Written for The Acronym Challenge

Hello.

I am nony0mous.

I have gone to great extents to obtain rights to Harry Potter so I could write this story.

And it all comes down to this:

Truffles or Story.

Hmm.

Well, sorry, readers, but this isn't really a hard choice.

Chewing truffles obnoxiously and teasing you from the comfort of my home is pretty tempting.

Sorry, but amazing author that I am, I do not own Harry Potter.

P.S. Nom nom nom. Ooh, these truffles are delicious. Mmm mmm. So tasty. Oh yeah.

Thank you, Pseudonymous Bosch, for the lessons on how to annoy people.

It was Voldemort Execution Day.

Wizards and Muggles alike had traveled for weeks, some for months, to be there, at the biggest event since the last biggest event.

A stadium 5 times bigger than the one used for the Quidditch World Cup had been built.

Harry settled down in his first row seat. He bought some of Steve's Unseasoned Fries, because what is better than unseasoned fries? Nothing. Except maybe truffles.

Monsignor Monsure stepped up to begin the first of the days events.

"Voldemort!" he cried. "You are the greatest of sinners! You have killed many wizards. I am disgusted by your behavior. I remember the day when you played Mary in our play, Mary Bo Peep Lost Her Sheep. What was it that compelled you to kill the sheep? Why, Voldemort, why?

"So now, as a holy man, I must send you to your doom. You are to be cursed! With an Unforgivable Curse! Imperio!"

Voldemort was then forced to participate in a series of small sketches, including Mary Bo Peep Lost Her Sheep, So She Committed Suicide.

"Stop it! I'm going numb with pain! What did I do to deserve this?" screamed Voldemort.

18 Long Hours Of Extreme Humiliation Later...

"And now, the moment you have all been waiting for... the finale of the finale, when relief leads to negligence that begets rashness... the comeback that falters comes back and beats your pathetic comeback that I scoff at! I HATE YOU, VOLDEMORT!" yelled the announcer. "Yes... Voldemort, as punishment for the horrific crimes he has committed, will now suffer the Dementor's Kiss! We will now suck the soul out of Voldemort's body!"

A band came out to start playing The Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme).

"We have selected one Dementor from a contest... and that Dementor is... Demi Levato!"

Demi was shocked. "OMG! MOM! I won the contest! I'm going to be in So Random! We're going to Hollywood! OMG!"

Demi ran away faster than Severus Snape could take away points from Gryffindor.

"And there she goes! Guess we'll have to pick a second Dementor... who is Dementor Number 314!"

314 glided slowly to Voldemort. Seriously. He took an hour to get there.

And then he kissed Voldemort.

"HE'S DEAD! TAKE THAT, YOU EVIL SERIAL KILLER!" screamed the stadium.

"There's a cereal killer?" asked Harry nervously. "Is he the one who took away that heart on my Cheerios box? THERE'S A CEREAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE! EVERYBODY, RUN!"

There was general pandemonium, but it was nothing compared to the massive pandemonium that resulted when someone shouted, "Good Lord! He's resurrecting!

Well, I'm sorry, but this is my last chapter.

Joking!

I hope to write soon so I get even more popular. And then, we will rule the world!

At least, that's the plan.

So review, add this story to Story Alert, and then... wait.

(Keep waiting...)

(and waiting...)