Yup, that was his body alright. With the white hair and headband there was little doubt about it, he didn't even need to check for the red eyes and sharp teeth, though he did just for good measure.

Well, this was interesting, and not in the good way.

"Huh." Soul clicked his tongue as he walked the perimeter around his body. Coming to a stop after a few rotations he glanced up the stair case, trying to determine if he had truly died by falling down a flight of stairs. God that was fucking lame. He couldn't have been killed trying to save someone from a mugger? Or pulling someone from a burning building? A staircase? Really? Black*Star would be cracking jokes his entire funeral.

Dropping down to one knee in front of his own head, god this was surreal, he reached out with a long finger and poked his own cheek. Unsurprisingly, yet still a surprise somehow, his fingers passed through the skin with no resistance. Pulling his hand away he made a face.

"Well. This sucks." He sighed as he returned to his full height and looked around the dark hallway. It was still pretty early in the morning. Chances were no one would be at school for another hour to find his body.

He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

On one hand no one would figure out he died tripping over his own feet and falling down a flight of stairs.

On the other hand his body was lying in the middle of the school hallway in a rather undignified position.

Really it was a lose-lose.

"Aaaaaaand fuck." Soul said, running a hand through his hair.

"There's no need to curse, you know."

Soul whirled around and jumped back as a girl appeared behind him. "What the hell?"

"Heaven, actually." She tutted. She was dressed in a school uniform, though she had jazzed the outfit up with a long back coat. Though that wasn't the most noticeable thing about her.

"What are you supposed to be?" Soul asked, his eyes staring up at the large scythe she had resting on her shoulder. "I imagined the grim reaper being more… more."

The girl scowled at him. "I'm Soul Collector Maka, in service of the Grim Reaper, Lord Death himself and you are dead."

"You don't fucking say, half pint?" Soul said, the words dripping with sarcasm. "I never would have guessed, you know, cept for the whole standing above my own body."

"As you are dead." Maka continued, though her eyes flashed dangerous at the insult. "Your soul is mine!" She brought down the scythe but Soul skipped back before it could make contact.

"Uh. No." Soul said, taking another step back.

"It's not a choice." Maka said, lifting the scythe again. "You either come with me, or I make you come with me."

"Maybe next time start with the come with me and not the attacking." Soul commented. "Anyways, yeah, I'm not going with you."

"Yes you are." Maka snapped. "Look, don't you want to go to heaven. Can't you see that bright light up there?"

Soul raised an eyebrow and glanced skyward. "You're kidding, right?"

Maka hesitated. "You can't see it?"

"No."

"Look harder!"

"There is no gawdamned light!" Soul growled.

"Then that means…" Maka jumped back and brought her weapon up defensively. "You must be a kishin egg!"

"Huh?" Soul reached up and rubbed at his head. "Look, I really don't have time for this. I've got an eternity to figure out so if you could just…" he waved his hand, shooing her away.

Maka responded by charging forward and slamming the scythe blade into his chest. For a moment a look of shock passed on Soul's face before one of confusion replaced it as the blade passed harmlessly though his body. He glanced up at Maka who looked equally dumbfounded.

"That's…that's not possible." She whispered, looking at Soul then back at her weapon. "This blade can cut through any ethereal being."

"Well would you look at that?" Soul said before plopping back down next to his body. "You can go away now."

"But… no, you must come with me so I can report this anomaly to Lord Death."

"Not interested, pigtails." Soul said as he tilted his head, deep in thought.

"But, you're dead. You can't stay here!" Maka snapped.

"Yeah, thing about that is…" Soul trailed off before diving into his body. Maka let out a shout and reached for him, but it was too late.

Soul opened his eyes and sat up. His neck hurt like all hell, but the pain was already fading.

"How… how did you do that?" Maka asked, staring down at the boy. He didn't respond to her and she mentally cursed. Closing her eyes, she focused hard, and forced herself into the mortal plane. Soul looked up as she popped into existence.

"Oh, shit, you weren't just a bad dream." Soul sighed.

"You're dead! You can't be back in that body!"

"Well, here's the thing about that." Souls said as he stood up and cracked his neck. "I don't think I'm ready to die yet. So… you can go away now. Come back in like eighty years."

He gave her a halfhearted wave and started to walk away, but she followed after him. She grabbed his sleeve and turned him to face her.

"No! This isn't allowed. I have to take your soul! This is my ninety-ninth soul!" Maka said, stamping his foot on the ground. "You are the last one I need! Give it!"

"What?" Soul held his hand over his chest. "No, go away."

"Give!"

"No!"

"I will cut the soul out of you! This is wrong on so many levels! The dead are not allowed to return!"

"Ah fuck you bitch." Soul snapped, breaking free of her grasp. "Go find another dead guy to bother."

AN: This is likely not going to be continued.