Author's notes: Adult themes, language and violence (in later chapters); Italics denote the symbiote is speaking or a memory flashback
Spoiler: Death Knell
The story begins during a scene in Death Knell; a conversation between Jacob, Selmak and Delek
"The space between the tears we cry is the laughter keeps us coming back for more."
--Dave Matthews Band 'The Space Between'
Prelude…Tensions were already running high. And Selmak knew Jacob was already on edge about his daughter still missing. But with Delek being here, Selmak was having difficulty keeping Jacob's blood pressure down. As it was, Selmak's happen to be running high too. He attempted to keep himself and Jacob calm as they stepped into Delek's quarters.
"No doubt you've spoken to General Hammond," Delek said.
"He says he asked you if we had a spy in Olerkon's inner circle," Jacob started, remaining calm as Selmak had suggested.
"Yes, he did."
"He asked me the same question. Of course I told him no because only the High Council can make a decision like that. And since I'm on the High Council I would know about it. Wouldn't I?" Jacob questioned, Selmak felt his host's anger rise with each word. "Or is there something you want to tell me?"
"If you have a concern, you can take it up with the Council yourself!" Delek remarked then turned away from Jacob.
Selmak could feel that Jacob was seething. He wanted to rip Delek's head off. Jacob was a proud man and proud of his accomplishments with the Tok'ra. Selmak himself was proud of his host and everything they've been through together. Neither he nor Jacob liked being talked down to. Nor did they like it when someone insulted them, then turned their back to them. And it is only because of the six years being blended with Selmak that Jacob did not rip Delek's head off.
"Who do you think you're talking too?" Jacob rebuked, firmly grabbing hold of Delek's arm yanking him back around.
"An interesting question…it seems I am talking to a human host," Delek answered with a look of disgust as if humans were loathsome creatures unworthy of his company.
'Let me fore, Jacob!' Selmak demanded, knowing that it didn't matter whom Delek was speaking too.
After five hundred years, Delek has never hidden his dissatisfaction with Selmak. The two have always been at odds once Delek joined the High Council.
"Make no mistake, Delek. I am still Selmak. And I was a leader of the Tok'ra before you had even taken a host!"
"Maybe you've been a leader too long!" Delek countered. "The Tau'ri are unlike other humans in the galaxy. Their will has not been eroded by thousands of years of slavery. This can be a valuable asset. But it can also make them dangerous…particularly as hosts."
Ah. There it is. It's all clear to Selmak now. Delek is using Jacob as the excuse to remove Selmak from the High Council.
"Jacob Carter has had no more influence on me than any other host."
"There are those of us who would disagree!"
'Yeah, I bet there are and you're leading the charge!' Jacob commented, though only Selmak could hear it.
"You have allowed yourself to get to close to these people, Selmak. Your true loyalties are in question."
'What the…Selmak let me rip his fucking head off! Your loyalties!'
'Jacob, calm yourself. You are not helping me!' Selmak chastised his host quickly.
Jacob was quiet but Selmak could still sense his host's feelings of rage.
"You speak for the entire Council?" Selmak asked wondering just how much damage Delek has actually done while he and Jacob have been working on the prototype weapon against Anubis' drones.
"You still have your defenders. Although their numbers are diminishing."
'And how much of that is your doing, Delek?' Selmak asked himself.
"So you did meet without me. And you did send an operative."
"And if you had known, would you have told General Hammond?"
"They have a right to know!"
"We knew you would feel that way, which is precisely why you were not informed," Delek said then walked away from Selmak.
Selmak left the room calmly. Anger never solved anything.
'But it might make us feel better if we beat the ever living shit out of his arrogant ass!' Jacob told Selmak.
'The problem would still be there, my friend. Besides, we have a more important issue that needs tending.'
'Right, I need to tell George what's going on before we head to the planet to assist in the search for Sam.'
Again, Selmak could strongly sense his host's feelings. The love Jacob has for his daughter is deep. Only the man's military training prevented him from expressing it. The true sign of a good leader was to never let them see you're afraid, a quality Jacob did very well. The problem was that Jacob has grown accustomed to masking his emotions. And the one quickest to reveal itself is his anger, which he has been able to use to his advantage during his long military career.
However, Jacob could not allow his anger to lash out at his good friend General Hammond. It was Jacob's sense of duty to the greater good that held that anger in check. Although, Selmak could sense that Jacob was deeply disappointed in not joining the search for his daughter. And Selmak knew that if there was no one searching from Samantha Carter, Jacob would have told George to fuck off and that he was on his own with the Tok'ra and Jaffa issues.
That was Selmak's influence on Jacob. Family was important to Jacob but he could have always done more to show that to his children. And yes, what Selmak said was true, Jacob hasn't influenced him at all. In fact it is the other way around. And because of Selmak's influence, Jacob has his son and his daughter back in his life. For that, Jacob has always expressed his gratitude to Selmak through the bond.
Through their bond, Selmak shared in Jacob's elation when they discovered that Samantha was found and that she was safe. And they shared the same anger at Delek who looked smugly at them after the meeting was over and the others had left the briefing room.
"I take it you will be staying with the Tau'ri?" Delek asked.
"You would just love that, wouldn't you?" Jacob growled. "Can't wait to get Selmak and me out of the way!"
"I…""Don't hand me your bullshit!" Jacob shouted, stepping toe to toe with Delek. "For your information, Selmak and I will be returning to the Tok'ra. You will not be rid of us so easily. And I will make it my personal mission to be a pain in your ass!"
Jacob quickly turned and left before Delek had a chance to say anything. Selmak remained quiet as they stomped through the tunnels of the SGC. And he stayed quiet as Jacob sat watching his daughter sleeping. All of Jacob's anger dissipated as they watched her until it was finally completely gone when she had awakened.
Selmak listened to father and daughter. The emotions of what Jacob said felt only by Selmak as Jacob wouldn't allow Samantha to see how troubled her father was. It was one of the hardest things Jacob had ever done, leaving his daughter when so much uncertainty lay ahead of him and Selmak. Only there lay an even harder task in front of them.
In their quarters, Jacob sat in silence. The relief that Samantha was safe was only temporary for Jacob because of the issue with the High Council not trusting them any more. No doubt, Delek relished the opportunity to rub Jacob's nose in it, as Selmak was certain the Tok'ra had eagerly volunteered to deliver the bad news. Their hearts weighed heavily. Plus, what they were about to do was tearing Jacob's heart apart and Selmak's as well.
'Jacob, we do not have to leave Earth,' Selmak said, breaking the silence.
'If we don't fix this, who will?' Jacob countered.
Selmak had no answer. They both knew the end of the Tok'ra was nearer than many liked to admit. And they both believed the alliance with Earth was the Tok'ra's best chance of survival. Thus, who best to rectify the situation than Earth's liaison and the oldest, wisest Tok'ra symbiote.
'But at what personal cost?' Selmak countered.
Jacob sighed. Before he could respond a delicate knock sounded on their door. It was an indication that the time had finally come. Selmak remained quiet as Jacob slowly moved across the room and allowed his visitor to enter. Once the door was closed, Janet wrapped her arms them. He and Jacob prolonging the moment with her because of the love they had for this woman.
"I'm sorry I couldn't see you both much sooner," she spoke softly.
"You were busy. And besides, Selmak took care of my injuries," Jacob smiled, tenderly caressing her cheek with his fingertips.
"You know what I mean."
"I'm fine now that Sam's ok," he sighed, pulling her into closer.
"I was so worried when I first heard reports that the Alpha site had been attacked. I…I feared the worse."
"That's so unlike you," Jacob said with a small smile on his face.
Selmak had to agree. Janet Fraiser had such a positive outlook on life no matter how dire the situation. It was one of the things about her that attracted Jacob to her in the first place. Only they had never approached her because of the rules and regulations of the Air Force. And if not for a chance meeting off base, they never would have gotten together.
