Total Drama Ultimate
By: Noel Batsworth
(As the show begins, a montage plays showing Owen, Duncan, Alejandro, Cameron and Mike winning their respective seasons, in certain versions of the finales.
Then the tagline: Who will be next?)
Day 1, Part 1:
Chris McLean was standing at a familiar setting: The Dock of Shame at Camp Wawanakwa, despite the camp being sunk over six months earlier. Chris smoothed out his hair and sprayed his breath freshener into his open mouth.
"Welcome, devoted fans to Total Drama's sixth season: Total… Drama… Ultimate! I'm the host with the most... Chris McLean!" Chris began, showing a flawless smile for the camera.
"We'll be welcoming back our beloved thirty eight contestants who have competed over the last five seasons for the same prize: one million dollars. Once again, they'll battle for this money, while facing romance, drama, twists and turns and many of them, I can assure you! Right here at the new Camp Wawanakwa, only a few miles away from the original one! In this special two-part premiere episode, we'll reacquaint you with all thirty eight contestants, nineteen per episode and begin the biggest season ever! Roll the opening montage!"
(Theme Music Plays)
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine…
Cameron, Brick, Harold and Cody are seen chained to a wooden pole in the lake, sharks circling them while Jo and Eva laugh maliciously in a nearby boat.
You guys are on my mind…
Izzy and Sierra swing in on vines, Sierra rescuing Cody while Izzy jumps in with the sharks…
You asked me what I wanted to be…
DJ, Dawn and B are admiring the island's wildlife, Dawn taking pictures, until all three are suddenly attacked by a group of squirrels. Duncan, Scott and Lightning laugh nearby until Courtney turns up and scolds them.
And I think the answer's plain to see…
Heather is seen taking a selfie with Alejandro when Ezekiel jumps in behind them, causing Heather to scream loudly, dropping the phone and vomiting over Alejandro while Gwen videos it.
I want to be famous…
Katie, Sadie, Beth, Lindsay, Dakota and Anne Maria are shown sitting around a table, gossiping while Tyler and Sam watch lovingly….
I want to live close to the sun…
Staci and Owen try to use Anne Maria's spray tan but it explodes in their faces, leaving them both bright orange, much to the amusement of Noah and Justin, who are standing nearby.
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won…
Bridgette and Geoff are shown having a double date with Zoey and Mike, all four having a good time.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way…
Blaineley suddenly appears beside the couples' table, flipping it over and laughing manically…
I'll get there one day…
Trent is shown strumming his guitar while an unidentified, concealed hot blonde girl is shown watching with awe.
Cause I wanna be famous…
Chris and Chef are shown setting up dangerous challenges, laughing evilly,
(Rest of theme song plays)
Montage ends with all the campers posing for a group photo on the dock, the words Total Drama Ultimate appearing on the screen.
The camera panned back to Chris, still standing on the dock.
"Right, now that's sorted, let's run over the rules. In typical Total Drama style, the thirty eight contestants will be divided into two teams of nineteen, in a very unique way might I add- but more on that later! Anyway, as usual, contestants vote teammates off after they lose a challenge but as a special twist this season, I've got a curveball. Every second day, you, the public, will get to decide who leaves the island and never comes back… EVER! (1)"
Walking up the dock, Chris continued talking, while the camera followed.
"Now then, our first contestant this season: she most recently competed in Total Drama: All Stars and fell way short of the million. It's Eva 2.0 herself, Jo!"
A boat pulled up with an irate looking Jo on it, flexing her muscles.
"Welcome back, Jo!" said Chris cheerfully as Jo stepped off the boat.
Jo grabbed Chris by the scruff of the neck.
"Don't make me mad, McLean. Or it'll be trouble", said Jo forcefully.
"Understood", wheezed Chris as Jo released him and walked on down the dock.
Regaining his composure, Chris continued the introductions.
"Our next returnee: she also competed in All Stars and is without a doubt, the biggest psycho I've ever met, even bigger than Izzy! It's our Cody-mad lunatic, Sierra!"
Sierra, who seemed to have completely missed Chris' snide remarks about her, had a huge beam on her face as she approached the dock.
"Oh…My…God! I cannot believe I'm back for another season! And you got an Island that looks exactly the old one! If only my Cody-kins were here, this would be perfect", sighed Sierra dreamily, thinking of Cody.
"Yeah, yeah, your Cody obsession got old three seasons ago", said Chris, shoving Sierra past him although Sierra didn't seem to mind.
"Hey, Jo!" said Sierra, in an attempt to be friendly but Jo just growled menacingly at her.
"Ok then…" said Sierra awkwardly.
"Next up: returning from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, it's the compulsive liar herself, Staci!" said Chris, looking noticeably worried as he expected the outrageous lies to come flowing pretty quick.
"Hey, Chris! So great to be back! You know, my Great-Great Grandfather Timothy invented returning before that-"; Staci began before she was interrupted by Jo.
"Staci… Shut up!" yelled Jo.
Staci went red and stood beside Sierra, who patted her back comfortingly. Jo looked proud of herself while Chris nodded approvingly.
