Stomach burn
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"Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves."
~ Joseph Addison
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Jealous? I am not jealous. Definitely absolutely not jealous. Never ever jealous. Nuh-uh. I'm not jealous. Won't approve of it. Yes sure, whenever my two friends are together closely, the pit of my stomach starts to churn in an intensifying manner that I alone, frown of its indecent state. One time I was sitting alone without them at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall with my fellow housemates, asking some of them the possible whereabouts of my best friends. They shook their heads and continued eating. I mimicked their actions, bestowing glances on the golden doors. Then for a few minutes of chewing my shepherd's pie alone, my two best friends, Ron and Hermione, came to the rescue and walked along the aisle, looking rather pleased with themselves. I smiled warmly, waiting for them to sit, but I'd noticed something different between them. They were walking in close proximity; Ron saying some brilliant joke that made Hermione giggle in a un-Hermioneish way. I didn't expect what happened next for my stomach started to crumble in pain, so I frowned, deep in thought as to why my stomach would hurt. Not the stomach ache kinds, mind you, but the terrible ones. Let's just call this – Stomach Burn, like the Heartburn. Because of the ingredients of the shepherd's pie, I concluded that there was something wrong with it or my stomach's deathly allergic to pies (because it was my first time eating). After silent moments of soliloquizing (not knowing Ron and Hermione were already seated right in front of me that they were saying my name a lot of times), Neville nudged me, asking me if I'm all right, making me turn back to reality. I shook my head bluntly and turned to where they were – they were already sitting in front of me; Hermione, shooting looks of concern and a sharp questioning gaze from Ron. I smiled warmly (which I did earlier), and shook my head again, saying that I'm fine and that there's nothing to worry about. Ron bought it, and only Hermione was uncertain enough to believe.
The very same day, due to my "stomach burn", I did my business on the boys' lavatory, earning Hermione's eyes full of concern and an arched brow from Ron. When I was finished, I returned to the Gryffindor Common Room where we were studying. Until then, I saw Ron touching Hermione's cheek, like there was a dirt or stain, though how weird it might sound, she was blushing a tint of red (it might be because of the fire, but I didn't think so), but Ron had hardly noticed it. After a while of staring the Golden Trio's Awkward Couple, my stomach started churning again. I shook my head, thinking that I'm not jealous and if it is because of the pie I ate earlier, then I would go to Madame Promfey for the first thing in the morning. They saw me for a while, and then Ron stopped whatever he was doing, rubbing his fingers on his robes awkwardly. He told me that there was dirt and she looked away hastily. I nodded, sitting and we continued what we were doing – studying and doing the assigned duties or works of our professors.
The next day, I woke up early and went to the Hospital Wing only to find out that she wasn't there, so I made a mental note to myself that I would go in the evening. Evening came, and I had forgotten what I was supposed to do. I had remembered before I slept, but I had forgotten about it the next day.
So days, weeks and months passed. And we're onto the present which is now, but something happened yesterday, so that will come first. I saw them talking and I was about to reach them. Unfortunately, none of my muscles could even move or lift itself to walk nearby the "Golden Awkward Couple" (which I dubbed by myself) because of the pain in my stomach hindered me so. I don't know what happened, but I know I better consult Snuffles or maybe … on second thought, I'll just keep this to myself. Normally because I don't want anyone to know (not even a friend or my godfather himself), that I'm having problems with my stomach concerning my two best friends are in close proximity towards one another, so anyone will think that I'm jealous – which I'm not, thank you very much for your assumptions.
Earlier, Professor McGonagall, our Head of House, has assigned us an essay about our recent feelings about these past few days. Probably, the other students will talk about Umbridge, how suck she does in teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, and how we don't need a High Inquisitor to correct Dumbledore's choice of teachers. But if you're going to ask me, it sucks blatantly. Everyone knows that after all. Even you (you just don't want to admit). But I'm not going to write about Umbridge. It's boring and it sucks. I don't want to write about a boring teacher who gets what she wants and punishes the innocent (sue me not). That's absurd. Stupid and lame. Boring and dull, and all the synonyms coinciding with it. Yes, she puts me in detention every time I say Voldemort has really come back (which is true), but these past few days, I've been a good boy and learned how to control myself whenever I'm in her class, all thanks to Hermione, of course.
But since I wrote everything from top to bottom (not realizing McGonagall would read it), I'll just cross here and there and won't be asking help from Hermione, which Ron would, and I'll rewrite it again. And now, Ron and Hermione are sitting close to one another, in close proximity, a half-inch (I don't know. I'm no good with measurements).
And there goes my stomach churning again. Completely expected. Cliché much, eh? I've excused myself from them, saying that I'm sleepy, and brought my essay along with me and tried to finish it from the end. I think I wouldn't edit this anymore, more so because I'm lazy and it's good being real.
And no. I'm not jealous. I may be in constant denial about it, if that's what you're thinking, but you would think about doing it, too, wouldn't you? You would think about saving yourself from the misery against this said 'jealousy', wouldn't you? If you would not, then we're different.
And now you're probably thinking that I'm jealous because I had just 'admitted'. Great. I didn't, okay? I'm not jealous. Never will be. They're my friends. My two great best friends for four years. I wouldn't be jealous.
I'm not jealous, really, though my heart feels a little bit sad, thinking of them together as a couple.
I shook my head. I've got to stop these thoughts of mine before they go haywire.
No, I'm not jealous. Certainly not.
I'm not jealous, right?
No. Totally not.
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Words: 1168
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