Once off base, Jacob was always able to let his guard down and be himself. More so thanks to Selmak's influence, Jacob actually learned that it was ok to express his positive emotions more and just relax and enjoy life. Off base, there were no rules because no one was watching them. Thus the rules went out the window.
As a result, Selmak could not prevent the inevitable as Jacob fell instantly in love with Janet. For Selmak also fell head over heels in love with this woman. The void in his heart where the love for his mate had been was once again full and vibrant.
"I've never been so deeply in love before," she whispered.
Jacob closed his eyes, holding her even tighter, kissing the top of her head.
'Jacob, we do not have to go,' Selmak said again to his host.
'You know we must…no matter what the personal sacrifice,' Jacob countered.
"What's wrong?" Janet asked, always perceptive about Jacob or Selmak's feelings.
Jacob stepped away from her and Selmak could see the concern in Janet's lovely face. He took in every fine detail knowing these may be his final moments with her. He already knew every feature of this woman but it was her eyes he was always drawn to. They were always so expressive; never hesitating to show what Janet was feeling in any given moment.
"Selmak and I are leaving," Jacob said sadly.
"I know that," Janet smiled.
"No…we're leaving and we don't know when we're coming back."
"Oh."
Selmak mentally sighed at seeing such sadness in Janet's eyes. He had never seen it before and wasn't quite prepared for it. His normally arrogant, confident self faltered momentarily as he wondered if he and Jacob were really doing the right thing. But Jacob's next words rang true. There was no going back now.
"The Council doesn't trust as anymore. And the Tok'ra don't see eye to eye with the Tau'ri anymore."
"I didn't realize things were that bad," Janet said.
"If Selmak and I don't go back now, the damage done will be irreversible. The Tok'ra will cease to exist."
Janet leaned against him. And Selmak could feel her hand caressing the back of Jacob's neck. For a non-blended human, Janet was very wise in the ways of how Tok'ra express their affection to each other and their symbiotes.
"I understand," she cooed.
But here came the hard part for Jacob who refused to allow Selmak to handle it. It was Jacob who was first attracted to Janet, so he felt it was his duty to do this.
"Janet, I can't ask you to wait for me," Jacob said earnestly, looking into those soft brown eyes that Selmak loved to lose himself in. "It wouldn't be fair to you."
"Jacob Carter, I am not some insecure woman who can't be without my boyfriend for a mere five seconds!" she snapped, making Jacob step back. "I am an intelligent woman in the Air Force. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I became intimately involved with you and Selmak. I love you both. Faults and all! And it is my decision whether to wait or not! So, you and Selmak do whatever you have to do. Just come home when you can and I'll be here for both of you."
She paused, cupping Jacob's face with her hands.
"I love you both. I understand what you have to do. Besides, this way you have something to look forward to," she smiled.
There were no words to express how Jacob or Selmak were feeling in that moment. They loved this woman. Deeply loved her. And were so grateful that she was a part of their life. Together he and Jacob revealed all of this to Janet as they made love to her. Every stroke and caress was deeply affectionate and pleasurable. Each kiss was prolonged and passionate. Their possibly final precious minutes together were made to seem like hours.
"I love you," Jacob whispered, holding her tightly in their lover's embrace. His hand, under Selmak's control, was affectionately caressing the small of her back. "Selmak loves you too."
"I love you both too," her voice wavered.
"Shh…no tears," Jacob cooed, pushing the hair off her forehead.
"Sorry," she swallowed, closing her eyes.
"You do not have anything to apologize for, my love," Selmak murmured quietly, continuing to stroke her hair. "I think it important for you to know…"
"I do know. You and Jacob are together in your decision. As you both are with everything else," Janet smiled.
"You know us too well," he chuckled to her.
"Yes, I do," she purred with that all to familiar devilish smile of hers.
Selmak instantly felt her questing fingers massaging him in all the right points. Pressure points designed for giving pleasuring directly to the symbiote which is then are felt by its host. Janet knew him so well. Again, Selmak was amazed at how this woman was able to give love to both host and symbiote.
Normally, it's Jacob who is mostly in control when they made love to Janet. However, Selmak felt his host's approval for Selmak to remain in full control this time. Both were acutely aware that this could be their last time with Janet. Though Selmak was in control, Jacob was never shut out completely and was able to feel everything Selmak felt.
"I do love Janet," he breathed against her neck as he lay in her arms, feeling her breathing slowly return back to normal. "I want to thank you…for so long I did not believe I could fall in love again. You've given me so much this past year. And I've treasured each and every moment we we're together."
"As have I," she said hugging him tighter.
When the time came, Selmak found it difficult to let go of her. He had to force himself to move away from her to put his uniform back on. A part of his heart did not want to leave her. It had been two long centuries since he had lost his mate. It didn't dawn on Selmak or Jacob that they would find love again. But they both accepted it and embraced it with open arms. Fully allowing this woman into their hearts.
"We must say our goodbye now, Janet," Selmak said, helping to pull her lab coat on.
"When do you leave?"
"Jacob and I have business to attend with General Hammond and Jacob needs to speak with Colonel O'Neill before we depart."
Janet said nothing. Selmak pulled her into a gentle embrace and kissed her affectionately. The kiss deepened as he relinquished control back to Jacob. After several long moments, they finally pulled away from her.
"Goodbye," Jacob said softly as his fingers trailed along her face and down her neck.
"Bye," she whispered, holding back her tears.
Jacob left quickly before he and Selmak changed their minds. They made their meetings with General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill quick and too the point before meeting Delek in the Gate Room where the Stargate had been activated.
"Everything in order?" Delek asked conceitedly.
"Jacob and my affairs are none of your concern!" Selmak said shortly then marched up the ramp.
Selmak didn't stop either once they arrived. He marched straight to where the rings were located in the sand and was instantly transported to the tunnels below.
"Selmak, good…"
"Not now Malek! Where's Garshaw?"
"The council chambers," Malek answered, hurrying to keep up with Selmak.
"Is everything ok? I heard about Jacob's daughter…"
"Samantha Carter is fine!" Selmak growled, then came to a stop. He sighed, turning to Malek. "Forgive me, my friend. Things are…how would Jacob say it?"
"The shit hit the fan?" Malek replied with a smirk making Selmak laugh.
"One of his favorites," Selmak said, moving on again. "You and him have been drinking too much ale late at night. However, tonight, I may be joining you."
"We may not have time. Garshaw ordered us to evacuate to our new base as soon as all our personnel have returned from the Beta site."
"Not wasting any time, are they?" Selmak remarked.
"What is it? What has happened?"
Selmak came to a stop just outside the council chambers.
"I will explain later my friend. Suffice to say, our worst fears may be coming to pass sooner than expected," Selmak sadly said.
Malek nodded, completely understanding what Selmak was talking about.
"I shall see you and Jacob later then," Malek said then quickly left.
Despite Jacob being angry again, Selmak remained composed as they entered the council chambers. Garshaw noticed them immediately and waved them over to take a seat near her and Council Member Ger'yon. The other council members were not present, presumably they had already evacuated to the new base site.
"You could have warned me Garshaw!" Selmak barked before even taking his seat. "Instead I was blindsided by that fucking asshole, Delek who just loved rubbing my nose in the fact that I'm on your shitlist!"
"Selmak keep your voice down! And speak in normal terms that I can understand!" Garshaw countered. "Your use of Jacob's colorful metaphors does not help your cause! And I do apologize…I had no idea until it was too late. Had I known, I would have told you myself."
"Selmak, you are still a respected leader amongst our people," Ger'yon added.
"Is that how you treat a respected leader?" Selmak snapped making Ger'yon lower his head.
'Selmak, getting mad at our friends accomplishes nothing,' Jacob calmly told him.
Selmak mentally sighed, 'You're right.'
"Please, forgive me," Selmak said.
"We are all on edge, Selmak," Garshaw smiled. "Some of us are aware that Delek is up to something. Unfortunately, until we discover what that is there is nothing any of us can do."
"We can't limit his time with the council?" Selmak asked.
"No, he has too many supporters," Ger'yon answered.
"Patience, Selmak."
