I've had this idea for awhile, the episode 'Bad Hair Day' motivated me to get it started.
I do not own Phineas and Ferb, or any character contained within. All of it belongs to Disney and the shows creators.
Carl was updating his blog when Major Monogram came over to his work station. "Carl, I have another mission for you." He announced.
The redhead gulped, dread creeping up his spine. In the beginning Carl jumped at the chance to go on missions, eager to prove he was useful for things other than pointing a camera and picking up dry cleaning. The more he did for Major Monogram the more likely he'd get hired to work at OWCA at the end of summer. Which meant getting paid. But Carl quickly learned that missions usually meant emotional scarring and weeks of nightmares.
He closed the internet window and turned to his boss. "W-what's the mission, Sir?" Carl asked weakly.
"Our sensors show that Doofenshmirtz has been favoring his basement again." Monogram read from a piece of paper. The teens eyes instantly widened in fear, his heart racing. "I need you to camp out down there and see what he's up to."
Carl panicked. "Nooooo! Anything but that, Sir, anything but that!" He grabbed onto the Majors uniform with both hands as he continued pleading. "The spiders! The rat and snail! How-how does a rat even give birth to a snail? HOW?"
Monogram pushed the terrified teenager away. "Jeez Carl, stop being such a baby!" He rolled his eyes. "We've got that all covered."
"Really?" Carl asked hopefully.
Monogram handed his intern a can of bug spray, a rat trap and a small container of salt. "There, that should do it."
Carl looked at the items he was now holding, they didn't make him feel any better. "Sir, do I really have to do this? Can't we just send Agent P over?"
"We can't just order our Agents to defeat their nemesis when we don't know what they're up to!" Monogram replied, completely ignoring the fact that's exactly what they did most of the time.
The teen tried pleading with his eyes but Monogram seemed set on sending him back to that nightmare of a basement. Carl admitted defeat. "Alright, Sir." He was going to need so much therapy after this.
-Z-
It wasn't hard sneaking into D.E.I., the doors to the main entrance were never locked and there weren't any security cameras anywhere in sight. All Carl had to do was ride the elevator down to the basement. Doofenshmirtz made it far too easy. Carl figured it was because other people lived in the building and it was too hard a task to keep an eye on everyone coming and going.
He took the can of bug spray and sprayed the area behind the water heater heavily before settling down. He cringed at the grime but did his best to ignore it. The rat and baby snail weren't far away but Carl couldn't bring himself to set the trap or pour salt on the snail. He loved animals and it wasn't their fault they were freaks of nature. Carl just prayed they stayed away from him.
Carl sat in the dark basement for nearly an hour before Dr. Doofenshmirtz made an appearance. He actually heard the evil scientist before he saw him. There was a crashing sound then Doofenshmirtz grumbling to himself. "Why do I always forget to turn on the lights?" A few seconds later bright light flooded the room. Carl had to shield his eyes, the change in lighting blinding him temporarily. When his eyes adjusted the teen saw Doofenshmirtz walk over to a box in the middle of the room and began shifting through it.
It only took a few moments for Heinz to find what he was looking for, a circuit board with several wires attached to it. After grabbing the item Doofenshmirtz left the basement, flicking the lights off as he went. Carl used all his willpower to repress a whimper. Everything was once again cast into darkness, made even worse by the fact that his eyes had to readjust to the lack of light. Meaning nothing was visible for several minutes.
This repeated several times, each time Doofenshmirtz would dig through the same box. Carl wished the man would just take the box upstairs so he could leave. But things couldn't be that easy. Every time the scientist would take one item from the box and leave, only to return about an hour later to retrieve something else. The redhead wanted to yell at him for being so stupid, why couldn't he just take the box upstairs and save them both a lot of trouble! And he wasn't any closer to figuring out what Doofenshmirtz was up to. The stuff he was getting looked like junk. And if the man talked to himself it was usually random nonsense or singing. He sung just as bad as Major Monogram (not that Carl would ever tell his boss that he was a bad singer).
