Help! My Boyfriend's An…Alien?
Summary: The Tallest have given Zim, a greatly respected Invader a secret mission to infiltrate a mysterious planet called 'Earth'. In hopes of using it's resources to fuel their next war effort; Operation Impending Doom 2! Zim accepts this mission without question, thinking this assignment will be a simple walk in the park, after all taking over this pathetic planet should be easy! Right?
Author's Notes: This Story is A ZADR AU of The original Invader Zim TV Series that aired on nickelodeon where Zim is actually a well-respected and successful invader, who is loved by his leaders, and his people. He has a good disguise and fits in perfectly with the humans, and befriends Dib, and lives a double life while trying to keep his secret under wraps.
Disclaimers: I do not own Invader Zim
FYI: Zim is not short in this AU he is average human height. Also All characters are aged up for obvious reasons. So just think of invader Zim happening in high school instead of grade school. I wanted to write a story with a smart respected Zim, and give my readers a feel for what the series would have been like if Zim wasn't defective, and was actually appreciated for his loyalty, and tireless efforts. I also added a little ZADR twist because who doesn't like ZADR? Also, this is different from my Prince AU series. Zim is just a regular Irken in this story with no royal heritage.
Anyways thanks for reading and please enjoy!
Chapter 1: So It Begins
(Somewhere in Space...)
Today was a very exciting day for the people of Irk.
For today the Tallest, their mighty leaders would once again bring back a since of purpose; and meaning to their existence.
The Great Assigning!
Today four lucky Invaders would be assigned with infiltrating the next unlucky planets to fall under the Armadas relentless, and merciless wrath.
And they would be chosen here at Conventia, the Convention Hall planet.
Invader Zim grimaced at the sight of the planet before him hovering there with a metallic ring surrounding it's pinkish/purple form as clouds swirled around. Out of all the planets of Irk he hated this one the most, simply because it seemed to be a bit too over crowed for his taste. "Gir, we're here." The Invader informed his S.I.R unit.
G.I.R was Zim's Standard, Information Retrieval Unit, one that Zim had created himself by hand. Unfortunately, the robot was made in Zim's younger, and unexperienced years resulting the S.I.R to be crafted out of old, and faulty parts. This of course cause the bot to malfunction on a regular bases, a problem that Zim was still trying to fix at times. He knows he could get himself a new one, but to him Gir is more than a robot, he's a constant companion. Every mission he had ever taken had been accompanied by Gir, and the robot's memory drive was simply not combatable with the newer S.I.R models.
So Zim had to make do with what he had in order to keep Gir, this of course was a task he did without complaints…on most days.
"Those rings remind me of onions." Gir stated. "Master are you getting me onion rings!?"
"No Gir, no snacks." Zim lectured. "Those rings are Irken made." He explained to the robot. "They are teleporters to the planet's surface."
As he spoke, the ring in question shot out a purple color laser at them and beamed them to the ship docking bay where many ships were already docked. The ships were All similar in design…with the same insignia on the front: a black Irken skull that was triangular in shape with rounded, oval eyes. Zim parks his own ship, and together he And Gir enter the ocean of soldiers.
The invader wanted to go unnoticed, but with his reputation, and his height, that was impossible. At the height of 5 foot nine inches, Zim was tall for most Irkens, and on Irk height equaled power. However, his height alone was not the only thing the Invader had going for him. The Irken had also taken over twice as many planets then most invaders who were twice his age or more; and he had the medals, and respect to prove it.
In fact, some would even argue that with his impressive track record, and superior height that the Irken Zim would one day succeed the Tallest!
"Look its Invader Zim!" a fellow soldier pointed his way.
Several Irkens who were dwarf compared to him came running up to him in awe.
"Sir, let me just say it's an honor to finally meet you." A young recruit with large orange eyes stated.
"Yeah that's great now move!" Zim spatted, plowing through them all. Sure, he liked being praised, but only by those who's opinion actually mattered. Like Generals, and the Tallest, not these worthless ingrates.
"HI, HI!" Gir shouted and waved at everyone they passed.
"Gir knock it off already!" Zim ordered.
