hiiiii

confession time i am like the biggest eremika shipper you will ever meet

but i have a headcanon that while eren is struggling with accepting the fact that he's in love with mikasa he fucks his heichou

yay

ERERIIIIIII is my life

or riren

whatever

i may or may not make this longer, depending on the response. not really a story. just some smut.

enjoy!

(also if you review PLEASE don't put any manga spoilers in I haven't read the manga please and thank you love forever)

xoxo

1

He was sitting at the wooden table, with a cup of tea beside him. Every few moments he would stop what he was doing, grab the cup by its rim, and bring it to his lips. It was revitalizing with each sip, especially in the middle of the night when he was tired and wanted to sleep but couldn't. So there he was, having trekked from his room upstairs to this makeshift conference room that was empty at the moment. He was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, a line of daggers laid out on the table. He was going from one dagger to the next, cleaning with his special handkerchief until each one was absolutely spotless. Of course he would have to clean them again tomorrow, but cleaning them was a way of distracting himself when sleep refused to do it for him. So he cleaned and drank his tea and relished in the silence—broken only by the raindrops pounding outside.

Until there was a blood-curdling scream. He blinked, froze, listened more closely. But he didn't hear anything else. The echoes of that scream, which had seemed muffled and distant, yet so close, were still reverberating in his ears. With a sigh, he put down his dagger and the handkerchief, finished his cup of tea, and then brewed a second one. But he didn't drink it. He knew exactly where the scream had come from. He grabbed the cup of tea and walked out of the room, leaving his daggers there on the table. He made his way through the labyrinthine halls of this abandoned castle while he bemoaned his subordinates' lack of cleaning abilities, until he reached the stairwell down to the basement. Being careful not to spill the tea, he lit the candle at the top of the stairs, held it in his free hand, and walked down the stairs. There was a single closed door at the bottom. He didn't bother knocking before opening it because even if the person on the other side had told him not to come in, he would've gone in anyway.

The room was completely dark. The candle he was holding became its only illumination. As he closed the door behind him, he heard heavy breathing, heavy enough to drown out the rain. Wordlessly, he stepped into the room and used the candle he had to light a lantern and a few more candles, making the room visible. It was lit from wall to wall, but in a dim, orange light. Bright enough that he could see everything clearly, but dark enough that it still felt like the middle of the night. It was a small, damp, cold room with nothing but a table and a bed in the corner. And in that bed, he saw exactly what he had been expecting: a boy, sitting up with the covers thrown to the floor, panting while sweat tarnished the sheets on which he lay. When the door closed with a soft click, the boy looked up, kept his hands on either side of his head. His eyes were wide in...fear?

No. That's not fear. That's more than fear.

His name was Eren.

"Heichou..." he murmured. His voice was broken and hollow. Levi walked over to the bed and held out the cup of tea.

"Here, drink this."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up—"

"You didn't wake me up. Drink the tea." Levi stared down into Eren's eyes—the blue, the green, the piercing eyes that were both innocent and filled with blood—unflinchingly until he finally took the tea with shaking hands. In fact, his entire body was trembling. Levi crossed his arms and watched him take a sip, watched the sweat roll down his face. There were countless scars on his right hand.

"Nightmares?" Levi asked after a few moments of silence. Eren nodded. His breathing was getting steadier as he stared blankly into his cup. Levi shrugged. "You'll get over them."

"That's what I keep telling myself, but it seems impossible," Eren murmured. "They keep getting worse and worse. I'd rather stay awake than go to sleep and deal with them."

"Don't be a fool. They're just dreams."

"Y-yeah. Maybe you're right..."

"Change out of that shirt, it's filthy," he ordered suddenly. Eren's nightshirt was sticking to his skin, as if the rain were inside this room rather than outside. Levi could hardly stand to look at it. "Hurry up, you're an eyesore in that thing."

"Yes, sir," Eren said. His voice was still shaky. He put the cup of tea on the table by his bed and, as Levi walked to the dingy closet on the other side of the room, lifted his shirt over his head. Standing over him by the bed, Levi was surprised at Eren's build—though he wasn't sure what he should have been expecting. It had always been obvious that Eren was not particularly muscular, but not particular scrawny, either. Now Levi saw that he had a few very defined muscles: his shoulders, his pectorals, the muscles of his back. But, all in all, Eren was rather skinny. Sitting on the bed, shirtless and sweating and still shaky, he looked very lost.

