Hide The Dick, a supernatural fanfic

It all started a few months ago. Castiel and his siblings are not exactly the type of people that can be stereotyped with all others of the male species; and for Castiel's family, they never seemed to understand other people as well as they did each other. That's how Castiel ended up being roommates with his brother Gabriel, his best friend Balthazar, and his sister Anna.

From this arrangement, they formed a close friendship with one another, and a few months ago (as previously stated), Anna asked the boys why a majority of other boys drew dicks all over things. This led to the mental image of dicks popping out at you when you least expect it. Gabriel and Balthazar being as crude as they came (and Castiel's similar sense of humour) along with their drunken ideas led them to begin playing a game they called Hide The Dick.

HTD is a simple game: someone hides a picture of a (laminated, cartoon, detailed to the point of visible veins) dick and the rest of the members look for it. Once it is found, the next person has to re-hide it and it's all tallied on a whiteboard on the fridge:

This was never an issue with visitors as the dick was always well hidden and nobody would know to look for it.

Until the fireman.

Castiel cursed his bad luck.

Castiel was woken by the sound of the smoke detectors going off in all the apartments of the building. Castiel rolled out of bed, unhappy with his disturbance, and changed into appropriate clothing before joining his roommates in the kitchen.

Anna was attempting to make breakfast, with the occasional glance at the smoke alarm going off full blast. Balthazar and Gabriel, the two smallest people in the house, were trying to get the smoke alarm down, Gabriel on top of Balthazar's shoulders.

Rolling his eyes, Castiel picked up the phone from where it was on the bench and called the landlord, asking them to send someone to check on the smoke alarms.

Balthazar and Gabriel gave up on their attempts and accepted the coffee that Anna was holding out, Castiel soon followed suit.

When the knock on the door came, it was Anna who opened it and let the guy in.

He was gorgeous. There is no other word for him. He had the most beautiful green eyes, freckles splayed across his face- everything about him screamed GORGEOUS.

Anna led the smoke-detector guy to the smoke detector and Castiel, Balthazar and Gabriel all left the kitchen to give him space. Anna joined them a moment later.

Balthazar gave Castiel and Gabriel once-overs.

"I'd be in for a foursome with that, if you guys are down" Balthazar sounded dead serious, and though Castiel would be happy to engage is physical activity with the extremely good looking smoke-alarm guy, Castiel isn't good with "sharing".

Anna just scoffed (she was the only one in the house that actually liked girls) but before she could retaliate, the guy walks back out.

He explains that the problem is loose wiring and he needs to replace it. They all just nod mutely as the guy gives a brilliant smile and heads down to the hardware store down the road.

Once he's gone, Gabriel and Balthazar start, well gushing (there is no other word that does this justice) about how hot the guys is and he must be a fire-fighter because damn nobody else could look like that. Castiel joins in of course, it almost seemed involuntary, and in no time the guy is back with the replacement.

They remain in silence as they guy replaces the smoke-detector which takes him all but five minutes, before he walks back out.

He's about to head out when he pauses and turns. Castiel follows his line of sight and spots the fire extinguisher. Oh God no. Please no. Heaven's above don't let him do it.

"You know what, while I'm here, I should actually check the date on your fire extinguisher" the guys says, walking towards it.

Castiel feels his eyes flash open and he feels the horror build. He rushes to explain.

"I just want you to know we play this game and w-"

But it's too late. Gabriel gives Castiel a look conveying "you fucking didn't" but the problem is, Castiel did, and now the incredibly innocent, good looking fire-fighter is holding up the fire extinguisher, the look of utmost confusion on his face at the sight of an extravagantly drawn dick taped to the back.

Castiel wants to die. To dig a hole in the ground, crawl into it and never return. Instead, he stands frozen, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

Everything is silent for a good minute.

"This is… nice" the fire-man tries. "Who drew it?"

Anna raises her hand timidly, cheeks flushed.

Castiel then rushes to explain the game and how it worked, the others chipping in to help.

"And now, big guy, you have to hide it" Gabriel finishes it off.

The fire-man looks up at them.

"That's a violation of privacy, I don't know you people and you don't know me" he says.

