Opens on Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are on the couch sipping coffee.
(set 1 year after series 7)
Monica: (Reading magazine) Awww. Look at that little jacket.
Chandler: Oh, but honey, I think it might be a bit small for me.
Monica: No! What about for our kid?
Chandler: What kid?
Monica: Well......
[Titles]
(opens monicas appartment)
Chandler is sitting on the couch, staring at the blank tv screen.
Phoebe: Do you think he's alright?
Monica: I'm not sure. Chandler you alright?
Chandler: Phfft.
Monica: I'm sure he's fine.
(Enter Rachel carrying 8 shopping bags)
Monica: Wow. I wish I had as much money as you.
Rachel: Yeah well, you know I ruined my favourite black top?
Phoebe: So you bought a replacement?
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: And the other 7 bags?
Rachel: Ummm. There was a sale on in Bloomingdales.
Monica: Where did you get the money?
Rachel: Credit card.
Monica: And how are you paying for that?
Rachel: Erm....
(Enter Joey)
Joey: Hey guys, you seen Ross?
Monica: No, why?
Joey: (Laughing) He's having a bit of a crisis.
Rachel: What happened?
Joey: Oh, you'll see. (nodding to chandler) Whats wrong?
Phoebe: Monica told him about the baby.
Joey: Uh oh. (walks over to chandler) Hey man, you doin' ok?
Chandler: Phfft.
Joey: C'mon it'll be great! If its a boy you can like teach him football, and soccer and video games......
Chandler: Phfft
(Enter ross, wearing a blue NY baseball cap)
Joey: (Laughing) Hows it going man?
Ross: Shut up Jo. Its not funny.
Joey: Yeah it is!! (collapses laughing)
Monica: Whats happened?
Ross: You know I gave that dinosaur lecture at the school today?
Monica: Yeah
Ross: Well, I shouted at one kid for laughing and he got mad.
Monica: So?
Ross: He put glue in my cap, and its stuck.
(Joey laughs so hard he falls off the couch)
Phoebe: You hear that Chandler? Ross got his cap glued to his head.
Chandler: Eurhhn
Rachel: Well, its different to phfft.
Phoebe: You got nothing to say about that? No funny remark?
Ross: Can we focus?
Monica: (laughing) sorry Ross, let me have a look. (pulls at the hat)
Ross: Owwww!
Monica: Yep. Its stuck.
Ross: You needed to rip my hair out to tell me that???
Phoebe: We could cut it off.
Monica: Yeah.
Ross: What?!
(Opens Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is standing over ross with a pair of scissors)
Ross: You sure about this phoebes?
Phoebe: Course. (smiles at monica)
(she begins to cut around the hat)
[Adverts]
(Opens Monicas Bedroom)
Phoebe: Ta daaa
Ross: (looks in mirror) Oh my god.
Phoebe: What?
Ross look at my hair!! (his hair is spiky and very short around the sides, and long on top)
Phoebe: The hat was stuck to it.
Monica: I liked the hat better.
Ross: Thank you.
(Back in the lounge)
Joey: C'mon Chan. You've got seven whole months to get ready.
Rachel: Yeah, Monica needs you to snap outta this.
Chandler: I.....I.....I'm gonna be a Dad.
Joey: Yeah you are man!
Chandler: I'm gonna be sick. (he runs to the bathroom)
(Enter Phoebe and Monica Laughing)
Rachel: Well?
Monica: The hat was an improvement.
Rachel: Come out Ross. We wanna see!!
(Enter Ross)
Rachel: (laughs hysterically)
Joey: Oh man. Put the hat back on!
Ross: Yeah, laugh it up.
(enter chandler)
Chandler: I see the Indians haven't perfected scalping yet then.
(all laugh)
Joey: Hes back.
(Monica walks over)
Monica: You ok?
Chandler: Yeah. You know why?
Monica: Why?
Chandler: I can teach the kid my sense of humor.
[Titles]