Revolving Walls
Chapter 1
Landslide
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, it's just wishful thinking. This is a storyline that has been in my mind for a little while now. I wanted to write a fic focusing more on Elizabeth and her thoughts and feelings etc. In my point of view, she is a very interesting character and I wanted to explore the many sides of her. This is a rather surprising storyline that could shock a few. It may at first seem unbelievable but as you read on, hopefully you can see how believable it actually is. Spoilers for Season 8, especially the episode 'Damage Is Done' which is where this chaper begins. Enjoy!!
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Till the landslide brought me down
( Landslide by Stevie Nicks )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I reflect on the past couple of months, I sigh with great regret at the choices I made. The selfish, silly decisions I stupidly made without any real thought or consideration for the consequences of my actions. It's ironic that awoman of my intelligence can dominate a heart and lung transplant in the operating room time and time again, but isn't capable of sorting out her own personal affairs. As I sit here in silence aboard the aircraft lovingly cradling Ella in my arms, I try to make sense of my course of action. Pondering what could have happened if I chosen a different path to travel down, if I has said or done this instead of that. My mind is full of pointless what ifs. I brush a strand of my curly hair behind my ear and lean forward to glance out the small, square window. I lose count of how long I sit like this, staring blankly at the mass of white clouds below me. Minutes, hours, god only knows. How I wish I could turn back the hands of time to correct the mistakes I made. But I can't, it's as painfully simple as that. This burden of guilt will stay by my side until the day I eventually die. I'm not travelling to England to try and escape the mess I've left behind, but to carve out a new life for myself and my daughter. It's what Mark would have wanted, I'm certain of that fact. My name is Elizabeth Corday, and this is my sad tale.
Damage Is Done
She kept on believing that this was simply nothing more than a bad dream. That she would wake up in the safety of Mark's embrace to hear Ella's screams and wails of hunger. But when she casted her eyes upon her daughter's tiny, lifeless body in the PICU, Elizabeth remembered that it was reality. The English surgeon rested her trembling, icy hand upon Ella's pale cheek, stroking the soft, smooth flesh lovingly as her eyes ran up and down the wires and machines the baby was currently hooked up to. She quickly lost count of exactly how many wires surrounded her precious child, too many. Her tired, weary eyes focused on the small face betraying no expression at all. It was hard to imagine that she could never see Ella laugh or smile again. The whole situation seemed so unreal. That morning she lay ill in bed with the flu, tonight she sits alone in a drakened room of the PICU, waiting to see if her daughter would recover from a near fatal amphetamine overdose. Overdose. Ella wasn't even one year old yet! How could Rachel possibly be so careless as to leave ecstasy tablets lying around her bedroom when a young baby is there? She's fourteen for christ's sake, she shouldn't even be doing drugs in the first place! The second Elizabeth caught sight of her standing outside the trauma room, she swore she could have strangled her with her bare hands. She had allowed Rachel to live with herself and Mark, she had endured the endless disputes and arguments the teenager had caused, and then her baby daughter's life had been endangered because of the irresponsible teen. Her own flesh and blood had nearly been taken away because of some brat's carelessness. Okay, so perhaps Rachel didn't leave the ecstasy tablets lying around on purpose but Elizabeth was consumed with rage and hatred. And Mark was seemingly pretending that his precious Rachel hadn't committed any real crime. He obviously forgets that Ella nearly died tonight. Did he actually expect her to listen to that brat's excuses when she nearly snatched the life away of her baby? The female surgeon refused to play hapy familes anymore. Her child was her life, she refused to pretend everything was rosy.
"It's either her or us Mark" she whispered softly, stroking Ella's cheek as she spoke.
It was time for Mark to make a decision of who beared more importance in his life. Things would never be fine again. Never.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Elizabeth" a male voice whispered as the woman slowly awoke from her slumber. "Lizzie" he rested his hand on her shoulder and shook it lightly.
"What?" she groaned with exhaustion, forcing her eyes open when remembered the horrific events of the past couple of hours. A mild wave of dizziness and nausea passed over the mother as her head jerked upwards to quickly check on Ella. Thankfully her daughter was still by her side, thankfully still alive. She ran a hand through her tangled, greasy hair before finally meeting the man's concerned stare.
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep" Robert apologised sincerely, his voice oddly comforting to Elizabeth at this moment in time. "I've brought you dinner" he continued, brandishing a brown paper bag which he placed carefully on the small night-stand. "It's just coffee and some bagels, muffins......no three course meal and champagne I'm afraid"
She laughed lightly at his attempts to humour her, it was nice to see Robert acted just the same in any sitaution. Yet his sarcasm brought some much needed sanity to this whole mess. It was oddly comforting. "Thank you" she finally replied, rather touched and taken aback that he had gone to all the trouble to order some food for her.
