My grammar is somehow cranky. I'm really working on it though. Just wanted to clarify this.

Olivia tried to look at her reflection in the mirror, but couldn't bring herself to it. She just had sex with her married boss Jake in his office. She began pacing back and forth in the office's washroom.

"You can't even look at yourself in the mirror." She said out loud to herself.

"Why are you such a slut?" She continued.

"When is this going to stop?" The tears started falling at his point. "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't go on living like this. I need help." She now entered the toilet cubicle and cried some more.

This was Olivia's life routine. She sexed anyone interested in her or showed her any little affection, and after the act, she cursed and hated herself for it.

It all started at sixteen when Olivia was abused by her mom's boyfriend. Her mother would bring random guys home when her dad was away for his countless business trips. Olivia hated her mom for this. Her father always told her he had to work to give them the life they had.

Olivia once walked in on her mom having sex with two guys, and it haunted her for weeks. One of those guys later on raped her. She told her mom about it, but her mom slapped and shouted at her for seducing her boy-toy. She somehow felt guilty about it, since the rape was almost pleasant at the end.

Olivia confided in her father about it too, and even let him in on what her mom has been doing when he wasn't home, but her dad brushed it off and asked her to mind her own business. It wasn't long after that before she discovered her dad had a stable family somewhere, and they were the other family. She then realized those countless business trip wasn't work-related after all.

A few months after Olivia's discovery, her mother took solace in drugs. Maya started using drugs heavily, which made her father abandon them for good. Her mother sold everything in the house to feed her addiction.

Olivia went out of control with sex after this. It wasn't like there was anyone who wanted to control her in the first place. The fact that she could get men to do anything she wanted was everything. She loved the control she had over men at the time. She enjoyed making men want her, but the feeling after the act was killing her slowly.

Olivia's life style didn't affect her education in anyway, she was a bright scholar. She was able to go to college through scholarship. The last time she tried to go without sex, was in college. She went four months without sex until she met a guy whom she really liked, Edison. She told Edison, she'd like to take things slow. But only weeks after dating Edison, Edison told her he slept with her roommate, explaining he was a man with needs.

Olivia was still sobbing inside the toilet cubicle when her coworker, Abby heard her. "Olivia, are you Ok?"

Olivia wiped her eyes and walked out of the toilet. "Yes, I'm fine."

Abby took one long look at her and shook her head. "You had sex with him again didn't you?"

Olivia didn't answer her. She went to the sink to wash her crying face. She looked at herself in the mirror and the tears started forming up again, she had to look away.

"You need help Olivia. Just go see that friend of mine. He once lived through this too." Abby said to Olivia.

Olivia shook her head slightly. "You think I haven't tried all the therapy bullshit? I've been to so many therapists, and scan all the books about dealing with this and how to get by. I've even hit church a couple times to help with my feelings. This is who I truly am, Abby. If you can't take me the way I am then that's your problem, not mine." Olivia said angrily to Abby, then attempted to leave.

Abby held Olivia by the arm. "Olivia, I'm trying to help you here."

Olivia pushed Abby's hand away from hers. "Well, I don't need your help." She said angrily and left.

XXX

"The double life is pathetic. The double life was my hardest part of being an addict. You don't want anyone to know you cheat and can't control your penis. A few relatives and close friends knew I loved fucking around but didn't know how bad it was. I go to games with coworkers, hang out around friends with their wives, being friendly with their nannies, and none of these ladies knew I'm imagining them naked and fucking me senseless."

"Most sex addicts have been victims of sexual assault, but not me. It all started after some few years of marriage. I felt unloved by my wife. What I wanted was that immediate, gratifying rush like I mean something to this person. Things were going fine when we were dating. But when we got married, I found out after every sexual encounter that it was exactly the opposite." Fitz, explaining his struggle to a group of sex addicts.

He went on. "I wasn't turned on by my wife no matter how hard I tried. Masturbation helps me to relax and makes it easier for me to face sex with her. And when we had sex, I'm thinking about someone else. The fact that she loves working more than spending time with the family was something I was very happy about. I used this as an excuse to indulge myself with any lady who showed me little attention. I took things to extreme when I saw her making out with another man. Deep down somewhere within me, I knew I pushed her to do what she did. Instead for me to be angry, it was a relief because I could carry on with my illicit affairs without any remorse this time around."

