See You On The Other Side

Hi, I wrote this a while back but I thought I would post it anyway! This is set post Boy Valentine, Girl Valentine.

As she stood in front of the tall mirror in her dark flat, she couldn't help but want to rip her clothes off and get back into bed. Black was normally her colour of choice for clothes but today, she longed, she would have given anything to wear something bright, go into work with a smile on her face and be greeted with the enticing smile of the love of her life.

Instead she stood in a black dress and heels, awaiting the American to collect her in his car and take her to the church where she would have to say her final goodbye. Today of all days she wanted to be left alone with a bottle of vodka and her thoughts, she didn't want to hear what others thought of her Penny Valentine, she wanted to engross herself in the little memories they shared together.

She sat silently in the American's car as much as she didn't want to be there he had insisted on collecting her, partly because he was worried for her and partly because he wasn't sure if she would even turn up. After that day, Frieda hadn't been seen at work, she wasn't answering her phone or her flat door, she had completely turned herself off from the outside world, hoping that if she didn't see anybody or hear from anybody that she too could just slip away and she could be with Penny forever.

'How are you holding up?' Michael enquired in his usual abrupt tone

She just stared at him in the way she had when him and Malick had been banging on her door for 20 minutes and were close to knocking it off the hinges, she finally gave in and opened it. They found her, inebriated, still wearing the rescue jumpsuit from the crash site. She didn't want to take it off, that day was the last memory she had of her Penny. They had shared a car out to the crash and had talked most of the way there about simple, irrelevant things to fill the time dreading what they were going to find once they arrived. The final words they uttered to each other were 'see you on the other side' . These words were going round and around in Frieda's head for days, all she could think about.

'You need to be strong today not only for your sake but Penny's. She would hate to see you press the self destruct button because of her, you should be working as hard as you can to make her proud after she put her neck on the line for you' His words hit her hard, like she suddenly realised something.

'Stop the car' She commanded, the first she had spoken in days, the words stuck in her throat slightly but she knew what she wanted 'We must go to hospital, Penny need her stethoscope'

Michael looked at her as if she had completely lost her mind.

'She died doing thing she loved therefore she must have when she goes' The final word of her sentence was almost too hard for her to get out but she knew she had to be strong for Penny's sake.

They made a u-turn in the road and drove towards the familiar building, the closer they got the more anxious she became. This would be the first time since it happened that she would be back here, in a way she felt closer to her here but she also felt like she wanted to throw up, having to go back in there knowing that her Penny never would.

As she walked the familiar corridors, with Michael by her side, she saw the looks they were receiving, people knew that both of them had managed to leave the scene without her, they had forgotten about her, abandoned her to die alone. In their own ways they blamed themselves, Michael as the senior doctor should have had her back, protected her and Frieda as her best friend should have stopped her, been with her, noticed her and spend those precious last few minutes with her, but she didn't. They both thought others blamed them too.

As she walked out of the building with the green stethoscope in her hand she wasn't sure if she could actually do this, if she could stand back and watch those closest to her Penny say goodbye, it would seem all too final.

At the church she looked around as she saw lots of familiar faces from work, as well as a few she didn't know. As she made her way inside the old building and saw her Penny lying there in that box, it was final and this was when the first single tear rolled down her cheek, as it did so she felt the American squeeze her arm in a moment of comfort.

'She knew' He whispered into her ear and caught her off guard 'She knew how much you loved her and anyone could see that she loved you back' That was all he said to her and this made her break down further into tears, sobs poured from her body as she sat there, she had never felt so alone in a room full of people. As a pair of arms enveloped around her she couldn't help but not care who this was, she was glad of the comfort, she glanced up and saw the compassionate face of Sacha Levy sitting next to her, slowly letting go of her to compose himself.

The service was short and members of the family spoke, Frieda couldn't help but feel detached, she wasn't ready to say goodbye yet but was now being forced to by her surroundings, she wanted to run back to her flat and pretend that none of this had ever happened, that Penny was still off on holiday and she would be back soon and they could be together. In her heart though she knew how deluded this was.

After the burial was over, she didn't want to leave, she wanted to say goodbye on her own, in her own way without others hearing her. Michael had agreed to go and wait in the car so he could make sure she was ok, he saw this as his way of helping with a situation he almost believed he had cause, why did he let her go out there alone?

Sitting beside where her Penny rested she couldn't move, there was so much she wanted to say but didn't know how.

'Persephone, you never know how much I love you, you every movement, breath and being. Right now I wish I hold you, none of this real to me' She draped the stethoscope that she had been clutching on the burial site before continuing 'You died doing what you love, I going to make you proud, you help me so much so I doing this for you from now. I always love you and never forget you, my heart will never heal, always longing for you. You always be my Penny Valentine. See you on the other side'

With that she stood up and walked away, knowing that she whatever she did now, it was going to be for the woman she loved and she was going to make her proud.

Thanks for reading :) please comment, good or bad!