Introduction:

As always, my deepest gratitude to Matsumoto-sama for allowing me to play in such a wonderful world. All profit or gain should rightly revert to Matsumoto-sama, for without his genius none of us would have been allowed the pleasure of meeting such an interesting cast of characters.

I started this project over 10 years ago, and have just recently dusted it off. Although it has changed considerably from what I had in mind in the first place, it's certainly been enjoyable to read back through and rewrite. I should warn you however, this is not a standard triangle fic. Hikaru has yet to make an appearance and probably will not. This is a matter of personal taste. If I offend, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Syopsis:

Madoka returns from her career as a pop Idol after twenty-two years away to find something she lost along the way. The rest of the cast have grown into their own lives, but have never forgotten the impact she'd had on them.

To Be A Star Chapter 1

Ayukawa pushed the door open before her, her eyes absently scanning the large suite about her as she pushed one foot into the carpeted parlor of the room, her hand wafting across the dials that were built into the wall on the right. At once the lights came up, if only slightly.Ayukawa nodded harshly, and strutted to the bar. She hadn't had a drink since she'd gotten on the bullet shuttle from New York. She'd heard all the reports on how 'safe' and 'harmless' those damn ballistic shuttles were, but she still believed in the very fabric of her bones that you didn't need to go all the way to the heavens and back just to go half-way round the globe. She pulled the bar open abruptly, her nerves still jangled from the ordeal of traveling. J&B in a tumbler with three cubes of ice. It was still early.

Ayukawa grabbed it, pulling it to her lips and taking a slow drink from the tumbler. Her muscles relaxed slowly as the warm tingle of the liquid ran through the extremities of her body. "Ah..." she replied contentedly into the glass as she pulled it down from her mouth, allowing herself a moment to center herself before she took another sip, letting the steam curl slowly around her features as the enforced relaxation of the drink came then crossed the room to the phone.

She dialed room service and waited as she nursed the now half-empty J&B. It took them an interminably long time to pick up, as it always did, the world over, she thought. Some hotels in England still considered their customers worth the time and effort to answer their damned phones punctually, but most didn't. It was the modern ethic. 'I'm too busy to actually do my job'

Finally, a young man intoned a greeting and Ayukawa quickly listened to the specials. "No, I want pastrami on Jewish Rye with salad dressing"

"I'm sorry, maam." He replied. "We're now serving dinner, would you rather have"

She didn't let him finish. "If I'd rather have something else, I'd ask for it." She spat.

Silence awaited her.

"Send up what I asked for, please. Room 1138"

The reply came slowly. "Yes, maam. Is there anything else, maam"

Ayukawa smiled, "Why thank you, yes. If you'd be so kind as to add small salad to that please. Vinegrette"

Again came the grudging accent, and she hung up the phone.

She smiled, her eyes finding the pleasure of at least one argument won today, then turned toward the main room and made her way through the threshold of the entry-way and across the room. She put her drink down in front of the widescreen and found the drawer marked 'Entertainment' beneath it. She pulled the drawer out smoothly as she lowered herself to the floor, setting herself on the back of her ankles. The drawer opened wide before her as her eyes fluttered across the array of selections. She had to admit, they hadn't spared any expense on their video library.

Her hand reached out and found her drink, then she pulled another sip from her glass, the liquid bringing another tinge of relief into her form, allowing the muscles of her arms to become pleasantly slack as her eyes fumbled across one of the selections in the list. "Masaka." she mumbled to no one in particular, her finger following her gaze back up to the title that had caught her eye. "LIVE! The Price Of Love - Ayukawa Madoka"

"Hohoho!" she chuckled aloud, her eyes squinting under the pressure of her humor as the laugh began to enthrall her, then calmed slowly. She hadn't expected to see her own name in the list of so many, most especially from such a distant concert. Actually, it had been the first of many. She smiled brightly and ran her finger down the list again. There were more of hers there, as well as the one movie she had ever made. Laughter licked at her ribs again as she remembered how bad that movie actually was. She had been one of the many singers who had taken a shot at a career in acting at that time, and the one her agent had picked up for her was a veritable disaster. The writers had no idea what they were doing; no idea what kind of image she wanted to project. And the director (the DIRECTOR!) had spent more time chasing her around the set than actually directing the picture. She could still remember his name, even now. "Moroboshi!" she chimed to herself as another gust of laughter hit her again. She wasn't likely to forget him, or his wife.

