I will heal in time

Chapter one

Shadows POV

He's doing it again, giving me that guilty look that says he blames himself for what happened to me. I in no way blame him and I can't tell you how many times I've told him that but he doesn't listen, he never listens. I smile softly at him like I always do when he gives me that look.

"Please stop blaming yourself Sonic, it's not your fault." I assure him with a comforting voice but I can see he still does, he is clearly having one of his guilty days.

Every time he give me such a guilt ridden expression, which is getting less and less but it still pops up from time to time, it always maks me recall what happened that day and the moments after it...

Flashback (In Shadows POV still)...

"Ha! That all you got Egghead? Some big plan you had, sorry to say it kind of blew up in your face as always." I hear Sonic call out in the most cockiest tone I have ever heard him use to date.

Sometimes I do wonder why the Dr even bothers to carry on with his world domination plans when we always smash up his robot toys and win. I suppose it is something to do and it does kill the dry spats between missions for GUN. I look over at my boyfriend from the didtance we are and he seems to be gloating far too much and not even paying attention to the Dr any more either. How many times have I told him we haven't won until the Dr is long gone, I've lost count to how many.

What is the Dr muttering on about and what is he…holy shit!

"SONIC, WATCH OUT!" I shout to my boyfriend and start running as fast as I can to drag him away from that flying buzz saw heading straight for him.

It seems Sonic has finally noticed what was fast approaching him but I know he wont make it out of the way in time, I need to protect him and fast. I run harder, even though I am a tad on the tired side, and managed to stand in front of him with my back to the flying object.

"AHHHH!" I scream as the buzz saw hits my back making me stumble into Sonic, he grabbed me as soon as I fell into him.

I shut my eyes tightly and hissed through clenched teeth as the pain increased. It's still going round as it cuts deeper into my lower back, God this is so painful it is making me feel so sick to the stomach. I can just make out the Dr laughing in the distance and our friends gasping out in horror.

"SHADOW, NO!" I hear Sonic cry my name in distress.

I can feel it slowing down but the pain is horrendous and I can just imagine all the blood gushing out. I shakily open my eyes and look up to my boyfriend. I force a smile at him but I could tell he can see just how much pain I am in. He was in tears and had such a heartbroken expression as we lock eyes. I need to assure him I will be alright even if I wasn't sure myself. I was starting to feel really numb making my legs give way but luckily Sonic had a strong grip on me. I could no longer feel any sensation as the pain was at its peak, it was either that or I was very close to passing out. I couldn't even tell if it has stopped cutting into me or not. I can see my surroundings becoming dark, hear my heart beat pump in my ears as it raced from fear and panic. I was becoming so unfocused but I need to tell him something, anything.

"S-Sonic my love, I'm sorry but a world without you in it will surly p-perish." I just about managed to say before everything was getting too dark and numb…

Four days later…

Oh man do I feel weird, I slowly open my eye with a soft moan escaping my throat. I was feeling a little disorientated as I couldn't figure out where I was. The room I was in was clean, a little too clean for I can smell the disinfectant. What happened exactly? I look around with slow movements, turning my head left and right to try and figure out where I was. The walls were white and wait, a heart monitor? Oh chaos I'm in a hospital room so that means something bad happened. Ok I really need to calm down before that damn fast beeping noise gets on my nerves. I gasp lightly as the door burst opened and a nurse came rushing in.

"What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" I question her and trying so damn hard not to sound scared but that damn beeping is giving it all away.

"Shadow you need to calm down ok, just take deep breaths." She instructed me in a calm voice.

I do as she had asked me but it was not helping and I was not calming down. Why the hell would I? I do not remember what happened to have me in a place I do not enjoy being in and I want answers.

"Why am I in a damn hospital?" I demand in a more angered tone as I try to sit up but for some reason my bottom half was asleep, probably from being in the same position for way too long. It happens from time to time so I am not that worried.

"Shadow please you need to calm down." The nurse stressed to me but to hell with her.

"Why the hell are my legs asleep? What kind of drugs have you been giving me, I demand answers now!" I growl as I was clearly being ignored and it was really pissing me off.

"If you do not calm down then I will be forced to sedate you…right that's it I warned you." What the hell? She is not coming near me with anything.

