I started writing this a long time ago, and I felt I could do better, so here I am! I never finished it so i'm gonna have fun with that too! I'm going to rewrite the whole thing! Anyway, I won't keep up with this if I don't get any reviews. Even if I only have one review, I'll keep writing, but I want to have a review for every chapter.

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edward Cullen, cause if I did, he would have married ME! It's all Stephenie Meyer's!

Dead Inside and Out

Chapter 1

One Hundred Years In The Future

Edward Cullen. Those two words bring an avalanche of emotions. They also brought the biggest war vampire kind has ever seen. They destroyed clans, killed innocent mortals and immortals alike. Those two words were my first and only boyfriend. He left me alone in a forest to cry. Everything else is getting blurrier with each passing year, except for only a few memories. I do remember running through a sea of red to find him, and save him. The man I love. I was too late. He was dead. Burned to a pile of ashes. I remember my sister, Alice, begging for my life. I just wanted death, though. The Volturi were willing, but Alice wasn't. She wouldn't let me just die and have peace. She talked me into becoming a vampire and becoming a Cullen. I agreed and she bit me right there. Things were never the same. Years later, fifty years to be exact, is where our story begins. I was young, only sixty-eight. I remember then, again trying to save the man I love. But I was too late, again. As long as I knew him, he had technically been dead, but the only difference was now he was dead on the inside. He was a horrible monster, and not even I could save him. I was stubborn, though, and I didn't know when to let go. So, I guess I am part to blame for the war. But I'll save that story for the later chapters. On with the story of when I was young and foolish, not to mention... in love.

50 years after the end of New Moon

"Hey Esme?" I asked, walking into the kitchen. Lately, the kitchen has been the only safe place. Emmett stole Alice's favorite heels to get back at her for scratching his jeep. He tore up the heels and now they were wrestling in the living room.

"Hey Bell," she said with a smile. "What's wrong?" She noticed in a second that something was wrong. That's what I always loved about Esme. She could tell when someone had a problem, and she was always there to help. Even if was just advice, or anything. She'd help. "I need to get away for a little while. It's not like I don't want to be here, it's just... I need space to think, ya' know? And I won't be gone long, promise," I said, sitting down next to her. She gave me an understanding smile and said, "You still miss him. So do I. I know it's hard, honey. And I'd like to say it'll be okay, but when you're one of us, mates are one person who can never be replaced. Go, I'll tell Carlisle where you went, and I'll have Alice tell the school you're sick or something. Just be careful, okay? And call if you can." she hugged me and I walked to the back door with her following me to say one more goodbye. I hugged her again, and took one final look at my family. Emmett had Alice in a headlock, and I watched as Alice wiggled out of it, breaking Esme's antique lamp in the process. Alice grabbed Emmett around the neck and the wrestled out the front door that was held open by Rosalie. Jasper was reading the whole time. I guess he felt my mixed emotions, and he turned around and smiled. I never thought we got along all that well, but now that I'm a vampire, we're pretty close. In a sibling way. He gets me, and he helped a lot when you-know-who, hit the dust. I said my goodbye and walked out the door.

Two Days Later

After we left Forks, we moved to Colorado. It wasn't as conveniently rainy as Forks, but it worked. We stayed in Alaska for a few years, but it got pretty weird sharing a house with over ten people so we moved.

As for me, I was devastated when he died. I wouldn't leave my room, and I hate violent outbursts, then I would just calm down. Sometimes I'd laugh then start randomly crying. I thought I had gone insane. I couldn't control it, and Jasper said I was having mood swings of epic proportions. Not to mention, I was a newborn, so mood swings were part of that too. The weird thing was, that's the only newborn type thing I did. I wasn't blood crazy and the only thing I crushed was Emmett and a few rocks. But hey, Emmett deserved it.

I also have powers. The reason I have to be so careful is because the Volturi want me. Bad. They say I may be the most powerful vampire, ever. I don't want to be, though. And I only use some of my powers. Yeah, I said powers. I have two powers that are all my own: My mind shield, and the power to copy other people's powers. So far, I can read minds, see the future, put up shields around people and/or their minds, cause pain (thank you very much, Jane), see emotions, change emotions, take away things like sight and hearing or feeling ,etc, and shape shift. Shape shifting is my favorite because when I shift into that person, I have their personal characteristics. I know it's confusing but you'll get it. I love to shape shift into my human form, when I'm human I can sleep, and dream, and eat, and cry. I'm also clumsy and I blush a lot, but I've got to have some flaws.

