"That was sort of amazing," Rose said as she and the Doctor strolled hand in hand through the living, breathing rainforest.
"I know!" the Doctor agreed happily. "And the way that one tree moved!"
"It looked like they were dancing."
"I think they were," the Doctor commented. "I'n't that great? The land of the dancing trees."
Rose laughed. "I don't think they liked us very much, though."
"Oh? Why?" the Doctor protested. "I thought they did!"
"Mm, really? Explain to me, then," Rose joked, "why that vine tried to strangle you."
"Oh, that was just a misunderstanding," the Time Lord claimed.
"After you insulted the way it was growing…" Rose commented dryly.
The Doctor sighed. "Look, Rose, it wasn't being very smart choosing what tree to grow on, that's all I said!"
"All the same, let's get off this planet before the trees start attacking us," Rose requested. "Or before they shift position and we can't find the TARDIS."
"I've never lost her before, have I?" The Doctor sniffed, offended. "I've always kept very good track of her."
Rose coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "Yeah right."
"What? When've I lost the TARDIS?" He sounded genuinely confused.
Rose pretended to think. "Oh, I dunno, let's see…when she fell down that pit on the Impossible Planet?"
"Well, yes, but that was—."
"Nope! No, admit it, you've lost her before. I could think of half a dozen other times, too."
The Doctor sighed. "Fine, I concede, I may have…lost track of her a few times."
Rose sniffed.
"Okay! Maybe more than a couple. But not this time, I remember distinctly. She's not far away now. In fact, look! There she…is…" The Doctor's voice trailed off, and Rose couldn't stifle a giggle.
The TARDIS had been almost completely covered by the roots of a sentient tree. "Oh, blimey, that's not fair," the Doctor whimpered. "Aw, come off it! Oi, get off her!" He ran over to his poor little box, making shooing motions with his hands at the tree. The roots recoiled slightly but didn't relax their hold on the TARDIS. "Bloody…Rose, help!" He tugged at one of the larger roots, wrapped around the door, unsuccessfully.
"Oh, no, this is all yours, mate," Rose laughed.
"Rose!" the Doctor complained, still desperately yanking the root. "It's squishing her, look!"
Rose flicked her eyebrows up. "You're the one who told me that the 'assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through those doors'. Wouldn't think a tree could break in, either."
"Yeah but that's not the point!" he pouted. "We can't even get inside unless this one is gone! After that, we can just leave, but…" He groaned as the tree's grip tightened around the blue box.
"Well, maybe you just have to ask nicely," Rose pointed out.
The Doctor stepped away from the tree in surprise. "What?"
"Hadn't that occurred to you?"
"It's…a tree."
"Yeah, a sentient tree. Come on, Doctor, just ask it."
He glared at the tree and then looked back at Rose. "Do I have to?"
"It's the only way I see of getting the TARDIS back."
"Fine." He turned to the tree. "Hi there, um, tree. I was wondering if I could have my ship back? Please. Thank you." He was about to turn back to Rose and complain that it hadn't worked when with a shudder and a loud scrape, the roots drew back from around the TARDIS. "Oh!" the Time Lord said in surprise. "It worked."
"See, what'd I tell you," Rose muttered, pushing past her friend to walk open the TARDIS door and walk in. "Men," she said conversationally to the sentient ship, who whirred in response.
The Doctor sulked in. "All right, all right. You got the 'I told you so'. Leave it, 'kay?"
"Mm. Never."
"Figured so. Back me up, old girl," he pleaded to the TARDIS.
The TARDIS whirred again. It sounded like she was laughing. The Doctor pursed his lips and glared at the console. "Are you both laughing at me?"
"Yep," Rose said quickly. "She's on my side, aren't you, lovely?" Rose patted the console affectionately. The lights on the ceiling flickered and danced in amusement.
The Doctor flung his hands up in exasperation. "Oh, that's just wonderful, isn't it? I am outnumbered. I must admit defeat."
"Uh-huh, which means the chips are on you," Rose hinted, not-too-subtly.
"I haven't got money."
"Your problem, once again, mate."
"Hmph."
The TARDIS's engines started up as she laughed, and she carried her two charges far, far away, to somewhere they might find some good chips, and possibly visit Rose's family, too. They hadn't done that in over a month. It was about time someone stepped in, and as usual, the TARDIS took it upon herself to see that everything was right in their worlds.
That was lighter than my usual style, but it was fun to write! I hope you thought it was fun to read. #4 in my Doctor&Companion(s) one-shot series. The first three are The Red Bicycle, Faith and Trust, and Nobody Was Done Dancing. Please review! I love hearing from you. Thanks for reading!