"Booorrrreedddd," Wynonna groaned, leaning back in her chair with a huff. The house was quiet save for the wind whistling outside. Snow was beginning to fall and the Earp heir had no intentions of braving the storm. Not even for nachos.
She reached for her phone and thumbed through her recent messages. There were a few from Dolls in his usual gruff style, asking if she felt okay today. He'd asked the same question yesterday, and the day before. Wynonna ignored them. A couple were from Doc. He'd finally mastered sending pictures. They were all of his new car.
One from Waverly, it asked Wynonna if she wanted meat-free burritos tonight. I'd rather suck demon spider slime, Wynonna thought. Grunting, she levered herself out of the chair, her pregnant belly throwing her balance off enough for her to stumble forward and crack her shin on the coffee table.
"Son of a hamster!" she grimaced, straightening and sucking in a gasp. "Kid, you're already a pain in my ass. Or … leg in this case. Nuance," she added, cradling her large belly. There was no answer from the baby. Clearly even her own offspring didn't want to alleviate her boredom.
Waddling to the kitchen she spied a pink box on the counter and, dismissive of who it belonged to or how it got there, she pried the lid open.
"Douugghhnuuttss!" she sang in delight, snatching up a chocolate glazed and biting into it with a moan of ecstasy. "Almost as good as whiskey," she announced to the empty kitchen. "I'm lying. Kid, you better be worth this enforced sobriety." No answer again.
Maybe Waverly could entertain her. Inhaling a second doughtnut and selecting a third, Wynonna heading for the stairs, her fluffy slippers (Waverly's idea) making no sound on the weathered wood.
Heading up the hallway towards Waverly's room, Wynonna was too enamoured with her tasty treat to bother looking where she was going. Her fingers registered an odd texture on the door handle, her ears detecting an strange noise, but in typical Wynonna fashion she simply burst in.
"OH MY GOD!" Her cry of surprise mingled with twin yelps from the two very naked figures in her little sister's bed. Wynonna snapped her eyes shut and twisted her head away, the image of Nicole's red hair between Waverly's legs burned into her retinas.
"Sorry! I -" she began.
"Wynonna!" Waverly squealed, the bedsheets rustling furiously as the two women scrambled to cover themselves.
"Oh my god," came Nicole's whisper of horror. Wynonna realised she'd dropped her doughnut, but her priority had switched to purging the image of her sister's bare breasts from her mind.
"I'm sorry, I – I didn't know you were here, Nicole," she stammered, turning away and opening her eyes. Heat flushed her cheeks.
"I thought the underwear on the door was a a dead giveaway!" Waverly howled.
"I was … preoccupied," Wynonna said defensively, gesturing to the doughnut on the floor. In her haste to protect her eyes she'd flung the custard cream over by the door which she now discovered had a red, lacy thong draped over the handle.
"Ewwww, I touched that," she squealed, shaking her hand and wiping it furiously on her sweatpants with exaggerated urgency.
"Wynonna, leave!" Waverly commanded. Wynonna darted for the hallway and heard the door slam behind her.
The doughnut was still inside.
She retreated downstairs and washed her hands, then rubbed her eyes with water from the kitchen tap. Embarrassment seared across her face and neck like fire. Even her ears were burning. Wynonna was still scrubbing away when she heard two sets of feet descending the staircase.
"I'll catch you later, Wynonna," Nicole said awkwardly, then left. Wynonna looked out the kitchen window and watched the tall cop beating a hasty retreat through the snow towards her car, which was parked prominently outside the barn.
"Should have checked if that was there," Wynonna muttered to herself. She turned, water dripping from her nose, and saw her little sister leaning against the wall with her arms folded looking mortified.
"Wynonna, I am so sorry you had to see that -," Waverly began.
"No, no, it's fine. My bad. Should have looked to see where I was going," Wynonna interjected quickly. "Are you sure Nicole doesn't want to stay for dinner, though?"
"No, she's got something to do back at the station."
"Ah true, true," Wynonna said, swiping at her cheeks with the bottom of her t-shirt. A sense of mischief stole over her and she grinned. "I guess she wouldn't be a fan of your cooking anyway," she added impassively.
A crease folded Waverly's brow. "What do you mean? I'm a good cook."
"Yeah, but Nicole clearly prefers eating out."
Waves went bright red.
"Is it just me or is it Haught in here?" Wynonna joked, fanning herself with the lapel of her jacket.
She never even saw the shoe.