Gir giggles as a large holo-vid screen floats beside them. A rather tall Irken with a metallic helmet and a single red "eye" in the front was speaking. "Welcome brave Irken soldiers!" He announced. "Welcome to Conventia…the Convention Planet! Please if you have not done so already, proceed to the docking bay and take the complimentary teleporters to the planet's surface! Be sure while you're here to visit the gift shop for cheap, useless stuff!" The announcer said cheerfully. "If you're here for the Great Assigning, remember where you parked and please proceed to the Main Convention Hall!"
A throbbing, HUGE crowd was slowly marching towards the Main Convention Hall of Conventia. Zim did his best to breeze through them, dragging Gir along for the ride. The dumb robot was constantly getting distracted by everything, and still with all his flaws Zim could not find the strength to dump him in the trash heaps.
Gir clapped his hands as a funny little red robotic animal appeared at the main gateway that led to the main hall, cheerfully exclaiming "Galactic Conquest is near" as he waved his arms.
At last they made it through the gates and into the main hall where they all assembled. A sea of green with maroon, blue, purple, pink and other colors of eyes gazing up at a round, metallic platform that had red lightning splitting the air from it to the ceiling. It was time…the Great Assigning.
"And now…" The announcer spoke up once again. "Wiggle your antennae in salute because here they are! Your all-knowing…all-powerful leaders…the Almightyyyy Tallest!"
One by one locks on the metallic platform opened up…a nervous and dirty-looking Irken named Skoodge gulped. He had had a bad feeling about this day mostly because he always got the worst of the assignments. Still at least he got an assignment. Besides, the Tallest would know what's best. ..Right?
And suddenly there they were, appearing to their people as the top ring of the metallic platform that rose up into the air. Orbs of metal shot out, shooting red beams of light around like it was a disco, and the Irken soldiers cheered as the Tallest descended from the top ring…
"Thank you! Thank you!" Purple said happily, waving to them all.
Red grinned smugly and poked Purple in the side with his arm. "See? TOLD YOU they'd like the lasers!" He whispered, grinning.
"Everything is always LASERS with you!" Purple muttered as a large holo-vid display screen as set up behind the floating ring that was carrying them down. "I'm telling you, SMOKE MACHINES are what the people really-" Just then he took a laser to the eye and fell on his back, groaning. This only served to make the Irken soldiers cheer LOUDER.
Zim shook his head, those two always had to be so flashy. He smiled it was nice to see that his oldest, and closest friends hadn't changed in his absence.
Red calmly smiled and addressed the crowd. "Welcome, mighty Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken Army has to offer!" He pointed with one claw. "Good for you." He said quietly.
"Standing behind us however…" Purple said, gesturing behind him to the four awaiting Invaders as Red stood back up. "Are the soldiers we've chosen for roles in one of the most crucial parts of Operation Impending Doom II!"
Now a large display of the galaxy appeared on the holo-vid screen behind the Tallest and the soldiers that were behind them. The crowd roared in glee, hands waving in the air.
"You in the audience just get to sit and watch." Red remarked.
"You should have tried HARDER." Purple added.
Zim smirked, not feeling a speck of jealousy for the Invaders that stood behind his leaders. For their assignments were most likely a cake walk compared to what the Tallest usually had in mind for him. His assignments were always on the more challenging side, and Zim liked it that way. In all honesty though he wasn't sure why the Tallest had invited him, since he was not a part of the great assigning himself. No, Zim had just recently finished infiltrating the Irken resistance front. A group of Irken hating rebels whose planets had failed victim to Operation Impending Doom 1!
Zim's job had been to go in as a member of the Gulars, a race of horned beast, and destroy the resistance from the inside out. Of course, he was successful, however the lengthily mission caused him to miss the trial competition for the placing of the roles in the Great Assigning.
And since he didn't attend the trail, he was not official apart of Operation Impending Doom 2.
So why was he here?
What crazy, and risky mission did they have in mind for him this time?
"These superior soldiers…" Red continued to speak, gesturing at the Invaders before them.
"Though not a superior as US!" Purple interjected.
"DUH!" Red pointed out as if it was obvious. "These less superior than us but still QUITE superior soldiers will each be assigned to an enemy planet!" Red crowed, grinning evilly.
