Another day is about to begin. Am I prepared for its events?

My brown eyes lifted hesitantly as I heard that buzzing noise. My alarm clock flashed its red, telling me in its own way that it was already time to wake up. I didn't want to go to school today. I don't think I could handle it. Maybe today I could just sit in bed and do nothing all day… that would be fun wouldn't it? I mean, I haven't done that for a while now…what's it been, three, four days max?

Reaching out I smacked down on the "snooze" button of my clock. Finally it shut up and returned to its normal function: telling the time. It was 6:00 a.m… Burrowing into my little cocoon of warm blankets, I decided I could sleep for another five or so minutes. I drifted back into my happy dream world, one where I could finally be free and happy. My conscious told me to wake up but I shut the voice out and slept more. If I didn't wake in time, I could always just go back to sleep and skip the day again.

-

Drowsily I yawned, picking myself up from the cozy mattress. I sat up in bed still tired, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. The sun shone brightly outside my window, but my drapes were drawn so I couldn't necessarily see the light. My room was as dark as usual. Climbing out of bed I made my way to the bathroom to use the facilities and perhaps wash up. I had pulled a late night, staying up till way past normal. I needed to work on all the homework I had been missing. My head ached as I remembered I only got about a fourth of that book done.

After my little bath I finally decided to check the clock. I wouldn't be surprised if it said one or two p.m. at all. Peeking an eye at it as I dried my long white hair I saw it was indeed late. Only about three or four hours of school had passed… sighing I knew I had some new homework to accompany the load I had to do last night. Later Yugi and what's his name would come and deliver the homework to me. I bet they had nothing else to do so I guess the teacher forced them to do it each day.

Collapsing onto my bed I sighed and decided to try and eat. I didn't have much money left and my food was surprisingly low. Everyone I could mooch off of was in school and I don't think they'd much like it if I broke into their house for the sake of eating. If I went to the game shop Yugi's grandfather owned, then he would ask why I wasn't in school if I was feeling okay. All my long-sleeved shirts were dirty… and I think people would stare and try to "help" me if they saw my arms. Its not that I am ashamed of my scars- its just that I am afraid of what people will do if they catch sight of them. My so called friends may leave me alone if they saw them. I preferred just leaving them concealed so as not to disturb the environment around me. It'd be less a problem if no one knew about what I did. It's my little secret.

I furrowed my brow as I thought about what had happened to Malik or Marik. I knew he had left to go with his sister back to Egypt and live a nice little life. But I wondered what he was doing now. Was he thinking about me as I was thinking about him? I hoped so. Before he could leave, he met with me and promised me one day he was going to return for me. He said he was going to try to write as much as possible. Well I have gone about a month without a letter now and I have to admit I am getting worried. I glanced over at the desk in the corner and saw the table stacked with worn letters from him.

Damn, how I wish I could have gone with him; maybe I would be happier there. Here nothing but pain and sadness followed me. It seemed like ever since I met Yugi and Yami and everyone else, my life has taken oh so many turns for the worse. Maybe it was because I had so many feuding feelings for them. On one hand I had Anzu and Honda. They were fun and they liked to talk. But then there was that trouble some Jounouchi, that cold blooded Seto, and that little Yugi boy with his Yami. I couldn't have anyone of them, so I was extremely overjoyed when I met Marik. Sure, it seemed as though I only joined forces with him to get that Rod, but I was helping Bakura make his choice. I somehow convinced him to be his partner, just long enough for me to try to crack the code around him. I wasn't desperate but what happens happens, so I couldn't help it if we fell in love while working as partners. He had that sinister charm to him and he was powerful…as well as good looking. How much better could it get for me? Yea sure it would be awesome if he came in chocolate or something but I could play out that fantasy later. (I didn't realize it but I licked my lips while thinking of this).

I remember the first time he saw my little carvings. He didn't understand what I did to myself, but he picked up that it wasn't good. For a while I stopped for him, but soon old habits came back and I began again because he wasn't around that much and because we couldn't show our love to the world. He needed to rule the world and well it wouldn't look too good if he had a lover at the time he was trying. A diabolical tyrant with a loving gentle boyfriend. Now do you see my point?

Turning on my side I lay my head on the soft grey sheets of my bed. They weren't as soft as his chest but it would have to do for now. Soon I would get my hearts desire and soon I would be with him in Egypt. I would leave this place and leave the area of so much pain…

I must have been thinking for quite a while because before I knew it the doorbell rang. Jumping I fell out of bed and hit the ground with a low thud. I grunted and picked myself up slowly, angry at the disturbance…sighing I filed away the daydream I mentioned earlier and staggered towards the door. My head swirled with dizziness and disoriented ness as I clambered down the stairs in a hurry to get the intruders out so I could get back to my daydream. Nearly tripping onto my face I made it to the front door "gracefully". Peeking out he small circle I reluctantly opened the doors after unlocking them, putting on my fake smile. Jounouchi and Yugi stood in the doorway holding a small stack of paper. Oh great, just what I needed more homework…

A/N Noticed how I haven't used any dialogue up until this point?