"How often do you have these dreams?" Levi asked. He dropped the shirt in between Eren's outstretched legs, then picked up the crumpled blankets from the floor.

"Not every night. But pretty close."

Eren picked up the shirt, but didn't put it back on. He just stared at it. Levi didn't bother giving him the blanket back, because he knew that Eren wouldn't be going back to sleep. So he spread it out, beat it against the floor a few times to get the dust out, folded it, and put it at the end of the bed. Then he sat down on it. He narrowed his eyes and, before Eren had a chance to say anything else or put on the shirt, grabbed him by the chin—Eren flinched at his touch, but didn't resist. Levi tilted Eren's face left, then right, examining every detail of his features.

"Your eyes are bloodshot," he said. "And your skin is hot. You're not getting enough sleep."

"I—"

"And you're not eating well, either. How do you expect to help anybody if you can't even stay healthy? For god's sake, Jaeger," Levi sighed. He could tell Eren was holding his breath. So he let go of him and crossed his arms again. At this point, he wasn't sure if anything he said would get to this kid. He had never really listened to anybody before. Perhaps Levi would have to give him another sound beating before he got the picture.

"Heichou, can I ask you something?"

"Mm?"

"You've been in the Scouting Regiment for a long time," Eren began. He still hadn't put on his shirt, and he was avoiding eye contact. Levi watched his face, his chest, rise and fall with his breaths. "How do you...I mean...how do you deal with it all?"

"Deal with it?"

"Yeah. It's..."

"Terrifying? Hopeless?" Levi finished. He didn't crack a smile, didn't even blink. "Well, most of the time, it is."

"That's what I mean. How do you deal with it?" Eren seemed to be regaining his energy, his voice rising, his cheeks getting flushed. "How do you get through every day knowing that you, that your loved ones, might not survive?"

"Listen to me, Jaeger. When you're in this kind of situation, you don't have the luxury of being afraid," Levi said. He couldn't say how many times he had this conversation within himself. "You don't have time to spare. You need to move forward without regrets and make the decisions that will get you where you need to go, even if your choices are difficult ones. It's not just your life on the line. So you deal with it by dealing with it."

He paused, noticed that Eren still wasn't looking him in the eye. Which was strange. Usually, Eren Jaeger was very good at looking people in the eye. So Levi grabbed his chin again and forced him to look into his eyes.

"Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

"I think so."

"No. You can't 'think' so. I told you, there's no time for indecision."

Eren blinked those eyes of his and kept holding his breath. Levi held his face there, trying to read him through the movements in his face, the ways his muscles tensed or the ways his lips twitched. Eren had always been a very easy person to read. He brought his face very close to Eren's, so close that he could see every droplet of sweat that gathered on his forehead and made its way down his red cheeks. Very easy to read, indeed.

But even Levi could not have predicted what Eren Jaeger did next.

He leaned forward, just a bit, and put his lips to Levi's. For a split second their lips barely touched, Levi's hand still grasping Eren's chin. But after that second, Eren pressed harder, smothered Levi's mouth with his own. Levi felt his eyes widen, felt his grasp on Eren's chin tighten, until he finally pulled away. The childish look on Eren's face had disappeared, replaced by the all-too-recognizable expression of determination that furrowed his brow and made his eyes shine. He stared at Levi wordlessly, still close enough that Levi could feel his breath. He hadn't noticed it before. But he noticed it now. It was very warm.

But Levi was Levi, and there was only one way for him to react to this.

He put one hand to Eren's bare chest, put his other arm against his neck, pinned him against the wall behind the bed. Pressed his forehead against Eren's and dug his arm in.

"What the hell was that, Jaeger?" he hissed. Eren bared his teeth—his expression was a combination of pain and resolve. He didn't respond. "Why did you kiss me?"

"You scare the shit out of me, Heichou," Eren finally said, his voice muffled by the pressure of Levi's arm against his throat. He couldn't move even an inch from Levi's grasp.

"What kind of justification is that, ah?"

"I don't have any justification," Eren replied. His voice was angry now, tense with all the emotions that he was hiding behind it. "I kissed you because I felt like I needed to kiss you." "You what?"

"You said it yourself. I don't have time for indecision."

Levi didn't respond. He couldn't. This kid, he was certain now, was certifiably insane. He had an ability, a rare ability that only very few people had, to do things that would make anybody else melt in fear. He could be so unbelievably stupid (who in their right mind would kiss Levi Ackerman without his permission?) but be unbelievably stupid in an admirable way. It made Levi's blood boil. He was brave—the kind of brave that was sure to get him killed. If not by a titan, then by Levi himself.

