Diclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Please don't sue me. If you possess the copyright, just have your legal representative send me a C&D and this will be gone before you can say "intellectual property."

Summary: Orihime and her landlady have a little "chat"

Characters: Orihime

Warnings: It's gen (at least for now), and there's no, you know, funny business or drugs or violence. It's just setting everything up. However, this is an AU of sorts. Set after the events of the Soul Society arc. For now, just assume that what happens as soon as they get back don't happen. It won't be that big of a deal, I promise.

Home, Sweet Home

Prologue: Tinked

Being summoned to see the she-wolf was never a good thing. She dwelled in her lair, using her color-coded slips of paper to hunt down her prey. Which was kind of odd, if you thought about it, because weren't wolves supposed to be out and active and in a pack? Maybe she was more of a spider. Yes, a spider. With all venom and eyes and dripping oozing death.

"Miss Inoue?"

The papers were just her way of notifying you that you were being moved up the docket to today's tasty meal, like some kind of evil auctioneer.

Going once. "Miss Inoue," Going Twice, "are you paying attention to me?" Going three times . . .

"SOLD!" she shouted, making the landlady jump.

"Miss Inoue, did you hear a word I just said?" She looked annoyed.

Orihime had the presence of mind to blush. "I'm sorry. I must have been lost in my thoughts. Did I do something wrong?"

The landlady smiled really big. Her wolf grin. No, she's a spider. Do spiders grin? Probably not. They don't even have mouths.

"Well, as I was saying, your lease is up in a few days, and I'm afraid I won't be renewing it."

"What? Why not? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I'm so sorry."

"Oh no, nothing of the sort. I'm re-tooling this building for young professionals, that's all. You don't really fit that image."

"But ma'am, I am a professional."

"I'm sure you are, sweetheart."

"Ma'am, I am. I'm a professional highschool student."

"I mean doctors, lawyers, and teachers. That sort of thing."

Oh. "Well, I know what I want to be. It's very professional."

"What's that?"

"When I grow up, I want to be the finest robot fighter there is."

The landlady did not seem impressed by this revelation. Her lips formed a thin line, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to evict you, miss. So, please pack your belongings. Your lease expires at the end of the week. I'm sorry, I've been trying to get into contact with you. I've been putting out slips for the last month."

She didn't seem very sorry. "Well, okay. I'll be gone by then. One thing, though."

"Yes?"

"Where am I supposed to live?"

"Well, there are some nice buildings around here, but most of them are too big for one person. Maybe if you got a roommate or two, you could afford them."

"Yeah! Or a cat."

"I think you'd best stick to human roommates. Good luck to you."

She didn't seem too sorry, though. Maybe it's the wolf in her. Makes her ruthless. Or the spider. All calculating. Maybe she's an octopus. Those are pretty cold at times, but also shy. "Goodbye."

So. Roommates, eh? Maybe we could live in the school at night, and just not pay rent at all. It would probably get uncomfortable, though. Where would I put my clothes? Okay. Roommates it is. Just have to find some people who wouldn't mind living with me.

End Prologue

A/N: Writing as Orihime is very challenging. I'm glad most of this story isn't in her head. Chapter one will reveal her first choice.