Hello everone Second fanfic ever and first shot at parody/humor, so I'd love any reviews. I'd always wondered about Prince Charming's polygamy, so…here we go! And for those of you who love Belle, please don't flame me because of this. For anything else, ok, but not this. Everyone's going to get the same treatment…
Chapter One: Belle
The buttered scent of lilacs was the first thing she noticed. Hundreds of them, lining the road with their delicate blossoms, nature's little kisses to the great morning sky. With a sigh, Belle knelt down amongst the conveniently-placed flowers, looking down at them with her great eyes and whispering positive princess thoughts to them. They were sooooo pretty.
She soon stood and, forgetting the flowers, proceeded to dance merrily to the town center, singing her grocery list as she went along. The birds joined in her little song, accenting all the right words and filling the otherwise dull provincial town with great cheerful joy. With a skip and a hop she thanked her little friends and proceeded into the market.
To keep up appearances she had decided to do her own shopping. Prince was still a little apprehensive about public appearances, despite the fact that he was the most gorgeous hunk she had ever seen, and so Belle went alone. She didn't mind. The time apart made the time they spent together all the more wonderful.
With these and other mildly sickening princess-thoughts entertaining her Belle commenced her shopping trip. She bought a few apples, a baguette, and some cheese from the various nameless townspeople, getting it all for free because she was a princess, and no one ever though of making a princess pay for something. After singing through her ridiculously short grocery list one more time in perfect pitch Belle decided she would visit the bookshop. She proceeded to take a long route to the store so that she could flaunt her perfect beauty and singing skills in front of the other women, and make them love and respect her. Of course, everyone did love and respect her, instead of becoming madly jealous like any decent person would.
The owner of the bookshop welcomed Belle with a great smile. "Good morning, Belle! I can guess what you're here for," which is a perfectly ridiculous statement considering that the bookshop sold only one thing.
"I'd like a new book, please," Belle replied, because, of course, the reason people go to bookstores is to buy baby carrots.
"I knew it! I have the perfect one for you," said the bookshop owner, giving her the beautiful new book, which happened to be Belle's favorite.
"My favorite!" Belle cried redundantly. She gave the shop owner a little kiss on the cheek and left the store, still managing to look ravishingly beautiful even though her face was covered by a book.
"I hope you enjoy it," the shopkeeper cried after her, still smiling.
Belle wandered around town, reading her book and getting admiring stares from everyone. She smiled and waved at just the right people, brightening their day, curing their depression, bad attitudes, cholera, etc.
Suddenly, she ran into something. Looking up, she gave a dramatic yet feminine gasp, surprised at the fellow who stood before her. Then she suddenly gave a refined squeal of joy as she hugged her wonderful Prince Charming around the neck, leaping into his arms and laughing and kissing him all over, and all the townspeople smiled happily to see them together.
But there was one face in the crowd that was not smiling.