"Garshaw, I have infinite patience. Jacob however…his patience has run out with regards to Delek. And I am more inclined to agree with him on that subject," Selmak said, getting to his feet. "However, Jacob and I returned to do a job. The treaty with the Tau'ri is our only chance of survival. It must not be broken."
Selmak raised his hand when Garshaw started to say something.
"Do not worry, Garshaw. I am already aware that we have our work cut out for ourselves," Selmak smiled then calmly walked away.
One month later…
The morning was like any other late fall morning in Colorado Springs. It was cold. As usual, George's arthritic knees were a sure indication that summer and fall had long since gone and that winter was just around the corner.
Only for George, this morning did not start off like most others. For one thing, he had a sick feeling in the pit of his gut. A foreboding of some kind that something terrible was going to happen today. And over his long military career, George had learned to follow his gut instincts. He even got up an hour earlier than the norm and headed to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex without drinking his morning cup of coffee. He even ignored the fact that today was Saturday, his day off.
And as usual, his instincts were right. He arrived at the SGC to the sounds of the alarms blaring to their fullest. From the Control Room he could see the controlled chaos. Tok'ra after Tok'ra emerging from the event horizon of an active wormhole. Some of which were severely injured and crawling or being assisted down the ramp. And Dr. Fraiser, who was also here earlier than usual or had never left because of the injuries SG-6 sustained from their mission yesterday, was barking out orders to her staff and to the marines who were helping the injured. Even Teal'c was obeying her every command.
"They were under attack, Sir," the overnight gate technician informed George. "There was nowhere else for them to go."
"Who attacked them?"
"I do not know that, Sir! We received their emergency Iris Deactivation Code. Colonel Anderson authorized me to open the Iris, Sir."
"Where is Colonel Anderson?" George asked looking at the faces of the personnel in the Gate Room.
"Dr. Fraiser had ordered him to begin moving some of the injured to the infirmary, Sir. In fact, I've been calling her medical staff and Dr. Warner to come in because she only had two overnight nurses with her."
"Good job. Call Colonel O'Neill in and apprise him of the situation. If he questions, he can ask me when he gets here."
"Yes, Sir," the technician replied and immediately grabbed the phone.
George headed down the stairs into the hallway just outside the Gate Room. He quickly pressed himself against the wall as Dr. Fraiser and a marine had wheeled a gurney out of the Gate Room with an unconscious Tok'ra.
"Dr. Fraiser…"
"Not now, General…I've got three critical in the infirmary and I'm rushing this one to emergency surgery!" Dr. Fraiser said, cutting him off.
George took no offense and stayed out of her way. He would get a medical report later.
"NO!" came a scream from the Gate Room causing George to hurry in.
Two Tok'ra guards arrived with the Tok'ra named Malek. For some reason he was struggling desperately to pull away from them, as if he were trying to go back through the gate that had just deactivated. The guards literally had to drag Malek down to the base of the ramp where finally his energy was spent and he collapsed.
George quickly checked on Malek.
"Get a medic," George ordered one of the marines.
Malek was unresponsive to George. The Tok'ra was going in and out of conscious, presumably from the head wound he had sustained during whatever events had happened to the Tok'ra. Regardless, George needed answers. He needed to know why the Gate Room was turned into a triage and if there were any immediate threats to Earth.
"Can anyone tell me what happened?" George asked one of the guards.
"I do not know much. An announcement was made to evacuate the base. Minutes later it fell under attack."
"Attack…by who?"
"The base was being bombarded by Ha'tak vessels…"
"I saw the Jaffa," a wounded Tok'ra said, as a nurse was tending to his injuries. "I did not recognize which System Lord they served."
"Perhaps Malek knows. It was he who dialed the Chapa'ai to Earth."
"Who ordered the evacuation?" George asked.
The wounded Tok'ra shook his head indicating that he did not know.
"Jacob ordered the evacuation," Malek said weakly.
George quickly knelt down beside. He was taken back by the anguish in the man's face and the tears in his eyes.
"I am so sorry, General Hammond…"
"What happened? Where is Jacob?"
"He and Selmak are…gone…they're dead."
That feeling in George's gut just twisted into a knot.
Malek's host, Jared, was still unconscious from the blow to his head they sustained during the cave in. The pain did nothing to distract Malek from the heartache he felt after losing such a close friend and so many fallen comrades. Selmak had tutored Malek in the ways of the Tok'ra since he had taken his very first host. Their friendship had lasted nine hundred years. Then when Selmak had taken Jacob as his new host, Malek formed close bonds with the man as well. Without anyone knowing it, Jacob was the perfect host for Selmak. Both were stubborn, set in their ways, honorable, and bound by a sense of duty.
"We can wait until you're ready," General Hammond said kindly.
"I will be fine," Malek sighed, settling his head into the pillow on the bed he had been placed on.
From what Jacob told him, this was only one part of the infirmary. Each bed was occupied by an injured Tok'ra. Malek closed his eyes, thankful that he and Jacob were able to save some of their people. They were his people now.
Malek was now the oldest, not even one thousand years of age. Already a strong leader among his people, it was a role he would gladly step into despite the fact that there weren't many of them left now. And yet, those few that remained would need him now more than ever.
"General Hammond," Malek started after opening his eyes. "I wish to officially request asylum for my people. The Tok'ra refugees you currently house are most likely the last of the Tok'ra. And I think you and your people should know, that there would be none of us left if not for Jacob and Selmak."
"Before I inform my superiors of your request, I would like to know what happened. They would need to know what happened to our liaison," Hammond said, then added sadly. "And I would like to know what happened to my friend."
"I understand," Malek nodded and took in a deep breath. "The High Council was in session during mealtime. I was in our communications room awaiting contact from a nearby Tok'ra base when a distress signal was received from the Helgath system. One of our operatives there reported that the Tok'ra base had just been destroyed and that all our undercover operatives in that system had been killed. Before I could even leave to report this information to the Council another distress signal was received from a different system, reporting the same thing happening in that area…"
…Malek ran from the communications room, heading for the council chamber. Upon reaching the tunnel to the chamber, Jacob came rushing out of the room. Pure rage filled Jacob's eyes which told Malek that Jacob was in charge of his own body. Selmak was always calm and very rarely raised his voice even when he was angry. However, there was also a sense of desperation in the way that Jacob moved that surprised Malek.
"Send a communication to our operatives to abandon their posts!" Jacob ordered.
"Jacob, what is going on? On whose authority?" Malek asked.
"Mine!"
"Only the Council…"
"The High Council members are all dead! Except for Selmak and I! Now do as I say! We're evacuating to Earth!"
Malek stood motionless for a brief moment as his heart sank. Their worst fears have finally come too pass.
"Malek!" Jacob shouted.
"We received multiple transmissions…our undercover operatives and other bases…reports are coming in…they're being attacked."
"Send the emergency transmission! We have to get out of here now!" Jacob ordered as they hurried along. "I was late to the meeting. When I arrived all the members were dead. Selmak and I saw no physical evidence to suggest how they were killed. We can only assume that they were poisoned. Something in the food or drink perhaps. A fast acting one because I wasn't that late to the meeting."
"What are we going to do?"
"First we head to Earth, save as many Tok'ra as we can."
Within minutes after the transmission was sent the tunnels began shaking. Weapons firing from above hit their target well as several of the tunnels caved in, trapping or killing many Tok'ra. Malek along with Jacob led a large group that they had gathered, hurrying down a tunnel. The sound of staff weapons discharging could be heard ahead. Suddenly a dozen Tok'ra came running around the turn towards Malek and the others.
A firefight erupted between Tok'ra and Jaffa. Only Malek couldn't get a good look at whose Jaffa they were fighting. Jacob ordered everyone to retreat and follow him, continuing to fire their weapons in the process. A young Tok'ra went down but he wasn't mortally wounded. Malek had to admire Jacob and his people. Their will to never leave a man behind was commendable. A trait Jacob brought to Selmak and other Tok'ra.
