M*A*S*H: Follow-Up
Crabapple Cove, Maine. 1954
A hundred years later
Dear B.J.,
I'm glad to hear that you re-adjusted so well when you got back, and equally glad that you, Peg and Erin are doing well. I'll have to get myself out to Mill Valley one of these days so we can meet up and I can finally see your family in person. Anyway, I don't want to make this one of my novel-sized letters I used to send to my dad, so I'll end it here by saying, to answer your question, that I haven't done anything medical since Korea, and I'm not sure if I will be soon. I'm just not comfortable with it yet, if that makes any sense. I know you immediately went back to practicing when you got back, but I just need some time away from the stethoscope.
Your Friend and former tent-mate,
Hawkeye Pierce
Hawkeye Pierce, dressed in a red bathrobe over his pajamas, sat at the kitchen table in the house he shared with his father, Daniel Pierce in Crabapple Cove and put down his pencil. He placed the letter into an envelope and sealed it. Daniel walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice. He placed it on the table and grabbed a glass from a cabinet, before sitting down opposite Hawkeye.
"So, Hawk. Are you feeling up for coming to back to the practice?" Daniel asked.
"I'm not sure. Still getting adjusted back to civilian life." Hawkeye replied.
It's been almost a year, son. I'm worried about you."
"Don't worry, Dad. I'm fine."
"Maybe just a trial run?"
"I'll come back when I feel like it." Hawkeye insisted. "It's hard to go from a healer to a butcher and back again."
"All right." Daniel sighed, pouring his orange juice into the glass.
Later, Hawkeye sat in his room and picked up his copy of Last of the Mohicans, turning it over in his hands, when he heard the doorbell ring at the front door. He walked out of his room and saw his father answering the door. He couldn't see who was at the door and so he walked closer to the door and saw a familiar face talking to his father.
"Hawkeye, I think this is one of your friends." Daniel said.
"Sidney... what are you doing here?" Hawkeye asked.
"Have to check up on you from time to time, that bus incident was pretty traumatic."
"Sidney, I thought we were done when you left the 4077th that last time."
"Well, I was in the neighborhood and figured I should do a house call." Sidney shrugged.
"Hawkeye, I've got to get to work. You and Dr. Freedman can catch up, and I'll see you when I get home."
Sidney sat on the couch in Hawkeye's living room as Hawkeye walked into the room with two glasses in one hand, and a bottle in his other hand.
"What's in the bottle?" Sidney asked.
"Lighter fluid. Only bottle I took back from Korea." Hawkeye replied. "Very good vintage."
"I'm not too sure my body can take it, I've been having the real stuff since I got back." Sidney said.
"Come on, where's your sense of adventure?" Hawkeye insisted.
"Korea." Sidney smirked.
"I know how you feel." Hawkeye sat down and poured out two glasses. He handed one to Sidney.
"Okay, listen, I did have an ulterior motive of coming here. I need a consultant for a patient. He's someone who was in Korea, and I wanted someone who was there to help me."
"There were other psychiatrists besides you there."
"But I wasn't friends with any of them. I want you, and you need to get out of Crabapple Cove for a bit."
"Fine, where's the patient?"
"It's a surprise."
"I'm not going unless you tell me." Hawkeye said.
"Where's your sense of adventure?" Sidney raised his glass and took a swig, before recoiling immediately after the martini passed his lips.
Hawkeye, now dressed in a navy blue button-down shirt, and Sidney landed in Fort Wayne, Indiana and got into a taxi, riding it to a large medical practice. They got out of the taxi and walked up to the building.
"Okay, Sidney. I've played along, who are we in Indiana to see? Who's the mystery patient?" Hawkeye asked.
"He's right over there." Sidney said, pointing to a man in a suit walking up to them. A man with a familiar, rather weaselly, or some would even say, ferret-like, face.
"Frank Burns?" Hawkeye asked as the man approached them.
"Hey, Hawkeye!" Frank said, extending his hand to Hawkeye, who shook it while staring at Frank in confusion. "Dr. Freedman."
"Nice to see you again, Frank. You don't mind that I've brought Hawkeye along, do you?" Sidney asked.
"Not at all! I was hoping that I'd be able to track down his address or phone number to get back in contact and catch up with him!" Frank said.
"You brought me to see Frank Burns? Why?" Hawkeye asked.
