Losing Life

She knew she could have it all. Everything she had ever dreamed. He knew he could lose everything. And to be honest, he didn't really know how he felt about it. Of course he didn't want to lose her but he wanted the best for her and if it was what she wanted then who was he to stop her. Also it meant she could leave town and that was what he wanted. That was all he'd wanted.

It was difficult, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave with her. It would have made things simple if he could. They would leave and get there happy ending. But things were never going to be that simple. It never was. This was Shane we are talking about. Shane "The Asshole" Collins. Slacker, womaniser, and all around badass. That was the rep he had made. That was what people knew him as. And that was who he was. Well, had been. Before he met Claire he had nothing. No family. No job. He would just lay about playing on his x box or PS3, maybe do a couple odd jobs for people around town for cash. Just so he could make rent. If he didn't make enough, he'd call his dad to send him money.

Now he was holding down a full time job. Going steady in a committed relationship with the girl of his dreams. He was even thinking about the future. He was getting fed up with only chopping meat and earning practically zero. He wanted something better, something he would enjoy doing. Problem was, he didn't know what? He couldn't do much, especially since he'd only just got his high school diploma. He just didn't know what to do.

Six months previous...

As the day went by, he got more and more unhappy. Claire knowing him as only she did, picked up on his mood. 'What's up babe.' She went and sat by him on the couch. Without thought he put his arm around her and she cuddled up against him. He liked how natural and easy it felt to be with her. When he had dated other girls it was never like that. Most of the time alone was spent snogging or doing other things. With Claire it just happened. They could sit and talk, or not. He would always try and be home for dinner, especially on the nights it was her turn to cook. He loved Claire's cooking. 'Oh, nothing, just thinking.' She turned to face him. 'Really. Well, thanks for the warning.' She shouted out to eve and Michael, their other room mate and landlord. 'Hey, guys. Shane's thinking again.' He knew she was only joking. Eve walked in the room and turned to face them. 'Oh no. That's not good. Better grab what we can and evacuate. Don't want to be around when the house blows now, do we?' Like Claire, he knew she was only joking. They always prodded and poked each other but they were like brother and sister and that's what they do. 'Ha ha. Not everything goes bad when I think. I do have my moments.' Eve was starting to walk away. 'Yeh, it does.'

'Blow me, Gothica.'

'Sorry, not my job.' She finally walked up stairs he turned back to see a very flushed Claire. She was just so cute when she blushed. He loved it. 'Anyway what were you thinking about.' Claire asked him, obviously trying to think of something else. 'Work,' he bent down to whisper in her ear 'and you.' Her blush immediately spread and she was utterly adorable to him. Smiling he bent his head and gave her a kiss. He intended it to be a light kiss, but she had other ideas. As the kiss deepened she put a touch of longing, a silent, I want you, into it. They broke the kiss, both needing air. 'So, Eve is away picking up dinner. We have about thirty minutes until she gets back, want to fool around.' She asked him. He got up off the couch, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, running for the stairs. Her sequels of delight following in there wake.. He pushed open the door to his room and threw her onto the bed. Climbing on top of her, he started kissing her again.