"Get the hell away from me…don't call for help just, no get away." I cry out with anger as she came at me with a needle full of sedation then had the damn cheek to call for assistance.

That assistance came quickly and I am now being pinned down by two male nurses. I growl with rage as that damn female nurse brought that sharp needle closer to me, all's I wanted is some chaos damn answers not to go back to sleep.

"Ahhh hey that hurts, get the hell off me." I really hate needles if you can't already guess.

Finally I'm being freed from those two nurse's grip but damn does that sedation work fast. I can already feel the effects and I'm kind of getting a little sleepy too.

"Now just relax Shadow, that's it. Go to sleep, I will come and check on you in a little while." I just about made out before my eyes began to close slowly.

I hate hospitals and being sedated, damn that beeping…

Three hours later…

"No shut that damn thing off Sonic, give me five more minutes." I mutter as I can hear a beeping sound from the alarm clock.

"Shadow babe, wake up." I hear Sonics voice and boy does he sound worried.

I slowly open my eyes and blinked a few times quickly as my vision was on the blurry side of things. Oh yeah, I'm in a hospital bed and that beeping is the heart monitoring machine I'm hooked up to. Great just what I wanted to wake up to. I turn my head slowly and smile as my eyes lay on my boyfriend. Why does he look so sad?

"Sonic, what is the matter? I am fine my love and hopefully going home very soon." I softly say to him but for some reason that only made him tear up.

"Sh-Shadow I'm so, so sorry babe. I never should have let my guard down." What is he on about? Oh I really hate it when he cry's, it gives me such a sharp pain in my chest to see him so upset.

"Sonic please don't cry." I sadly say to him and reach out to wipe some of those tears away.

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry." Sonic is really starting to scare me now, what is his fault? What does he have to be sorry for?

"What do you mean my love?" I ask and I don't need to look in the mirror to see I have a confused expression present on my features.

"You do not remember?" He asks me and sighs sadly.

Sonic I wouldn't have asked if I could remember.

"I do not so care to tell me what happened? No one else seems to want to around here." I say as I try to cheer him up and smiled up at him but he just seems far too upset.

"Eggman pulled a dirty move after we stopped his latest plan and a buzz saw came flying at me but I didn't notice until it was too late…you, you jumped in the way and got hit by it." Is that it? Is that why he is so upset?

"But I am fine so there is no need to be so upset, accidents happen my love." I assure him with a gentle tone but why isn't he feeling more happier though?

"No Shadow, you are not fine. You will never be and it is all my fault. If I wasn't being so cocky I would have seen it coming and would have been able to avoid it without you having to jump in."

How am I not fine?

"Sonic believe me I am fine so stop beating yourself up about it alright. I am sure in a day or two we will be walking out of here and going back home together. We can put all of this behind us and keep it there. I know what will cheer you up, when I get out of here how about we have a race? I'll even give you a three second head start, so what do you say?" I am really trying to cheer him up, heck I offered a three second head start but nothing, in fact he is crying again.

Wait what is he…why cant I feel his hand on my leg? The covers must be thick, wait why cant I feel the covers on my lower half of my body? Shouldn't I be able to feel the weight of it? My bottom half must seriously be dead asleep from that sedation still.

"Sonic? I think my legs are still sedated, think you could call someone to fix that? Maybe they have something to wake them up. I can't feel them or the weight of these sheets or your hand for that matter." I am officially starting to panic at the sad expression Sonic is giving me right now and curse that damn heart monitor and that damn beeping.

"They are not asleep Shadow…you…you are paralysed from the waist down and it's all my fault."

No there must be a mistake here, I can't be paralysed. I'm the Ultimate Lifeform and can heal any injuries no matter how bad they are. Heck I remember almost having an arm severed once and it healed back fine. This is wrong, this is not right, I can't be. This has to be a sick joke played on my expense but Sonic wouldn't joke about something like this, he knows better not to.

"Shadow?" I hear Sonic whispered voice but I just can't seem to respond as I look down to my lower body.

I reach out and place a hand onto my right upper leg but I do not feel it. I start to dig my small claws into the covers and therefore into my leg but still nothing. Not even a twang of pain, just nothing. I begin to hyperventilate and I can just faintly hear the machine beside me going nuts as my heart begins to pump faster and faster as panic fills me completely.