"I'm Gabriel, that's my brother Castiel, our sister Anna and out good friend Balthazar" Gabriel states casually, gesturing to everyone.

"Dean" the fire-man says, his expression conveying confusion.

"Great, now we know you, hide the damn dick" Balthazar says.

Dean laughs, but he also looks uncomfortable.

"Uh… okay, god if you insist" Dean shifts from foot to foot before he walks into the kitchen, fire-extinguisher and all, and returns, now without a dick attached to the back of the fire-extinguisher. "I'm going to pretend like that didn't happen because, god that was such an invasion of your privacy."

Dean walks to the door, stops when he realises he is still carrying the fire-extinguisher and moves to put it back. Dean waves good-bye awkwardly and grabs his things and walks out the door.

Nobody moves until the door swings shut behind Dean. Balthazar bursts out laughing, Gabriel and Anna make a dash for the kitchen to find the dick and Castiel buries his face in his hands.

"Oh my god" he murmurs.

"HA! DEAN-O PUT HIS NAME ON THE BOARD! I LOVE THAT GUY!" Gabriel calls out from the kitchen.

Then, before Castiel knows what he is doing he runs after Dean. He catches him by the elevator.

"Dean!" Castiel calls. "Hey, look, I'm sorry about that, I didn't even think you would look at the fire extinguisher and I hid it last night so there was no way anyone had found it and- yeah. I'm sorry. It's weird." Castiel feels the heat rise up his neck to the tip of his ears and he wonders why he thought this was a good idea.

Dean laughs.

"I do weird things with my family too, it's no big deal" Dean says, and he looks like means it. "It's Cas-Castiel right?"

Castiel nods, silent.

"I'm just gonna call you Cas, makes it easier" Dean smiles before he realises the commitment to his words and he flushes red. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "I mean- uh, not that I uh-" Dean doesn't seem to be able to form the words.

Castiel smiles and holds out his hand.

"Phone?" he asks.

Wordlessly, Dean hands it over. Castiel goes to open it, but it has a pin-lock.

"Can you unlock it, please?" Castiel says, trying not to laugh. Dean turns a darker shade of red.

"Oh- uh, yeah. There" Dean unlocks the phone and hands it back.

Castiel smiles softly as he inputs his number. He names the contact 'Cas (or dick-behind-the-fire-extinguisher-guy)'on his phone and hands it back.

"Like you said, call me, Cas" he points to himself and Dean laughs, loud and glorious and Castiel immediately wants to hear it again.

"Yeah, yeah I most definitely will" Dean says. The elevator dings and Dean enters the elevator silently, and hits the button. He smiles at Castiel once again. "Bye Cas"

"See you soon Dean" Castiel replies as the doors slide shut.

When Castiel re-enters his apartment, he goes for his phone immediately and is pleasantly surprised when he sees a message from Dean.

In the end, Dean kept his name on the board, and it turns out he is quite good at finding the dick hidden around the house and earns plenty of tallies as the months went on.

As it also turns out, Gabriel was right. Dean is a fire-man as well. Volunteer mostly, but still- he's a fire-man.

Castiel's name in Dean's phone remains the same for a few weeks, before it changes to 'Cas-baby' once they start to officially refer to the other as their 'boyfriend' and introduce one another to the families (though Castiel's display picture is one of Castiel holding the picture of the dick).

When Dean and Castiel move into a house together, they continue to play the game with a copied picture of the one Anna drew, and whenever Gabriel, Balthazar, Anna, Sam (Dean's brother) or Jo (Dean's all-but-blood-related sister) come over, they hunt for the picture of the dick, and vice-versa at Castiel's old apartment.

It turns out Sam is horrible at hiding the dick, but great at finding it, Jo is great at hiding it but can never find it, and Dean is great at both hiding it and finding it.

And if, in his best-man speech, Gabriel mentions Dean's amazing ability to find the dick, while others laugh at what they assume is an innuendo, only a few know and Castiel will roll his eyes while ignoring the heat that rises up on his cheeks. He is thankful that he chose to hide the dick where he did, and he can never thank God enough for having Dean think to check the fire-extinguisher.

So maybe, Castiel doesn't have such bad luck after all.