Without hesitation, Malek helped Jacob with the injured Tok'ra so that they may move faster. When they reached a junction, Jacob ordered one of the other Tok'ra to collapse the tunnel behind them.
"Jacob…is it as I fear?" Malek asked.
"Let's just save as many of our people as we can," Jacob answered pulling a crystal out from his pouch. He jabbed it into the crystal wall and a long tunnel formed. "I will say this…he played his cards well. Fooled the entire council and even convinced many of them to turn against Selmak."
"Who?"
"Delek…he's a Goa'uld or at least, he's acting just like one!"
Malek cursed in his native tongue making Jacob raise an eyebrow before they ran down the long tunnel. Malek never liked Delek from the moment he met him. He was too pompous and arrogant, even for a Tok'ra. He often had this holier than thou position on everything too.
"Let's just get the hell out of here my friend," Jacob smiled as they emerged into a large room where the Chapa'ai was. Several dozen Tok'ra were there waiting. Many seriously injured, many unsure what was going on. All looking to Jacob and Selmak for leadership. "Malek, dial the gate. You, collapse that tunnel!"
Malek quickly dialed the Earth gate. Barely a moment after the Chapa'ai was activated and Jacob sent the signal to Earth, weapons fire came from the other tunnel originally built to connect with this room.
"GO!" Jacob shouted, grabbing a staff weapon off the ground. "Get them through the gate!"
Malek quickly ushered his people through the Chapa'ai while Jacob and several others provided cover fire. When only Malek and two other remained, he turned to call for Jacob. His friend was wrestling with a Jaffa and past them Malek could see many more Jaffa coming.
"MALEK GO!" Jacob shouted as he was pinned down.
Malek's eyes locked onto Jacob's for a moment. He knew exactly was his friend was about to do.
"Jacob…NO!" Malek screamed, ignoring the staff weapons fire that blasted down the tunnel towards him.
"GET MALEK OUT OF HERE!" Jacob ordered the two guards.
Then Jacob fired the staff weapon several times causing a cave in. The guards grabbed hold, keeping Malek from getting caught in the cave in but a small crystal rock struck his head. Despite the danger and his blurred vision, he struggled to save his friends.
…Malek inhaled deeply. The pain in his head a dull nagging throbbing sensation that refused to go away.
"He was buried beneathso muchrock and dirt...that I...," Malek said sadly. "There was nothing I could do. I regret that I…that I was unable to bring his body back to his family."
"You did more than you know," Hammond said with great earnest laying a reassuring hand on Malek's shoulder.
He felt like he hadn't done enough, like he could have done so much more.
'That is because we have lost such a dear friend,' Jared told Malek.
Malek mentally nodded.
'Rest my friend,' Jared said, gently pushing forward and taking control of his body but not shutting Malek out.
"General Hammond, I am Jared, Malek's host. I would like to make a request on behalf of my fellow Tok'ra."
"What can I do for you?"
"Malek and I are fully aware of your customs regarding the funeral ceremony. We are also aware that the Tok'ra will not be able to attend Jacob's funeral which I assume will be held on the surface for his family."
"That is correct."
"I propose that we be allowed to have our own, here at your Stargate. One for all Tok'ra to attend and pay their respects to Selmak, Jacob and all our fallen comrades. Any of your people who wish to attend are most welcome."
General Hammond smiled approvingly.
"I'll help you to make the arrangements when you and Malek are ready."
"Thank you, General Hammond."
'Thank you Jared,' Malek sighed to his host.
The mood was somber when Jack arrived at the sublevels of the SGC. He was well aware that many Tok'ra evacuated to Earth but knew nothing more than that. From the mood and the looks in the Tok'ra faces, something more had happened. It was even more evident when he saw the look on General Hammond's face as he emerged from the infirmary. The man's normally erect posture wasvslightly bent as if his shoulders were carrying a heavy burden. The General immediately returned to that of a strong leader again when he spotted Jack. However, the General's eyes betrayed his true feelings.
"What's going on, Sir?" Jack asked quietly.
"Where's Major Carter?" Hammond asked instead of answer Jack's question.
"Her car wasn't in the lot but I suspect she'll be here soon. She and Daniel like to come in on Saturday morning to do their geek work. Why?"
General Hammond sighed heavily, looking at nothing. He had that look in his eyes. Jack recognized it having seen in the Doctor's face when he told him and Sara that their son was dead. Only Hammond's remorse appeared much, much deeper. Which meant the person involved was close to him.
"May I ask, who it is, Sir?" Jack gently asked, causing his CO to look at him.
"Jacob and Selmak were killed. They died saving the lives of these Tok'ra who were able to evacuate to Earth."
"Are you sure?" Jack questioned somewhat in a state of disbelief. Jacob…Dad…he can't be gone. The man's supposed to out live them all with that snake in his head. "We know they're not always so reliable with their intel."
"Malek saw himself. He tried to go back for Jacob but…"
Jack sighed with a heavy heart. Jacob was a good friend. And Jack knew that Carter was not going to take the news so well.
"Sir, I'll tell Carter…"
"No," Hammond said firmly. "Jacob instructed that I be the one to tell his children. I was there for his wedding, the kid's baptisms, his wife's funeral. It's my responsibility as his friend to do this."
"I understand, Sir."
"I'll be flying to San Diego later this morning to tell Jacob's son. So you'll be in charge of the SGC."
"Sure you want to do that, Sir…leave me in charge?" Jack joked receiving a small smile from the General.
"I won't be gone that long. I suspect that Major Carter will want to accompany me…"
"So, if the world is coming to an end, I'll have some of the other geeks handling it, Sir."
Hammond gave him a look.
"Sorry, Sir. It's defense mechanism," Jack said shrugging his shoulders. "I just can't believe Dad's gone. I honestly believed that he was going to outlive us all."
"You're not the only one," Hammond sighed.
"Can I tell the rest of my team, Sir?"
"Teal'c already knows but you can go ahead and tell Dr. Jackson."
"Thank you, Sir. Anyone else you want me to tell?"
"Just make sure Major Carter gets to my office before she hears any rumors."
"Of course, Sir."
General Hammond left without saying another word. He didn't have to. Jack could sympathize with the man having lost close friends as well. And Jacob…Jacob was practically family. The man never complained once about Jack calling him 'Dad'. Perhaps that's why the man's death affected Jack deeply.
Still, Jack had a duty. He pulled his cell phone out of his pant pocket and called Major Carter. She was on route as he had suspected and asked him what was going on and what he was doing at the SGC on a Saturday morning. Jack simply said that a Tok'ra base had to evacuate to Earth and that there were some casualties. She didn't ask if Dad was with the group because she knew Jack would have made some kind of Dad comment or joke.
He met up with her when she emerged from the elevator.
"Sir…?"
"General Hammond needs us in his office ASAP," he quickly said, wasting no time.
"Can I change into my uniform, Sir?"
"No time, Major," he insisted, moving along and giving her no choice but to follow him.
Along the way, Jack wanted so much to tell Carter about her father. It was only out of respect for General Hammond that prevented him. As it was, the look in her face told him that she knew something was up.
"Sit down, Major," General Hammond and Jack discretely left, closing the door as he did so.
Glancing at his watch, he figured that Daniel was here by now so he headed for the archeologist's office. Jack forced himself to move forward as the grief within him threatened to overwhelm him. His heart was back in the General's office with Carter knowing that her world was ending at this precise moment.
When Daniel arrived at the SGC he headed straight to his office and quickly brewed a pot of coffee. He was completely unaware of the goings on two floors below while he gathered a few books of his bookshelves and sat at his desk. His mind was already so focused on translating the Ancient writings on a fractured stone tablet SG-3 discovered two days ago that he didn't realize that he wasn't alone. It wasn't until he glanced up over the rim of his coffee mug that he noticed Jack was standing in the doorway.
"Jack! What are you doing here?" Daniel asked, surprised. "It's Saturday…and it's early, even for you!"
"Hammond called me in," Jack replied and Daniel immediately knew something was wrong.
