Sexy
AUTHORS NOTE: Yay! It's the follow-up to LAX Boys! This takes place in an all muggle setting, everyone is a muggle. Also, this is based on a true event. Again, I emphasize the word BASED, not what actually happened. And math was actually my least favourite class last year because I didn't like my teacher and then there were also the LAX boys. I really hate LAX boys. They're really annoying . There are these especially annoying LAX boys that were on my team in school last year. Well, not team but thats what it was called. It was like there were three different sections of people for the entire grade, and a "team" was what they called each section. Each section had different teachers to teach the basic classes. All of the LAX boys were in accelerated math except for one. There were four or five in all of the really annoying ones. I would say that LAX boys are the bane of my existence, but that's too dramatic, even for me. Wow, enough rambling. I'm done now. Oh and I realise that in LAX Boys, Lily says that she has five friends, but only lists three. Sorry about that! But the other friends are Johnny O., and Mary MacDonald. And I apologise if the Johnny O./Johnny N. thing gets confusing.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything of the Harry Potter series. The books belong to J.K. Rowling & the movies belong to Warner Bros.
WARNINGS: Language. Also there is a bit of gayness on Sirius's part, and hints of RLSB, so if you don't like, don't read. But trust me, it's not a lot.
I, Lily Evans, am smart. I'm probably the top girl in our year in academics. My favourite class this year is accelerated math, but accelerated math is also the class where all the LAX boys are. Lucky for me, math is also the class with Johnny Nelson, my crush. We used to be friends, but then I kind of accidentally insulted his crush. I feel pretty bad about it now, but they dated and she broke up with him, and now we're slowly becoming friends again. Yahoo! Then, in the class there's also Johnny Olsen, my ex-boyfriend and now my best guy friend. He's actually a lacrosse boy, or so he tells me(he's a track boy, too. You know how they're pretty spazzy…). He say that he only plays lacrosse over the summer, two towns over. No one believes him though. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.
Now, one disaster waiting to happen is when the math teacher has to go make copies during class. AND when the packets she's making are TEN FRICKEN' PAGES LONG! FOR OVER THRITY KIDS! Why, oh why won't the universe be kind to me? Just this once? Please?
"Hey, Evans!" I hear Sirius call. Damn, no such luck. I ignore him and turn to Johnny O.
"Hi, Johnny." I say.
"Hmm?" he says.
"You know, I really hate LAX boys. Don't you?" I ask.
"Umm… I am a lacrosse boy, remember?"
Oh, right. Damn.
"Well, they are, aren't they?" I asked him again.
"Umm… I guess?" Oh, Johnny. Always the wimpy one. Agreeing with others.
"I know, right?" I say, horrendously peppy. I hope that Sirius got the message.
WAIT. HOLD ON. DID I JUST USE BLACK'S FIRST NAME! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! HIS NAME IS BLACK! NOT SIRIUS, BLACK! Whoof, that's better. Oh yay! Black isn't talking to me! Thank you Universe!
I thank the Universe again and again as I turn around in my seat.
That's when I hear it.
"Hey, Evans!"
Damn you, Universe.
"Yes, Black?" I say, throwing as much malice, menace, and malevolence as I can into those two words, while making myself look completely sweet and innocent. Which, of course, I'm not.
Then, he giggled. Actually giggled. Not chuckled. Not snickered. Giggled. My one thought? Wow, he's going to be gay. Then I imagined him kissing Remus. Wow, they'd look hot together!
NO LILY! NO CALLING MARAUDERS HOT! Even if they are… STOP IT BRAIN! MARAUDERS ARE NOT HOT! Right, the Marauders are not hot, the Marauders are not hot, the Marauders are hot. URGH, DAMMIT!
I imagine I must have had sort of a dreamy/annoyed look, so of course Sirius just had to say something.
"What are you fantasizing about over there, Evans? Is it moi?" He says dramatically, holding his hands to his heart. Gaa-aay. I roll my eyes in response. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cuz Johnny boy here called you sexy."
I ponder the thought for a moment, trying not to think. "Okay." I say, then I turn around in my seat, my face starting to turn a horrible shade of red. I hear them laugh behind me, well, not Johnny N., of course because I bet his face is burning up too.
Then, help his poor soul, Johnny O. Says, "What?" Poor, poor boy. He must have heard his name, and thought they were talking about him.
