink (grabbing as many as you can, naturally) and hide them at the hole in willow oak. You are now in the vegetable patch. Get as much as you can get and then; carry more. Go back to the willow oak and eat your breakfast. At 10:00am (when farmer audi is chilled and feeding cows at the red pen) go back to the wilow oak with previously stashed goods and enjoy!