"What happened? Is everything ok?" he asked, quickly putting his coffee cup down.
Jack sighed, moving slowly across Daniel's office, coming to a stop near the desk. Jack's normally cheerful, smart-alecky face was filled with such deep sorrow.
"Jack, what's wrong?" Daniel asked again.
"Jacob's dead," Jack answered softly.
Daniel slumped into his seat. His mind was momentarily having trouble comprehending what he just heard.
"Their base was under attack," Jack slowly explained. "He and Selmak died so other Tok'ra could evacuate to Earth."
"Does Sam know, is she ok?"
"Hammond's telling her right now."
"The Tok'ra Jacob and Selmak saved are the last," Teal'c said.
Daniel and Jack turned to see Teal'c entering the room.
"What happened?" Daniel asked.
"It seems many Tok'ra bases were attacked simultaneously," Teal'c explained. "As well as many undercover operatives. Few were able to get word out before their transmissions were lost. It is not known how many may have survived but Malek believes the last of the Tok'ra may be here on Earth."
"Does he know who was responsible for the attack?" Jack asked.
"No one knows who is responsible but Jacob and Selmak believed Delek was a part of it. Malek agrees."
"Never did like Delek," Daniel commented.
Jack looked at Daniel and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"My first impression of him was that he was too pompous and arrogant, even for a Tok'ra," Daniel explained. "He had this way of looking down his nose at you when he talked. And he particularly didn't care for Jacob one bit as I saw them arguing in the briefing room after our final meeting together."
"Sounds like someone I wouldn't like," Jack commented.
"You wouldn't. I even noticed General Hammond didn't care for the guy either," Daniel added.
"Definitely wouldn't have like him then!"
There was a long moment of silence, each man taking in his own grief. Daniel really wanted to see Sam to let her know she didn't have to go through this alone.
"Malek is leading a Tok'ra funeral ceremony for Jacob, Selmak and all other fallen comrades tomorrow," Teal'c spoke softly, breaking the silence. "He has said it would be an honor if we could attend."
"Of course," Daniel said. "I'll go by and see if Malek needs anything."
"I'll let Carter know," Jack said. "I'm sure she'll want to attend as well."
Daniel didn't mention to Jack that General Hammond would probably tell her about the funeral tomorrow. From what Daniel could tell, Jack was taking Jacob's death hard. Even Teal'c's normally blank face was mournful.
After that the morning progressed slowly. The only thing he accomplished were the funeral arrangements he had made with Malek. And Daniel's attempt to stay busy was unsuccessful. That in combination with his grief did nothing to distract him from his growing headache.
Rummaging through his desk he only found an empty bottle of aspirin. There was a full bottle in his car but he didn't feel like traveling up to the surface for a couple of pills. Instead, he decided to go by the infirmary on his way to the commissary.
His path happened to take him by Janet's office. Her door was slightly ajar with the lights off. Thinking she left it open in a rush, Daniel reached to close it. But as he grabbed the doorknob he thought he heard a woman sobbing.
Immediately concerned that it was Janet, probably one of his best friends in all the universe, Daniel opened the door and called for her. Janet cried even harder. He turned the light on and saw her sitting on the floor behind her desk. After quickly closing the door, Daniel went to her.
"Janet, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting beside her and offering her the box of Kleenex he grabbed off her desk. She only wretched and sobbed some more. "Janet, I'm your friend. Please tell me."
"I can't believe they're gone!" she managed to choke out.
"Who?" he asked feeling a little confused not expecting her to react this way to only Jacob's death. On the other hand… "Do you mean Jacob?"
Janet rocked back and forth, hugging her legs. The pain in her eyes told him all he needed to know. It was a pain he was familiar with too. Yet, he was surprised. He and Janet normally shared everything with each other. He couldn't believe she never told him about Jacob. But none of that mattered now as his friend was in mourning.
"I'm sorry, Janet," he whispered, pulling her into his chest. "I know exactly what it's like to lose someone you deeply love."
"I…I just wasn't expecting to hear…only two days ago…I found out that I'm pregnant. I was so…so happy and excited. I couldn't wait to tell Jacob and Selmak."
Daniel closed his eyes, holding her closer. Then he pulled back and smiled, gently wiping her tears.
"Then he's not entirely gone. A part of him is with you."
Janet smiled and wept more tears.
"Did…did Sam know about you and her father?"
"No."
"I think you should tell her and tell her about the baby too," he suggested.
"I can't. Not yet. Perhaps, after the public funeral."
"That would be nice. I'm sure she'll love the idea that you are carrying her little brother or sister," he smiled. "We know Jack is going to tease you to death about it…"
Janet laughed. A genuine laugh. He knew Janet still had some rough days ahead of her. But he also knew that the child she carried would bring her comfort and great joy. Sha're's son did to him even though the boy wasn't his son. The boy was a part of Sha're and that was all Daniel ever saw.
She was so excited. It was going to be her very first airplane ride. But what made it more exciting was that only Daddy was going to be with her. It was the first time Daddy took just her anywhere! Her brother Mark was too sick with pneumonia to make this trip to see Grandma. Mommy and Daddy decided that Sammy could still go since she hadn't met her Grandma yet. And because Mommy could take care of Mark better than Daddy she made Daddy take Sammy.
"Allison, your mother doesn't like me, you should take Sam." Daddy protested.
"Jake, for heavens sake, you're not afraid to fly a jet at mock one but you can't take your little girl to see her grandmother!"
"Daddy, I thought you weren't afraid of anything!" Sammy added innocently.
"I'm not afraid of her!" Daddy grumbled and walked away.
"Did I upset Daddy?" Sammy asked her mommy who was packing Sammy's suitcase.
"Your father will be fine. He's just nervous about taking you by himself to see my mother."
"Why is he nervous? I'm always a good girl."
"He's nervous about being alone with my mother for a week!" Mommy scoffed.
"But why does your mommy not like Daddy?"
"Because she is stubborn just like your Daddy and they don't see eye to eye."
"Why?"
"Samantha, why don't you go see if Daddy needs help packing so I can finish your suitcase," Mommy suggested.
"Ok!" Sammy cheered and ran as fast as her little legs could carry her to Mommy and Daddy's room.
"Whoa! Slow down there little lady!" Daddy smiled, scooping Sammy up into his arms. "Wouldn't want you running so fast that you overshoot the runway! Then you'd get hurt! Daddy wouldn't like it if you got hurt."
"Because Mommy would get mad at you?"
"Partly. But I don't like seeing either of my babies hurt or sick."
"Because it would make you sad?"
"Exactly," he said, kissing her cheek. "You're such a clever little girl. How old are you again?"
"Four!" Sammy shouted holding up four fingers.
"Four! You can't be four!" Daddy teased. "You must be six or seven!"
"I'm only four Daddy!" Sammy said as he tickled her making her giggle wildly.
" Major Carter, enough with the goofing around! That's an order. Your flight leaves in an hour," Mommy said.
"I'm done packing and we'll get there with time to spare," Daddy countered, tickling Sam some more.
Then Mommy tickled Daddy. Sammy thought it was funny that a tough guy like her Daddy was ticklish. But Sammy realized that it was a game Mommy and Daddy played. Because he loved Mommy so much he just pretended to be ticklish. Sammy could see it in his eyes every time he looked at Mommy. Even now, as they were hugging each other Sammy could see how much they loved each other.
"I'm going to say good bye to Mark," she announced, knowing her parents were about to kiss.
They did that a lot and usually liked to be alone when they did. But Sammy was surprised when Daddy hugged Mommy tightly and kissed her at the Airport. He usually only did that stuff at home and never in public. That's when Sammy realized that Daddy was going to miss Mommy. Sammy was going to miss her too. They were going to be gone a whole week without her!
But as they took their seats on the plane, Sam started fidgeting about with excitement. She tried looking out the window as the plane started to move. Only she was too short to see. So she tried to stretching her neck to see.
"Sammy, you have to pay attention to what the flight attendants are saying," Daddy told her.