It was probably around midnight, Carl was trying to fight falling asleep in his seated position, when the lights came on again. The lights revealed that a spider was crawling along the water heater right in front of Carl's face. The teen panicked, springing up from his hiding spot and spray the bug repellent all around him. "Get it away! Get it away!" He screamed as he continued to spray madly, until the can was empty.
Carl calmed down a little, pressing the nozzle a few times in hopes more would come out. That's when he realized had left his hiding place and Doofenshmirtz was looking right at him. They both stared at each other in confused silence.
Heinz recovered first. "Dr. Coconut? What are you doing here?" He asked in his German accent.
The intern looked around, as if hoping for an excuse to pop out of nowhere. "Um… Nothing?"
"Major Monobrow sent you to spy on me, didn't he?" Doofenshmirtz asked while digging into a pocket on his lab coat.
Carl thought it would be smarter to run instead of answering. But before he could make it to the elevator Doofenshmirtz pulled a remote from his pocket and pressed a button, metal arms came out of the wall and grabbed the teenager around the middle, locking his arms down against his sides. He kicked and struggled but couldn't get free. "Huh, I never thought I'd have to use those, but I'm glad I installed them." Doofenshmirtz said, more to himself than to Carl.
The scientist walked over to an intercom on the wall while re-pocketing the remote. He pressed a button on the com. "Norm, get down here, I need you."
'I'll be right there!' Came the cheery robotic reply.
He turned back to Carl while he waited for the robot. "You know, it's not very nice, always sneaking into my building. Installing that C.A.T. door or putting those cameras all over the place. And putting one in my bathroom… What's up with that?" He asked, looking a bit disturbed. Who put cameras in someone's bathroom?
"I was just following orders!" Carl whined, finally giving up on his struggle.
The elevator dinged as the doors opened, revealing the massive man-bot. It instantly spotted the teen. "Hi, I'm Norm!" He extended his arm in greeting, not realizing the redhead couldn't move his arms to shake hands.
Carl looked nervous. "Yeah, I know. We, uh, we met before."
Doofenshmirtz spoke up. "Yeah, that's another thing! Stealing my robot! And then you fire him? What? He's not good enough for OWCA?"
"Well, it's just, he's not an animal. That's all." Carl replied awkwardly.
"I'm so unloved!" Norm said in the saddest robotic voice he could manage, which didn't sound all that sad at all.
"Quit being such a drama queen, Norm." Heinz chided. "Now grab Dr. Coconut and come up to the lab with me."
The robot detached the mechanical arms from the wall but kept their claws locked around Carls middle. Norm tucked the teen under his arm, like he was an over-sided football and joined Doofenshmirtz in the elevator.
"Sooo, mind telling me what you have planned?" Carl asked, not really expecting an answer but still felt the need to talk to make the situation less awkward.
Heinz shrugged. "I was working on an -inator that'd turn all the bread in the Tri-State Area moldy. But now that I've captured you I have something so much more evil in mind." He rubbed his hands together in that sinister way evil scientists do in the movies.
Carl gave the man a weird look. Well, if Dr. Doofenshmirtz thought making bread mold was evil then whatever he was going to do to him couldn't be that bad. Maybe send him back to OWCA wearing a 'Kick Me' sign? The redhead hoped Agent K had the day off.
When the elevator stopped Heinz walked out into his lab, Norm following behind. He stopped at a corner of the lab where something sat covered by a tarp. The doctor grabbed the tarp and pulled it away. "Behold! The Memory-Alter-Inator!" Said device looked like the memory easer the Agency had, though crudely built and more sinister looking. "It alters a persons memories into anything I want! I was going to use this on Perry the Platypus, you know, so I could turn him evil and make him do my bidding. But you should make a good test subject."
Carl's eyes widened and he began to struggle for freedom again. This was so much worse than a 'Kick Me' sign. He didn't want to be evil!
Reviews would be lovely. And hopefully it won't take me a year to finish this story. Ha.