"N-No. I, I can't be. No this is, no." I whisper between pants and my head starts to spin, making the room go unfocused.

"Shadow calm down babe, you are going to pass out." I can faintly hear him over the pounding pulse in my ears and I know I will but I can't, this cannot be happening.

"I-I can't…" I'm just too in shock and the world is going dark and I can't do this…

Some time later…

I'm wide awake now and just staring up at the ceiling. It is night time and Sonic went home an hour ago I was told. I have not long woken up from the devastating news I had been told by my boyfriend hours ago. I am paralysed, paralysed! How can this be? I should have healed and be fine but for some reason I am not recovering from this. Maybe it will just take a little longer for me to recover fully. Yes that has to be it. I was told by a nurse half an hour ago that the cut was deep and the buzz saw was embedded into my spine, severing a few nerves in the process. The nerves that sent signals from my brain to my lower half of my body, of all the damn places to be sliced it had to be there. I am sure I will heal, I have healed worse in my time.

"Still not asleep Shadow, would you like something to help you?" When did she get here? I did not hear the door open and a nurse walk in.

"No thank you, I will be fine." I calmly say back but in truth I am far from fine but at least they unhooked that monitor from me so I don't have a constant beeping in my ear. That and I am able to lie without being found out for my heart is still pumping fast but not too fast, I am still able to seem calm without giving myself away.

"Alright Shadow just press the button if you change your mind." She tells me in such a sincere tone to me or was that pity I hear?

I said nothing and only nod to show her I heard her. She left the room and I heard the door close shut. I have the call button close to my left hand but I know I will not change my mind or call out for help.

I don't know how much time had passed as I just lay still and just stare up but I do know one thing, dawn was approaching for I can hear birds singing their morning song. It's the end of winter and spring is approaching so that means the sun will be rising soon, making it around six-thirty in the morning. Well I think it is that time, it is hard to know when there is no clock in here.

"I can't believe I am paralysed." I whisper to myself as I try really hard to except this, maybe in a few days I will grow to adjust to my new life…well until I heal and regain my legs then things will go back to normal for me. I should at least get some sleep before they jab me with a needle again, I do not want that to happen. Not that there is any point since morning is practically here but I should have a couple of hours sleep. After all I do need to conserve energy to heal my body.

A few hours later…

"Shadow." A soft voice hits my ears, making me groan tiredly and I slowly open my eyes half way.

"What time is it?" I ask as I know it is day time now, the sun beaming through the window was a given to that.

"It is nine o'clock and time for a bath to freshen you up. We also need to change your bandages too. After that you can have your breakfast." The nurse is kidding, she and that other one in here with us is going to bath me, seriously?

"I'll pass thanks." I dryly say as I was not impressed with this idea.

"I do not mean to offend you Shadow but I would really advise that you allow us to give you a bath." Why does she sound a little awkward? What is she getting at exactly?

"Why do I need one all of a sudden?" I question with a raised brow as I was still not impressed with being bathed by strangers.

"You erm need washing down there, you know around your…"

"Oh hell no, you are not saying what I think you are saying?" I don't even give her a chance to finish that sentence as I shouted out my words to stop her from continuing that.

"You are inconstant and you have no feeling therefore you need a good wash and re-padding." The other nurse said with little empathy in her tone.

I just know I am blushing madly, I can feel the heat in my cheeks as they take the breaks off my bed then wheel the bed out of the room. This is going to be such an embarrassing experience, I could just die right here right now. I was pushed into some kind of bathing area of the hospital and in truth I didn't even know hospitals have these. I paid the nurses no attention as they got to work with stripping the covers off me then doing what ever they needed to do. I just stare up at the tiled ceiling and feeling utterly humiliated with all of this.

"Ok Shadow we are going to lift you up and get you into the hoist chair so we can lower you into the pool of water." I hear one of them say to me.

I just nod to show I heard and dared not to give anyone eye contact as I was being pulled up gently then made to sit in this special chair that had straps to keep me from falling out of it. It took so much effort to not break down in tears as I felt so degraded and embarrassed. I happen to see in the corner of my eye the so called pad that was on me to keep the bed sheets from being soiled with waste and was that also a bag filled with my...I closed my eyes shut as I was struggling to stop the tears from falling, I did not want to see my waste on that pad or in that bag.