"Why Daddy?" she asked looking up at him.
"Because if there is an emergency what they tell you is very important."
"But won't you take care of me in an emergency?"
"Of course I will. But what if I get hurt. You need to know what to do, understand?"
"You're not going to get hurt are you?" Sammy asked, bursting into tears.
"No, I'm not going to get hurt," he told her while wiping away her tears. "I promise."
Sammy wouldn't know what to do if Daddy got hurt. Especially when Mommy wasn't around. Sammy wouldn't even know what to do if something happened to take Mommy or Daddy away from her. It was something she didn't like thinking about as it always made her cry.
"Major Carter, you ok?"
"I'm fine, Sir," she replied quickly wiping her tears. "Just remembering my first plane ride with my Dad."
General Hammond smiled and nodded.
"We're coming in for a landing now, might want to buckle up," he said making her laugh softly. "Sorry, a father's habit."
"Quite alright, Sir," she smiled, putting the seat belt on.
Sam was quiet the rest of the trip. She still felt numb after learning about Dad's death. And she felt guilt for Selmak's because she never really got to know the symbiote that saved her father's life. She just assumed Dad would be around for a long time because of the symbiote. Sure, she knew the dangers of his job but Dad always, always came home alive and well after every single mission.
If she had known he wasn't coming back when he said good bye she would have said more to him. She would have at least told him that she loved him one last time.
"He knew Major," General Hammond said as their car was pulled out onto the Freeway.
"Sir?"
"You're so much like your father. After you mother died, he had that same look. He wondered if Allison knew just how much he really loved her. And I'm telling you what I told him. Your father knew how much you loved him. You didn't have to say the words, he simply knew. He always did."
"I still wish I could have told him, Sir," she replied, staring through her tears at her hands in her lap.
An arm wrapped around her. And for the first time since Mom died Sam allowed her father to comfort her as she wept. She knew what Dad told her before the funeral was true. There was no way he could have known the accident would happen. Because Sam also knew that if Dad did know, he would have done whatever it took to save Mom.
Growing up in the Carter home, Sam could see how much her parents loved each other. And because of that love, Sam was witness to tears from a man who had never wept once during her lifetime. Dad was always the strong soldier and only one thing could weaken him.
"I'm sorry, Dad," she whispered, clinging to him.
His arm tightened around her and he kissed the top of her head. He knew exactly what she was talking about and didn't need an explanation. Sam only wished that Mark could be as forgiving.
Later that day, at the house, Sam saw her father and brother having a heated discussion in the kitchen. They were trying to keep their voices low as the house was filled with many of Mom's friends and family. Like Sam, they knew father and son were so much a like. Each stubborn and prideful. So, everyone left them alone to sort things out.
"I hate you! It's your fault she's dead!" Mark screamed and punched Dad's chest.
Dad did nothing to defend himself. Nor did he do anything when Mark stormed away. A friend of Dad's, George Hammond hurried over.
"Do you want me to talk to the boy?"
"He's my son, I'll handle it!" Dad snapped and stormed off breaking the back door as he yanked it open so hard it popped of the top hinge.
George's wife held him from going after Jacob.
"He needs time alone George. They both need to settle down a bit," she said to him. He nodded and they returned to the living room.
"Samantha, stay here and tend to the guests," Grandma ordered her.
Sam watched as Grandma followed Dad out into the backyard. He was sitting on a bench with his face buried in his hands. Despite their differences, Grandma and Dad always had one thing in common. They loved Allison. Plus, Grandma knew what it was like having lost her husband a year before Sam was born.
Dad looked up, startled to see Grandma. Sam could see he was crying. Grandma sat down beside Dad and pulled him into a hug, allowing him to let out his tears on her shoulder. Sam left, feeling guilty for spying on her father. But ever since that day, he and Grandma never argued again.
The car came to a stop in front of her brother's house. He was home. It was a Saturday and from the looks of the two cars in the driveway the entire family was home as well. The driver quickly got out and opened the door for her and General Hammond.
Sam quickly flattened out her skirt and made sure her uniform was in order before they headed for the house. A few minutes after ringing the doorbell, Melissa, Mark's wife, answered the door.
"Sam, this is a surprise," the woman smiled and immediately hugged her. "It's good to see you."
"Me too," Sam responded fighting her tears. "This General Hammond."
"Uncle George Hammond from Texas?" Melissa smiled.
"The same," he smiled back, shaking her hand.
"Mark's told me so much about you."
"Melissa is Mark here, we need to speak with him," Sam said solemnly.
Melissa, an extremely perceptive woman, knew something was wrong. She didn't say anything but invited them in. Sam could see her sister-in-law was now struggling with her own tears.
"Kids, upstairs now and clean your rooms!" she shouted.
"But we're playing with Daddy!" was the response from the living room.
"Right now."
"Sam!" the kids shrieked when they saw her and came running over.
"My God, you two have grown so much since I last saw you!" she said, hugging her nephew and niece tightly.
"Sam, will you play with us later?" Annie asked.
"Maybe later, right now I have to talk to your Daddy."
"Go on kids, do as your mother says," Mark said.
Sam could tell he too knew something was up. They waited until the kids disappeared upstairs before taking their seats in the living room. Melissa sat beside Mark, holding his hand tightly. Sam sat in a near by chair. And General Hammond sat in a chair opposite Mark.
"This is about Dad, isn't it?" Mark asked even as Hammond was taking off his hat.
Right away, Sam could hear the anger in his voice.
"I'm sorry, son but it is," Hammond responded softly.
"Why couldn't he just retire like a normal person?" Mark snapped. "His fucking work has always been more important to him than his family!"
"You couldn't be farther from the truth, Mark," Hammond continued. "I never knew a man who loved his family more than your father loved his."
"He's got a funny way of showing it!"
"Mark, please," Melissa said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "He's your father."
"I don't need to be reminded who my father is! I've always known! I was Jake Carter's boy every time Dad's flying buddies were around. Mom even told me I was just like Dad on so many occasions! I'm even a workaholic just like Dad! And so are you, Sam!"
Sam couldn't respond to Mark's anger. Her grief was more present now than before. All this reminding her of Mom's death only added to the grief she felt for her Dad.
"Then as his son, you should know that Jacob died saving the lives of a hundred and fourteen souls," Hammond said earnestly.
Doing the math, Sam knew that there were only fifty-seven Tok-ra at the SGC. But if you count each individual personality you double that number.
"He knowingly sacrificed his life to save the lives of those who were important to him," Hammond continued. "And knowing Jacob as we do, he would have done the same thing for his family or strangers."
Mark's features softened and his eyes glistened with fresh tears.
"But I just got Dad back into my life. Things were rocky for so long. We even had a long discussion last month over the phone. We apologized for being stubborn SOBs to each other."
"At least he died knowing about his grandson," Melissa added through her tears, hugging her husband.
Mark wept, placing his hand on Melissa's belly. Sam hadn't noticed before but she could see now that it was slightly protruding.
"We were going to name him after Dad," Mark said then smiled. "Dad was so happy. He said he was going to try and be here for the baby's birth."
Mark paused and looked at General Hammond.
"He always came home from his missions. Always! I…I just never thought any differently about this one. He told me it was his last mission…he promised. I just can't believe he's gone."
Sam wept. She still couldn't believe it either. A part of her was in denial and firmly believed that Dad was still out there and was going to walk through that Stargate with a smirk on his face.
Daniel insisted he drive her home at the end of her shift. He was a good friend and he was in mourning too. So Janet couldn't refuse his offer. However, during the drive he started asking her questions. Questions the she didn't feel like answering right now.
"So, how did you and Jacob hook up? I'm just curious about how long the two of you have managed to keep it a secret."
"Three of us," she breathed softly.
"Excuse me?"
"There were three of us. Selmak was just as much a part of the relationship as Jacob or myself," she answered, turning to watch the trees pass by her window.
"I'm sorry," was all he said then was quiet.
