Aleu’s Demise

by Da Dysfunctional Duo

Aleu, the heroine and clichéd teen daughter of Balto, finds that her running away quest has taken her to the dimension of Final Fantasy X. This results in the pain and torment to this sad excuse for a heroine/star of Balto II: Wolf Quest. NOT a musical.

Aleu's Demise

A Bashfic by Da Dysfunctional Duo

Authors Haruka and Blaze

Category: Games Final Fantasy 10 Humor Parody

Rating: PG-13 – Parental guidance: Not suitable for children under 13

Full Summary: Aleu, the heroine and clichéd teenage daughter of Balto, finds that her running away quest has taken her to the dimension of Final Fantasy X. Fun stuff happens, usually resulting in the pain and torment to this sad excuse for a heroine to the even SADDER excuse of a sequel to Balto: Balto II: Wolf Quest. On a side note: Unlike the movie, this is NOT a musical.

WARNING: This is a bashfic of the character Aleu from the HORRIBLE sequel, Balto II: Wolf Quest. This will be VERY childish, so be warned, and don't bother to flame. All flames WILL be laughed at, ridiculed, and the author humiliated. If you think this is immatureish, IT IS. Come on, what did you expect? It's from............. DA DYSFUNCTIONIAL DUO! Plain is Haruka, bold is Blaze.
   