"Nothing." I mutter, not facing him because if I did, I would also have to face Sirius Black and Johnny N.
"What?" he asks again.
Reluctantly, I turn around in my seat. "Just forget about it." I say through my teeth, still hearing the LAX boys' laughter, avoiding eye contact with them. Instead what I do is look out of the corner of my eye at Johnny N. He's laughing, but his face and neck are completely red, like he's trying to laugh off the embarrassment. Sigh. I know how he feels. My face is probably just as red, if not redder than his. And trust me, his face is very red.
"Yeah, Johnny." Sirius says through his laughter. "Just forget about it." I grit my teeth.
"Lily!" Johnny N. says to me between laughs. "Your face is completely red!"
As if yours isn't…
But I just laugh with him, my face probably turning even redder, my laugh more like a strangled choke. I can not even put into words how embarrassed I am right now. I wish I could die from mortification, then I would never have to hear the patented(yes, he actually patented it, though really, he just barks like a giant dog) "Black Laugh" again. Then, I mentally yell at the Universe again.
DAMN YOU UNIVERSE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU FRICKEN' WANT ME TO DIE OF SHAME HERE? SIRIUSLY! OH HOT DAMN! I MEAN NO! SCRATCH THE HOT! I MEANT SERIOUSLY! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! HOLY FRICKEN' SHIT!
DING! DING! DING!
Oh, thank god! The bell has rung! Woohoo! Thank you Universe! Yay! The Universe finally is being nice to me! The teacher isn't even back yet! Could my luck be any better? Well, actually it could be a lot better but anyway, this is a day to celebrate! Plus Johnny N. Called me sexy! Woohoo!(even though he doesn't know that I'm actually ecstatic that he called me that! CELEBRATION!
At least, that's what I thought before going on my email this afternoon.
I had gotten a new message from . Just. My. Luck.
This is what it said:
Hey Evans!
That was a fun math class today, wasn't it? Your face was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen since the time James wore a bunny suit for Halloween one year and people threw carrots at him(that was last year- and too bad I was dressed as a carrot…). Ah, good times… But anyway, back to business. This is about the reason why James didn't take part-
Now that I think about it, it is kind of suspicious that James Potter didn't help in torturing me today. Well… not actually torturing…
-it was because he was taping the conversation…
GAY CARROT SAY WHAT?
…and now we have it on video, and Remus edited it for us. Now, it shows your red face rewinding again and again like five times! But not Johnny's. We wouldn't do that to the boy. By the way, he didn't actually know about this. But we did trick him into calling you sexy… Kk! So buh-bye! Here's the video! But don't worry. We won't show anyone as long as you do some things for us.
LOL!
Sirius
Oh. My. Effin'. God. Holy shit mother fuck oh. Hot. Damn.
This is not happening to me. This is a dream. I am sleeping. La la la la la… I pinch myself. Oh fuck. I felt pain. SHIT! No, I am dreaming! La la la… la la la… This is just a really bad nightmare… la la la… wake up, Lily. Wake up… Oh, crap. Why am I not waking up? Was that not a dream- wait- a NIGHTMARE?
I'm panicking. Panicking. Oh fuck. I've got a heat flash. Now I'm hyperventilating. Now I'm in a fetal position rocking back and forth on my bed.
Why am I panicking, you may ask. It's because being blackmailed by the Marauders is never EVER something that you want to happen to you. It is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you- in your entire LIFE.
As I fall asleep in a state of shock, I think one thought: Hmm. Johnny actually called me sexy…
I wake up to my phone buzzing, signaling that I had gotten a text. I was much more calm than I had been before, well as calm as you can be when you were about to be blackmailed by the Marauders. If you question the horrible-ness, then let me tell you, it a damn miracle that I'm not at least hyperventilating right now.
Hmm… It's a text from Johnny N.
I open it and smile, just a little.
Hey, Lily. You know, you are pretty sexy. Pretty pretty too :)
He had called me pretty.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, there will be more. The next few will probably be all in a story together. They'll be about the Marauders blackmailing Lily. And let me say that this is before James has any serious feelings for Lily, right now she's just a fun girl to mess around with. And please send me ideas! Because right now I honestly have no idea what I'm going to have the Marauders make Lily do. Thank you! Oh and if anyone from my school reads this and is offended, I really am sorry. The sports thing isn't actually true for everyone on every sport, just a few people on that sport that I based it after.