For a while, only the hum of the engine and sound of the gentle blast from the heater could be heard. Janet hugged herself, as the warmth provided no comfort to her right now. Closing her eyes she could almost feel Jacob and Selmak's arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm as they had done on so many nights. She could even feel Jacob's breath against her neck, whispering his affections for her while Selmak caressed her body.
"Do you need me to turn the heat up?" Daniel asked, yanking her back to reality.
"No."
"It might help to talk…"
"Daniel, I don't want to talk!" she snapped at him. "It hurts too much to even think about them right now!"
Daniel didn't respond nor could she tell if she hurt him by being so harsh. She felt guilty. He was only trying to help.
"I'm sorry," she said, tears filling her eyes so much that she couldn't see the stop sign clearly as they slowed down.
"Hey, it's ok," he smiled, taking hold of her hand. "I'm here for you whenever you need me. I'm just a phone call away."
"Thank you. But I will be fine."
"I sure hope so," he said, driving on again. "You're a mommy now!"
Janet giggled softly.
"When's the baby due?" he asked.
"May fifteenth."
"And when are you going to tell Sam?"
Janet sighed. She knew she had to tell Sam sooner or later. Preferably before Janet started showing signs of her pregnancy.
"I think she would be happy that a part of her father is still alive," he continued when she didn't respond.
"I can't right now, Daniel. But I will tell her. She is my best friend. I owe it to her and to Jacob."
"Good," he smiled.
Once home, Janet went in alone. She needed to be alone right now. Daniel reluctantly agreed to leave but promised to call her in the morning to make sure she was doing well. She was tired and exhausted so she headed for her bedroom upstairs.
Yet, lying on the bed, she immediately felt its loneliness even though Jacob's presence could still be felt. She even thought she could smell his cologne on the pillow. The emptiness filled her, as she knew the man she loved would never hold her or make love to her in this bed again. She wept at the thought of him never knowing about his child that she carried inside her.
Janet got up and hurried downstairs. Her bedroom had too much of Jacob and Selmak's essence for her to handle right now. As did much of the house. Even though they weren't living with her, each time they were on Earth they had stayed at her house. A single night here and a couple of nights there added up over time to where Janet felt so comfortable having them in her home.
After sitting on the couch, Janet reached and picked the thick book off the coffee table. Inside its pages was a secret no one knew about. But it made Janet smile as she opened the book. There inside lay two ticket stubs for the Opera La Boheme. Beside them was a pressed rose that Jacob had given her that same evening they had attended the opera. The rose's aroma was still powerful as it brought to the surface the memories of a night over a year ago…
"General Carter?" she asked surprised to see him, of all people, at an Opera.
"Dr. Fraiser," he said as he turned and smiled. "Why do you look so surprised?"
"Just never imagined a guy like you enjoying an Opera," she answered, then glanced around. "Did Sam drag you along?"
"For your information, I happen to enjoy opera. And I usually have to drag Sam along with me! Besides, there's a lot about me you and most of the Air Force doesn't know. As intended, can't let my subordinates think I'm a softy!"
Janet laughed. Again she was surprised. General Carter was not a man one would see joking about himself.
"Actually, Sam bowed out," he continued. "I happen to have front row seats and still have her ticket. If…"
"Front Row! How did you manage that?"
"I am a General," he said then leaned closer, talking so only she could hear. "And I am compensated for carrying Selmak around in my head."
Again, Janet laughed.
"How does he feel about opera?"
"Oh, this isn't his first time here," Carter answered. "Whenever when we have the opportunity we come here, even if we come alone."
"I'm sorry…I just never would have guessed," she admitted.
"So…would you like to join me in the front row? Or…" he paused looking down at her ticket. "Or sit back in the thick of the audience."
Janet glanced at her ticket.
"I'll reimburse you for your ticket if it makes you feel any better," he smiled.
"That's ok. I…" she started to say.
He suddenly yanked the ticket from her hand.
"Be right back!" he smiled.
Janet didn't know what to make of him as he headed to the ticket booth. General Carter was at the window talking and pointing at her. Janet blushed not even knowing what he was talking about just that it had something to do with her. He'd turned back towards the ticket seller then a few minutes later headed back towards her with this quirky grin on his face.
Two things just occurred to her. One, she never associated the work quirky with him or any General for that matter. And two, she didn't know he could smile that big!.
"Here," he grinned, handing her three twenty dollar bills.
"But they're non-refundable!"
"I managed to persuade him," he smiled proudly.
"I'm afraid to ask!"
"Shall we?" he asked, holding out his arm for her.
Janet took hold of his arm, wondering what surprises lay ahead of her that evening. And in that single action, little did she know it was the beginning of something truly wonderful.
The performance was exquisite and the music was breathtaking. And Janet was also fully aware of the man, dressed in a neatly pressed dark charcoal gray suit, sitting beside her. Every so often she felt him glancing at her. One time she looked and their eyes locked briefly. He quickly looked away and had shift nervously in his seat. It didn't happen again, leaving Janet to wonder if she was imagining things.
Only he surprised her again, once the opera was over when he nervously asked her if she wanted to join him for coffee at the coffeehouse across the street. She didn't think he had a nervous bone in his body! Without thinking, Janet agreed. She honestly didn't see the harm, as she didn't have to work in the morning or worry about Cassie because she was away at college now.
During that hour they sat, side by side, in a small corner booth, Janet realized she had General Carter, or Jacob as he insisted she call him, pegged wrong. Way wrong! She knew he was intelligent and had the manners of a gentleman. What surprised her was that he was charismatic and humble. But most surprising was his sense of humor. He made her laugh at his own expense on several occasions.
"Jacob…I have to ask, I would have bet money that you were a die hard coffee drinker but…tea?"
Jacob leaned and whispered in her ear, "Selmak doesn't like coffee. I managed to convince him to at least try tea so I could still get my caffeine high!"
Janet laughed wildly, leaning against him. Her laughter died down when she felt his arm move around her and he was looking thoughtfully into her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat as he looked as if he wanted to kiss her. This time she surprised herself by wanting him to! She turned away, feeling the heat rush into her face, afraid he would see the desire in her eyes.
"Perhaps we should leave, free up the booth for someone else," his close lips whispered into her ear.
They were so close…he was so close she could feel his soft breaths against her neck. Janet turned and nodded, barely able to breathe as their lips were mere inches apart. His dark eyes looked longingly into hers. His fingertips ever so delicately caressing the nape of her neck beneath her long hair.
"Anything else?" the waitress asked just as he was leaning in.
"No…no thank you," he said, clearing his throat and moving away, his hand sliding down her back. "Can I get the check please?"
"Sure," the lady smiled then left.
"What wonderful timing!" Janet commented sarcastically, making Jacob laugh heartily.
Janet was disappointed that the moment was gone. The feeling still lingered as he took hold of her hand, helping her to her feet. Still, she was mildly disappointed that he didn't kiss her. She couldn't understand why! Well, a part of her did. But as his helped to put her sweater on, she couldn't believe this was actually happening. You can't fall for someone this fast, can you?
"Where's your car?" he asked as they stepped outside.
"I took a cab," she answered, feeling his hand grab hold of hers again. "My car's in the shop. Sam's actually been taking me to work the past couple of days."
"Well, I can't in good conscience allow a lovely lady to stand outside in the cold and wait for her cab. Allow me to take you home?"
"You don't have to," she smiled.
"Please?" he begged, pressing his lips against the back of her hand. "It would be an honor."
Janet blushed. No man ever talked to her in such a manner. The few that she dated, including her ex-husband, were groping apes or chauvinistic pigs. This man was actually a real live gentleman! And she found herself wondering what this kind man was thinking and why on Earth he seemed interested in her.
"Ok," she smiled.
Jacob smiled back, tucking her arm in his. As they were walking towards the parking lot, he managed to swipe a single red rose from a small flower stand without the proprietor even noticing. Janet was blushing again as he handed it to her.
Ever the gentleman, he even opened the car door for her and assisted her into the car. During the drive they were quiet but she noticed him glancing at her every so often. Only there was a change in him this time; he didn't seem as nervous as before. Actually, he didn't seem nervous at all!