I could feel someone strapping me in place as one of the straps was going across my chest. I then felt the chair move up then down again. I didn't feel any water until it hit my chest. I opened one eye and wished I hadn't, I was chest deep in a tub of soapy water and now I was being washed down below by one of the nurses. I felt my cheeks burning as I closed my eyes tightly. If I cannot see it happening then I can try to imagine something else like…like Sonic, yes I'll imagine I am with my loving boyfriend and we are lazing together on the sofa.

An hour later…

I was pushed back towards my room and I was now all clean with, sad to say, a new pad on and an empty bag to catch my urine. How they even managed to attatch a catheter to my erm actually I'm going to put it down to years of experience as a nurse. My dressing was changed and checked by a Doctor as well. God I hate this but it wont be forever, it can't be. I'm finally back in my room and thankfully the two left me alone and closed my door. When I get back home with Sonic things will be better, I can use the toilet and not have to worry about these damn pads or having strangers wash me. I wonder what I have for breakfast anyway? I do hope something I don't have to sit up right for, I don't want to particularly see my useless lower body. I am better if I am laying down so I don't have a reminder of what has happened to me, maybe I should stop thinking about it too.

"Shadow, hey babe. I have your breakfast." I hear Sonic's voice as he enters my hospital room.

No matter what situation I am in, his voice always puts a smile on my face that and the fact he brings breakfast.

"Thank you my love, so what am I blessed with this morning?" I chuckle lightly as I turn my head to face him, he was now standing beside my bed with a tray that had a cover on it.

"No clue love." He replies to me sadly.

Oh I do wish he will cheer up, this isn't his fault. I was the one to jump in the way and take the hit.

I watch him grab a chair from across the room and he sits down on it beside me, balancing the tray in one hand. I keep a smile on my muzzle as he slowly starts to take the cover off. I roll my eyes as I know he is doing this on purpose then I raise a brow at what my breakfast was.

"What in the name of chaos is that?" I ask as my eyes are glued to a bowl of light brown runny stuff.

"Erm I have no idea but I think it is supposed to be good for ya babe. Want to try it?"

I am not eating that!

"I think I will pass thanks, I would have preferred toast or something less…runny at least." I sigh out with disappointment as I was kind of hoping for toast, I don't need to necessary sit up for toast. I watch him put the cover back on and place the tray with that bowl of, in my opinion, slop onto the side table.

"Yeah…anyway I have some good news for ya that will surly put a more happier smile on your face babe. I spoke to the Doctors before I came in here and they said you should be able to come home in a few days from now. He said your wound is healing very fast from the many operations done on your back. He is going to give it a check over then hopefully give us the all clear to discharge ya." That has to be the best news I have heard for a long time and yes it has made me smile, very happily.

"That's great news, does that mean I'll be walking soon then?" I ask with a joyful tone as I just cannot wait to feel my legs once more and run for hours non-stop.

"Shadow, babe, the Doctors say you will never get the feeling of your lower body back and it is only your open wounds that are healing fast…I'm so sorry love, I know what this means for you but I promise you I will not ever abandon you and remain by your side." Sonic sure knows how to crush a damn dream doesn't he, I suppose he is just informing me of what the professionals have told him.

"Right yes of course…I suppose I need to get used to no running, walking or…or." God this is just horrible, I can't believe I am breaking down in tears but damn it all.

I can feel Sonic pull me closer to him and a soft shushing noise hit my ears as well as my sobs. I bury my face into his chest as he holds me at a funny angle. I've damn well held back for this long only to finally realise what I am going to miss out on doing. Not just the walking but mine and Sonics races and that also means I no longer have a job at GUN either. I can feel my quills being gently stroke as I finally allow all my emotions out, making Sonics fur damp with tears.

"I-I hate th-this." I mutter into his chest as I cry harder with utter horror at all the things I will no longer be able to do.

I really, really do hope this is only temporary and I will heal. It will just take time.

Three days later…

"Ready love?" Sonic asks me as I am sitting in my mode of transport, a damn wheelchair. I'm by the bed I have been living in since well I'm not all to sure but I do know it has been enough time.

"Yes I am very eager to get out of here and finally go home." I reply with a forced smile as I look at my boyfriend.

