Title: Security Report
Author: Madilayn
Rating: PG
Fandom: Battle of the Planets
Characters / Pairings: G-Force, Chief Anderson
Disclaimer: Battle of the Planets is owned by the Sandy Frank Corporation & Gatchaman by Tatsunoko. I make no profit from my use of characters and situations
Summary: Chief Anderson sends a report
Author Notes: Written for the November 2007 issue of Bird Scramble
Report on the G-Force Project, prepared by Security Chief Anderson for President Kane of the Intergalactic Federation of Peaceful Planets(Extract)
It is now the tenth year since this project was assigned to me – and the G-Force team are now fully functional as a combat unit. I am extremely proud of their abilities, both in the skills they utilize as a team and in their individual abilities.
I would, however, at this point, refer you to my memo of the 15th of May asking that provision be made for the services of a combat authorized counsellor to assist in team building efforts. The Counsellor sent was a lovely lady; unfortunately, she was no match for G-Force during her attempted session on "Teams in Action". Fortunately, her injuries have all healed fully and her own counselling sessions are coming on well. The ISO Psychiatrists anticipate a full mental and physical recovery – once they overcome her phobia of birds.
This phase of the team, however, is somewhat trying as one has to keep remembering that they are teenagers, and special attention has to be paid to the instructions given to them.
Generally, I am pleased to say, they respond well to orders and instructions, and are able to act upon them with maturity, responsibility and integrity.
On occasion, however, they act as the teenagers they are and it seems that every suggestion, recommendation or order they are given means that they will do exactly the opposite. Fortunately, I am beginning to recognize the situations that cause this and can modify my requirements accordingly.
The last modification to Princess' implant that allowed us to accurately calculate her menstrual cycle has immeasurably improved communication with her. I am now able to utilise this cycle effectively. You may have noticed over the past six months or so that no Spectran attacks tend to happen around the second and third weeks of the month. Mark reports that the effect of having a pre-menstrual Swan dropped into the middle of a mecha and allowed to do her worst has been an education both for G-Force and Spectra.
Personally, I think it's an avenue that we may want to explore with our regular forces as well. A platoon of pre-menstrual commandoes could make all the difference.
At this point, I would like to advise that Keyop is on the mend following his interesting sculpture attempt using tampons. Princess has been counselled on the correct techniques to use when she has a complaint about a teammate, and has also promised that she won't use weapons next time. She has also finished paying for repairs to the ready room.
Designs for an upgrade to the Phoenix have been scrapped following in-depth consultations with the team. We have decided to keep with the current design and instead work on improvements in the weaponry.
Jason's request for an increase in the number of Bird Missiles has been declined, as has Tiny's for a Space Burger dispenser.
Speaking of Tiny, he has apologized to the Chief Design Engineer (who's injuries are also healing nicely) for repeatedly beating him about the head with the model of the "improved" Phoenix whilst screaming, "I'm not flying a chicken". I'm accepting this, even though I am sceptical about Tiny's actual meaning of sorry. I don't think he really was, but I'm not going to argue with a person who can lift me with one hand and toss me out of the way. (Thank you for your enquiry, however. The bruises are almost gone).
Mark seems to be getting over his tendency to want to resign every time something doesn't go how he planned. I'm not sure his current strategy of coping by going on his own after the enemy is any improvement.
On the other hand, Jason has discovered (by Mark's actions) just how irritating that little tendency is, and now thinking before he does the same.
Our problems with the Zark unit continue. It is becoming more and more irrational, and our IT area reports that it seems to be able to infiltrate more and more systems – causing them to also become irrational. In hindsight, deciding to put one of Quanto Tobor's prototype "Personality" robots in charge of things at Centre Neptune was a very bad move.
It appears to have developed a crush on S.U.S.A.N. (the early warning system) as well as both Mark and Princess. They have both complained about inappropriate messages received from Zark. (The complaints were withdrawn when they realized that they were sending these messages to each other, and that they were not inappropriate. I disagreed, and re-instated a complaint against each of them. As neither Mark nor Princess is speaking to me at the moment, my life is wonderfully quiet).
Speaking of Quanto Tobor, I would like to address here the problem bought up in the last Council meeting.
I think that refusing to buy off QT, or sanctioning them because they also supply Mecha and robotics to Spectra is counter-productive.
God forbid that Spectra actually purchase from a company who is actually efficient and can provide a quality product. If that were the case, this report could very well be going to Zoltar.
Or, more likely, not being written at all. (Don't be offended if I tell you that the one thing that could make me support a Spectran takeover of the Federation would be that I need never write another report again).
On another note, I didn't find your suggestion that we send the team for holidays to locations that we want to demolish at all funny. They get quite annoyed when their vacation time is interrupted by a Spectra attack on the resort of their choice, and, quite frankly, are becoming a little paranoid about the whole thing.
This again brings me to the need for the combat qualified Counsellor. I think that, following your surprise visit to their last training day, you will agree that their paranoia has gotten a little out of hand. They do all apologise for the attack, but Mark pointed out (quite reasonably) that your bodyguards should have reacted faster and if they had been properly trained, would not have suffered the injuries that Princess and Keyop inflicted.
He said that the words "What? A female and a kid? I can take them" usually do result in those injuries, as a number of Spectrans have found out.
Jason asked me to convey his compliments on your training of your bodyguards, as he believes that only intense government training can cause that level of stupidity!
I hope that your arm is giving you less pain, and will be out of the cast soon.
In conclusion, I believe that this project has been entirely successful, and will become even more so as time progresses.