"Making excuses or blaming others for your bad behavior is the beginning of self-destruction. But reminding yourself of all the damages you've done over the years to your love ones and yourself is a start of the recovery process. "

"It's been nearly two years since the start of my convalescence. My mentor now jokes I'm impotent because I've lost the desire to sleep with any woman." Fitz paused and looked at the group. "Just so we're clear, I'm not impotent." The group laughed with him at this point.

"I'm really relieved not to be a slave to sex. I can tell you for certain, there's no woman on this planet earth who I can't control myself over, and for this I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong, I still look at some ladies and go, wow, she's hot, but with no intention or thought of fucking her. I'm really thankful for the fact that I don't get turned on carelessly as before. At first, I normally get a boner in public when a pretty lady walks by. You can imagine how embarrassing that is…"

Abby entered Fitz's class and interrupted his discussion with the group. "Sorry, I can come another time." Abby said, and then tried to leave.

"Hey, no Abby, come. Everyone this is Abby. One of my former employees, the only lady I had too much respect not to hit on."

The group laughed and said. "Hello Abby"

"Hi guys." Well, because somehow you weren't attracted to me. Abby said inside her.

Fitz was a little surprise to see her. "What are you doing here? Don't tell me you're going through some of this?" He aimed at the group.

"Jesus, no." Abby answered quickly, then took in her judgmental tone. "I'm good. I'm here for a friend." She smiled at the group.

Fitz smiled at how nervous she looked. "Where is the friend?"

Abby thanked God Fitz didn't take offense in her earlier remark."Well, she's not here. I don't think she believes she can change."

Fitz has heard this so many times. He once believed he could never change too. "Tell your friend everybody can change if they're willing."

"I'll like you to tell her that, please." Abby begged.

"Abby, you can ask anyone here. No one can force anyone, to believe anything. The person must be willing to take that step. If not, you're merely wasting your time with her."

xxx

Olivia went to see Abby to apologies how she treated her at the office's washroom, certain she was just being concerned and wanted to help. She knocked at Abby's door. Abby opened the door, and was just standing there staring at her, still mad at her.

"I brought red wine and pizza." Olivia said, waiting for Abby to accept her apology.

Abby didn't budge at all. She was tired being the one more concern about her well being. "I've eaten already." Abby said, not going easy on her.

Olivia bowed down her head at her rejection. "Abby, I'm sorry I transferred my aggression to you. I was angry at myself not you."

"Olivia we've gone through this road before. And I'm done, if you don't want to help yourself. I don't want to be part of your life."

Olivia was taken aback. "Like really?" Abby knew about her problem, but has never gotten this angry at her before.

"Yes, like really. You said if I can't take you the way you are is my problem and not yours. So yes, I can't take you the way you are. This friendship is over." Abby said and slammed the door in Olivia's face.

Olivia stood at Abby's door, hurts. She dropped down the red wine and the pizza in front of Abby's door, and walked away, crying. Their friendship was something she held very close to her heart. Abby was the first and only friend she has. They clicked the first day they met each other.

Abby and Olivia both applied for the same job and luckily for them, Jake picked them both. He told them he needed more hands. Jake had once made a pass on Abby, but Abby put him in his place.

Abby and Olivia has known each other for almost two years, but their friendship was like they'd known each other forever. Olivia told Abby she was an addict the first day they started work. Abby asked her what kind of addict, she told her with time she'd find out.

Olivia recalled Abby thanking God she wasn't a drug addict the day she found out she was addicted to sex instead. Olivia told her if anything she wished she was addicted to drugs and not sex.

Abby has always been there for her, she didn't even judge after she revealed the number of people she has slept with. She has been so supportive, even when she once tried to end it all.

Olivia was still in her car crying heavily when Abby knocked on her windshield for her to roll down her side window. Olivia did, ashamed to look at Abby.

"Olivia, I sometimes feel like I'm your enabler. I know it wasn't a big deal when you told me you were addicted to this lifestyle. But I can see you don't like it yourself. I just want you to be proud of yourself. I want you to look at the mirror without tears forming in your eyes. My old boss, Fitz went through this as well, but he's a new person today. He now works at this center that counsel people going through the same thing. He has a session tomorrow, come with me. Please do this for me."

Olivia wiped her eyes and looked at Abby now. "Abby, it's not that I don't want to go. I don't want to disappoint you anymore. I've tried this before, but we all ended up having sex in one of the sessions, including the therapist. We're just that messed up."