The last three days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I broke down in tears at least six times, became depressed for some of the time and in truth still am a little. I am now hopeful that I will heal and excited that I am going home after getting the all clear half an hour ago. I have had all my friends visit at different times in the last three days and some of the time they were here was not pleasant. The pity and guilt displayed on their features was enough to make me very annoyed and snappy. Of course my excuse was that I am just finding it hard to adjust to my new life, well it was half true I am still adjusting. Rouge had informed me I no longer have a job at GUN so I guess that means I have a whole lot of spare time on my hands, whether or not that is a good thing is yet to be determined.

"Great, lets go babe and get you home. Our friends are waiting to welcome you home and Amy baked blueberry muffins for you. I tried one and you are going to love them Shads." Sonic tells me with a gentle voice as he moves my wheelchair and starts to push me out of the room.

Goog bye hospital room, I will not miss you.

"Sounds nice, I cannot wait…you have hid those pads right?" I ask with slight worry as I do not want anyone to see them.

Yes I know I do not plan on using them but Sonic managed to convince me to agree with getting one pack for just in case. I don't know what this just in case means but I only said yes to basically shut him up.

"Yep, put them under our new bed babe. You are going to love our bed, it has a remote and everything." I listen to Sonic as he answers my question with a chuckle at the end of his words.

I don't know what is so amusing about them or about my choice in having them hidden out of sight. Finally the lift is in view and oh look I'm the perfect height to press the call button, which I totally do before Sonic gets to do it. Yes I know it is childish in having a little race on who presses the call button first. It's the only damn racing I am capable in doing right now so yes it will be done and I am victorious too. I smirk as I wait for the lift to come and I can just feel Sonic was pouting behind me, that and I can see a blurred reflection on the lift doors.

"This lift takes forever." I hear Sonic complain and that sentence makes me roll my eyes as yes it would take a while since we are in a damn hospital.

When it finally got here Sonic pushed me inside and almost crashed me into the side where the doors pop out of. I frowned with crossed arms at this and alls I get is a 'sorry babe' and a grin from my oh so lovely boyfriend.

"So you should be Faker, anyone would think you are trying to kill me with your oh so not brilliant driving skills." I say in an irritated voice as I was getting too impatient in getting out of this hospital.

"Yeah I better stop making it so obvious love or I'll get arrested too soon…I'm kidding. We are almost out of here and it's a lovely day today too. Spring is most definitely here now." I swear he can be so annoying at times and I am the sarcastic one thank you very much.

"It will be nice to get outside and feel the sun on my fur and the breeze from the wind." I sigh a little sadly as usually on these kind of days I would be running with Sonic and enjoying the race to the lake where we would relax for an hour or so before racing home.

"Cheer up love, we can still race. I can run super fast while you are in your wheelchair." Yeah like I want to be killed Sonic.

"I don't think so, I'd rather chaos control than have you run with me stuck in this damn thing." I say to that and what do you know the lift doors pin open and yes I can see the front doors to this place.

Now we just need to get out of here before anyone sees me in this thing…that's a good point. I do hope the news to my current predicament hasn't been aired to the whole damn world.

"Sonic no one else knows about my erm disability do they?" Please say no, please say it wasn't broadcasted.

"Well…if I say no will you believe me babe?" Sonic you do not sound confident and very nervous.

"It was broadcasted wasn't it?" I sigh with a shake of my head as we finally leave the hospital.

"Yeah it was but the good news is people are respectfully keeping a distance, mainly because they are scared you might throw chaos spears since they don't know your current state of mind. Hey at least you wont be bombarded by the public and can get out of here without a whole news station wanting the latest update." Sonic the people do have a point, I will start throwing chaos spears at them.

"Good I guess but you are right, it is a nice day today, regardless of the cool wind." Yep the sun is somewhat warm and I'm just so happy to get some fresh air that hasn't been blown through an open window.

(Not bad for an opening chapter to my latest Sonadow story, it's just a taste of what is to come later on as I wish to see what you, the reader, thinks of it also to see how may find interest in it. So if you do think it is worth reading then please, review, add to fab list and follow the story for it may be some time before I really start on it. It all depends on how much interest it gets. The chapters after this one wont be as long and it will all be spoken in Shadow's point of view, so we wont know what he doesn't know and only know what he sees, thinks and hears. Thank you for reading and I do hope you find it an interesting read…)