Description: I'm not a ninja- not even close. I decided a few years too late that I wanted to become one, however I will do my part in protecting and helping my village. I don't want to be a hero or have a fancy title. If you must give me one, just call me a citizen soldier. OC-Centric, Cannon characters, no current pairings

Warning/Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto or the song used, however I do own my OC's and the plot of this story. There will be slight language and possible sexual themes

Citizen soldiers

Holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair

Standing on guard for the ones that we've sheltered

We'll always be ready because we will always be there
~Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down

I'm not a ninja- not even close. My parents are civilians and I followed in their footsteps- not venturing out to join the ninja academy. I instead opted to go the regular school for civilian children and teens. That was my biggest mistake. I was so overcome with fear back then that I didn't realize how much I wanted to help my village- to have the ability to protect my family. I was afraid of failing as a ninja, of being told I was no good- of getting killed in battle. I'm such a coward.

I live a peaceful life in the Konoha. I simply get up and go to school while the true hero's go and protect our village.

"I'm so glad you never became a ninja," My mother would tell me often. It was then followed by telling me that a close friend's son or daughter was killed in action.

However, contrary to my mother, my father wished I had made the decision to become one. "I wish I would have been more forceful. You could have brought more honor to this family," He would tell me. Whatever, thanks Dad, it's too late now.

To make it up to my Dad for not being a ninja, I sought out different ways to help my village. Mother would drop me off at school where during my free time I thought up plans and relayed them to my friends.

"Kikyo, I doubt you'd be happy as a simple diplomat or assistant to high ranked officer. Besides, you need to be at least a Chunin to even stand a chance to get a job like that," My friend Yumi, had told me when we were eleven. I felt like I would become a failure. That I would be forced to become a waitress or work in a clothing shop like so many other civilian women. I wanted adventure and action, not customer service. "But…I think there is something you can do."

"What is it?" I asked, leaning closer to her anticipation.

Yumi glanced around nervously, brushing her blond hair out of her face. "Well, I'm not supposed to know this, but my big brother works for an underground business of sorts."

The "underground" business was known simply as Xaria Delivery, located in the middle of town with bright florescent lights on the sign. On the outside, to the civilian world, they can come to us with odd jobs that they wouldn't bother ninja's with. Sure a genin could probably do the jobs, but some clients simply wanted someone a bit more qualified- especially if the job they needed done was inside of their home. However, on the inside, to the world beyond civilian understanding was the "dark side" of the business. The dangerous delivery jobs called Courier Missions, delivery a package to an unknown client that is most of the time out of the village. I never know what's in the packages, but I'm sure Xaria does. She said she double checks them to make sure their safe before sending someone out. Along with courier missions we do trade missions sometimes and relief missions.

When I joined Xaria Delivery at the age of twelve (Yumi told me Xaria refuses to take anyone under the age of twelve- the age of a genin), I took simple in-village jobs. Delivering packages, running errands, sometimes doing carpenter work with Blade. Blade, last name unknown, was one of Xaria's most trusted employees along with Akane Yukimura. Both Blade and Akane are four years older than me and though neither of them were ninjas, they had the skills to be one. They knew the basic jutsus and were great with taijutsu. When I asked them why they decided not to join the Academy they had replied: "We made our decision too late." They were on the same boat as me- it was too late for us to try and go to the ninja academy, but through this business we could still do our part.

{Four Years Later}

"Any jobs for me today Boss?" I asked, walking into the small building that held three desks and dozens of filing cabinets overflowing with paper. "Toshiro's been asking for some new toys and I know Dad can't afford to buy him any."

My superior, Xaria, leaned back in her chair and kicked her booted feet onto her desk in thought. "Well, I just got a job in this morning however I'm about to send Blade on it. It's a courier job to Suna."

I scrunched my face in confusion. "If it's a courier mission then why are you sending Blade? No offense to him but, I am the best courier in this business."

"I'm not sending you because it's not a regular mission. It's a mission really meant for a shinobi to take, but for some reason the client didn't want a ninja to take it," She replied. "I know you're a great courier and you do your job well, but you are not as trained as Blade. Also, he's already out of the field so it's easier for him to get there."

I felt my chest tighten. All I heard was the sound of money slipping away. "Boss, you don't understand, I need this money. I've been working with you for the past four years and you know I'm skilled in taijutsu and I'm able to defend myself. You trained me for God's sakes! You know courier missions pay the best. Please don't send me on another in-village mission a genin could do."

Xaria looked up from the paper work she had busied herself with- violet eyes glaring at me sternly through her thick black bangs. "Kikyo do not make me repeat myself. You're not as experienced as those two and you also have a little brother to look out for. You're sixteen for God's sake don't be so eager to throw yourself in the line of duty so quick."

"Why not?" I questioned my voice raising. "I got into this because it was too late for me to join the Academy where other kids my age have already seen the battle field or have you forgotten about the resent attack? I wish I had become a ninja and not be living a civilian life. I want to be on the line of duty. I want to make a difference and this is the only way I know how. I came to your business for work I know will help the village even if it is in secret." By time I had finished my speech I was out of breath, my face set in a scowl.

Xaria gazed at me thoughtfully before sighing. "You can never just say okay and go about your way can you?"

"Of course not, that would make your life too easy and I wouldn't get the money I want."

The tanned woman sighed once more, placing her feet back on the floor and leaning across her desk to gather papers around her. "How about this: You meet Blade out on the field with the package and he'll go with you."

"But-"

"Take it or leave it Yamaguchi."