"Tzzzzzt!" she mumbled to herself, then burst out laughing. No, that was one experience that she didn't think she would ever forget.

"Mmmm..." she sighed as the storm subsided, her eyes a-glaze with memories. Even that had been a very long time ago, more time than she had ever imagined there was, so long ago. Abruptly her smile disappeared as the thought ran through her mind. That was the truth of it, 'so long ago'. That was one thing she did regret. Time.

----

Kyousuke pushed himself along the sidewalk, his eyes diligently drawn to his feet, as if he were not willing to see so much of himself in the dim faces that passed him on the late Saturday evening. He straitened his form and nodded abruptly to the two men who faced him, murmuring an apology as he squeezed himself between them. It had been quite a while since he'd been out of the house by himself, much longer than he'd thought as a matter of fact. But one didn't have much time when trying to raise a teen-age daughter, most especially his teen-age daughter, Soko. It seemed that she was always getting into trouble, in one way or another. As a matter of fact, she was the only reason he was out this late. She had gone out on a date with one of her schoolmates, who--by some miracle of happenstance--reminded him somewhat of himself when he was that age. This was not a good sign; not a good sign at all. He remembered too much about those days, and what kind of schemes he had come up with to interest the various girls in his past. In that knowledge, he couldn't help but make sure his 'baby' was all right no matter how early the young man had promised to bring her home. Even she was too much like someone he knew all to well for him to be certain about her safety. And so, he had found himself here, walking the same street he couldn't remember how many times, looking into one particular window each time he passed. It really wasn't too bad, he told himself. He had gotten incredibly bored standing outside the movie theatre, trying to stay in the shadows in case they had decided that particular showing didn't suit them. He chuckled to himself at the thought. He really must learn to trust her sometime. Even if he could find the time he would surely run out of energy before she did. His relatively old bones couldn't take going out every night for hours on end. His metabolism wouldn't put up with it.

But nevertheless, he was here, walking this street, and making sure his daughter hadn't run into any problems on her 'date', although he refused to think of it as such. It wasn't his fault that none of her so-called boyfriends weren't good enough for him. He pulled his eyes up from the pavement beneath his feet, scanning the streets as his mind ran over every part of the evening with a critical glare. He could already see the danger signs in this one. He had that far-off look of a dreamer, which was all right as far as it went, but then again -even though he remembered the same look in his own eyes- such boys weren't noted for their.

His feet stopped abruptly, breaking his thoughts as he found his head painfully pressed up against the broad shoulders of a very large man staring into the window of small electronics shop with a sudden THUMP!

"Hey!" the large man responded, turning to Kyousuke fiercely, "Watch where you're going!" then turned back to the Terminals in the window tuned to a news site. "Hahahaha!" Kyousuke stuttered out, his palms beginning to sweat nervously, hiding one hand behind his head "Go.. Gomen." One thing he most definitely did not need was to attract any kind of attention. If his daughter caught him again there would be hell to pay. His hoarse throat still remembered the last time she had seen him following her on one of her dates, and remembered the shouting match that had ensued after she had caught him alone.

He couldn't help it if he was a bit protective of his only daughter. It was just his way, even though it did seem to suffocate anyone who knew him, or so Manami told him every time she saw him. But he pushed the thought back to deal with later as he bowed slightly to the man's back, chuckling nervously, all too eager to remove himself from the situation when the light tone of the large terminal in the window caught his attention.

He stood consumed by the screen as the young blonde anchor continued with her monologue, "And in other news today, the singing sensation Ayukawa Madoka has disappeared from her California home, missing the first scheduled appearance of her new tour entitled 'Unique' at Radio City Music Hall. Her agent and Manager, Mr. Davis has issued a press release denying the rumors of her early retirement from her singing career and assures the public that she will most certainly attend her next scheduled event, dated April 23 in Chicago. However, sources close to Madoka state that..." but Kyousuke's mind was elsewhere, drifting through memories that he had never thought exhausted after all this time. "Papa!" a voice sounded out from behind him as he jumped out of his skin. "Oooaagh!" he sounded, his mind quickly turning to the situation at hand as he turned slowly. 'Shimata!' he sounded to himself. She'd caught him. "Ah! Soko-chan," he smiled to his daughter, then nodding noncommittally to her young counterpart, "what a coincidence!" he tried to explain as the sweat began to pour down from his forehead, hiding his hand at the base of his neck as he gave a nervous chuckle.

