Scenes from the lives of An Shoji and Mariko Misono:

Part 1: The Pain of First meetings

Shojo Ai/Fluff/Comfort

For as long as I could remember my life was a living hell. It seemed as if from the minute I woke up in the morning till the moment I went to sleep, some outside force was trying its best to make me as depressed as humanly possible. I think it all started when mom died, after that my father was never really the same, I don't know what went through dad's head that bleak day, but something must have snapped. After that moment, he became a well of unending hatred and rage, nothing I did could stop it either. All my attempts to make him happy were met with yelling and hitting. But I couldn't tell anyone, that would only make things worse, so I hid the wounds beneath loose clothing and buried the memories deep within in my mind, never to see the light of day again.

While family was the source of my pain, school and friends did nothing to ease my unending torment. I was ignored by the other kids, they wondered if I was a boy or a girl because of my short hair and baggy clothing, I was to scared to tell them the truth, about the bruises and cuts hidden below the thick cloth of my turtle neck and jacket. There was the occasional bit of outreach, a parent or councilor who took notice of my constant melancholic state, they asked what had happened to me and if I was hiding anything. In return I said things were ok, I was just tiered or something similar, I couldn't tell them the truth, after all. If I did dad would get angry and the beatings would become even more fierce.

It tooks months before I finally found a refuge from the pain of the real world, an online game known as the World, I had heard kids talking about it second hand at school, about how immerse the game's world was, how some people became completely lost in it, forgetting the real world entirely. That was what sold me, anything that could keep away the pain of living for even a few hours was worth any expense. I purchased the necessary equipment not long after hearing about the game, hope was strong in my mind that somehow this experiment would work where all others have failed, it was the hope that I wouldn't have to resort to more extreme ways to chase away the pain. Soon, the bulky head bound display was assembled and connected and the program installed in mere minutes. Now, I'm no tech genius but even I was able to put the contraption together. I guess they wanted to get as many people hooked as possible.

The next step was to create an"Avatar", as the game called a players character. This took a bit longer then setting things up, there were so many choices to make! I started by thinking a name, however anything I could think of was already taken. So, taking a brief look at my own name, produced something of value, slowly I typed in the word "Tsukasa" it was taken from one of the kanji of my last name, Shoji. The rest was fairly simple, the wizard class known as a Wave Master, followed by a model that looked like one of those pretty boys from a girl's comic, the androgyny of my virutal counterpart was appealing. "No one will ask about my gender now..." I boasted to no one in particular. Soon little Tsukasa was thrust into the World fully formed from my head, just as the goddess Athena was from her father Zeus. I was quick to take to the games rules and regulations, within time I formed a bond with the virtual universe in which Tsukasa occupied. For the first time since my mom died, I had a form of stability in my life.

Of course, as I said before, someone didn't want me to be happy, not even in a virtual world. By simply opening a chest in a low-level dungen, my mind was sucked into the World and bonded to my avatar, while my body was left to slump to the floor, a hollow shell with no mind or soul. With my memories gone, I was left to wander the World aimlessly. I talked to no one and spent my time loathing everyone and everything around me. The damned goddess of the World, Morganna, too took me in, assuring me she would protect me and love me even though no one else did. Looking back, she was just like my father, she only wanted to abuse me for her own gain. That was my existence while trapped in the world, periods of lonely wandering punctuated by "Mother" telling me how much she loved me and how little everyone else did. The only redeeming part of the whole mess was the friends I made during that period. Bear was everything I wish my dad was; kind, caring, and sensitive. I will never be able to repay all the kindness he has done for me. Then their was Mimiru, she was like an older sister I never had, she was the only normal person in the group, living a life free of any regret or deep sadness. Her view of the world was a breath of fresh air in my stale existence. The rest of them, Sora, BT, and Crim , had all tried to use me and one point or another, but they couldn't be faulted for it, they were good people in the end. Together they formed a kind of makeshift family for me. When I was with them, I felt loved for the first time since mom passed on.

However, their was one person who I meet in the World that meant more then any other to me. Her name in that endless game was Subaru, the same as the star cluster, and true to her name she was heavenly in every way. From her elegant appearance to her to the gentle, refined, way she spoke, Subaru was a perfect lady in every respect of the word. Though our relationship got off to a rocky start, being her group of loud mouthed, would-be moderators ambushed me then locked in cave, things became better quickly. It seemed, at first, she was only interested me in regard to her role of keeping order in the World and mine as a illegal avatar. However, as we got to know each other, something began to bloom in the collective garden of our hearts. Soon, she was all I could think of, she had given a purpose in a purposeless world! She was my best friend, that was easy to say, but soon a incident changed that.

