It was the weekend; Cartman had just bought himself an entire pizza for himself. Mr Kitty walked up to him and meowed
"No, Mr Kitty! This is my pizza!" Cartman growled at him
Cartman sat down on the sofa, Mr Kitty meowed at him again
"No, Mr Kitty! That's a bad kitty!" Cartman scowled, Mr Kitty meowed again
"God damnit! Moooooom! Kitty's being a dick hole again!" Cartman yelled, no answer
"Meeeeeem!" Cartman yelled again, nothing
"God damn slut! Looks like I gotta do everything around here!" Cartman backstabbed
"Mr Kitty… Get the fuck out!" Cartman shouted, he then picked up Mr Kitty and threw him outside
"There…" Cartman relieved, before getting an interrupting phone call
"What now?" Cartman asked on the phone
"Hey uh, is this Mr Wall on the phone?" a teenage voice asked
"…no" Cartman asked confused
"Is Mrs Wall on the phone?" he asked
"No, there are no walls here" Cartman answered
"Then how does your roof stay up?" the voice asked and then chuckled
"Wha- Oh very funny! Are you Buck Rodger? That fat 6th grader who lives down the road again?" Cartman demanded
"No, we're from the future" the teenager answered, Cartman realized what he was dealing with
"Oh, you sneaky son of bitch!" Cartman whispered, before hanging up
Cartman laid sideways on the sofa and a knocking was heard on the door. Cartman decided to get it himself, but Cartman's mom immediately sprinted to the door
"About time!" Cartman complained. Cartman's mom as usual, did not care about what her son said to her
She opened the door, and a man wearing a dark green shirt and grey pants appeared, grabbing Cartman's attention
"Oh, hello!" Cartman's mom said
"Who the hell is this?" Cartman asked
"Eric, this is Shaun. Shaun, this is Eric!" she said
"Oh uh, hi Eric!" Shaun said
"What is he doing h-" Cartman was distracted by a small kindergartener who was there.
"Eric's a little verbal, but I'm sure you can understand what he's been through" Cartman's mom whispered to Shaun
"Mom! What is this man doing here and who is that kid?!" Cartman demanded
"Eric, this is myyyyyyy… boyfriend sort of. We met each other on the internet" Cartman's mom explained
Cartman was confused, but then realised what this would lead to. "Oh, hell no!" Cartman shouted, he ran to his room and shut the door.
"This can't be happening! I don't want a second father!" Cartman said, vicious memories of "201" with Cartman finding out who his father was and why he would never meet him.
Tears silently welled from his eyes, Cartman ran to his bed and covered his face with his pillow and began sulking. Cartman's mom knocked on the door with Shaun
"Sweetie?" she asked
"What?" Cartman said, removing his face from his pillow
"Eric, I'd like to talk to you for a second" Cartman's mom requested
Cartman sat straight up; his mom shut the door and put her hand on his back
"Eric, what's wrong?" she asked
Cartman sniffed "well, I just don't want to have a second part of a family, it just changes everything mom! Everything I ever knew is gone… to something else" Cartman explained
"I know change is hard for you Eric, but look on the bright side. At least now you have a father and all your friends can stop teasing you about it" Cartman's mom said, trying to cheer him up
"You really think so?" Cartman asked delightedly
"Yes, and if you're lucky, our income might increase so you won't have to be the second poorest kid in school anymore" Cartman's mom said mainly to cheer him up
"Oh really? Kewl!" Cartman said, being bright now
"Come on Eric, it's time have some tea" Cartman's mom said
At the Dinner table, Cartman and the kindergartener were sitting at one side of the table, Cartman's mom was sitting at the other side and Shaun sat at the head. Shaun had a dark green shirt, grey pants, and grey-brown hair.
"Eric, this is Clyde" Shaun said pointing at the kindergartener. Clyde had brown hair, a white button shirt and grey pants.
"…Hey Clyde" Cartman greeted Clyde
"…Hi, Eric" Clyde said nervously
"So, uh, what happened to your other side of the family? Cartman asked
"…Well …she died of breast cancer 2 years ago" Shaun said disheartened
"…oooh, that's a shame" Cartman apologized
"Oh, you poor thing!" Cartman's mom said
"Why don't we focus on biography, like… tell them what life was like before?" Clyde said, mispronouncing biography
Cartman dropped his fork in surprise to how nerdy Clyde could speak
"What a fag!" Cartman thought
"Well, I was born in Germany, I lived with my parents till I was about 19, had Clyde when I was 38" Shaun said
Cartman suddenly belched
"Eric, we do not eructate at the table!" Shaun yelled
"Well, I'm sorry. But this is my house, my mom lets me burp when I wanna and you're the ones who have to respect our property, not us" Cartman said
"Well, how about we let the boys have a day at school together tomorrow?" Cartman's mom suggested
"That's a great idea!" Shaun said
"Oh god" Cartman said