She brushed his comment aside as she always did in this situation, and poised herself for her usual 'dim' response, "Papa, Seigi-san's going to walk me home, so don't stay out too late, okay"

"Ahhaha!" Kyousuke struggled, trying to come up with something that would counter his daughter's quick blow. "Hai." then chiding himself fiercely for not coming up with something that could at least be considered a sentence.

"Ja ne, Papa!" she turned quickly, grabbing her date by the arm and pulling him after her. She had no compulsion to stay here and listen to his excuses. She could do that at home.

"Ja!" Kyousuke called after her as they swept through the crowd of people gathered along the sidewalk, then sighed to himself as they dropped out of sight. It had already been a rough night, and was surely likely to get worse. But who could blame him for not trusting a boy with a name like that? And the way he looked at her. What had possessed her to associate with such an obvious 'H!
He liked to think that it was her mother that inspired such things in her, but he knew better. He hadn't exactly been an angel all his days, most especially when he'd heard the phrase 'Just the two of us.' no matter who it pertained to. He pulled his head up quickly, his eyes fierce with the light of recognition, as the thought passed through his mind. At his doorstep, just the two of them. "Shimata!" he bellowed aloud, his mind caught in the fury of the thought, and broke into a feverish run. If he could just get there before they did, he could stop the inevitable, as if that was something that was possible. But he most surely didn't want her to repeat the mistakes that he'd made, and he felt sure -as he did about any boy who entered his home- that Seiji was one of them.

"Out of my way!"

----

Madoka groaned as she turned onto her side, the mass of dark hair that covered her face sent almost electric tingles throughout her features as her eyes fluttered open. It had been a hard night, and even now, as she woke, if slowly, she could still feel the presence of what it was that she had run from the night before. Ayukawa grimaced at the pains that wracked her stomach, yet pushed herself upright nevertheless. She had become somewhat accustomed to the nagging of her stomach that waited at each morning to greet her, most especially after the nights that she had chosen to drink a bit too much, which was more often than she liked to admit. She was somewhat surprised at the force of her explosion the night before as her eyes scanned the room. Drinking might be average for her at this point in her life, but violence surely wasn't, and from the look of the room around her, she had been quite violent in her attentions the night before. "Hummph." she grunted remorselessly to herself. Just one of the numerous things that her agent would surely begrudge her about the next time they talked, which was also more often than she liked to admit. She couldn't help it if he was the only one that treated her as if she was an actual person, although his schemes might not even leave room for any kind of compassion, much less human emotion, she laughed mirthlessly at the thought of his keen eyes and hollow voice. Even if he didn't know it, he was more human than most. His open cynicism had helped her even her temperament more than once, or so she told herself.

She pushed her legs over the side of the bed, not surprised at the fact that she hadn't bothered to muss the sheets the night before, or that she had slept in her clothes, such was customary of one of her binges. She flapped her arms uselessly at the evidence of her drunken inaction and pressed the heel of her hands into her abused eyes, trying to make them focus, although even she couldn't really think of a reason her eyes would see anything she wanted to see. And yet, even though she most definitely didn't want to, there were things she had to do today. That was the entire reason she was here after all this time; finally returning to her home. She huffed angrily, letting all the air fall from her lungs, then pulled in a deep breath. Her chest strained painfully at the thought of actually going out in public. It was something else she hadn't done in a very long time.

She held the air inside her lungs for a second that seemed like much longer as her eyes squinted shut against the barrage of thoughts that entered her mind. All the excuses that had kept her from doing this very same thing for so many years. Then with all the force she could muster, she pushed them aside. If she didn't do it now, she never would.

She pushed herself up from her bed and stalked to the bath to prepare herself for the day. There had been many a day that she had dreamt of this. And now, almost as if it were another dream, she couldn't believe it was about to occur.

Ah, Chapter 1 is done. Come back soon for Chapter 2. A fateful meeting between two old friends is awaiting you!