The Zelda Characters Go To McDonald's For Lunch

by HyrulesOneHope

This is Episode 2 of the Meal Series. Ok, first of all, who the heck picked McDonalds? That's pretty lame. Second of all... sigh... you'd think they would have learned from last time... read on!

The Zelda Characters Go to McDonalds (For Lunch)

Written by Austin Hale -

-Link is at his new computer exploring the internet-

Link: Finally, we have a good computer to explore the internet on. Look at these Zelda humors, aren't they great?

Zelda: Um... I still don't understand why you just threw out the other computer. -Zelda looks outside and sees a beat and broken computer-

L: Yeah, well let's just say Dampé was low on money and couldn't buy a decent computer that could actually tell you when you have mail.

Broken Computer: You've got mail!

L: YOU FRICKIN' LIAR!!! -Link runs outside, grabs a deku stick and starts whacking the computer-

C: YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!! YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!! YOU'VE Gooot Maaiiilll... -short circuit- BOOM!!!!

L: Hey, it was right! -looks at his mailbox and sees mail inside- Oh well.

Z: Link! What's your problem? Do you want to see another Psychiatrist?

L: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Z: Ok. Hey, let's all go out to lunch! This story needs a plot anyways.

L: Yeah! But where?

Z: Um... um... um... eh... how about...

Navi: Hey. Listen! I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I think we should go out to lunch at McDonalds!

L: Shut up you dumb fairy! NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!

Z: -whispers- I think the Deku Tree gave it to you because she was lonely.

L: Figures. He's a tree. I know! Let's go to McDonalds!!

Z: Great idea Link! You always come up with the best ideas! I'll go call everyone up.

-couple minutes later-

Z: All done. Let's go. We don't want to be late like last time.

L: Hold on, this humor is so good. It is called Zelda Characters Play Hide and Seek! The pictures on here are so funny! There's this cute girl! She kinda looks like you, only without the ugly green eyebrows.

Z: LINK!!!

L: Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Let's go.

-They get to McDonalds. Everybody's there except for skull kid, again-

Ganondorf: Of all the places, why the crap are we at McDonalds?!

L: Shhhhh, sh, sh, sh, sh.

G: But I don't see why—

L: Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, shhhh… It's okay.

Darunia: Where the heck is Skull Kid?

Nabooru: Let's just eat without him.

All: Yeah, ok, Aw man! -everyone looks at Rauru-

Impa: Do you want him to be here!?

R: Uh, not really--

I: THEN SHUT UP FAT BOY!! -everyone gasps, Rauru starts crying-

-3 hours later-

Skull Kid: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUYS!!!! Guess what I'm wearing!

Darunia: Gee, let me guess, um... Maybe... -just for those people out there that are kinda slow, he's being sarcastic- ...the Majora's Mask suit?

Skull Kid: No, HAHA! I'm not wearing anything!

All: EW! GROSS! TURN IT OFF! YOU'RE BLINDING ME!!

-waitress comes-

W: Hi everyone. Can I take your orders?

Ganondorf: Yes, you are capable of taking our orders.

-everyone's silent. Cricket chirping-

W: Anyways, who's first?

L: Me! Um... I'll have the Lon Lon Beef & Broccoli. And could we get those kiddie color paper thing-a-mick-diddlies for those two?

SK: I WANT A MIGHTY KIDS MEAL!!!!

W: Ok, you want any fries with that?

L: Oh I do!

Z: You idiot! You're allergic to potatoes!

L: WHY ARE THERE POTATOES IN EVERYTHING I LIKE!?!?

Impa: Because you're white.

Z: I'll have the Cucco Nuggets. Those are really yummy!

L: Just where are the nuggets on a Cucco???

Rauru: Can I have the--

G: I will take the Monster Mac.

R: Yes and I would like the--

Malon: You're on, Ganondorf! I'll have the super duper, major, extremely large, humungous, supreme, huge,

Rauru: and I would like the--

M: colossal, enormous, massive, gargantuan, gigantic, and big Cucco Sandwhich! With ketchup.

Rauru: Oh for the love of Nayru! CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY APPLESAUCE & MEDICINE!

W: Actually I was gonna give you a large size of fries that lies from my eyes with the guys that kill flies, the fly that always dies, with apple pies and a hamburger, FOR FREE!, but you didn't want it so too bad.