Oh, she went all last name on me, she's serious about this. Well, at least I'll get a good cut of the pay and get out of the village. "Alright, I'll take it. I'm not transporting some plan to get us all killed right?"

Xaria chuckled. "How did you know?" She took a sealed envelope out of her desk and handed it to me. "Nope, just some high class documents."

I shrugged off my backpack and placed the envelope inside. "You know, I've always speculated why people don't go fill out a form and ask the ninjas for help with this sort of stuff. Why ask us?"

"There are usually two reasons why people come to us. One, they simply don't trust ninjas. As weird as that sounds some people live in villages where their shinobi just aren't reliable or trust worthy so they seek out an alternative to get their jobs done, which would be us. The second reason would be that they know they could possibly be wait-listed if the village is short on available ninjas," Xaria explained. "With this client it's a little bit of both."

"Interesting," I muttered. "What about in-village?"

"Same two reasons apply. Though our shinobi are reliable and trust worthy I guess not everyone sees it like that, but hey, I'm not complaining. I'm making enough money for myself and a five person safe."

Weird. Like Xaria said though, I won't complain because this is how I make money, but still…if you can't trust the ninjas in your village who can you trust? I thought. I shrugged and decided not to dwell on it any longer. "We'll I'm going to rest up and head out early morning."

"Sounds good, I expect you back in two weeks tops. Here's where you can meet Blade," She replied, handing me a piece of paper. "Stay safe, kid."

I placed the paper in back pocket of my shorts- flashing a reassuring smile. "Will do."

The next morning, after making sure Toshiro and Father had everything they needed to get by for the next two weeks; I headed out on my semi-solo courier mission. I could feel my fingers twitching with excitement but I had to keep my emotions under control. When I arrived at the main gate I flashed them my passport as I do every time I leave yet they still check to make sure it's me and I have authorization to leave the village. I'll always have the same mid-length curly black hair, dark brown eyes, and tanned skin.

"Have a good trip Yamaguchi," The gate keeper said, letting me go through the gate.

"Thanks."

And just like that I was outside on an adventure. I felt important- needed. I felt like without me, this mission couldn't be done properly. Though it was probably childish to think this way, I really didn't care. This is the closest thing to a real ninja mission I will ever get. I traveled down the dirt path, taking a break around noon, and setting back on my way. I looked up at the trees- their branches that ninjas could easily run through and get to their destination much quicker than I could. These were the moments I wish I was a ninja. As I thought about the shinobi life, the fight I had with my mother four years ago when I was twelve rang in my head.

"Kikyo, stop these silly fantasies of being some hero! You will never be a ninja and I will never allow you to become one!" Mother had shouted at me when I told her I got a job at Xaria Delivery the day prior. "I know what they do at that place and I will have none of that in my house!"

"Mom, I'm not trying to be a hero," I tried to explain. "I'm just trying to help my village."

"Then be a model citizen and stay out of the way." Her face was twisted in an ugly scowl, her eyes flashing with rage. I couldn't tell if it was the influence of the alcohol or not.

"I'm sorry mom," I replied. I slung my back pack over my shoulders and put my shoe on. "I can't just say out of the way. I'm a girl of action, I don't know how to sit down and let things roll."

"Where are you going?"

"Well I have my first job tomorrow, then training with Xaria. As of right now I'm staying with Dad. He probably could use the money I make much more then you, especially since he as Toshiro."

"You're…you're leaving me?" The hurt in her voice almost made me regret my decision, but I stayed strong.

"Yes, I tried to stay as long as I can, but the money I'm making can't go to feeding your habit." I opened the door, looking back at her shocked and enraged face. "Mom…I know it may not seem like it, but…I love you."

"Get out of my house! I never want to see you again," She screamed throwing the closet object that she could get to at me- it was a hard cover book that I easily dodged. "You ungrateful little girl- fine! Go out and be the hero! Go out and get yourself killed!"

I paused, letting the summer air rush over me. I don't think she'll ever understand that I'm not looking to be a hero, I'm no Naruto Uzumaki. All I want to do is do my part for my village and until I gain enough experience to do more meaningful missions for Xaria this is the best I can do. I, Kikyo Yamaguchi, am a girl of action and refuse to sit still while there is always something to be done.

[Author's Corner]

~Hope everyone who read enjoyed! This is my first serious OC-centric story. The cannon characters will show up, just be patient. The current time is set in Shippuden after the fight with Pain.

~I've always wanted to know about those who where afraid of being a ninja then realized too late that they wanted to become a shinobi. I also wanted to explore civilian life

~Due to there not being a big paragraph about Kikyo's physical appearance in the story I'll give you here description here:

Name: Kikyo Yamaguchi

Age: 16

Appearance: Kikyo is around 5'5-5'6 with a lean, athletic frame due to the training she has received through out the years. Her hair is black and curly to mid back that is usually held in a messy bun while on missions/ doing jobs, while it is down when she is in casual clothes- her eyes dark brown. Her skin has a natural tan to it, though also long hours in the sun has left her skin tanned.

Attire: While on missions or jobs she wears black shorts- her weapon pouch on her resting on her hips. Her top is a red tank top with a grey pull over hood on top. Her normal day to day attire changes though it normally is the same as her mission clothes just different colors or she may put on a dress

Family: Mother, Father, Little brother (Toshiro; age 10)

~ I normally don't like making an out line for a character like this, but I find this much cleaner then sticking a whole paragraph full of description in the middle of the story. I can also do this for Xaria, Blade, and Akane if anyone wants me to!