After Subaru disbanded the Crimson Knights, she became just as aimless as I was, wandering the world without purpose or goal. In her darkness, Subaru became entangled with a Player Killer who claimed Subaru copied her looks, being a lady Subaru refused to fight back. A decision that left her body battered and broken, while her mind reeled as to how people could be so cruel. Yet, she didn't log out, she trudged her way back through the World till she reached the cave where we had talked during my imprisonment at the hands of the Knights. Somehow, I knew she would be there. With only a few words, we embraced in tear soaked bliss. It was the only time I counted myself happy to be trapped in that forsaken game, as I was able to feel the strength of her embrace upon Tsukasa's lithe frame. It was a feeling I'll never forget and, as I heard later, Subaru felt the same way. Upon the scene playing out on her screen, Subaru's player hugged her monitor in mimic of her avatar's on screen action as tears rolled down her lily white face. It was a turning point from which there was no turning back, for better or worse myself and Subaru were two half's of a whole now, in simpler terms, we were in love.

After that we were inseparable, spending as much time together as possible. In the end we reached a conclusion, once I was able to return to the real world we should meet in person, and continue what was started in the World. I agreed, nothing in the world would make me happier. Newly resolved to see things through to their conclusion, everyone made a final push to defeat Morganna and free me from the curse that had been place upon me. Just before the final battle, a time I spent exclusively with Subaru, a revelation had to be made. I had regained my memories of the real world and with it the truth of my offline self, the gender of Tsukasa was not my own, a fact I was worried would scare Subaru away. With a tearful approach, I told my love the truth. After a second, with a cheerful expression, she gave reply, she didn't care she had fallen in love with my soul, the core of my being. Gender meant nothing to her, after all, the personality she saw me portray in the World was genuine, and that was what she truly loved about me. That sealed the last of the lose ends I had in one world and led to the final push towards another. We were unable to defeat the god-like beast Morganna summoned, but what we had done was enough, Aura woke up and the World was set to right at last.

With a total system reboot caused by the mysterious hacker, Helba, I finally found myself awake in the real world, the rays of a non-CG sun burning at my eyes. I made a few quick phone calls, one to Ryo, Bear's player, who would be picking me up in a few hours. And another to my beloved, her house keeper ended up answering, saying the lady of the house would be with me in a bit, she had to make herself presentable. Gathering my clothes that had been cleaned and pressed since I feel into a coma six months ago, dressed myself and made for the hospitals front doors, my heart beating at a fevered pace. I was so worried, would she like me? Would we still be together like we were in the world? My heat soon overrode my mind with a simple message, "things will be ok, Subaru said so herself." Those words calmed my emotions and made waiting bearable, after about half an hour, a woman appeared pushing along a blue haired woman in a wheel chair in front of her.

The woman in the wheelchair waved at me after a second of confused looks, concluding the girl in front of her had to be the one behind her beloved Tsukasa. I returned favor, waving like an idiot as my heart became inflamed by a passion I had never felt before. The woman took the first turn, breaking away from her care taker with all the strength her arms would allow, I followed suit running at a frenetic pace unnecessary for the short distant between us. As the distance between us closed, all fear in my mind abated, no one whose face showed such kindness could be anything but the love of my life. Finally, with a mighty stop, we both stood a mere feet from one another, smiling like fools in the summer sun. I was dumb founded for words but managed something simple, saying, with the utmost sincerity, "I'm home". Then with a smile she replied, with naught a hint of irony, "welcome home". In turn I buried myself in her arms, crying more then I had ever cried in my entire life, somehow this one moment made up for all the pain and suffering that had been inflicted on me.

She just looked down at the me and began stroking my hair, then, in Subaru's gentle gentle voice she spoke "My name is Mariko Misono, I assume you are Tsukasa?"I couldn't respond through the tears, offering a simple nod in return. I didn't want that moment to ever end, but as all good things, it had to. I recovered myself from her azure blouse and regained enough composure to answer her previous question "It's nice to meet you! I'm An Shoji!" Again smiling like a fool I just stared as her awhile before, she spoke to break the awkward silence. "Shoji-chan...No, An, perhaps we should go to my home to continue this, it's not far from here." I nodded, unable to add anything of worth to her perfect statement, and followed Mariko like a puppy. Two things floated through my head during that blissful trip, the first being I had never been this happy in my entire life, and second that I really needed to call Ryo and tell him I'd be really late.

End of Part 1