Purple turned to face the soldiers and addressed them, a grin of his own appearing on his face. "There…you will blend in with the hideous native inhabitants!"
"All while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses and making it vulnerable to our big…" Red faltered for a second, trying to find the right word. "Spaceship…gang!"
"The Armada!" Purple snapped, looking rather annoyed with Red's lack of information about the fleet that rained fiery doom down on all their enemies.
Zim chuckled, Red always forgot things under pressure, some things never change.
"Now…let the assigning begin!" Purple announced.
"…woo!" One Invader from the back said, punching the sky. The Tallest smiled, appreciating this little outburst.
"Step forward Invader Larb." Purple asked, pointing at one Irken with a rather tall, square-like head.
Larb trembled slightly in nervousness, then stepped onto the pod. A ramp then extended from the disk that the Tallest stood on to the pod and Larb ran up the ramp.
"Ah, you seem to have GROWN since the last time we saw you, soldier!" Red told him, smiling in an almost kind fashion.
"You've been assigned to the Planet Blorch." Purple said, gesturing towards the screen. "Home of the Slaughtering Rat People!" He told the invader cheerfully as he gestures to the holo screen. It showed a very frightened Larb being surrounded by large, fang-toothed rats that were about to eat him alive.
"Why would you draw THAT?!" Larb sobbed, pointing at the screen as tears filled his eyes.
But then his salvation came!
"HOWEVER…" Red spoke up. "Due to your increased height, we have instead decided to give you Planet Vort…home to the universe's most comfortable couch!"
Now a picture of Larb reclining happily on a couch appeared.
"YESSSSS!" Larb said, doing an air-punch. Purple handed him a metallic assignment sheet and Larb ran off to go to his ship, happily grinning.
See, this was Invader Zim's point altogether.
The Vorts were a race of way to trusting people, with a comfortable couch.
There for this mission was far too easy for Zim's taste, pure Child's play!
Zim, hated easy assignments, and was insulted by the fact that most of his fellow Irkens preferred them. No, the easy route was never enough for him. Zim loved to be in the mist of battle, with an adversary that actually had a chance at stopping him.
Yes, the thrill of a worthy challenge, that's what Zim longed for, however the Irken had yet to find an enemy that fit the bill; which was depressing to say the least. And while he did the more challenging assignments the Tallest had to offer, they still left him feeling empty inside. This of course, was mostly because the mission itself turned out to be easier then he had hoped.
Zim sighed, it was depressing how high his standers were sometimes, but was it really his fault that even the most life threatening missions still left him wanting for just a little bit more?
"Next!" Purple announced. "Invader Spleen!"
Another Invader appeared, with a VERY big and tall head, and the Tallest looked him over, they went "ooh" at the sight of his large head.
"You have been assigned the Planet, Zorgon." Red said once he could find the words to speak. "Home to the largest electrical energy source in the known galaxy."
Zim perked up with interest, now this was a mission worth his time, one he probably would have gotten if not for him missing the Trail.
"Next Invader Tenn!" Purple went on.
A female Irken with purple eyes walked up to her leaders.
"Invader Ten as the highest scoring female in the collective you have been assigned to the planet Meekrob." Red informed her. "The planet of wisdom, and rich history. Learn from them, and steal all their knowledge for our cause."
"Yes my Tallest." Ten said with a bow.
"And last…Invader Skoodge!" Purple announced.
The fat, squat little Invader with a dirty outfit appeared before them, looking up at them with a mixture of expectancy and fear.
"Oh that's just sad." Red remarked, shaking his head.
"Could you GET any shorter?" Purple asked in an infuriated tone.
Poor Skoodge looked like he was going to cry. His lip quivered.
Zim snickered, Skoodge was perhaps the biggest laughing stock of the entire Irken Race. And rightfully so, anything that short should be labeled defective and wiped from existence.
However, why the Tallest hadn't done so already still irked him to this day.
"And I'm afraid you will be assigned to Blorch, home of the slaughtering rat people." Red told him. Then he waved Skoodge off. "Thank you, now go away."
Skoodge fell to his knees in horror.
"Thus, concludes the Great Assigning!" Red announced. "Now all you moochers go help yourselves to the nachos are something." He said to the audience.
