The world is a very different place through each person's eyes. I know that, but a lot of people don't. A lot of people assume that since they're seeing the sun shine out of someone's arse that everyone else has to, too. But I'm loathed to see the sun shine out of anyone's orifice, frankly, because life deals us all different blows, and you shouldn't have to just take it. Even if there is nothing you can do.

Not that I'd wish harm on anyone, of course, that would take too much effort. And I wouldn't say I was a bad person, bit of an idiot at times maybe, but not bad. I'm the kind of bloke who, when he sees a couple of travellers causing a fight in a pub, will jump in. Even if when I did jump in the world was on its side and I couldn't see straight. I still managed to help them win though, didn't I? Even if I did find out that the blond one was a prince. Wouldn't've done anything differently even if I had known – to me, when two geezers need help, they get help. I might get a pint out of it; I might get punched into the floor. Either way, it won't hurt until later and it's damn good fun at the time.

When people look at me, they probably just see a drunk. And yeah, that's a fair assumption – I seem to spend a lot more of my time walking sideways and squinting to try and make out the figures trying to smack me in the face (I just have one of those faces people want to punch. And I know Merlin says that if I keep my 'swagger' down, people will stop; but he gets his fair share of punches as well and he doesn't swagger, not that I do, anyway). But I wouldn't say that being a drunk would define me.

Theif? Nah. Well, okay, after my father died I did go off the rails a bit, and I did end up stealing some shit to help my mother look after the family, but I gave that up as a bad job years ago. It's a shame the villagers don't see it the same way.

'Who, Gwaine? Lovely boy… That is until his father passed away. Went right down the wrong path then, he did- stealing, drinking. Such a shame.'

Yep, these people never forget.

Womaniser? Don't make me laugh… I mean yeah, I like the birds. But it's not like they're falling at my feet wherever I go; don't look at me like that, they're not. I like a bit of fun, and if a lady wants to join in then well, I won't complain, life's too short.

Of course I miss my father, but I think he'd be proud of me now. I need to head back home when I get some time off, show my mother what I've done, that I'm a knight of Camelot now, not a waster. I sent her some money back not long ago, but I think she'll be worried over how I got it. Maybe the Camelot seal will calm her down a bit. Then again, maybe not. She'll probably think I've gotten arrested. Or killed. Or both. I was a bit of a numpty when I was a kid; but hopefully now she'll be able to look after the kids a bit better. My youngest brother is around 10 now, my youngest sister around 8. My mother remarried after my father died another semi-noble bloke. He, eh, didn't really take to me, but he got as many kids out of my mother before he tossed her aside with the lot of them and nothing for a younger bird.

Strength? Yeah, I'd say I was pretty strong. You have to be to deal with all the shit that happens in life. I'm not optimistic by nature, but I do try and make the most of it. All that smiling and seeing the bright side wears me down, I admire Merlin for being able to continue that for as long as he does. My life so far could have gone a lot better, but waking up in the morning still drunk and drinking more before the headache starts to kick in has gotten me this far. Arthur says that now I'm a Knight I need to stop spending as much time in the tavern, but there's definitely a difference between 'as much' and 'none at all'. I don't think he's too bothered as long as I'm there when he needs me, and I will be.

But I dunno, if I am 'strength' which is, I assume, what you're getting at I should be honoured. Because next to Arthur, that's… yeah. Impressive. Although I do have to remind you that the thing which told us that was lurking in a forest, small and had a face like a potato; so maybe not the most trustworthy source of information. But I do think that everything happens for a reason, and if fate has brought Strength, Bravery and… Magic together and pointed its finger at us, I'll gladly take on the role to help out the lads. They do need me, after all.

Arthur Pendragon… he's a good fella; he'll make a great king. Frankly, he might as well be at the moment since Uther's gone cuckoo. Poor bloke, that Morgana nonsense really took it out of him; he doesn't know what day it is. And his food keeps talking to him. Arthur's doing well to keep it together, I don't know if I could manage that. He's facing the court and the villagers with a really brave face, and things keep trying to bump him off as well. I've never had to work so much in my life, I don't understand how someone so young has a new person trying to kill him every day. But he is a good guy. Bit of a prat, but who isn't?

Merlin… Bless him, he's fantastic. He's possibly the nicest guy I've ever met. Always out to help people, would put his neck on the line for any of us. Has put his neck on the line, loads of times. He follows Arthur round like a lost puppy, but it's more than that – and no, I'm not going into what I mean by that. He's a laugh, and he's a brilliant drunk. And, he was the first person in a long while to look at me with respect. He deserves knighting himself for that. He sees the good in everyone and everything, and whenever someone does something bad, I think it breaks his heart a little bit. He cares entirely too much. And sometimes, I think I see the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders almost as much as on Arthur's…

Speaking of which, though, I need to be off. I have to ask Merlin how he managed to escape that mad bint magic'ing half a tree at him this time. He's running out of excuses now, so the ones that he does come up with are priceless…