Of course, Levi was not one to get flustered easily. He was not stupid at all. He could predict what people wanted, what people needed, what people were thinking. Especially when it came to Eren Jaeger, boy who could become titan.

So, with his other arm still pinning Eren's neck to the wall, Levi ran his hand down Eren's chest. He moved it lower, lower, until he felt Eren's erection. Then he pressed his hand harder and watched Eren inhale a sharp breath and lean his head back against the wall.

"This is what you want then, Jaeger?" Levi murmured. He pressed again, moved his hand slightly upward, and Eren's entire body tensed. He grabbed at the sheets of the bed, shut his eyes, opened his mouth more widely. Levi almost smirked to himself. He moved his hand again—Eren was as hard as a rock now. A sound, a combination of a sigh and whimper, escaped from his open lips. "Huh, is this what you want?"

But, for the second time that night, Eren Jaeger did something that Levi hadn't predicted. He wrestled away from Levi's grasp, pushed against his chest until he was on his back, grabbed both of his wrists with one hand and pinned them over his head.

The strange thing was that Levi—regardless of how short he was—was infinitely stronger than Eren. Eren, of course, knew that perfectly. Levi could have easily maintained his grip, could have easily kept Eren from pinning him down on the bed like this.

And even he couldn't understand why he hadn't.

"That's not what I want," Eren said.

"Eren Jaeger," Levi replied, "you are the stupidest person I've ever met. What is it you want, then?"

Eren was staring down at him, his breathing erratic and his lips parted. Levi could practically hear his heartbeat. This kid was certainly amusing, he could give him that.

"I know why I kissed you now," Eren said. Levi wondered if he should break out of his grasp now. If he should knee Eren Jaeger in the stomach, give him a quick whack to the face, discipline him, and leave him. But his curiosity was piqued now and he wanted to know how this stupid kid had gathered enough courage to do one of the dumbest things a human being could do.

"Not because I scare the shit out of you?"

"Well, that, and..." Eren leaned down, and before Levi could process what was happening, slipped his hand beneath his shirt. "I wanted to know if you would kiss me back."

Eren's fingers moved against Levi's skin, up beneath the cloth of his shirt, traced the lines of his stomach and his chest. And somehow, that touch made every inch of Levi's skin hot, made him feel weak, as if he couldn't get Eren off even if he tried. Even if he wanted to. That touch, Eren's hand against his skin, his breath falling dangerously against his lips, made him feel like he was no longer himself. Like this crazy boy's eyes, this crazy boy's hands, this crazy boy's lips, had transformed him. He took in a deep breath as Eren's lips hovered above his. Levi's mind was clouded, no longer his own. There was something intangible about Eren Jaeger that made him forget what it meant to be himself. Or perhaps, it was something that reminded him. He wasn't really sure which.

But he wanted to find out. And he was intrigued. Eren had managed to make Levi very, very interested in this development.

"Why don't you try again, Jaeger," Levi said, "and see what happens?"

A dare. A gamble. An invitation to take the biggest risk of your life.

But you're used to taking risks, aren't you, brat?

There was a sense of hesitation when Eren kissed him again. His hand still there against Levi's bare chest, Levi's arms still pinned above his head, he put his lips very softly there. The strands of his brown hair fell down and brushed Levi's cheeks. For a few moments, Levi didn't move. He just felt that kiss—everything about it—and felt the heat spreading through his body from Eren's hand on his chest. Then, in a decision that was based more on instinct than anything else, Levi kissed Eren back. He tilted his chin up and opened his mouth, welcomed in the taste of Eren's lips. With this response, this green light, Eren stopped holding back.

Eren closed his eyes more tightly and slid his tongue in between Levi's open lips. He pressed his hand more tightly against Levi's chest, and Levi felt his body responding—felt his back arching and his mouth opening to welcome Eren inside. He was like an animal, breathing into Levi and running his hand up and down his chest and running his tongue along every inch of the inside of Levi's mouth. But, as passionate as he was, Levi was amused at how inexperienced he was. The kid was young. He had no idea what he was doing. He was working off instinct.

