Disclaimer: Everything from HP books belongs to JK Rowling
Wish
You sometimes dream about what life would be like if you weren't who you are. Would you be happier, sadder, and if possible more pathetic? Would you have hordes of people surrounding you to tell you how wonderful and beautiful you are or would you be more secluded than now without even your awkward mind for company? You sometimes wish for a different life, to be someone else, and always end up reprimanding yourself afterwards because wishing never leads to anything good. If there's one truth you live by it's that life can always get worse if given the opportunity.
You're not cynical although it sometimes feels as if you are. You're just sad and deeply confused. You don't understand why it's you that people don't like, why you're the one who is always on the outside looking. You often wonder what you did to your peers to make them feel the distaste they have for you. You sit up sometimes way into the night thinking of possible circumstances that would have aroused this mild animosity. You've never been able to come to your conclusion, and even now you still wonder what it is you did wrong.
What you did wrong though was that you were born. Your simple existence is the cause for their slandering of your good name and the quieted laughter that often follows you when you walk down the hallway. You can't begin to fathom what about you turns them off so much. You don't understand it's your strange ideas about life and death and that people find it annoying how you're always quoting that magazine your father prints. You don't understand that fact that everyone in Hogwarts is too simple minded to comprehend you and too lazy to even try. People you know, even those just by sight, don't think it's worth their time to get to know you and it's the worst mistake they could ever make.
Someone would be lucky to be your friend. You're so compassionate in this age of indifference and so real in this era of falseness. You care so much for everybody and cherish life beyond all else. You're the epitome of innocence and childish behavior. That's not always a good thing though. Innocence is your reason for the pain you always live with; the reason pessimism is taking over your body. You haven't grown much from the child you were before Hogwarts when you thrived in the attention your father bestowed on you. For you life could be so simple. You give so much and ask for way less and you could be an extremely happy person, but the people surround have made that impossible, haven't they? They've shown you that your father lied to you at the train station when he said it was impossible for everyone to not love you, and when you were seven and asked him if a boy like the Prince in the stories would fall in love with you he lied and said yes. But it's your innocence that still holds fast to those lies. In a way they keep you going.
You often sit in the Great Hall staring at all the beautiful girls with their long, straight hair and sparkling eyes. You often ask yourself why you can't be like them with more friends than you know what to do with and boyfriends galore. Why can't you be popular? And even if it's against your better judgment you often wish for a different life one where you could be totally different from who you are now. You know what the consequences are from that wish. You know that if it were to come true that outcome could be disastrous. You could be mean or superficial or even dead. Sometimes, though, you think that maybe the world would be a better place if you were dead. You sometimes wonder if everyone would be happier without Luna "Loony" Lovegood around whispering nonsense into their ears.
End
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