When Eve returned from her trip to pick up dinner she walked in to find the living room empty. She walked into the kitchen and found her boyfriend, Michael, sitting reading a paper, drinking from an opaque sports bottle. 'Hey, got the food. You wanting yours?' Michael was a vampire and although he could still eat food, there still came times where he just left it. 'Yeah sure. Why don't you get the other two while I get this stuff ready.' he told her. 'You are wonderful.' she went over and gave him a quick kiss before going out the kitchen. Since they were not in the living room, they had to be upstairs. She went up and decided to try Shane's room first as that was closer than Claire's. As she walked in she found them in the middle of a healthy snogging session, half naked lying on the bed. 'Oh god, sorry. Em... food's downstairs.' She walked back out of the room. Oh, my, god. She had just walked in on her two friend getting it on. She'd been lucky so far not to have walked in on anything like that before. But now. She just couldn't get the picture out of her mind. She walked back into the kitchen. The minute she walked in Michael noticed her expression. 'What happened.' He saw her physically shudder before she answered him. 'They were on the bed, half naked.' She shuddered again. He walked over to her and enveloped her into a hug. She relaxed against him. Shane and Claire finally appeared fully clothed but with the tell tale signs of having just had a healthy snog. 'Oi, you pair. What did you two do to her?' Indicating to Eve who was still in his arms. 'Nothing. We were perfectly safe in the bedroom. She was the one who didn't knock and just walked in. It's her own fault she saw what she did.' Shane told him. 'Hey, look on the bright side. It could have been worse. We could have been doing a lot more than what we were.' At the mention of this Eve paled and shuddered again. 'Ok can we stop tormenting Eve. Lets just eat and move on.' They all sat down and ate there food saying nothing except Eve turning to Michael to say, 'don't think I'm going to forget you stitching me up earlier. Believe me it's going to cost.'

After dinner Eve and Michael were planning to go out as a new film that Eve was dying to see was playing, this left Claire and Shane with an empty house. They decided to just sit and watch a movie. They both had to get up early the next day. They still sat cuddled up on the sofa having the occasional kiss when neither of them was interested enough in the movie. To be honest Shane wasn't paying any attention to the movie. Between watching Claire watching it, and thinking about work and what to do, he couldn't be bothered to watch it himself.

When it finished Claire noticed that he hadn't been paying all that much attention to things. 'Ok what's wrong. You're distracted tonight. What's bothering you?' He just looked at her considering if he would tell her. He knew he would but did he want to tell her now. Well, he wasn't getting anywhere with it. Might as well ask. She may have a solution in her incredibly cute, big brain. 'Well, I've been getting fed up with work. It was alright in the beginning, but I just feel I could be doing something that gets good money and that I enjoy. But I just don't know what to do.' She listened and took it all in. She spotted him fiddling with the games control when it hit her. 'Shane?' He looked up at her. 'Look at what you have in your hands.' He suddenly became very confused. 'What? My controller. What's that got to do with anything.' She expected this. 'Well gaming is a passion of yours, right. And to be truly happy with everything you need to turn your passion and what you are good at into your profession. Why don't you do something like game design or games programming.' He took a minute to think it through. He wasn't going to just rush into anything. He liked the idea, but was there anything more to it. 'Won't I need qualifications for that?' She took a moment to consider this too. 'Well, you could apply to the university. It would mean you could get the chance to see more of me, and it'd be a great way to show people that you're moving on and have really changed. The old you would never go to college. The way I see it there isn't a downside.' When he thought this over, he realised that Claire was right. He could see her more, people could see that he wasn't what they thought he was, and he would be getting the qualifications he needed to get a better job. Except, there was one fatal flaw in the plan. Going to the university would mean seeing Monica. 'Well there is one downfall. And a pretty big one, for me. Monica.' She seemed to be stumped about this and disheartened until, 'wait, how about if you think of being there a way to annoy her even more. Especially if you are going to be with me. It'll drive her crazy. And there will be nothing she can do about it.' After a minute he thought her way of thinking was genius. 'Brilliant. Well, I think since we have it all figured out, let get things started. You could pick up an application when you're at school tomorrow, can't you?' She smiled brightly. 'Absolutely.'