Eren pulled back for a moment, his entire body heaving with his breaths. He kept his lips hovering above Levi's, their edges brushing. Levi actually smiled then, mouth still open. As Eren pressed his forehead down to Levi's, Levi tilted his head up and ran his tongue, slowly and deliberately, along Eren's lower lip. Then he bit down on it gently, savored the sound and the feel of Eren's deep, quivering exhale. His eyes were still closed, but his muscles were beginning to relax a little bit. Levi took in a breath, and then let it out into Eren's parted lips. Eren, like a puppet with strings attached to Levi's fingers, crumpled forward. They were chest to chest now, he had let go of Levi's wrists, and Levi's lips were at his ear. He took his now free hands and ran them along the skin of Eren's back, as Eren kissed him desperately. Pushed his tongue deeper, opened his mouth wider, groaned with pleasure. As Levi stroked Eren's back, taking in the feel of his skin, he pushed his hips up against Eren's—felt a tremor run through his entire body.

When Levi did that, pressed his hips up, Eren opened his mouth and gasped softly. And Levi, amused and elated in a way he could not justify, saw this as the perfect opportunity. He flipped Eren over onto his back and was suddenly on top of him, his palms on Eren's bare chest as he sat up. Eren opened his eyes and stared up at him in surprise, mouth still open and chest still rising and falling. But, without a word, Levi dug his hips even deeper into Eren's. He gritted his teeth and a muffled moan escaped from between them. Eren raised his hips to meet Levi's. Levi felt the pleasure rising up, from his stomach to his chest to his throat and up through his parted lips in a moan of contentment.

"So this is what you want," he said, his voice gravelly and low. Then, moving his hips slightly right and slightly left, feeling Eren rising up beneath him, Levi took his shirt off and tossed it to the ground. Then he leaned down and, with his hands on Eren's hot cheeks, brought his lips to his ear. "Satisfied?"

He bit gently on the edge of Eren's ear, making him gasp again. Eren reached up and dug his fingers into Levi's back, pulled him down against him more tightly. Levi breathed out into his ear, and then traced its outline with his tongue. Gently, hovering like a feather. As passionate, as tough, as intense as Eren made himself out to be...in the end, he was still just a kid. Endlessly amusing to Levi, who, for some reason, was thriving off his steamy touch. Thriving off the way he moved, writhed, moaned when Levi blew into his ear. Levi rose up and looked into Eren's eyes with his own piercing ones. Their noses touched, their foreheads pressed against each other, the salt of their skin and their hair and their sweat mingling. Levi loved Eren's erratic breathing—the desperate clawing of his fingers on his back. His hands were still on Eren's face. Eren's eyes were still wide, as if this had suddenly developed into something he hadn't been expecting. Perhaps, Levi mused, Eren had been expecting his heichou to punch him in the face and lock him in the cellar. Perhaps he really, really hadn't expected him to rip off his shirt and devour him like a meal.

Levi took Eren's lips into his own, muffled his soft moans, explored everything with his nimble tongue. Eren, no doubt uncertain of what to do, welcomed him. Moved in beautiful rhythm, let himself be led. Levi stroked his cheeks for a few moment, to feel the warmth emanating from them, and then moved his hands up until they were buried in Eren's hair. Then he decided that he wanted to hear him more. So he lifted his mouth from Eren's eager one, hovered above them for a few moments, before moving them to the side of his neck. Eren leaned his head back against the mattress of the bed, eyes still wide open, as Levi breathed out against the tender skin of his neck. He pressed his lips harder, and then put his tongue against the skin, sucked in. Eren's back arched just slightly, his fingers dug in deeper. As Levi traced patterns, circles, with his tongue, moved his lips and breathed out, Eren closed his eyes and let the stifled moans on his lips escape. He was releasing himself.

There's a good boy.

You wanted this, didn't you?

Levi used his tongue to make a trail, down from his neck to his chest. He moved slowly, relishing in every second and every breath. And as his lips pressed down against Eren's bruised chest, clasped around the area of his nipple, he moved his hands down to the rim of Eren's underwear.

"Heichou...!"

He gently moved his hand down into the cloth of his underwear, and felt him there. He breathed out again as he grabbed him, and Eren let out a groan. The sweat was still pouring down his face.

"You still never answered my question, brat," Levi murmured against his skin. Eren groaned again, grasped desperately at the tendrils of Levi's hair.

"Yes...I—I did..."

"Bullshit."

Levi moved his hand up and savored the pain from how Eren pulled his hair. His breathing was irregular, his chest rising and falling in unpredictable patterns, his voice lost in pleasure. At least, Levi assumed that it was pleasure. He moved his hand again and let his tongue sit on Eren's chest. After a few moments, Levi lifted his hand and sat up. Eren, still panting, sat up on his elbows with fluttery eyelids and parted lips.