"How is she?" he referred to Ella, taking a seat beside Elizabeth. "She's stable at the moment on fifty percent oxygen, lungs are still wet though"
"Her condition's improving, should be able to extubate first thing tomorrow morning. It's good news"
Elizabeth nodded at the male surgeon's words, pleased by the fact they brought some sort of comfort to her. Deep down she could sense he was very hopeful for Ella, he wasn't simply lying to try and reassure her. For the first time in her life, she was thankful Robert Romano was there with her. It was strange to find support and comfort from the man she had long since despised.
"And where's Mark?" he suddenly asked harshly, breaking the long pause of ackward silence between the pair.
"With her" she answered coldly, bitter by the fact that her husband was choosing to spend time with the one person who was resposible for Ella's critical condition.
"She's his daughter........"
"And this is Mark's other daughter!" she interrupted, throwing her hands in the air in anger. "He hasn't even phoned the police yet" she spoke quietly, returning her attention to Ella. "I don't expeect he ever will. I mean does he actually exepect me to speak with Rachel after everything she has done? What the bloody hell am I supposed to say to her? It's alright pumpkin, you nearly killed my daughter but everything is just fine and dandy!"
"I don't think anyone could expect you to face her after what has just happened" Robert agreed with the woman, filling her with some hope that at least one person was on her side of the argument. The pair stared at each other for a handful of seconds, studying each others faces before finally looking away.
"This doesn't happen in real life" Elizabeth laughed bitterly, shaking her head in confusion. "It's like a plot from a family drama, not Elizabeth Corday's life"
"I'm afraid it is real life" Robert replied, his tone of voice barely louder than a whisper. "But Ella's strong, just like her mother" he mumbled those last four words under his breath, not realising she still heard them clearly. He rested his hand upon the female surgeon's, giving it a quick reassuring before standing up to leave. She watched him exit by the door, the harsh light from the outside corridor pouring into the small room before darkness enveloped the tired, emotional woman. Once again she sat alone. A part of her so desperately wanted to follow Romano and ask him to stay by her side for another ten minutes or so. Just for a little while, just so she wouldn't have to sit alone. Why do I suddenly wish Robert Romano to be here for me, she sighed in exhaustion. It should be Mark comforting me, not him. But Robert's words of support meant the world to her. He had been there for her when she needed someone the most.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Elizabeth sat in the eerie darkness with her arm laid protectively over Ella's tiny, fragile body. There was absolutely no way she could sleep at the moment. She was frightened to take her eyes off her baby for a second. The last time she looked away, she woke to find her baby had swallowed an ecstasy tablet. So Elizabeth simply sat and watched her child sleep, knowing that Ella wasn't actually sleeping despite her wished and prayers. Light flooded in as the PICU door swung open and heavy footsteps clicked noisely along the concrete floor.
"I can take over for a while" Mark offered calmly, placing his arm around his wife's trembling body.
"No" she gritted her teeth before shaking him of angrily. "I've stayed here this long, why move now?"
"You should get some rest, you're still ill" he lectured, reaching out to feel her forehead.
"And our daughter's still ill" she spat in rage, glaring at him furiously. "One of us has to stay by her side Mark. We can't all take trips down to the cafeteria with Rachel!"
"Elizabeth what do you expect me to do? Allow her to wander round the ER alone?" he asked in a puzzled tone, shrugging his shoulders in confusion.
"I don't care what you do anymore Mark" the surgeon sighed sadly, resting her head beside Ella's chest.
The same footsteps travelled back along the floor before the PICU door opened and shut with a violent slam. She was alone again. Surrunded by nothing more than miserable darkness, Elizabeth held her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks like an avalanche of snow. She wasn't even sure what exactly she was crying about. The fact her nine month year old daughter was at death's door? The fact that her marriage was crumbling down before her very eyes? Or the fact she was pining for the man who had given her nothing but grief over the past four years? Elizabeth Corday's life was crashing down in flames and she felt powerless to stop it. The landslide had officially begun. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: I apologise if chapter one was a little slow, it's the stepping stone for future chapters and the beginning of the main storyline. I know probably a few of you are thinking that our Lizzie wouldn't want Romano there but he provided comfort when she needed it the most. She wanted reassurance which Mark wasn't there to provide. Romano listened to her when Mark was busy with Rachel, the one responsible for Ella's condition. Before people flame me, I don't hate Mark, this is just an interesting twist I thought of to the Liz/Mark/Rachel/Ella storyline. Okay so the title of the fic is taken from the song 'Revolving Walls' by the Painted ID, and the chapter's title is taken from the song 'Landslide' by Stevie Nicks. So will Mark and Elizabeth's marriage collapse? Will Ella survive? What will happen to Rachel? What will come of Elizabeth's longing for a certain surgeon's comfort? Do you want me to continue, please tell me so. Feedback is very much appreciated!!