"Also from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, it's our military man himself, Brick!" said Chris.
As the boat pulled up, Brick saluted Chris.
"A pleasure to be back, Commander McLean", said Brick.
"Good to see you, soldier!" said Chris as Brick joined the other contestants.
"Brick", nodded Jo.
"Jo", replied Brick, briefly dropping his army persona.
"Hey! I'm Sierra, I don't think we've met", said Sierra, extending her hand out to Brick, who shook it.
"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am", nodded Brick.
"Time from our next contestant! He last competed in season three where he convinced us even further that he is a terrible jock. Tyler, everyone!" announced Chris.
Tyler jumped out of the boat he had arrived in and attempted to do a cartwheel but failed miserably, landing on his head.
Chris and Jo laughed while Sierra looked sorry for him and Staci was regaling Brick with her tale about how her Great Uncle Albert invented pain….
"I'll work on it, Chris!" vowed Tyler.
"You better, dude", Chris chuckled as Tyler stood beside Brick.
Chris did a headcount of the contestants that had already arrived and counted a total of five. Looking at his list of names, he quickly realised who was next.
"Next up, she last competed in World Tour and is one of Total Drama's most formidable competitors: The sista herself, Leshawna!"
Leshawna stepped off the boat and walked right past Chris, instead going to Sierra and giving her a hug.
"Girl, it's been too long!" said Leshawna.
"Missed you too, Leshawna", said Sierra, smiling.
Meanwhile, Brick gave Leshawna a salute while Jo sized up this potential competition.
Moving some of the contestants (i.e. Sierra) out of view from the camera, Chris continued on.
"Contestant number seven is one of the worst players in Total Drama history! The former feral beast himself, Ezekiel!" said Chris.
Ezekiel, now fully cured and looking relatively normal, although his hair was now a lot longer. He could probably out it into a ponytail but decided not to.
"Yo Chris, Big Zeke in the house, brah!" said Ezekiel, fist-pumping Chris, who he was now on slightly better terms with.
"Hang on a second…. Is Geoff possessing this fool?" asked Jo, openly showing her scorn towards Ezekiel.
Ezekiel huffed but was in a better mood once he saw Brick, who he had become close friends with between seasons.
"Next up, Total Drama's very own conjoined twins: Katie and Sadie!" said Chris, looking depressed almost immediately.
"Oh-My-God! Katie! We're actually on another season!" said Sadie excitedly as their boat pulled up.
"I know! It's amazing!" squealed Katie.
"Hello, Chris", said Sadie coolly while Katie had stopped and was staring at her fellow contestants.
"Something wrong, girl?" asked Leshawna.
Brick looked up and made eye contact with Katie, who blushed, twirling her hair around her fingers and pulled her and Sadie beside Jo, who was on the opposite side of the dock from Brick.
"Brah, I think Katie likes you", whispered Ezekiel excitedly to Brick.
"Hmm, she is a very nice looking girl", pondered Brick.
"Next up, Total Drama's resident CIT-", began Chris.
"Has she actually become a councillor yet?" interrupted Jo.
"Yeah, it's been like, three years", Sadie helpfully pointed out.
"No, I'm not a councillor yet because I've been a prisoner of this censored show!" said Courtney angrily, throwing her bags down on the dock as she arrived, glaring at Jo and Sadie.
"Ha, ha", muttered Tyler, under his breath, for he despised Courtney with a passion.
"Moving on… next up, one of the most devious contestants to ever grace this show, Heather!" said Chris.
Heather got off her boat, looking extremely bored.
"Chris, you may as well hand me the million now", said Heather, eyeing up the opposition. "These losers have no chance"
"Woah, Queen Bitch! You were all that five seasons ago but I ain't seen you win anything in all that time!" said Leshawna, taking exception to Heather's insults while the others murmured in agreement.
"I could say the same to you, Leshawna", sneered Heather, shoving past her and reluctantly standing beside Jo, who she deemed the most tolerable out of those who had arrived.
"Returning from Revenge of the Island, Total Drama's most positive contestant despite her cruel elimination: Dawn!" said Chris, coming as close to a smile as he could.
Dawn stepped off the boat, nodded at Staci, Leshawna and Jo politely and hugged Brick, Ezekiel and Sierra, who she had become close with while Katie and Sadie glared jealously….
"Hi, Chris! Back for another shot at the million!" said Dawn, happily.
"Good to see you, Dawn. Reckon you've got a good chance?" asked Chris.
"Certainly! My mind is clear and I'm completely focused", replied Dawn, while Heather and Jo snickered.
"Our next contestant hasn't competed since season two! She's gonna be really rusty! Beth, everyone!" said Chris.
Beth stepped onto the dock where she was warmly greeted by Leshawna and Sierra, while Heather glared at her.
"Ready to lose again, Beth?" asked Heather, sneering at her enemy.
"I actually won season two, Heather", Beth pointed out.
"You go, girl!" cheered Leshawna.
"Not in some versions (2)", muttered Heather sourly.
"Up next, also a returnee from Season 2: the male model himself, Justin!" said Chris.
Justin arrived, topless on the boat, his signature music playing to find all the girls ignoring him.
