A/N- Heyyyyy guys. So I've gotten a lot of emails on my Frozen story and a few on my Fruits Basket one. Really sorry about all that ^-^' Been really super busy lately and haven't had time to write anything until now. Heh, sorry it's not what you asked for. I'll get to those just as soon as I can, promise :)

But seriously. I watched Merlin and I am forever in love. And a little way too obsessed. I never watch TV so this was new for me but oh my Lord! Merlin T-T most heartbreakingly beautiful thing I have ever seen.

So anyway, hope you guys like this cause it made me sad x) Poor Merlin...

Prologue (Hopefully anyway)

Life can be lonely.

We all feel it... that nagging in the back of our mind, the pull in our heart. Something whispering when your thoughts can't find another distraction. Something telling you that there's more.

Maybe there are people out there who have found it. Who am I to categorize all the world as still searching. Who am I to say that everyone feels this same ache that I have. No one. I am no one. Maybe you have found what your heart was born craving. Maybe somehow the void has evaded you.

How fortunate those blessed must be...

I was someone once. I had found my destiny; where I belonged. The darkness that had surrounded me growing up had finally dispersed to show a brilliant light that I could never have imagined. A beautiful gift that I treasured more than anything. Though perhaps I hadn't treasured it quite enough. Maybe that is why I wasn't able to keep hold on it.

Ah. Well there's no point in remembering or regretting something from the past that can never be changed, is there? Ha, I suppose that is one lesson I keep learning time after time.

There is no going back. No restarts or magic what-ifs. Life is lonely. Fate relishes in the sorrow of our lost. Why else would it give us something more special than anything we could have ever brought upon ourselves, only to strip it away in the cruelest ways possible.

Why?

Ah, but it doesn't matter. There's no point in it anymore.

Depressing, aren't I?

It wasn't always like this. There was a time when I knew how to joke... how to smile... how to care about the ones around me. Something happened long ago that took those abilities away from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. Can't even run away from it. Heh... sad isn't it? Stuck here, to forever live out this lonely life. I'm stuck here to watch as time goes on and on without... to go on. Watching happy faces live their lives, not knowing it can never last. It never does. Not for anyone.

You're lucky though. Eventually it all ends for you. You enjoy your happy times, suffer through your depressions, and then it all ends. You can leave it all behind you, disappear into whatever is waiting on the other side.

Not me. I don't know why. I'm stuck here, unable to get away, unable to just escape the pain and fear that crippled me for years. No... no matter how much I beg or how many ways I try. Death evades me as if afraid. As if even the grimm reaper himself has seen the darkness left behind inside me, and it scares even him. Oh, how I would welcome death. It has taken everyone I care about. Why? Why! Who do you run from me? I have nothing left here!

Please... I just want to be with him again.