"Listen, Margaret got back in contact with me after the war. She told me about what happened to you... there's no shame in cracking, you know?" Frank said, putting his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.
"Thanks, Frank. So the mystery patient was Frank Burns? He seems fine, I don't think he needs either of us!" Hawkeye exclaimed. "Why did you drag me all the way here?"
"Why don't we talk in my office?" Frank asked, motioning towards the front door of the practice.
In a large office, Frank sat down behind a large desk, which had some of his effects neatly placed, including a familiar framed photograph of an older woman in a silver frame. Hawkeye and Sidney sat down opposite Frank, who tapped a button on the intercom sitting on his desk.
"Nancy, please hold all my calls. Thanks." Frank sat back in his seat.
"You still haven't told me why we're here." Hawkeye said.
"Hawkeye, you remember what happened to Frank after Margaret married that Lieutenant Colonel, right?" Sidney asked.
"He flipped his lid while on leave and got sent stateside. Of course I remember, that was the highlight of the week!" Hawkeye laughed.
"Frank, tell Hawkeye what happened." Sidney said.
"After that incident with the Brigadier General, they held me for a psychiatric evaluation. They called in Sidney and he helped me work through my feelings about Margaret. I was in a bad place, I had been for a while, basically ever since Margaret broke it off, maybe even earlier, and I... I just didn't know how to process my emotions. Sidney thought that it might be because I kept seeing her everywhere." Frank said. "Literally and figuratively."
"So he suggested you be transferred stateside, to be far away from her." Hawkeye interjected.
"And closer to my wife and kids." Frank said. "Being closer, it made me take stock of my life and I finally started to be a better father, husband and person."
"And better doctor, I hope." Hawkeye joked.
Uncharacteristically, Frank shrugged off Hawkeye's remark with a chuckle of his own, whereas back at the 4077th, he'd have gotten into a verbal spar with Hawkeye.
"I'm healthier now. And despite all the trauma, everything we suffered through... I was able to get back in the saddle." Frank said.
"I've gotta know, was the promotion Sidney's idea too?" Hawkeye asked.
"Well, the Brigadier General was also a patient of mine." Sidney chuckled.
"I heard that you haven't gone back to practicing yet. Any particular reason why?" Frank asked.
"That's what this is about? Who put you up to this, my dad?" Hawkeye demanded.
"Actually, it was B.J. He was getting concerned from the letters and looked me up." Sidney admitted. "What's the reason?"
"During our last night at the 4077th, after you had left, Sidney, we all got to talking about what we wanted to do next. Where we'd go from there... and I thought I knew. I was going to go back to practicing real medicine. Make Crabapple Cove say ah, you know?" Hawkeye started. "But when I got back, every time I glanced at a stethoscope, or a needle, I'd be back in the OR, standing next to Nurse Able demanding metzenbaum scissors or a scalpel, and I can't do it. I can't be back there."
Sidney nodded. Frank cleared his throat and started to speak up.
"If it makes you feel any better, I felt the same way whenever I saw a blonde woman that even remotely resembled Margaret. The only way I was able to work past it was to accept what happened and close that chapter of my life." Frank said. "If I saw Margaret in every blonde woman on the street and tried to avoid it... I'd never be able to leave my house! You have to push through it. See just one patient, one head cold, or even just a hangnail or something."
Hawkeye sat for a moment, lost in thought. Sidney and Frank exchanged glances as Hawkeye turned his attention back to the two former majors.
"You know you two are major pains in the butt, right?" Hawkeye chuckled, then began to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke. Sidney and Frank rolled their eyes before they both joined in on the laugh.
One Week Later
Dear B.J.,
I know it's only been a week since I sent my last letter, and you haven't even replied to it yet, but I wanted to change some of the things I told you in my last letter. I got a very interesting visit from a certain psychiatrist at the request of a certain clown-shoed, cheesy mustache adorned doctor. I should be angry at you but all I really want to say is thank you. But anyway, I think that we should—
"Dr. Pierce? Your first patient is in room three." the receptionist called out.
"I'll be right there!" Hawkeye, now wearing a stethoscope around his neck and a lab coat over his red button-down, put his pen down and stood up from his desk. He took a deep breath and exhaled.
He walked out into the hallway and into room three, closing the door behind him.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Pierce, what seems to be the problem today?"