They couldn't be bothered moving from the couch and fell asleep together. Only the next morning when they were woken up by Eve clomping down dressed and ready did they move. 'Morning. What are you two doing sleeping there. You have beds.' Shane groggy with sleep decided to give her his usual two fingered salute. 'Yeah. We know, but we were up talking and fell asleep.' 'Really? What about?' Shane was kind of thrown back by the question. 'Eh. Why is it any of your business. And it's about me thinking of going back to college to train to do game design or programming, not sure yet. Looking into it though. If you must know.' She just stood there stock still. Blinked a few times before. 'Holy shit. Really?' Michael came down the stairs at this point. 'Did you hear that. Can you believe it.' Eve turned to look at Michael before practically screaming. 'Yeah I did. You serious, cause I can't see why you'd do it.' Michael asked him. He knew it sounded wrong but there just wasn't any other way to put it. Shane knew this and wasn't offended. 'Yeah. Claire and I were talking about it, cause i'm getting fed up with work. At first I thought my boss and that were cool and everything but lately they have been getting on my nerves. Claire came up with the idea that if I want to do something then I have to already enjoy what I do. Like when I took my job, I did it cause I like food. But I don't love food. I do, however, love games and gaming. So we decided that I could apply to the university and train to be a games programmer or do games design. What do you guys think?' Michael looked at him carefully. And at Claire. Shaking his head he said, 'Claire. I swear you are the best thing to ever happen to Shane. I cannot believe you have actually pulled off the imposible with him. I didn't think anybody could make Shane willingly go back to school.'

'I've never made him do anything. I only ask him to do things and he's the one that actually does them, it's not like I force him.' She argued. 'Still though... to actually get him to even consider going back...' Eve told her. Shane indignantly said, 'I'm not actually considering. I am going back, well if they let me in, but still, i've asked Claire to pick me up an application for me. For years my life has been constantly changing. I just want to, now that I am actually starting to settle into life back in Morganville, be able to do something with my life. Something I can look back on and be happy about. Is that so wrong. You know sometimes I feel that the only person who actually supports me in life is Claire.' With this he stormed off. 'Great. Thanks guys. He actually makes a good decition about his life and you go and make him feel bad about it.' Claire got up and left to go after Shane leaving Eve and Michael standing in the living room. Michael decided to sit down in his favorite chair picking up his guitar.

'Great. Shane's PMSing again. What is with him.' Michael put his guitar down to think for a minute before answering her. 'Babe. I don't think it's that. He was making a serious decition, and a big one for him. He was never bothered about school or college before. Now he see's how much it's holding him back. I think the fact of how serious he is about going back just emphasises just how much he's thought about it. He really does want to do this. And we just put him down about it. That justs tells him that we don't think he can do it. We should be supporting him about it not making him feel bad and put him off it. Come on, let's go apologise. He deserves it from us.' They went up. When they reached the door they could hear Claire talking to Shane. 'I'm sure they didn't mean it Shane.' They could tell she was trying to calm him down. He was pissed big time. 'No Claire. They meant it. I thought they would at least be supportive of it. I mean, all they would say to me before would be some form of, 'get a job, or go back to school.' And... they're meant to be my friends. If that's what they think then what about others. Those who don't know me. Maybe I won't do it.' We were about to step in but Claire got it covered before me needed to. 'No, Shane. The reason you're doing this is to show people you have changed and that you are a better person than who they knew before. So, with them in that group, don't you want to do it more. If you did it then what would they think. It would be like a big slap in the face to them. And that's because they are your friends. So do it and prove them wrong, cause when you do, it will be them that will be sorry for you not believing, not you.'

Yeah, I guess you're right.' They heard as his reply. 'I am right. You are talking to the crazy young genius aren't you?' They could tell that their conversation was ending. 'Yes I am. And it's why I love you.' They decided it was time to come forward, so knocked on the door. 'Damn. Why is it whenever I want five minutes with my girl it always gets interupted. What?' They entered Shane's room. 'Hey man, look we're sorry for what we said downstairs. We should be supporting you and we weren't.'

'Yeah.' Eve piped in. 'So man, we good?' Michael asked extending his arm. Shane gave Michael his arm as well and they shook. 'Yeah. We're good.' 'As much as I want to stay and witness the lovefest I need to get to school and get that application, that is if you still want me to get it.' She looked expectantly at Shane. 'Absolutely.' He answered her giving her a kiss. 'Come on I'll give you a lift.' Eve offered her.