Warhammer 40,000: Encounters with the Angry Marines
(I do not own Warhammer, Space Marines ect. Nor did I invent the Angry Marines, funny as they are)
A short introduction to the Angry Marines
In all the vastness of the Imperium of man there is no greater champion of humanity than the Angry Marines. These warriors are possesed by a rage so great they have been known to throw themselves out of space ship airlocks just to get to the planetside battle faster. When a regiment of Imperial Gaurd fails they send five more, when those fail they send a chapter of Space Marines, if even that isn't enough... they send in one Angry Marine.
Encounter #1: Recorded by Private Catherman of the Dulce 103rd infantry, planet Dulce Segmentum Tempestus
It was the seventh month of the trench battle, a long and dreadfull fight that by its end claimed more than half our regiment. The Chaos elements had festered and grown during our adsence, and with us back the battle quickly became a planet wide assault. For damn near seven months we were forced to look across the war torn trenches at the filthy spawn of chaos... untill he came.
Catherman peered out into the night, the natural darkness interupted periodically by the flash and rumble of artillery. The trenches had turned to ankle deep sludge mostly due to the rain, but their was blood in it too. The others of his regiment stood or lay all across the miles long trench network, all keeping a constant vigil against the scum that sat across from them.
"Another charge?" Catherman turned and nodded his head in greeting to his fellow Gaurdsman.
"Not sure..." He answered. They watched silently as the las fire that had been criss crossing both sides of the battle halted slowly. It was the first time a hush had fallen over the area since the beginning of the war. After a few moments it became clear to them that something was very off.
"Get the vox officer," Catherman suggested in wonder. The other Gaurd agreed and was off without another word. He returned shortly after with a tired looking vox officer in tow.
"Sir?" He asked wearily.
"Contact forward base and see what this ceasfire is about," Catherman ordered.
"Yes sir," He sighed. "Vox two, one, one to forward command, forward command?" A brief pause, then. "Sir, calling in regaurds to the unexpected ceasfire... that's great news!"
"What is it?" Catherman asked hopefully.
"They say reinforcements are in route!" The vox officer's face darkenned suddenly as an unheard comment was added over the vox. "Oh sweet Emperor..." He sounded like his world had just come crashing down.
"What? What is it?" Catherman poked him sharply.
"They say it's, it's... Angry Marines."
"Oh... shit." It was all he could think of. Just then a whistle in the sky drew his gaze up. A small object trailed downward in the night sky, glowing fiercly with atmospheric entry. Catherman blinked back a cold sweat that had risen at the sight of the pissed off looking drop pod.
"What's," The vox officer got no further, interupted by the resounding blast ofthe pod's explosive landing. All of the Gaurdsmen were thrown to the ground by the shock, coming up sputtering out mud and curses. By the time Catherman got back up the silence had returned.
"Look!" He whispered to the others, pointing nervously toward the crater left by the pod's rather rash entry. They all watched with ill held terror as a monstrous form lumbered out of the enemy line, closing in on the still unmoving crater with inhuman strides. "Is that a fucking Bloodthrister!" Catherman stammered in horror. And indeed it was a Bloodthirster, one of the most feared of all the Emperor's many foes. The gigantic fiend stood over the bent husk of the landing pod, proding it boredly with the head of its massive blood stained axe.
Then a clanking came from withen the pod, followed by a louder one. The demon frowned its tusked face and stepped back a pace from the crashed vehicle. As the Bloodthirster of Khorne raised its axe a voice bellowed out of the pod, by far scarier than anything heard by mortal ears.
"I... SPILLED... MY FUCKING COKE!" The Bloodthrister was blindsided as the pod door suddenly flew off with a scrape of tortured metal, hitting it squarly in the face. The demon only had enough time to claw its way back to its hoofed feet before a figure emerged from the flaming wreck.
"What fool has come to embrase death?" The Bloodthirster roared into the sky, several of Catherman's fellow soldiers dropping dead from pure fear at the thing's voice. The Angry Marine simply turned to face the demon and looked up at it for a moment as though sizing it up.
"HEY!" The warrior of the Emperor shouted at us unexpectedly, turning to face it seemed, Catherman himself. "WHO'S THE FAGGOT WITH THE AXE!" The demon blinked in surprise, not even sure how to deal with being written off by a mortal. Before Catherman could answr the Marine turned back and pulled something out of the wreck.
"What in the Warp is that thing?" Catherman asked as the Angry Marine aprouched the now cowed Bloodthirster. The Bloodthirster raised its axe and met the Marine's charge with a half hearted roar. The Marine simply shouted.
"FOR THE EMPRAH, YOU SOGGY CUNT!" It was all over within moments, not just the Bloodthirster but every bit of the chaos forces on that world. The official report listed the a grand total of 99.99% of all the deaths during that war happening within that short time period.
"N,n, never," Catherman stuttered, trying to get a cigar to remain still in his twitching lips. "Never seen someone kill an army with an empty coke bottle.
-End of Encounter-