"Fitz is different. He has been two years free now. He has a family he's trying to do right by. I know him personally. He's a different man now."

"OK, I'm going to try this therapy thing again. I will go with you tomorrow." Olivia surrendered.

Abby pulled open her car door. "Now get out of the car and give me a hug."

Olivia and Abby entered Fitz's class just when he was telling his story about the day he was certain he overcame his addiction.

"So, it was on my six months sober anniversary. I told my friends I was six months sober without sex or masturbation….." Fitz spotted Abby and Olivia entering his class. He cleared his voice and paused, when he made eye contact with Olivia. He felt a strange wriggling sensation in his stomach. No way, this can't be right. He articulated in his mind.

Wow, six months without sex. I think he is lying. I'll die if I go six months without sex. Olivia thought within herself. Her eyes now captured the way Fitz stared at her. And she felt something totally different from her usual desire to be fucked.

Fitz walked up to them and extended his hand to Abby. "Abby, I see you were able to convince your friend." He then extended his hand to Olivia. They both held their hands and just stared at it, both afraid to make eye contact. Abby wasn't really paying attention to them. Fitz took his hand off Olivia quickly, then introduced himself and the group to Olivia, and Olivia did likewise.

After the introduction, Abby wanted to leave, but Olivia whispered and begged her to stay. "Please don't go."

"Why are you scared?" Abby whispered the question to Olivia.

"He can't wait to fuck me." Olivia answered.

Abby scolded her."Olivia, not everybody wants to fuck you. You're only looking for reasons not to stay. We barely got here."

One of the group members asked Fitz to continue with his story. "Hey Fitz, please proceed with your story about your six months sober anniversary."

Fitz became uncomfortable. He didn't want to finish the story. He has never felt uncomfortable around any woman even when he was a hardcore addict. He was always the one in control, taking charge. But now he felt shy to even make eye contact with Olivia. And he didn't like this one bit.

"Where was I?" Fitz asked.

"You just told your friends you were six months free without sex or masturbation." Another member chipped in, agitated to hear the story.

Olivia decided to push the feeling of Fitz wanting to fuck her or attracted to her at the back of her head. Maybe Abby is right, not everyone wants to fuck me. To be sincere, I'm the one dying to fuck him. I wonder how he'll feel in my mouth. she had to stop her thought. Olivia, focus. She decided to focus her gaze at the center of the floor.

It was a relief to Fitz that Olivia's eyes wasn't on him while he continued with his story. "OK, my friends were very aware of the kind of ladies I couldn't resist….."

"What kind of ladies?" Someone in the group asked.

Even though Olivia's eyes weren't on Fitz, she felt Fitz's eyes peeking through her rapidly.

"Let's not get into that." Fitz replied. "Can I continue?" He demanded.

"Yes." Everyone shouted in union excerpt Olivia, and this did not go unnoticed by Fitz.

"My friends sent three women all naked in my hotel room. And I was completely mum. I was very shocked by it by the way, because I know me. The ladies went back and told them my reaction and they sent the ladies back to attack me. They came back and were all over me, touching me, grinding me, sucking, and I was still mum. This was when I believe I wasn't a slave to sex anymore. And no woman has control over me."

The crowd applauded Fitz, but Olivia chuckled and rolled her eyes. And this pissed Fitz off. "Miss Pope is there anything would like to say?" Fitz asked with a hint of anger in his voice.

Olivia stared at him for some time, then smiled sweetly. "No, I'm just proud of you." She flirted. Abby saw this and pushed her lightly.

"That will be all for today guys. In our next session, we'll like to know Olivia more, for her to tell us something about herself and her struggles."

Olivia got nervous all of a sudden. "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready. I barely got here."

"No pressure Miss Pope, if by then you're not ready, then fine." Fitz replied, happy he put her out of her comfort zone.

As the class ended, members were mingling around in groups. Abby went to have a chat with Fitz. Four guys approached Olivia. Olivia could tell all the four guys around her wanted nothing but sex from her. While she tried to listen to the conversation around her, her eyes kept going back to Fitz. They both kept throwing side glances at each other.

Abby saw a guy gave Olivia his number and the number of guys around her, and got alerted, certain it was only a matter of time and location before they fuck their brains off. She immediately called her for them to leave.

Tell me something. Interesting, boring or indifference?