Chapter 1
Landslide
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, it's just wishful thinking. This is a storyline that has been in my mind for a little while now. I wanted to write a fic focusing more on Elizabeth and her thoughts and feelings etc. In my point of view, she is a very interesting character and I wanted to explore the many sides of her. This is a rather surprising storyline that could shock a few. It may at first seem unbelievable but as you read on, hopefully you can see how believable it actually is. Spoilers for Season 8, especially the episode 'Damage Is Done' which is where this chaper begins. Enjoy!!
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Till the landslide brought me down
( Landslide by Stevie Nicks )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I reflect on the past couple of months, I sigh with great regret at the choices I made. The selfish, silly decisions I stupidly made without any real thought or consideration for the consequences of my actions. It's ironic that awoman of my intelligence can dominate a heart and lung transplant in the operating room time and time again, but isn't capable of sorting out her own personal affairs. As I sit here in silence aboard the aircraft lovingly cradling Ella in my arms, I try to make sense of my course of action. Pondering what could have happened if I chosen a different path to travel down, if I has said or done this instead of that. My mind is full of pointless what ifs. I brush a strand of my curly hair behind my ear and lean forward to glance out the small, square window. I lose count of how long I sit like this, staring blankly at the mass of white clouds below me. Minutes, hours, god only knows. How I wish I could turn back the hands of time to correct the mistakes I made. But I can't, it's as painfully simple as that. This burden of guilt will stay by my side until the day I eventually die. I'm not travelling to England to try and escape the mess I've left behind, but to carve out a new life for myself and my daughter. It's what Mark would have wanted, I'm certain of that fact. My name is Elizabeth Corday, and this is my sad tale.
Damage Is Done
She kept on believing that this was simply nothing more than a bad dream. That she would wake up in the safety of Mark's embrace to hear Ella's screams and wails of hunger. But when she casted her eyes upon her daughter's tiny, lifeless body in the PICU, Elizabeth remembered that it was reality. The English surgeon rested her trembling, icy hand upon Ella's pale cheek, stroking the soft, smooth flesh lovingly as her eyes ran up and down the wires and machines the baby was currently hooked up to. She quickly lost count of exactly how many wires surrounded her precious child, too many. Her tired, weary eyes focused on the small face betraying no expression at all. It was hard to imagine that she could never see Ella laugh or smile again. The whole situation seemed so unreal. That morning she lay ill in bed with the flu, tonight she sits alone in a drakened room of the PICU, waiting to see if her daughter would recover from a near fatal amphetamine overdose. Overdose. Ella wasn't even one year old yet! How could Rachel possibly be so careless as to leave ecstasy tablets lying around her bedroom when a young baby is there? She's fourteen for christ's sake, she shouldn't even be doing drugs in the first place! The second Elizabeth caught sight of her standing outside the trauma room, she swore she could have strangled her with her bare hands. She had allowed Rachel to live with herself and Mark, she had endured the endless disputes and arguments the teenager had caused, and then her baby daughter's life had been endangered because of the irresponsible teen. Her own flesh and blood had nearly been taken away because of some brat's carelessness. Okay, so perhaps Rachel didn't leave the ecstasy tablets lying around on purpose but Elizabeth was consumed with rage and hatred. And Mark was seemingly pretending that his precious Rachel hadn't committed any real crime. He obviously forgets that Ella nearly died tonight. Did he actually expect her to listen to that brat's excuses when she nearly snatched the life away of her baby? The female surgeon refused to play hapy familes anymore. Her child was her life, she refused to pretend everything was rosy.
"It's either her or us Mark" she whispered softly, stroking Ella's cheek as she spoke.
It was time for Mark to make a decision of who beared more importance in his life. Things would never be fine again. Never.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Elizabeth" a male voice whispered as the woman slowly awoke from her slumber. "Lizzie" he rested his hand on her shoulder and shook it lightly.
"What?" she groaned with exhaustion, forcing her eyes open when remembered the horrific events of the past couple of hours. A mild wave of dizziness and nausea passed over the mother as her head jerked upwards to quickly check on Ella. Thankfully her daughter was still by her side, thankfully still alive. She ran a hand through her tangled, greasy hair before finally meeting the man's concerned stare.
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep" Robert apologised sincerely, his voice oddly comforting to Elizabeth at this moment in time. "I've brought you dinner" he continued, brandishing a brown paper bag which he placed carefully on the small night-stand. "It's just coffee and some bagels, muffins......no three course meal and champagne I'm afraid"
She laughed lightly at his attempts to humour her, it was nice to see Robert acted just the same in any sitaution. Yet his sarcasm brought some much needed sanity to this whole mess. It was oddly comforting. "Thank you" she finally replied, rather touched and taken aback that he had gone to all the trouble to order some food for her.