G: No fair! I always eat more than you Malon! I'll take everything you got!!

M: Is that a challenge? I want an eating contest, right here, right now!

Mido and skull kid: Where's the menu? We can't see over the table.

W: Do you need booster seats?

M & SK: NOOO!!!!

W: I'll go prepare your contest.

-2 hours later-

Mido: Finally!

W: On your marks, get ready, get set, AND... brace yourself... wait, and... GO!!!

All: EAT!! EAT!! EAT!!EAT!!EAT!!EAT!!EAT!!

-they tie- All: AAAaaaawwe

W: Ok, I'll come back with all of your orders in a few minutes.

Darunia: Who's gonna pay for that?

-everyone shrugs-

-1 hour later-

L: So much for fast food!

Z: Don't blame me, you're the one that picked this restaurant.

L: Well excuuuuuuuse me, princess! But I believe you're the one that said it was a good idea! -coughs- stupid Navi that I stole the idea from. AHEM. Excuse me.

-electricity goes out-

Intercom: Attention! We didn't pay our bills because we're cheap and--

-Manager in background, whispering, though everyone can hear him- No you idiot! Tell them that Ronald McDonald was chewing on our wires, which burnt the circuit, and that explains what pi equals, which tells what rhymes with orange, that describes why 7/11 has locks on their doors when they're open 24/7, which justifies that Wal-Mart does not lower prices everyday or else it would all be free! SAY THAT OR YOU'RE FIRED!

Guy on intercom: Um, we're having trouble, and... we'll fix it as soon as possible. Thank you.

-microphone is still on. In background...-

Boss: YOU IDIOT! STUPID, LITTLE…WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN 2 ME?

GoI: OW! I'M SORRY! PLEASE STOP! OH YOU'RE KILLING ME! WAAAAAAA!

L: That's not fair! I already paid!

Nabooru: Go show them who's boss!

All except for Zelda: YEAH!!!

Z: NO LINK!

-Link goes up to front counter-

L: Hey! Are you the Manager?

Boss: Yes. Is there a problem?

L: No everything's cool, you know. YES THERE'S A PROBLEM YOU IDIOT!!! THE ELECTRICITY IS OUT, THERE NOT GIVING ME BACK MY MONEY, WE'RE NOT GETTING OUR FOOD AND--

B: SHUT UP ALREADY, Geez! What are you gonna do, sue?

L: As a matter of fact I think I will!

B: HAHA. You idiot you can't. It's a restaurant.

L: AND?!

B: Um... it's a restaurant! Didn't you hear me you ugly bum!?! Or are you pointy little ears having trouble hearing?

L: I wouldn't be talking, you're so ugly, when you where serving food thru the drive thru and looked outside, the police arrested you for mooning!

B: Well you're so dumb, that when you ordered a cheeseburger from here, you said, "Hold the cheese."

L: Well you're so dumb you got locked in here and starved!

B: You're so dumb that when I said the drinks were on the house, you asked me for a ladder!

L: You're so dumb that when I said its chilly outside, you ran outside with a spoon.

B: You're so dumb that you went to a restaurant to get sleep.

L: YOU SERVE FOOD LIKE A GIRL!!

-everyone gasps--scene showing Zelda washing dishes-

Z: Thanks a lot Link.

All: Yeah!!

-camera zooms out to reveal everyone washing dishes-

L: IT WASN'T MY FAULT! YOU GUYS MADE ME!

Z: Like, whatever!

Ganon: Hey guys, this work is making me hungry. What do you say after we're done we--

Impa: DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT QUESTION!!!

Malon: That was a close one.

Ganon: LET'S GET SOME DINNER!!!

-Everyone tackles and beats up Ganondorf-

WiLl ThE zElDa ChArAcTeRs EvEr Go OuT tO dInNeR? iS gAnOnDoRf AlIvE? (Well, we really don't care). DId SoMeOnE aCtUaLlY wIn ThE aS-mUcH-aS-yOu-CaN-eAt CoNtEsT? wHy Am I mAkInG eVeRy OtHeR lEtTeR cApItAlIzEd? DoEs ThAt HaVe SoMeThInG tO dO wItH tHe ElEcTrIcItY gOiNg OuT? ThE aNsWeRs WiLl Be ReVeAlEd SoOn. Or WiLl ThEy?