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One day, the cliché character Aleu, who has taken the "rebellious teen" cliché, was walking around in Luca.
No point - like all our fics!
When all of a sudden a ranting Swede-loving Canadian jumped out and began to rant on how much she HATED Balto II compared to Balto I. Aleu took offense from EVERYTHING she said. Things like..
How the first Balto wasn't a goddamned musical, it was realistic, and it had only ONE cliché. Then the Swede-loving Canadian took out THE OFFICIAL LUMBERJACK BOB HATCHET OF DOOM!
She was JUST about to cleave the damn quarter-wolf teenage runaway cliché. However, Aleu used her evil yellow pupil-less eyes of DOOM, and somehow escaped harm. She warped some ways ahead, and continued her quest for absolutely nothing.
There, she came across Rin, world-famous Al Bhed merchant. "Oh, what a nice dog...wolf...thing," he mused.
Aleu, over trusting as she was, let Rin pet her. He stroked her behind the ears, and she purred, somehow. From her joy, her eyes suddenly changed to PURE EVIL YELLOW. Rin saw this, and began to freak out. He reached for his pipe, and...
...conked her over the head, causing severe brain damage. Aleu was now all wonky, as she wobbled off and met Wakka, who was being the same stupid guy we ALL know and love, and Wakka said, "Awww, how cute, ya?" He pet the disorientated dog...wolf...thing and Aleu bit him. Wakka got mad and...
Took of his boot and began to beat Aleu repeatedly over the head with it. Then he whipped her with his Foof-like cockatiel hairdo. She whimpered and sauntered off to meet...
Yuna! Yuna, as we all know, is dumber than a sack of doorknobs. "Oh, what a pretty hamster!" she said and began to pet Aleu, putting her in a fish tank. "Uh, Yuna, that's a wolf," Lulu warned as the wonky dog started ravenously biting Yuna's arm. "Tee-hee! That tickles!" Yuna giggled.
Her giggle was the worst, most HORRIFYING sound EVER. The fish tank shattered instantly, and Aleu was free once again. She hobbled, and bumped into a man. She was standing at the sand-covered boots of the one, the ONLY..... KEFKA! "Ahem, there is SAND on my boots!" Kefka said. Aleu obediently began to lick the sand off Kefka's boots. Kefka laughed with glee at his servant, "UWEEEHEEEHEEEHEEE!" Unfortunately for Aleu, she built up a layer of doggie slobber, which pissed Kefka off. He used Fire on her, blowing her away. He shouted, "FIRE! FIRE! UWEEHEEHEEHEEEE!" and went to play arcade games. Aleu landed by another person, this time..
Insert: Lulu's head writhed with pain and imploded.
O'aka! "Ooh, with you I can open up a pet store!" And so, O'aka picked up Aleu and began to attempt peddling the wolf dog thing to some hapless schmo. He put a 231,000 gil price tag on her, and indeed a customer walked up, and that customer was...
Eustis. Muriel wanted a playmate to go with Courage, so she sent him to buy a dog. In a previous episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog, Eustis actually won a contest for 231,000 gil. Now he has to pay it ALL. O'aka: "What's your offer?" Eustis shouted, "Hey! That's MY line." O'aka chuckled, "Not anymore, I STOLE it from you, like so many other things I steal!" Eustis grumbled and looked over Aleu. "Pretty ugly dog if you ask me. Looks abused. Oh well, I'll take it." O'aka says, "Very good choice! That'll be 231,000 gil." Eustis was peeved, and smoke flew. "BUT THAT'S WHAT I JUST WON!" A balloon flew up of Muriel saying "Won't you please buy me another dog for Courage? Please?" Eustis had no other choice and bought Aleu. As he was walking, Aleu slipped, tripping Eustis. His hat fell off, revealing his baldness. Eustis was pissed, and said, "STUPID DOG! YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD! ERRRRRRAGH!!" and he kicked Aleu off a bridge. She landed by...
Tidus! He was admiring himself in a mirror, "I'm so pretty! I love me!" Tidus kissed his reflection. Aleu got freaked out and sauntered off, finding none other than Rikku. "Oh, what a pretty doggy!" Rikku smiled, petting Aleu. Too bad Rikku was equipped with a glove outfitted with poison strike, and Aleu was poisoned. Then, it started to rain pineapples!
The pineapples pelted poor perpetuated petty Aleu. She ran for cover, and bumped into Auron along the way. He said nothing, and began to kneel to pet Aleu. A pineapple hit him in the head, knocking off his rotting skull, and replacing his head with the pineapple. Aleu freaked out and bit Auron. Auron exploded. Rabid wombats and wolverines came and ate the entrails. Aleu ran away and found...
Kimahri! "Kimahri say, ooh what a pretty doggy. Kimahri pet. Pet the doggy. Tee-hee, doggy fun!" Then his spear slipped out of his hand and impaled Aleu. "Uh-oh, doggy dead! What Kimahri do? Kimahri know! Kimahri use Phoenix down!" So Kimahri did, and Aleu was revived (albeit she had a big hole in her side). Aleu was officially scared, and she ran off to find...
Bumahri, who looked almost like Kimahri! Aleu was even more frightened, for she thought she saw a mirror image, or Kimahri warped to catch her. Either way, Bumahri said, "Are you lost doggy? I help you find your way! Come here and let me pet you!" Aleu began to run. Bumahri thought it was a game, and whipped out Da Tape. "Oooh, playing runaway game with Bumahri? I play too!" He zings the end of the tape, snagging Aleu by the neck. "Tag! Doggy it!" Aleu didn't know what to do, as Da Tape brought her back to Bumahri's hands.
"Sir Rin! Sir Rin! Come and look! Bumahri find new pet! See, see!" Everyone's favorite Ronso janitor dashed to his master, Rin. Rin remembered the dog and her evil yellow eyes, and started screaming wildly. "Bumahri no like new pet? Bumahri sorry..." Bumahri let Aleu go, and she ran off into a plot hole, which led to...
Bevelle. Aleu suddenly popped out at Bevelle, right at the top of the main temple. Maester Mika was standing there, rotting away before all his loyal subjects. They all turn to the dog....wolf......thing. Aleu screams when one of Mika's rotting fingers falls to the floor, where it is devoured by evil cockroaches. Aleu's eyes glowed yellow in her desperation, and Mika recognized her as a demon. He sicced his servants on her with garlic and wooden crosses. She ran down the stairs of the temple to find...
the ghost of Braska! "I am the ghost of Braska. I used to be living, but I am now a ghost of Braska," the ghost of Braska said bluntly. Then the rabid monkeys came in and ate Braska's ghost. Aleu ran off YET AGAIN, hopped into a plot hole leading to the Calm Lands, where she was trampled by Chocobos. Naida used a Phoenix down on the dog......wolf....thing, now a walking, furry pancake.
Aleu came across the monster trainer, who offered to race her for the ownership of a large pile or rotting severed arms from a really crappy fic from Red Wolf. She agreed, but lost the race. Instead, O'aka won the race, though Rin clubbed him on the pipe and bagged the decaying limbs. Aleu was confused, bit the Chocobo trainer, and gave her rabies. Aleu was then bombarded by those DAMN blue birds. She then found Seymour merrily picking daisies. He seemed nice, so she approached him..
and Seymour doublecast Flare on her. She was burnt to a crispy crunchy pancake...wolf...dog...thing. Naida used another Phoenix down, and the crispity-crunchity pancake wolf dog thing was on her way again.
She worked her way through the calm lands, somehow, and made it to the Macalania forest, where she found herself at the Thunder Plains. Thinking that she was so flat and close to the ground, she'd be safe from the thunder. Well, she was. But NOT from the Qactuars!! They used 1,000 needles on her over and over. By the time she made it to Rin's Travel Agency alone, she looked like a porcupine or some freakish pincushion. Her height tripled with the needles, and she was struck 231 times by lightning. Her consolation prize from Rin's Travel Agency was a tissue from FFVII's battle arena. She ate it.
Rin was residing inside his travel agency (he took Rikku on another "vacation" - she's outside). He looked out the window and saw Aleu again! "THAT'S IT! STOP FOLLOWING ME, YOU FREAKISH YELLOW-EYED THING!" He ran to Aleu and began rampantly pounding her with his copper pipe. Now she was:
The pancake...pulp...dog...wolf...thing OF DOOM!
The pancake...pulp...crunchy...blackened...dog..wolf....thing...with a hole in her side... crawled off and found herself in Guadosalam. The Guados of Li approached her and demanded a strawberry. She gurgled, insulting the Guados. They all snarled like vicious raptors, encircling her. She gulped, and began to sweat profusely. Suddenly, a yell was herd, and someone swung down on a chain of Polish Sausage and nabbed her from the Guados. After they landed, her savior revealed itself as...
Ace Hall. "I am ace Hall", the two-tailed tiger said. Ace used his SUPAH SELF INSERTION POWAH and teleported back to where this whole mess started, in Luca, dropped Aleu off, and went back to his world of horrible grammar and instant plot devices.
"The power centre it exploded in a big way," he exclaimed monotonously as he teleported off. Everyone shouted "yay" as he left, all devoid of enthusiasm. Aleu started wondering the now familiar streets. She came across the guards to the Luca Blitzball Stadium, Biggs and Wedge. "Aww, nice puppy! Hey, Wedge, check out the pancake...pulp......crunchy....blackened......dog.....wolf.......thing.....with some hole in her side......!" Wedge went up to Biggs and smiled broadly at the sight of Aleu. "Awwwwwwwww!" They proceeded to pet her. Upon contact, millions of fleas suddenly jumped on Biggs and Wedge, eating them alive. They were revived, scaring Aleu senseless. She bit them and they contracted Rabies and died a horrible slow death. Aleu ran off and found..
Balto, her father. "You are a disgrace to my family name!" Balto declared. "I hate you since I'm a clichéd rebellious teen!" Aleu declared. Since most animals eat their young, Balto ate her.

The end!