"How is she?" he referred to Ella, taking a seat beside Elizabeth. "She's stable at the moment on fifty percent oxygen, lungs are still wet though"
"Her condition's improving, should be able to extubate first thing tomorrow morning. It's good news"
Elizabeth nodded at the male surgeon's words, pleased by the fact they brought some sort of comfort to her. Deep down she could sense he was very hopeful for Ella, he wasn't simply lying to try and reassure her. For the first time in her life, she was thankful Robert Romano was there with her. It was strange to find support and comfort from the man she had long since despised.
"And where's Mark?" he suddenly asked harshly, breaking the long pause of ackward silence between the pair.
"With her" she answered coldly, bitter by the fact that her husband was choosing to spend time with the one person who was resposible for Ella's critical condition.
"She's his daughter........"
"And this is Mark's other daughter!" she interrupted, throwing her hands in the air in anger. "He hasn't even phoned the police yet" she spoke quietly, returning her attention to Ella. "I don't expeect he ever will. I mean does he actually exepect me to speak with Rachel after everything she has done? What the bloody hell am I supposed to say to her? It's alright pumpkin, you nearly killed my daughter but everything is just fine and dandy!"
"I don't think anyone could expect you to face her after what has just happened" Robert agreed with the woman, filling her with some hope that at least one person was on her side of the argument. The pair stared at each other for a handful of seconds, studying each others faces before finally looking away.
"This doesn't happen in real life" Elizabeth laughed bitterly, shaking her head in confusion. "It's like a plot from a family drama, not Elizabeth Corday's life"
"I'm afraid it is real life" Robert replied, his tone of voice barely louder than a whisper. "But Ella's strong, just like her mother" he mumbled those last four words under his breath, not realising she still heard them clearly. He rested his hand upon the female surgeon's, giving it a quick reassuring before standing up to leave. She watched him exit by the door, the harsh light from the outside corridor pouring into the small room before darkness enveloped the tired, emotional woman. Once again she sat alone. A part of her so desperately wanted to follow Romano and ask him to stay by her side for another ten minutes or so. Just for a little while, just so she wouldn't have to sit alone. Why do I suddenly wish Robert Romano to be here for me, she sighed in exhaustion. It should be Mark comforting me, not him. But Robert's words of support meant the world to her. He had been there for her when she needed someone the most.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Elizabeth sat in the eerie darkness with her arm laid protectively over Ella's tiny, fragile body. There was absolutely no way she could sleep at the moment. She was frightened to take her eyes off her baby for a second. The last time she looked away, she woke to find her baby had swallowed an ecstasy tablet. So Elizabeth simply sat and watched her child sleep, knowing that Ella wasn't actually sleeping despite her wished and prayers. Light flooded in as the PICU door swung open and heavy footsteps clicked noisely along the concrete floor.
"I can take over for a while" Mark offered calmly, placing his arm around his wife's trembling body.
"No" she gritted her teeth before shaking him of angrily. "I've stayed here this long, why move now?"
"You should get some rest, you're still ill" he lectured, reaching out to feel her forehead.
"And our daughter's still ill" she spat in rage, glaring at him furiously. "One of us has to stay by her side Mark. We can't all take trips down to the cafeteria with Rachel!"
"Elizabeth what do you expect me to do? Allow her to wander round the ER alone?" he asked in a puzzled tone, shrugging his shoulders in confusion.
"I don't care what you do anymore Mark" the surgeon sighed sadly, resting her head beside Ella's chest.
The same footsteps travelled back along the floor before the PICU door opened and shut with a violent slam. She was alone again. Surrunded by nothing more than miserable darkness, Elizabeth held her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks like an avalanche of snow. She wasn't even sure what exactly she was crying about. The fact her nine month year old daughter was at death's door? The fact that her marriage was crumbling down before her very eyes? Or the fact she was pining for the man who had given her nothing but grief over the past four years? Elizabeth Corday's life was crashing down in flames and she felt powerless to stop it. The landslide had officially begun. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: I apologise if chapter one was a little slow, it's the stepping stone for future chapters and the beginning of the main storyline. I know probably a few of you are thinking that our Lizzie wouldn't want Romano there but he provided comfort when she needed it the most. She wanted reassurance which Mark wasn't there to provide. Romano listened to her when Mark was busy with Rachel, the one responsible for Ella's condition. Before people flame me, I don't hate Mark, this is just an interesting twist I thought of to the Liz/Mark/Rachel/Ella storyline. Okay so the title of the fic is taken from the song 'Revolving Walls' by the Painted ID, and the chapter's title is taken from the song 'Landslide' by Stevie Nicks. So will Mark and Elizabeth's marriage collapse? Will Ella survive? What will happen to Rachel? What will come of Elizabeth's longing for a certain surgeon's comfort? Do you want me to continue, please tell me so. Feedback is very much appreciated!!