"Hello…Here's your homework. We thought you were coming today. What happened?" Yugi handed me the paper and spoke in a cheerful tone. Jou just stayed in the back waiting for his friend to finish. "Oh, I didn't feel too well today either. My stomachs been upset for a week now. I couldn't get up so I decided to stay." I flashed them a fake smile again and took the papers. Jou glanced my way and tapped his foot against the ground. Well, sorry there Jounouchi but you are going to have to be patient while I talk to your little lover. I thought happily to myself as I watched him. " Thanks a lot Yugi. It means A LOT to me." I added a hint of tease as I said this to the boy who blushed. Yugi looked away to hide his smile. "You're welcome. It was nothing really I mean you haven't been feeling—"

"Dontya think we should go now Yugi?" Jou interrupted with impatience laced in his voice. Grinning inwardly I put a fake innocent look upon my features. "Oh I'm sorry, am I holding you back from something? Please don't mind me, just go on ahead and have fun. I really appreciate it you two. Thanks, I have work to do now…" Jou gave me a piercing look and smirked. "Oh yea, sorry Jou-chan. Well, your welcome. Bye now, hope to see ya in school tomorrow!" The little pharaoh ran of with his friend waving back at me. I nodded my head and closed the door.

They could be quite bothersome when they wanted to be. Still, it was fun to see what they would do if I nudged them in that little bit…

I tossed aside the small pile of paper and sighed. It landed with a thunk on the small oak table by the door. Great…my head hurt enough already. I headed back up the stairs and decided to hesitate. For some reason or another, I found it odd how I couldn't feel Bakura trying to take over me… also odd how I couldn't find him anywhere around the house. Shrugging I figured he had gone out earlier to go drink or something like that. Not my problems, although I did worry about him quite often. He was like a big brother to me…an abusive big brother but nonetheless a brother. I don't know how I feel about him yet. I have to give it more thought.

Finishing my journey up the stairs, I took that important turn and headed towards my room, pausing only slightly to glance in the general direction of Bakura's. It had been my old one, but alas he took over it and claimed it as his own. It was just a dark room, one much like his own soul room. Bakura had taken away all the posters and all the "decorations" Ryou had put up and replaced them with morbid images and different varieties of weapons he had collected. It was saddening because I loved that room, but he was stronger and a danger to me- he could kill me. I could part with a room if it meant I could stay alive.

Sighing I realized at that moment I could never bring company over. If I did, Bakura would go on a terrorizing spree…. I'd become even more isolated. He'd probably even threaten to kill one of them if they so much as glanced his way. No, I could not invite them over, unless I wanted them to die. Maybe I could bring over … No, I'm turning into Bakura!

Groaning I continued on my own little venture and kicked open my door to reveal my room. It was a plain grey with basically no coloration or decorations to be frank. It had only one small white window in the far side and a small oak desk with my prized laptop and letters. The bed was still undone and the sheets were hanging off the side as I had left them. I was usually a tidy person, but as I mentioned before, my darker half was rubbing off on me and so I became a bit less of such a neat geek. Shuddering, I made my way to the laptop only to discover I had forgotten to charge it after last night's websurfing. That meant I couldn't get on. And that sucked.

7:34 p.m. already? That was quick…I sat doing my homework like a good little boy. Somewhere downstairs I heard the front door open, and I immediately knew Bakura was home. I listened closely and heard him clambor up the stairs, make a left, then slide into his room. The door was then slammed, so hard that a small book I kept fell off the table beside my bed. He must be angry or drunk. I bet later on he is going to go out again with those floozies and drink to his hearts content. Why couldn't he just stop this incessive need for the bottle…didn't he know it was affecting me as well?

Ever since he got his own body, he was constantly going out and partying like crazy. It first didn't bother me, but now I worry he's gonna get in some serious shit one day. Yami's been really good and responsible like expected, and he's been lusting after Seto for quite the while. Sure, he acts like he isn't, but we all know he is. Sad really, to see him like this. Jou had Yugi, I guess Seto had Yami, Anzu was left alone…(Thank Ra, I doubt there is a man alive that could put up with her repeating friendship pep talks) and Honda had Otogi. I'm alone really, and as I mentioned way before, everyone was outta my grasp. Everyone but Marik, but he is over a million miles away.

8:15 pm. Glowed brightly on my little clock. I grumbled and looked around my room, trying hard to find something to entertain me. Finding nothing I decided to do the only thing I could do…Sleep. It was the only thing that brought me relief now a days…in my dreams I could be happy and free. I could be with Marik. Hm…how can I expect to get anything done when all I want to do all day is sleep. Oh well…I could hear the door to Bakura's room open again, and this time shut lightly. I heard the chains he always wore on his jeans jingle as he tiptoed down the stairs and out the door. I stole a glance at what he was wearing- just for fun. He wore the usual …all black. Chains on his jeans, and a fishnet longsleeve under his black shirt. Sighing, I somehow find myself wishing I could be like him- careless and cold. If I was a cold hearted beast, then I would be in power; I would be in control. How fun…that would be.

I climbed into my bed, not much caring about the night clothes others so oftenly wore. I pulled the warm blankets up to my chin and sighed, shutting off the light with my free hand. I knew my heaven wouldn't last but however long I got I was satisfied with. Shutting my eyes, I listened hard to the silence surrounding me. Nothing stirred, just the way it was every night. I knew Bakura would come home in a few hours, and by then I would be getting up to go to school. Oh..yes School. I would have to figure out If I was going tomorrow by the morning. I needed to go, but I didn't feel like it.

Somewhere far off, I could hear the song by My chemical Romance…I could hear that song "I'm Not okay". I laughed and thought how ironic it was…it fit me perfectly. But alas, no one could see that now could they? Hm…Oh well..thats just the nature of human beings, is it not? I felt myself slip into a nice dream, leaden with Marik and happiness. I could sense I was smiling, but I did nothing about it. After a few minutes I was soundly asleep, curled into a ball on my little mattress. Tomorrow would be another day, maybe a good one maybe a bad one.

Who knows…and For now….Who cares?