Chapter One

It was a rainy morning in Forks (like always) but this morning I felt a weight of nerves and fear on my shoulders. Everyone in the family had left on a hunting trip except for Carlisle who stayed with me upon my request! I wasn't sure what I was thinking when I was planning this but it was a very exhausting battle in my head. I had to tell Carlisle because I've gone so low that I'm in this darkness and can't find my way out. I need someone to help me. I would have continued with my train of thought when my phone vibrated, it was my best friend Emilia who wrote:

Stop making excuses and go tell him! You need him to help you! Please!

I sighed, she was right, I did need his help. So I took one long deep breath and rose from my desk chair, I took the short walk down the hall to Carlisle's office and as my knuckles were about to hit the mahogany door but then I froze with fear once more! I scurried quickly back to my room shutting the door!

"I can't do this! I'm crazy for even considering it!" I told myself quietly so as to avoid Carlisle's vampire ears from detecting anything, "I don't need help! I'm fine!" I began pacing the floor of my room.

No you're not! The scars on your wrist are proof that you're not fine, I thought in my head.

"He's going to be so angry with me! It's going to be awful"

You know that's not true, my thoughts contradicted again.

With that I once more walked to Carlisle's door and even though I almost chickened out, I found one last ounce of courage inside me and knocked on the door lightly, almost a whisper of a sound. I was hoping he might not hear the knock but I had no luck because his soothing voice answered, letting me come in.

Carlisle was sitting behind his desk like usual; he looked up from his book and smiled at me. "Renessmee, welcome, have a seat" he said smiling while gesturing toward the couch and closing his book. I walk over to the empty seat and sit down, shortly after he sits next to me as well. My heart is racing and that means that Carlisle can hear it also. My hands begin to tremble and I'm no longer calm.

"What pleasure do I owe this visit to?" he asked in a kind voice.

"Well…" I paused, "I don't know how I'm going to start this" I thought in my head but apparently I spoke it out loud as well.

"I have all the time in the world for you Nessie; I'm not rushing you at all"

I took another deep breath before I began, "Carlisle, remember when I came home crying that one day in freshmen year?"

"Yes, I do" he spoke with a hint of sadness in his voice, "you were upset about rumors that were being spread about you."

"Yes and remember when I was talking to Jacob on the phone?" I said my voice cracking as it began to lose its barrier. He nodded acknowledging that he knew what I was talking about so I continued, "on the phone I told Jacob that it gets really hard sometimes" my voice broke and a lone tear slid down my face, the first of many to surrender "well grandpa, it's been really hard. For a long time now and I've done so much damage I need help to fix it" the walls holding my tears back crumbled and I began sobbing.

Carlisle pulled me into a tight hug just letting me claw at his shirt as I cried my heart out. I can't remember the last time I cried so much, I always had to be strong, and I couldn't show my weakness. Renessmee Carlie Cullen was not a person to be seen as weak or vulnerable!

"Shhh…hush now darling, everything will be fine, shhh….calm down for grandpa, Honey" Carlisle spoke soothingly to me and after a while my cries were reduced to hiccups and sobs.

"Now, Nessie, I want you to tell me what you're feeling so I can understand. Tell me what has been going on so I can understand" he told me while running his hands through my long scarlet locks.

"The girls in the school…" I paused, interrupted by a hiccup, "they call me things. They call me a whore because Jacob is older than me and they think he is only dating me because I can please a man in bed…and then they tell me that I'm ugly and that I should commit suicide" more tears came but I continued, "and then there is this notebook that goes around the school, people write bad things about other people inside of it and on some pages it says that I have several STD's and that I charge people $3 to have…ummm…well sex, for lack of a better word. It has been so bad that I hide in the bathroom during lunch time to avoid everyone" I paused twisting my fingers around before saying the next thing, "I've heard it for so long that…I'm actually starting to believe them".

"Renessmee, my dear child you have everything all mixed up in your head" he said in an old and wise tone, "you are nothing even close to ugly, you are beautiful in every way possible. Those people who tease you are the ones who should be taking a good, long look at themselves in the mirror because they are the ugly ones. I don't know why people choose to act the way they do but I do know that we can choose to be good or bad people in this life and for naïve people like the ones that tease you, they often choose to be mean because they envy you."

"Grandpa, I hate to break it to you but I've heard that several times before…it's going to take a lot more convincing then that"

"Well Renessmee, it may be something in the history book but the truth never gets old. Scientifically speaking that is why people tease others, studies have proven it for many years- I would know, don't you think?" he said trying to lighten the mood while looking down at me, I was still nervous though, I was biting the bottom of my lip, I still hadn't told him yet. He chuckled and pull my lip from the grip of my teeth, "just like your mother, always had a habit of doing that when she was nervous but the real question at hand is, why you are still nervous?"

"Carlisle, I have something else to tell you…" I paused, "but I can't tell you…"

"Well, you could show me instead if you'd like…"

"I'm not going to show you with my gift but I will show you…physically" I stood up from the couch and turned my back to him taking a deep breath. I turn to face him holding out my right arm. He takes the hint and pushes up the sleeve of my sweater. He sees thin lines that look like scratches scattered about my arm, light marks show them. He just stares at my arm for a while and I begin to shake with fear, what is he thinking? Is he mad? Is he shocked? Will he punish me? Thoughts raced through my mind all at once before he finally looked up, his amber eyes held shock laced with sadness.

"Please don't hate me Carlisle, please don't hate me…" I begged as a fresh cloud of tears rained down my cheek.

"Oh Honey, I don't hate you, not one bit" he said pulling me into a tight hug and dragging me to sit on his lap, he held me and rocked me while I cried before he spoke again.

"Nessie, I need you to tell me, are there any more?" I nodded silently, looking at the floor, "where?" his eyes bulged begging to know. I stood up and lowered the top of my sweat pants half an inch to my hips where three or four lines tattooed my skin and then I took my left arm and pulled up the row of bracelets to reveal another five lines.

"Oh Renessmee!" he said standing up and pacing the floor of his office, "for how long?"

"2 years…"

He stopped in his track and looked at me, he walked over getting down on one knee to my level, "Nessie, we have to tell the family, they have to know"