"Looks like you've lost your charm, dude", said Chris, patting his back with mock sadness.
"What? How can this be?!" said Justin, sounding genuinely devastated,
"Like, no offence, Justin, but Alejandro is like, ten times hotter than you!" blurted out Sadie.
"No he's not…", scoffed Justin.
"Yes, he is", said Katie and Sadie in unison while Heather didn't seem to notice they were talking about her boyfriend.
Justin went and stood beside Tyler, looking disheartened.
"Guess I'm as ugly as you, now", said Justin, close to sobbing. Tyler looked at him with disgust before walking off.
"Returning from Total Drama All Stars, the gaming addict himself: Sam!" said Chris.
Sam, predictably was engrossed in a small handheld game, muttering things like "Yes! New level!" or "Bonus points!"
Sam walked past Chris without even talking to him, which annoyed Chris.
"Dude… get back here!" whined Chris.
Sam still ignored him, much preferring to simply play the game.
Chris strode up to Sam and yanked the game from out of his hands.
"What the-", began Sam.
Chris briefly looked at the game with more than a hint of disgust before throwing it into the lake, where it sank immediately.
"Bro! What the hell?" asked Sam incredulously.
"That'll teach you to be more sociable, nerd", said Heather sneering and unwillingly getting herself into an argument with Leshawna about minding her own business.
Courtney walked over to Sam.
"If you want I could contact my lawyers and get them to sue the show for damage of property", offered Courtney, trying to be friendly as she hoped to form an alliance with someone.
Sam had watched season two and remembered it all too vividly.
"That's fine, thanks", replied Sam, going over to greet some other contestants.
"CHRIS!" screeched an all too familiar voice which caused most, if not all of those who had arrived to groan with disappointment that this person was here.
"Mildred", greeted Chris calmly.
"My name's BLAINELEY! I am not competing in another season of this twisted show!" screamed Blaineley, stomping her foot and nearly breaking the dock in the process.
"It's in your contract, Mildred", laughed Chris, waving the paper in her face.
Blaineley grabbed the contract and tossed it in the lake where unlike Sam's game, it floated.
"You see the thing about Chris is…", began Tyler.
"When it comes to contracts…", Justin continued, catching on.
"He makes LOADS of copies!" shouted most of the contestants in unison, with the exceptions being Heather, Courtney and Jo.
Blaineley roared at them to shut up, before reluctantly standing beside Justin, who she still thought was hot.
"Coming in at number seventeen, one of the most memorable contestants, despite only being in two seasons. Gwen's ex-boyfriend, the lovable guitarist himself, Trent!" said Chris.
Trent stepped off the boat, his guitar case slung over his shoulder, looking agitated.
"Chris, dude, why couldn't you have let me come at number nine", said Trent, sounding upset.
"Aww, Trent! Don't be sad!" said Katie and Sadie, running over to him and pulling him into a group hug.
"Oh, come on! You're not still obsessed with the number nine, are you?" asked Blaineley, taking the words out of Chris' mouth.
Trent laughed. "Ha-ha, no. I'm kidding. The fans of Total Drama on really blew the whole 'nine obsession' out of proportion (3)", explained Trent.
"Yeah, yeah, as great as that is-", cut in Chris, shoving Trent right into Ezekiel.
"I've got a show to do", finished Chris.
"What's up, dudes! Geoff in the house!" yelled, of course, Geoff, as he came riding in on a jet ski. He got off beside the dock, hopped off the jet ski, high fiving Trent on his way to Chris.
"Chris, brah, long-time no see, man", said Geoff happily.
"Good to see you, Geoff! Now, go stand over there", said Chris irritably, shoving Geoff in the way he had Trent.
"That's very rude", scolded Courtney, who was completely ignored by Chris.
"You didn't say that when I was shoved!" objected Trent, sounding offended.
"Well, sorry "nine-boy", get over it", said Courtney.
"So you accuse Chris of being rude, then you say that", said Tyler.
Courtney and Tyler then got into a heated argument which distracted the other campers, apart from Dawn, who was the only one who noticed the next contestant arriving.
"B!" yelled Dawn happily.
"Yep, coming in at number nineteen, the silent one himself, B!" said Chris.
All the other contestants, even Courtney and Tyler, turned around as B gave a self-concious wave.
"Well Ladies and Gentlemen, that's the end of part one in which we welcomed our first nineteen contestants to the season! Tune again for part two where we'll welcome the next nineteen on Total… Drama…. Ultimate!" said Chris, signing off.
A.N. That's Chapter 1 done! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review as I would love to hear your opinions on how the story could evolve and become better. Thanks!
(1): Just like Chris, said: YOU, the public (the readers) will get to decide who leaves at every second vote off! Whilst allowing the readers to vote has been done before, I am not aware of fic that has blended this and the traditional way.
(2): This line from Heather refers to the fact that different people win in different countries for this show. A slight, subtle breaking of the fourth wall.
(3): Refers to the crazy lengths some of the Total Drama fandom has expanded Trent's nine obsession to. I recommend the stories of RedEyedWarrior, they are exceptionally written and are a prime, hilarious example of this.