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked again. "Why do you want this? What could you have to gain?"

Eren looked away for a moment, and he was starting to regain himself. Little by little. Levi sat back, until Eren was sitting all the way up and Levi's legs were around his waist, his hands supporting himself on the bed. Eren finally looked back at him.

"Can I ask you a question first, Heichou?"

Levi was silent. A green light.

"Why...why did you kiss me back?"

Levi pushed himself forward, wrapped his legs around Eren more tightly, grabbed his chin aggressively. He brought Eren's face down until their lips were nearly touching and Levi couldn't tell the difference between their breaths. Eren closed his eyes.

"Why, indeed?" he murmured. "It's something about your eyes, to be honest."

He opened them in response to that. But Levi wasn't done. Even though, if asked in any other situation, he would have denied wanting to kiss Eren. Wouldn't have known how to answer the question, why?

"Something about how stupidly brave you are, I think. You amuse me, Jaeger."

"I'm really lost," Eren sighed. Levi was watching his lips moving, watching the words leave them like rain drops. "I don't really know what I'm doing."

"I know you don't."

"But you've been showing me," he continued. "When you kicked the shit out of me, when you let me join your squad, when you brought me here. Even just now, when you brought down the tea because you heard me screaming. I feel like...I feel like you're looking out for me. Not just my powers, but me."

Levi brought his face slightly closer. Eren opened his lips again.

"I admire you. I respect you. I'm terrified of you," Eren whispered. "...And I want you. Every last inch of you."

Before Levi could do it himself, Eren leaned forward and touched his lips—touched them just barely—to his.

"You want to fuck me because you admire me?" he said, his voice muffled. Even now, Eren was so amusing. So stupid. So brave. As he nodded slowly, he brought his hands up and put them at Levi's neck.

"Why do you want to fuck me?" he asked in between his kisses. Levi almost burst out laughing. But, in the end, he didn't even crack a smile.

"Because you want me to fuck you." Eren's tongue on his lips tasted very dangerous, made his own breathing dangerously hollow. And he felt Eren smile then. Perhaps he was satisfied with that answer—or perhaps it was the exact opposite. Levi didn't care. He just knew he couldn't hold back much longer. Without warning, he pushed Eren back onto the bed and kissed him, hungrily, pushing his tongue between his lips.

"All right, Jaeger," he said, pulling back for a moment. Eren's hands were at his waist, gently pulling down on his trousers. "I'll fuck you. And you can fuck me. Just let me give you some advice."

He grabbed Eren's wrists and pinned them up against the bed.

"If I were you, I would try to keep my distance. Getting sentimental is dangerous."

"Keep my distance?" Eren blinked his hypnotizing eyes. "Heichou, I can be really stupid sometimes, but I'm not an idiot. You shouldn't give me advice that even you can't follow."

Of course, Eren was right. Levi had never been good at keeping his emotions at bay.

"Then pretend you're not getting sentimental. It'll make the pain easier to bear."

But he had always been good at making it look like he was keeping his emotions at bay. Had always been good at putting on a show. Because for a long time now, he had understood that showing one's emotions was absolutely pointless—no matter how painful it was, no matter how terrifying things were, it was always better to put on a show. To hide everything. Pretending there was no pain sometimes made it feel like there wasn't any.

He kissed Eren again before he could say anything else. Ripped his underwear off and tossed it to the floor, slid out of his own. Levi was ready to completely and utterly devour him now, accepting that he wanted him, too. He kissed him for something other than amusement, for a reason besides wanting to see how far the kid could take this. They kissed ravenously, closed out the space between their bodies, writhed together on the bed. Then, sweat running down his skin in rivulets, Levi pushed himself into him. Eren gasped, stared up at the ceiling with his mouth agape, as Levi clenched his jaw and felt the tremor rush through his body. Pushed harder and heard Eren's cries, while sweat poured down Levi's face.

When he was done, he leaned forward, and Eren wrapped his arms around his neck. There was something very strange, suddenly something very innocent, about that touch. He pulled Levi down against him and pressed his lips to Levi's temple. Levi thought that he felt tears on Eren's eyelashes, but he didn't look. Their cheeks were pressed together, and he could feel Eren's breath on his ear. Slowly becoming steady.

"Thank you for the tea, Heichou," he said softly. Levi released the tension in his muscles and let himself fall against Eren, let himself rest there against his body. "Thank you for everything."

Levi closed his eyes and wondered how he'd gotten himself into this mess.

"Don't thank me yet."