When he pulled into her driveway, they both started to say something at the same time. And the both laughed softly.
"Go ahead," he insisted.
"I just wanted to thank you. I had a very pleasant evening."
"You're very welcome."
"Did Selmak have a nice time?"
"Yes, he did," Jacob smiled. "We had a lovely time with you."
Taking that as her queue, Janet reached for the door handle.
"No," he spoke softly, moving quickly, placing his left hand on hers and the door handle. Again, his face was so close and she felt as if he wanted to kiss her. "Allow me."
Janet nodded and smiled politely. His hand lingered on hers for a moment before it tentatively caressed her cheek. A wave of heat came over her. One she knew was not from the car's heater as the engine had been turned off. His lips gently brushed against hers. Then he abruptly pulled away, getting out of the car and leaving her wanting more.
He was nervous again after opening her door. Probably wondering if he had done the right thing in kissing her. As far as Janet was concerned, it felt right and saw nothing wrong with it. His dark eyes quickly darted from her towards something else then back at her until they reached her front door.
"Would you like to come in for some tea?" she asked.
"I should really be going," his mouth said but his eyes said differently.
They were filled with a longing that obviously he wasn't prepared for any more than she was. She actually had to turn away, thinking he could see the longing she felt deep inside.
"Another time then," she smiled, turning back to him.
"The next time I'm Earth…dinner and a movie?" he asked.
"It's a date!"
"Goodnight, Janet" he smiled, then quickly kissed her on the cheek.
"Good night, Jacob."
After he turned to walk away, Janet opened the door and walked in. Only to her surprise, Jacob came back and was suddenly standing there when she turned to close the door.
"You know, Selmak said we could stay a little longer if your offer still stands for tea," he said with this almost boyish, pleading expression on his face.
Of course, Janet couldn't say know to him. They talked in the kitchen as she made the tea. Talking seemed to calm his nerves, as he was talking nonstop. Or perhaps he was simply anxious to tell her about himself. Regardless, after that everything was a blur.
Janet remembered they had moved into the living room and continued talking while sitting on the couch. Next thing she knew they were kissing and had been for a while as they had maneuvered around so that she was lying beneath him. Though he kept most of his weight just to the side of her.
That's when Janet's head got in the way. Her grandmother often told her that she thought too much. And Janet would be the first one to agree with her. However, in this situation, Janet firmly believed that before she and Jacob went any further something needed to be said. Especially since it was very obvious a part of him and her was more than ready to go to the next level.
"Jacob…wait…we shouldn't be doing this," she gasped, gently pushing at him.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, lying on his side next to her. Janet could feel his body tremble slightly as his hand caress her arm. "We didn't mean for it to go that far. It's…it's just been a long time since either of us felt this way the way we feel about you."
Janet closed her eyes. She didn't need to hear that. As much as she wanted to hear those kind of words spoken to her…
"Jacob…that's not what I meant. We're both officers in the Air Force," she said to him making him smile.
"Janet, my dear, if every single officer thought that way many of us would never have been born," he smiled, pushing her hair back. "Neither of my kids would have been born."
"I…"
"Shh…" he cooed. "You're thinking too much. What we feel for each other is perfectly natural. It's something I didn't think I would ever feel again. And it doesn't make it any less natural because I have a symbiote in my head. Unless…is…is it because of Selmak?"
"No," Janet quickly said, caressing his face. "I'm comfortable around you and other Tok'ra."
"Good," he smiled. "Because Selmak feels for you the same way I do. If you want us to stop, we will. Just so you know, it doesn't change how we feel."
"But…"
"Janet, I'll say this again. What we do and feel is perfectly natural. And to be frank, the entire universe doesn't need to know about it. It's between you, Selmak, and me. Ok?"
For a long while he talked to her. Telling her of his feelings, of Selmak's feelings. How both of them weren't expecting this to happen so suddenly but knew to seize the moment because they don't happen that often. They ended up in her bedroom, making love long into the morning hours.
The doorbell rang pulling Janet out of her reverie. The memory still lingered throughout her body as she lay on the couch. Her knees even felt wobbly as she got to her feet when the doorbell persisted. She was very surprised to see General Hammond of all people on her doorstep. The concern so evident on his face.
"How are you doing Janet?" he asked.
"I'm doing fine," she said, trying to wipe her tears away quickly.
"If you don't mind me saying but that's a load of bull," he smiled warmly at her. He paused and took in a deep breath. "Jacob told me about you."
Janet's eyes instantly welled up.
"He loved you very much."
"He told you?"
"Not in so many words but I knew him well," Hammond sighed. "He had that smirk on his face when he mentioned your name. It was all I needed to know just how special you were to him."
"Thank you, Sir. That means a lot to me. Won't you come in?"
"No, I need to be getting home as it's late and we have a big day tomorrow at the SGC. I came by because I didn't get a chance to see you before I headed down to San Diego."
"Right, I was in surgery most of the day."
"You did a good job saving those Tok'ra."
"It was my job, Sir."
"No, Janet you always do more than what the job requires. I'm glad you're a part of my staff."
"I am to, Sir," she smiled.
"Anyway, Jacob and Selmak wanted me to give this to you," Hammond said, pulling an envelope out of his jacket pocket. "I was to give it to your once I learned of their deaths."
Janet's hand trembled as she took the envelope. Her stomach fluttered at what the contents might be. And her heart ached because it meant Jacob and Selmak knew this day might happen.
"Thank you, Sir," she sniffled.
"Also, if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask," he smiled, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "And I haven't told anyone about you and Jacob. I figured that was your business whom you shared that information with."
"I'm going to tell Sam but I want to wait a little while."
"She would like that very much. Well, I had better be going. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Sir."
Janet returned to the couch and opened the envelope. Inside where two smaller envelopes. One from Jacob and the other from Selmak. Jacob's had a letter to her, explaining about how sorry he was and how much that words could never express how much he loved her. He even went so far as to tell her to move on with her life that if she found someone worth hanging onto then do it, that her happiness meant everything to him. As far as Janet was concerned that day was far off. And she didn't know if she would ever find someone that she loved as deeply as Jacob and Selmak.
After a few minutes, Janet allowed her tears to dry some before opening the letter from Selmak.
My Dearest Janet,
Jacob does not know the contents of this letter. But know that when the time came, I did reveal to him what I am about to reveal to you now.
By now I am sure you are fully aware of the baby you now carry. Please, my love, do not worry, he will be born a normal human child. If you forgive me, but the perfect blending between you and Jacob.Theboywas the only gift that I could give you. Yes, it is a boy. It took months of effort to manipulate Jacob's genes so that when he got you pregnant it would be a boy. Of course, this was all without his knowledge. As was allowing you to get pregnant.
I'm sure you're wondering how I can be so certain that you are pregnant. Well, you forget, my love, I used to be a woman. In fact I was several of them during my lifetime. I experienced all a woman goes through from month to month. And I learned to recognize those same sublte signs from a man's perspective. I knew you were at your most fertile time of the month, which is why I suggested to Jacob that we make love to you. I told him it could be the last time. Between you and me, he didn't need much convincing. He loves you so very much.
As do I, my love. There are no words in either Jacob's or my language to express the depth of that love. My only regret is not seeing the son you and Jacob created. I have no doubts that he will be a beautiful child just like his mother. I am positive he will have his father's stubbornness as all the Carter children are doomed to have it. And I have no doubt that you will be a wonderful mother. Jacob would agree with me on that point as he often said you were a good mother to Cassandra.
I'm afraid I must go now. Jacob is getting anxious. Know that we do regret leaving you alone. And know that every day you are in our minds and in our hearts and that each moment without you in our arms is unbearable.
Loving you always, Selmak
Janet curled up on the couch, clutching both letters close to her chest. Her heart filled with a mixture of grief and joy. Grief for the loss of two souls she loved deeply. And joy for carrying within her the son of a man whom loved her just as much and joy for knowing he knew about his son.