[trained.]
It takes a long time to realize exactly what he has done to her.
He notices when she's sitting on the bed;
eyes closed, curled up in a ball, crying. It's awful.
Maybe, if he had told her no the first time around he wouldn't be here. He knows he should've just chosen, nina or joy. He knew the answer, he's not sure why he was so reluctant.
"I'm not good at anything." She says to herself. "Can't get Fabian, can't get the editor job, hell, I can't even read properly! You're so stupid, Joy. Stupid, stupid, stupid."
This is what he's done. It's not entirely his fault, but he'll take the blame. If he had just said yes to her she wouldn't be here. And maybe if he agreed to stay with her last night she might have been able to win that newspaper editor slot. What kind of study buddy was he? well, a fuddy duddy, he thought.
He could have helped her. He could have been there for her. He could have stopped this.
In reality, he could've done a lot of things.
But instead he watches her. He watches as she repeats all of things she has heard since her return. useless, stupid, bitch, wannabe, boyfriend stealer, no good; the list goes on. She's been trained to believe these things, even if they aren't true. because technically he and nina were broken up, he thought.
He could do two things:
Go in there and help her, like a good friend would. Or he could stay out of it, for Nina and Amber s sake.
But he's never been good at making those kinds of decisions,