Shades of Gray

by The Confused One and UntapdTreasure81

Summary: We wrote this after seeing the promo for Season 7 premiere. It's a pre-ep based on what we think the first episode will be like. Bobby/Alex ship

Disclaimer: We do not own them so please do not sue.

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Alex had her knees tucked up to her chin as she stared blankly at the TV. The TV wasn't even on. She just kept reliving the last week over and over in her mind. Joe...Bobby...the things she had said to him. She buried her face in her knees as a new wave of tears took over.

Bobby couldn't get her words out of his head. He was feeling so guilty. What right had he had to go digging into her past, dragging these things out that she had rather forget. He felt horrible. He had to make it right. He had to check on her, find out if she could ever forgive him. He had been treating her horribly and so much like this was just another case. How could he have not seen how this was affecting her? With a sigh, he forced himself to walk slowly up to the door. He knocked softly, hoping she'd answer, and he wouldn't have to use his key.

Alex ignored the knocking. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to be left alone so that she could cry and get her emotions in check before going to work and facing him. Facing him and pretending that everything was peachy. She sneered and balled her hands into fists. Why did she have to always bury her feelings? Because you can't let anyone see you weak. You cried in front of him today. What could be more humiliating? Totally falling apart...

Bobby sighed after a moment. She either knew it was him and didn't want to see him or she was avoiding everyone. He wasn't sure which scenario he liked better. Pulling out his spare key, he unlocked the door and slipped inside. He cautiously called out, "Eames?"

She remained where she was, staring straight ahead. She heard him come fully into the room. "Go home, Bobby."

Bobby ignored her order to go home. She hadn't given him a chance to talk earlier. She had taken off. She was hearing him out this time. He moved to her. Squatting down in front of her, he sighed softly. He moved to where he could see her eyes. "I'm sorry...about this afternoon, about...all of this. I haven't been fair. I didn't mean to...seem like I was disregarding you. I swear. We got into this case...and I started digging... I thought...you'd want to know, that you should know."

Her eyes squeezed shut. "You were so cold...so...You didn't care about what it would do to me...how I'd feel..." her hands were still balled tight.

Bobby swallowed thickly against the emotions he was thinking. He hesitated a moment before reaching out and taking her hands. His voice was soft and full of regret. "I...know. I shouldn't have... I'm really sorry. I'm so very sorry." He had no excuse. He had treated her like she was any other witness or even perp in any other investigation. It had been unacceptable, and he couldn't believe the words had come out of his mouth now. "Because I do care." You have no idea how much. "You're...my best friend. One of the few people I have left. I didn't meant to hurt you, and I have no excuse for doing that..."

Alex's eyes slowly opened and met his. She sniffled, wiping her nose on her knees. "You're my best friend too," she finally managed to whisper. And more. She swallowed hard. "Joe...I knew it wasn't totally on the up and up..." She looked away from him. "The shooting...the neighborhood...It didn't...fit."

Bobby looked away and at the ground. "You...didn't want to...think about it...believe that it was more than you were told." He understood that. She had loved him. Now he had come through with his all knowing mindset and decided he knew what was best and what she needed to know. The news about his parentage had sent him on a mission. Everyone was better off knowing all secrets. There wasn't room for less. He had lost sight of his better judgment and her. Not everyone wanted to know. He had taken the decision from her. "I should never have... I should have left it alone. I know that, and I'm so sorry,...Alex."

She swallowed hard and moved her eyes over him. He was truly sorry. She could see that in his body language, hear it in his voice. She pulled one hand from his, and turned his face to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry too..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He was slightly confused. Furrowing his brow, he quietly ventured, "What...are you apologizing for?" She had nothing to apologize for. He was the one who had been on a kamikaze mission, the one who had pushed, who had forced her to do, read, and see things she hadn't wanted to and hadn't been ready for. He was never going to forgive himself.

"For yelling at you, Bobby...for my behavior. I had no right..." She softly began.

Bobby shook his head. He gave the hand he was still holding a squeeze. He immediately interrupted, "You had every right to yell at me. I was out of line. Doing things and looking at things I had no right to. I put it up." He didn't want to hurt her more. He wasn't going to push anymore. He had opened a huge can of worms, and he'd force himself to only find out more if and when she wanted to. "I'm not going to touch it again, Alex." Her name slid easier off of his tongue. He was immediately finding how much he liked saying it. "Not unless you want to, and we never have to again. We can let it go completely." He was fine with that.

She swallowed hard at his sincerity. He'd do that for her. If she asked... "I'm not sure...what I want, Bobby." Her free hand moved to his cheek, stroking it gently with her thumb. She didn't know what had possessed her to do it, but she the same unspoken need kept her hand against his cheek, staring deep into his eyes. "Bobby..." she whispered.

Bobby swallowed hard. He was fighting hard against his feelings. His skin felt like it was on fire where she had touched him. He couldn't look away from her. Every instinct told him this was horrible timing. They couldn't make a move right now. Even if she felt the same way, it wouldn't be right. Not with everything about Joe coming out, but he was so drawn to her. He couldn't seem to force himself away.

He whispered, "Then we let it go unless you decide you want to...dig further." He couldn't stop himself. He closed the small gap between them and let his lips brush against hers.

Her whole body trembled as he pulled back. He still held one of her hands. She felt him start to pull it away. She held fast to it. She kissed him again; longer this time. Pulling back slowly, she said with a shaky voice, "What are we doing?"

Bobby took a ragged breath. His eyes were wide and there was pure terror there. He shook his head. "I-I don't know. I'm sorry, Eames. I shouldn't have... That was so far over the line... It won't happen again." He started to get up, completely freaking out. Putting physical distance between them would help. Damn it, Bobby. You just have to keep pushing. You have to destroy everything. You really are going to chase her away and inflict irreconcilable damage if you don't stop.

Watching him stand up, her eyes narrowed. "What...no...Bobby..." She stood up with him, on shaking legs. She reached for his hand as he started to turn away. "What if I want it to happen again?"

TBC…

A/N: I hope this wasn't confusing. We hope to make it all clear within the next chapters...