"Yeah! Gorge yourselves, ya moochers!" Purple spoke up.
"Invaders!" Red cut in. "Report to the equipment hall! And remember…lasers!"
THWOOM!
Another laser hit Purple in the eye. He screamed and fell back down to the ground, groaning. Red chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "The universe will be ours for the taking! It's only a matter of time before all the races of the universe serve…the IRKEN EMPIRE!" Red crowed, his eyes meeting with Zim's.
Zim smiled, and saluted him with his antenna.
Red nodded, and signaled for him to follow them as their metallic pedestal rose back up from where it had come.
Zim pushed through the crowd and jumped up onto the platform just before it came out of reach.
Purple smiled at the sight of him. "Aw Zim I trust you made it back home without too much trouble."
Zim returned the smile. "Yes, my Tallest, but I was surprised to receive your invitation." He admitted. "After all I did not attend the Trail."
"Yes, well it's a good thing you didn't." Red informed him.
"Really why?" Zim asked, curious now.
"Because we have a special mission for you." Purple spoke lowly.
"Special?" Zim asked.
"Yes, A secret mission that if not carried out properly could end in the failure of Operation Impending Doom 2." Red said gravely.
A large smile slowly formed on Zim's face.
A Secret Mission...?
Perhaps this was the thrill he was looking for. Perhaps finally, after so many years of searching Zim would have an assignment worth of his time, and fearless adversary to match.
Yes, finally Invader Zim would get the challenge he so rightfully deserved.
Meanwhile,
Far, far away in a distant, and unknown galaxy was a back water planet called Earth.
On this planet, atop a roof was a boy in his late teens with a scythe-like protrusion of black hair on his head. He wore glasses, a black jacket, black pants and shoes, with a blue emoji shirt. The boy looked up from his computer, the transmission coming through the headphones he was wearing had filled him with horror. His name was Dib Membrane, son of Prof. Dibson Membrane, a world-famous genius in the field of science. A field he hopped his son would one day join.
But sadly, much to his father's dismay Dib was obsessed with the paranormal, and wanted to become a paranormal investigator, and now that he had actual proof maybe his father would see the meaning to his work!
"They're COMING…" He whispered…
He quickly ran towards the end of the roof he was on and leapt down, grabbing onto a pipe and swirling around it as he raced towards the ground. Inside, a purple-haired, Gothically-dressed 16 year old girl frowned as she opened up the fridge. Her skull necklace hung down like her frown. Her hair color was lavender much like her mother's, who…well…let's just she was no longer with them.
"Dib drank the last soda." The gothic girl named Gazoline Membrane realized. She clenched her fist, growling. "He…will…PAY…"
Dib, meanwhile, had slid down the pipe and into the kitchen window, hurtling over the kitchen sink which was full of soapy water.
Gazoline, or Gaz as she was commonly known for growled. 'If only that no good soda stealer had fallen in!' She thought bitterly.
"They're COMING!" He shouted, getting Gaz's attention.
His father, a tall man who had hair similar to his son's was wearing goggles, black gloves, and large boots with his lab coat; he appeared not to hear this.
"Dad, I heard them!" Dib spoke up. "They're actually coming! I heard them, I HEARD them! I was up on the roof and I heard this transmission coming through!"
His father raised a finger to his son's face. "SHH!" He said. "Not now, son! I'm making…"
Lightning sparkled from his hands and then…
"TOAST!" He held it up.
Dib's brow frowned, of course his father would ignore his claims! So Dib in turn ignored the invention of the "Super Toast" his father had been working on for weeks and ran to his sister, who was sipping from a juice box. "Gaz, they're coming!" He told her. "They're really are!"
"WHO'S coming, Dib?" Gaz asked, raising an eyebrow and looking less-than-convinced.
"I…don't…know…" Dib whispered, looking out the window and at the sky.
And it was true he had no clue of who, or why, he only knew he had to stop it…he had a calling, a gift for seeking out the truth!
And he would find it, and nothing would get in his way!
Author's Notes:
So what do you think? Please let me know if this story is worth reading. As always I thank you for checking out my site and I hope to hear from you real soon.
Until then this is Emily Signing off :)