So, I have been back from my UC op for a few weeks now. To say that things are different, is a huge understatement. Chris wants to move to Timmins, Frank and Noelle are getting married, Sam is a detective now and, oh yeah, Sam has a girlfriend. Marlo Cruz. I can't tell you how surprised I was when I found Sam in the kitchen, kissing her.

Sure I left to go UC, but I honestly thought that after everything he said to me, the night I held the grenade, that he would wait for me. I thought about him every day while I was under. I told Nick that I didn't even remember his phone number, but there is no way that I can ever forget anything about that man. He has been a part of my life for the last 3 years. First as my TO, then "friend" (as if we were ever really friends) and finally lover. That night at the Alpine was one of the happiest nights of my life.

Then I left. I left because I wanted both of us to keep our jobs. I knew that there was no way that we would be able to stay away from each other for 3 months. He says that all he wanted was me, but if we had of been fired, he would have resented me for it one day. So I went away for 3 months, so we could have a future together. Looking back, I don't think he ever really forgave me for that choice. Sure we had some good times, but I always felt like he was never really that invested in our relationship.

Then Jerry died. All I wanted to do was help him through that loss. But he shut me out. Broke up with me in a parking lot and left me crying in the rain. He has no idea how much he hurt me that night. He completely broke my heart. My heart never hurt like that before, even when my mom left.

I tried to call him after that night, but he never answered. So I begged Luke for a spot on his taskforce. I was not going to be that girl. The one who puts off what she wants, just because of a guy. I thought that Sam was done with me. He wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was completely at peace with my decision to ask Luke for a spot on the taskforce.

Then he had to go and tell me that he loves me while I was holding a bomb! How dare he? I was at peace and he threw me completely out of whack! That night in the locker room, I was actually considering talking to him about what he said, until he made that stupid joke about Grey's anatomy. I could not believe that he took what he said and made a joke out of it. It's like he didn't even care about everything he had put me through. I walked out on him and he gave me a huge speech about what he would do to get me back. He asked me for a drink, and I was not sure. I never gave him an answer.

After Luke approached me to tell me I got the task force, I honestly was not sure what to do. I wanted to meet Sam, but how was I supposed to know if he really meant what he said or if it was just said in the heat of the moment. I decided to take the taskforce, knowing that Sam would be here when I got back.

Well he was here, just not waiting for me. It seems he gave up on us and decided that he was done with me and wanted Marlo. So here I sit, trying once again to get over my broken heart.

Actually, I am sitting in Tracy's office, waiting for her so we can have our first girls night since I have been back. Gail had finally soften towards me so she will be there too. I am so absorbed in a picture of Leo on Tracy's desk, that I don't even see the shadow in the doorway.

"Hey McNally, waiting for Nash?" I hear Marlo ask.

I look up and see her standing in the doorway, leaning on the door frame with a smile on her face. I have tried to hate her. I really want to hate her, but I can't. She has been nothing but nice to me since I have been back. And do you know how hard it is to hate someone who is being nice to you? I tell you I have tried, but I just can't.

"Yeah we are heading to the Penny after Sam and her are done interrogating their suspect"

"Since you are waiting for her, would you mind passing on a message to Sam? Marlo asked nicely.

Wow, this felt really awkward. Sam and I have not really talked much since I have been back. Sure we can be polite if need be, but that is the extent of our conversations. I was sure the look on my face showed that I felt awkward, but Marlo either ignored it or really didn't see the look.

"I…guess I can do that" I managed to choke out.

Again Marlo either seemed to not notice or ignore the slight hitch in my voice.

"Great. Can you tell him that I won't make it to the Penny tonight, but I will swing by his place later"

OK, so I really did not need to know that. I really wanted to tell Marlo just to leave him a note. But I said I would tell him, so I will.

"I can do that"

"Thanks, McNally. I will see you tomorrow"

And with that, Marlo walked out of their office.

So I am still sitting here, waiting for Sam and Tracy when I see Frank coming up to the office.

"McNally, can I have a word with you in my office please?" Frank said softly.

There was something about his tone that made me pay attention.

"Of course sir, let me just leave a note for Tracy"

I write Trace a quick note, in case she comes back while I am in with Frank. I walk up to Frank's office and can see him pacing around, with a worried look on his face. I walk up to the door, knock softly and enters when he tells me too.

"Have a seat, Andy"

That right there, tells me that this is not going to be good. Frank only calls me Andy when something is really wrong.

I sit down and asked Frank what was going on.

"Andy, there is no easy way to tell you this. Your father was in an accident earlier tonight…"

"OH my God!" I yell as I jump up and start pacing. "How bad is it? Was anyone else hurt? "

"Andy, there is no easy way to say this. Your father didn't make it. His injuries were too severe and he passed away on the table."

Tracy and Sam round the corner from the interrogation room, just in time to see Andy faint to the floor in Frank's office.