Since I left the Cullen house I've basically just been roaming around the local forests. Once I went to a spa, in my human form of course. I've only been gone two days though. I was walking through the forest just looking around, when I smelled something. I looked around, and I could already feel them closing in on me. They were surrounding me and it's already to late to escape. I guess I could cause them as much pain as possible, then run for it, but I may not be able too if there's too many.

"Bella Cullen, correct?" said a cloaked figure coming out of the forest. "Maybe. Who are you?" I asked, crouching into a fighting stance. If I have to go, they're taking me kicking and screaming. "Yes well, I'm not fighting you. You're going to come with me, and you're not going to complain. Hello, my name is Leigh," she said, taking off her hood to reveal a young girl. Probably about sixteen, with light brunette hair with red and blue streaks in it. She had bright red eyes, but I could tell she was no newborn. She was probably only a few years younger than me. She had a power too. Her power was to levitate things, and I could tell this would come in handy. "So you're one of the Volturi's golden retrievers. Or bloody retrievers. Either way, you're their dog," I replied casually. This mad her mad as hell. She tried to throw me across the clearing with her power but I blocked it and sent it right back at her. She flew into a huge oak tree, but none of the guards made a move to help her. "Tell me Leigh: What do the Volturi want with me now? Last time they had me, they sent me away and said I wasn't allowed in Volterra again because I was too big of a threat. Now their sending a retriever to come and get me? Tell me, what do they have up their pretty red sleeves?" I said, in a mocking voice. I normally don't like being harsh like this, but something about her seemed to tick me off. The weird thing was I could smell something on her that smelled familiar. I pushed it out of my mind to focus on the girl in front of me. "They don't want a fight, Bella. The Volturi may be evil in your eyes, but they honor their promises. They just want to speak with you. They promise not to attack you or try to harm you in any way. They just want to talk," she said convincingly. "Fine, but we do this my way. Your people don't touch me, and don't crowd me. I'll follow you to however you got here, plane I'm guessing, and we'll go to Volterra," I laid down my conditions and after a few seconds Leigh nodded. I followed her to a plane, with the rest of our party trailing behind to give me some space. I got on the plane with only one look back.

In Volterra

We walked into the main chamber where Aro, Caius , and Marcus were standing to greet me. Their typical guards were there, and the closer I got to Aro's throne, the stronger the familiar scent became. "Hello, hello, Bella, dear! How are you?" Aro asked, like he really cared. I looked at the guards from ten feet away and Aro called them off and told them to step away. I stepped closer until I was right infront of him. He reached for my hand and said, "I heard that you can control the shield now. May I?" At first I yanked back so he couldn't touch it, but after a second I let him take my hand and I let my shield down. He kept saying "Mhm" and "Ahh" and "Hmm", like this was the most riveting thing ever. One of the guards, the one closest to Aro started laughing, but stopped when I looked at him. His laugh. It was familiar. Before I could think into it more, Aro came out dreamy land and said, "Well, your existence has been very interesting. He'll be interested to know you still think of him." I was dumbstruck.

"Who will be interested? Who do I still think about? What are you talking about?" I was stuttering, a human mess up that I though had gone with the heartbeat. "Bella, I would like you to meet my highest guard. Well I do believe that you've already met," he said, extending his arm towards the guard that laughed. The guard reached up and removed the cloak from his face. It was Edward! My Edward is alive and he's here! Everything is going to be okay! We're going to go surprise his family and we'll live happily ever... Wait. There was something different. He smelled different. I looked him over and stopped when I got to his eyes. They crimson. Bloody crimson. "You Son of a..." I didn't have the self control to finish my sentence. I yelled, and ran. I ran all the way out to the forests on the outskirts of Volterra. I sat down on a rock and shifted into my human form. I couldn't take this anymore! I broke down and cried. I sat there and stared straight ahead for hours. What now?

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